Many years ago, I read the Dalai Lama’s autobiography, Freedom in Exile. In the book, he shares a Buddhist practice that helps foster bodhicitta, the idea of awakening your mind with knowledge, wisdom and compassion in order to benefit (yourself) and all sentient beings.
Here’s the premise: look upon every person you meet as if they could be your mother.
If you are one of those people who did not have a nurturing or loving relationship with your mother, think of a person (or perhaps an animal) who was that loving presence for you when you were small. That person/being who offered you kindness, took care of you, nurtured you…
When I first read about this practice, I was a stay-at-home mom and didn’t have much interaction with other people. But every day when I’d go to collect my child from her elementary school, there was this one individual who really got under my skin.
After reading his holiness, I thought I’d give his technique a try.
At first it felt weird. Why would I even want this person to be my mother? Ewwww.
Part of why Buddhists can embrace this idea is because they believe in reincarnation. The concept that we have lived multiple lives. Given that theory, it is actually possible that every being we encounter could have been a relative, or even your mother!
So I kept doing the practice, trying to see this person as if they were my mother. Over time, I’m not entirely sure what happened exactly, but the way I felt around them – annoyed, repulsed, wanting to be anywhere else- went away! And I found I could greet them with absolute equanimity. WOW.
Thinking about this practice recently, I looked it up. The formal name for it is the 7 Point Instruction on Cause & Effect and it essentially invites you to walk through seeing another as a loved one, feeling gratitude and thankfulness for all you've received, and wishing them well.
Because I think it’s such a great practice, I did a recording of it. It is called, Foster Compassion and is #65. Have a listen in the podcast today and follow along.
Feel free to let me know how it goes! I’ll be curious to see if you find it impactful.