How to Use the Centering Prayer Throughout Your Day
Last blog I shared a meditation/prayer practice with you called the centering prayer. If you missed it, here’s a link to the post. The centering prayer is a wonderful example of a powerful tool that you can apply both -into your regular meditation practice AND in your everyday, going about town life. As a quick review, here’s the basic idea:
Last blog I shared a meditation/prayer practice with you called the centering prayer. If you missed it, here’s a link to the post.
As a quick review, here’s the basic idea:
1. Choose a word (or phrase) to focus on during your meditation.
2. Ensure that you’re sitting comfortably with your eyes closed.
Begin repeating the word or phrase silently to yourself over and over again slowly. Deepen into the phrase, slowly and intentionally, giving your thought-mind something to focus on. If your phrase is: “I rest in God,” begin by saying that phrase. Eventually it may become “I rest,” or “God” that gets repeated as you slow down and deepen into the words.
3. Whenever you get distracted by another thought or body sensation, simply return to your word or phrase.
How do you then extend this practice to your day!?
It’s easy!
You’re gardening. Allow your mind to tune into your word or phrase. Repeat it over and over to yourself silently or aloud.
You’re driving. Same thing. Bring your thoughts back to your word or phrase. Keep repeating it. If you get sidetracked, simply come back.
You’re upset after reading an article about _____ (fill in the blank). Invite your word or phrase to come into your awareness. Continue to repeat it. Notice if your nervous system calms down.
And on and on, throughout your day.
The centering prayer is a wonderful example of a powerful tool that you can apply both -into your regular meditation practice AND in your everyday, going about town life.
Pick a phrase and give it a try!
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How to Have a Centering Prayer Practice
Today I have a cool meditation/prayer for you. It’s called the centering prayer. It’s a way of praying that allows us to loosen our minds from thought and enter that transcendental space that can often feel elusive.
August was BUSY! How about you?
Today I have a cool meditation/prayer for you.
It’s called the Centering Prayer.
The Christian contemplative, Cynthia Bourgeault, has written extensively about this practice and teaches this technique around the world! It’s a way of praying that allows us to loosen our minds from thought and enter that transcendental space that can often feel elusive.
She shares that this practice was popularized by Father Thomas Keating, a Trappist priest. He was one of the first people to promote the Centering Prayer which is based on a 14th century Christian mystical text called The Cloud of Unknowing.
Here’s the basic idea:
Choose a word (or phrase) to focus on during your meditation.
Ensure that you’re sitting comfortably, with your eyes closed. Begin repeating the word or phrase silently to yourself over and over again slowly. This is different than a mantra where you continually repeat the word. It’s more of a deepening into the phrase, slow and intentional. The idea is to give your thought-mind something to focus on. So, for example, if your phrase is: “I am love,” you begin by saying that phrase, eventually it may become “I am,” or “love” that gets repeated as you slow down and deepen into the words.
Whenever you get distracted by another thought or body sensation, the invitation is to return to your word/phrase.
Continue repeating it. What Bourgeault explains in her book, The Heart of Centering Prayer: Nondual Christianity in Theory and Practice, is that the slow repetition helps you relax into that liminal space, much like how you might fall asleep, when your mind shifts from one state into another.
The recommendation is to do this for 20 minutes. Father Keating suggested practicing it twice a day.
I’ve been utilizing it, and finding it really helpful. It’s both gentle and structured, which I like!
Here’s an adapted excerpt from Bourgeault’s book about this practice:
So are we really saying that in Centering Prayer you meditate by simply letting go of one thought after another?
That can certainly be our subjective experience of the practice, and this is exactly the frustration expressed by an early practitioner.
In one of the very earliest training workshops led by Keating himself, a nun tried out her first twenty-minute taste of Centering Prayer and then lamented, “Oh, Father Thomas, I’m such a failure at this prayer. In twenty minutes, I’ve had ten thousand thoughts!”
“How lovely,” responded Keating, without missing a beat. “Ten thousand opportunities to return to God.”
This simple story captures the essence of Centering Prayer.
It is quintessentially a pathway of return in which every time the mind is released from engagement with a specific idea or impression, we move from a smaller and more constricted consciousness into that open, diffuse awareness in which our presence to divine reality makes itself known along a whole different pathway of perception.
That’s what the anonymous author of the fourteenth-century spiritual classic The Cloud of Unknowing may have had in mind when he wrote, “God may be reached and held close by means of love, but by means of thought never.”
“Love” is this author’s pet word for that open, diffuse awareness which gradually allows another and deeper way of knowing to pervade one’s entire being.
Out of my own four decades of experience in Centering Prayer, I believe that this “love” indeed has nothing to do with emotions or feelings in the usual sense. It is rather the author’s nearest equivalent term to describe what we would nowadays call nondual perception anchored in the heart.
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Embodying Well-Being Part IV
We are now at the last pillar of well-being which is defined as purpose.
Purpose has had a resurgence of interest in the past few years, and I confess to have done my fair share of contemplation with it!
Most inquiries around purpose seem to focus on action, as in what you do, how you do it and then show up in the world. But underneath that is another layer, isn’t there? It’s the motivation behind the action.
Here’s what I mean. If you think you are here to be helpful, of service, then you will choose a job to illustrate that belief.
We are now at the last pillar of well-being which is defined as purpose.
Purpose has had a resurgence of interest in the past few years, and I confess to have done my fair share of contemplation with it!
Most inquiries around purpose seem to focus on action, as in what you do, how you do it and then show up in the world. But underneath that is another layer, isn’t there? It’s the motivation behind the action.
Here’s what I mean. If you think you are here to be helpful, of service, then you will choose a job to illustrate that belief.
Think about someone like Steve Jobs. He famously said that he wanted to “make a dent in the universe.” It isn’t surprising, then, that he gravitated towards technology as his way of leaving an indelible mark.
To this end, the focus Dr Davidson emphasizes when he addresses this pillar is on values.
What are your core values?
If you’re drawing a blank, don’t worry. This can be hard. You can use this wonderful list compiled by Brené Brown to shed light.
Once you’ve identified your core values, lean into them even when you’re doing chores or other seemingly mundane activities, like the dishes or laundry.
This idea always reminds me of a close friend I had in my 20s. We were both recent graduates from college living in Hong Kong, thousands of miles from our families. I remember him saying to me once, “it doesn’t matter what you do. You could be a garbage collector! Whatever it is, do your best and take pride in what you’re doing.”
I her him in my head when I clean the toilet, make the bed, show up on calls, write an essay. Because that is the VALUE behind the action, the intention.
Not surprisingly, the research tells us that having a sense of purpose improves health outcomes and behaviors.
A great practice to help you hone into your purpose and core values, is to do an inquiry. Take that list I linked above and spend some time with it.
See if you can come up with your top 5 values!
As I end this little mini-series, I thought I’d leave you with some words from Dr Davidson about our minds and how we can support them even more.
Many of the most significant challenges in the world today stem directly or indirectly from a failure to nurture the key pillars of well-being. Is such a massive change in mindset possible? I would say emphatically, yes. Consider that when human beings first evolved on the planet, none of us were brushing our teeth. Yet I imagine every one of you reading this essay brushes your teeth. This simple act of personal physical hygiene is not inborn, it’s not a part of our genome. We’ve all learned to do this, and now incorporate teeth brushing into our daily routine. I also suspect that most of you would consider your mind to be even more important than your teeth. Yet most people in the world today do not spend even as little time each day nourishing their mind as they spend brushing their teeth.
Our research, as well as studies by others, clearly indicates that even very short amounts of contemplative practice can make a big difference in one’s well-being. What is a short amount of practice? Our work demonstrates that even 5-6 minutes per day of practicing the skills of well-being can dramatically decrease standardized measures of distress and improve measures of well-being and social connection.
Now that you’ve heard it from the expert, are you in?
Incorporate these 4 habits, work them like muscles, and watch your life transform.
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Experiencing Well-Being Part III
We’re already at the 3rd pillar of well-being!
As a quick review, the first two are:
1.Awareness
-Meaning, the ability to be more present, tuned into your here and now as well as to your mind chatter.
From Dr Davidson directly:
“Awareness: A heightened, flexible attentiveness to one’s environment and internal cues such as bodily sensations, thoughts, and feelings.
Skills: Mindfulness, attention, self-awareness”
We’re already at the 3rd pillar of well-being!
As a quick review, the first two are:
1.Awareness
-Meaning, the ability to be more present, tuned into your here and now as well as to your mind chatter.
From Dr Davidson directly:
“Awareness: A heightened, flexible attentiveness to one’s environment and internal cues such as bodily sensations, thoughts, and feelings.
Skills: Mindfulness, attention, self-awareness”
2. Connection
– How we are in relationship to ourselves, to others, and to the larger world around us.
From Dr Davidson directly:
Connection: A feeling of care and kinship toward other people, promoting supportive relationships and supportive interactions.
Skills: Appreciation, kindness, compassion
And 3?
Insight
One way to think about insight is that you are the hero of your own story. What are your values, beliefs, expectations? How do you even define your ‘self’?
Insight in this context, is the ability to bring curiosity and objectivity to this idea of ‘self’. Can you be- to think about this in a Buddhist way- the witness to your ‘self’? Can you observe your ‘self’ from a different, neutral perspective?
If you’re willing to do this level of introspection, you may begin to see how the ways you define yourself are based on learned behaviors and societal / familial norms that contribute to how you experience/perceive the world.
Interestingly, the invitation with this isn’t to necessarily change the narrative you have defined for yourself, but to be willing to wear it more lightly, to recognize that you can look at yourself and the world differently.
Why is this?
The science indicates that having a more rigid, inflexible construct of who you are is linked with higher levels of anxiety and depression. Conversely, people who tend to be growth-oriented experience more well-being.
One way to play with this concept is to identify a feeling you’re having in a moment. Take this moment right now. What are you feeling?
Apathy, curiosity, confusion, overwhelm…
Allow yourself to have curiosity about it.
Why am I feeling this?
Does it have a root in something I experienced externally or is it related to a thought I just had?
Dr Davidson refers to this type of inquiry as a form of insight related deconstructive inquiry/meditation. His research notes that people who meditate on this particular concept show “enduring changes in self-related processing in the brain.”
Pretty cool.
Give it a try and see what you think!
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Cultivating Well-Being Part II
How is your practice of awareness coming along?
Another way to think about awareness, is mindfulness. If you google that word alone, you’ll find loads of practices (in addition to the pause one I gave you) to support you in cultivating more awareness.
Today we’re exploring the 2nd pillar of well-being that Dr Richard Davidson identified with his neuroscience research.
How is your practice of awareness coming along?
Another way to think about awareness, is mindfulness. If you google that word alone, you’ll find loads of practices (in addition to the pause one I gave you) to support you in cultivating more awareness.
Today we’re exploring the 2nd pillar of well-being that Dr Richard Davidson identified with his neuroscience research.
Connection
What is connection?
It’s feeling linked to yourself, others, and the world around you.
I’m sure you’re aware that we’re in a crisis of isolation. People have been feeling increasingly disconnected and alone (largely due to technology and smartphone usage.)
These symptoms are often associated with depression, anxiety, and other forms of suffering. Whereas having deep social bonds is a predictor of better health and longevity!
What’s one way you could foster kinship towards a friend, colleague or family member? How can you expand your social net?
When we extend of ourselves in positive ways, such as being generous, studies indicate it activates the center of our brain that is associated with happiness and joy!
There are a myriad of ways to be generous.
Of course, there’s financial generosity, donating funds to help another person or a cause.
But there are other ways, too!
How are you generous with your time?
With your knowledge/wisdom?
With your presence?
Could you extend of yourself even more by being generous?
What is one way?
The invitation here is to lean into connection in an intentional way. Not from your desire to get your needs met, but rather from a heart centered place of compassion and caring. To that end, use the above inquiry to help you extend of yourself and your generosity to create and/or deepen your social bonds and connections.
Have fun with this!
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Cultivating Well-Being Part I
Have you heard of a neuroscientist named Richard Davidson?
He’s been doing research on the brain specifically related to mindfulness, meditation, and well- being for decades. And his research is fascinating!
One of his key findings is around the idea of well-being. Through extensive study, trials and research, he has identified what he calls 4 pillars of well-being.
The really exciting news is that these so-called pillars aren’t inherent qualities, or even simply acquired knowledge. They are qualities that each and every one of us can cultivate and apply every day of our lives! Wahoo!
Have you heard of a neuroscientist named Richard Davidson?
He’s been doing research on the brain specifically related to mindfulness, meditation and well- being for decades. And his research is fascinating!
One of his key findings is around the idea of well-being. Through extensive study, trials and research, he has identified what he calls 4 pillars of well-being.
The really exciting news is that these so-called pillars aren’t inherent qualities, or even simply acquired knowledge. They are qualities that each and every one of us can cultivate and apply every day of our lives! Wahoo!
Because this is such an important topic, I’ve decided to create a 4-part series to dive into each aspect, to really understand it as well as offer tools to help you incorporate each of these pillars into your life.
Before we dive into the first one, I wanted to share some interesting observations around learning and neuroscience from Dr. Davidson.
The first is on ways that we acquire information and learn.
He writes, “Neuroscience research has taught us that there exist two fundamentally different kinds of learning: declarative learning and procedural learning. Declarative learning is conceptual. It is learning “about.” We can learn about the value of well-being or kindness, but this will not necessarily improve our well-being or make us a kinder person. For genuine transformation to occur we also need procedural learning. Procedural learning is skill-based learning, it is acquired through practice, and it involves completely different brain systems compared with declarative learning.”
Think about yourself and how you learn best. Then think about how you apply your knowledge!
The second is related to the idea of how our mind can change.
“There is another great insight from modern neuroscience that is fundamental to this area of research: plasticity (which means the ability to change). There is both neuroplasticity and epigenetics, a form of genomic plasticity. These processes are so important because they provide a mechanism through which contemplative practice may operate on the brain and body, and this mechanistic understanding is essential for bringing these practices into mainstream science.
Plasticity- both in the brain and epigenetically- occurs all the time, be it wittingly or unwittingly. Most of the time our brains and bodies are shaped by forces around us that we’re not very aware of, and we can’t really control. The invitation from contemplative science is that we can take responsibility for the shaping of our own brains and bodies, at least to some extent. The extraordinary finding is that when we cultivate healthy habits of mind, our brains and bodies change.”
He's essentially saying that when we learn from doing and practicing, we have the capacity to fundamentally change our brains and bodies. If you needed more proof to do mindful activities, there it is!
Now you’re wondering what the first pillar is, for you to cultivate well-being.
Awareness
What exactly does this mean?
Awareness is the idea that you are fully present in your moment.
We know, again from neuro science research, that the average person is not paying attention to 47% of the tasks they are doing throughout a day. We also know that when our minds are distracted, we are often unhappy. Unfortunately, due to smart phone usage, distractibility is at epic levels, with many people suffering.
There’s another layer to awareness, too. This is called meta-awareness, or knowledge of yourself. Meta-awareness can take on different aspects including: tuning in to what you’re experiencing on a bodily/sensory level, as well as becoming aware of what you’re feeling and thinking. There’s also the ability to tune into the thought you are thinking in any given moment, what you’re mind is actually up to.
Like, for example, you’ve just driven to the store and have no recollection of how you got there because your mind was thinking about your shopping list or politics…
How can you improve your ability to be more aware?
Here’s a great exercise:
PAUSE
I have a friend who says this actual word to herself.
Using the example from above, let’s say you’ve just arrived at the parking lot of the store. Before you jump out, pause.
Feel your hands gripping the steering wheel.
Take a deep breath.
Allow your mind to return to the present moment.
Feel grounded and reconnected to yourself and your surroundings.
Try it and see if it helps.
It’s a wonderful reminder.
In the next blog, we’ll dive into the 2nd pillar of well-being! In the meantime, see if you can cultivate more presence and awareness.
Pause.
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3 Ways to Manage the Rate of Change in the World
Have you experienced the past few months as intense, chaotic, and full of uncertainty?
Yes?
You’re not alone.
Some days feel like a tough slog. Like we’re moving through dense resistance. Which is all the more reason to embrace your spiritual practice and deepen into it.
Many seers have spoken of this time we are in as an amplification, when everything is speeding up and gaining power. This is exactly why you have to choose your own sanity, clarity and peace.
Not only because the chaos is ever growing, but because the benefit of you doing your inner work is amplified during this time. In other words, you can use this time to fast track your liberation.
Have you experienced the past few months as intense, chaotic, and full of uncertainty?
Yes?
You’re not alone.
Some days feel like a tough slog. Like we’re moving through dense resistance. Which is all the more reason to embrace your spiritual practice and deepen into it.
Many seers have spoken of this time we are in as an amplification, when everything is speeding up and gaining power. This is exactly why you have to choose your own sanity, clarity and peace.
Not only because the chaos is ever growing, but because the benefit of you doing your inner work is amplified during this time. In other words, you can use this time to fast track your liberation.
Here are 3 Ways:
1. Be the Eye
Maybe it’s from living in Florida for 16 years, but the imagery I often see is that of a hurricane. The chaos of the world is swirling around and your job is to stand in the eye. The eye is the place of silence, stillness. In Buddhist terms, perhaps this is the place of the silent witness. The one that is untouched by ether, air, fire, or water.
Take a deep breath in. And another. Allow yourself to feel the winds die down around you as you return to silence. To the place where you are in the world but not of the world. To the place of calmness, of timelessness.
2. Remember Your Truth
When we take time to meditate, do yoga or intentional exercise, chant, pray or participate in ritual, we are inviting ourselves to return to the truth of who we are.
And what is that? Peace, Love, Kindness, Generosity, Flow.
More than ever, we are being asked to connect into the light within.
Be intentional right now – create or deepen into a practice where you can connect to this truth every single day.
It will make a world of difference for you and everyone else.
3. Anchor Into What Is Real & Seek Support
More than ever, the world needs your light, your love, peace and grounded-ness. Why? Because in duality, light and dark are always balanced.
It may be easy to feel the darkness, but that isn’t only what’s happening. The light is concentrating, too.
How can you show up and be even more light filled, loving, and present?
What support do you need to do that?
Of course, a personal practice is vital as is community.
What group is calling to you?
How can you feel more genuinely supported by others right now?
When I was a girl, I often heard dreadful stories from my parents and others about the hardships experienced during the depression. Then one day, my nana told me she missed those days. Surprised by her lament, I asked her why and she said, “because everyone helped each other.”
I hear her words echo in my head ever more loudly these days. For it seems that more than ever we need one another. So ask, who can I connect to that will help me feel sustained and supported?
Near or far we can do this for each other. And please know I am only an email away.
Join me in connecting to your light that we may shine brightly today and everyday.
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How to Know What Archetype You Embody
Recently, we explored the big idea in which I asked you what myth are you living. If you’re still ruminating on this, here’s another tool that might help you drill into it: archetypes.
The concept of archetype is something Carl Jung spent a tremendous amount of time exploring and is so rich! Caroline Myss has built on Jung’s work and expounded on how we can access and utilize archetypal energy to better understand ourselves and the world.
Recently, we explored the big idea in which I asked you what myth you are living. If you’re still ruminating on this, here’s another tool that might help you drill into it: archetypes.
The concept of archetype is something Carl Jung spent a tremendous amount of time exploring and is so rich! Caroline Myss has built on Jung’s work and expounded on how we can access and utilize archetypal energy to better understand ourselves and the world.
In fact, shortly after I finished reading her book, Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential, I wrote a blog about archetypes. If this is all new to you, that might be helpful. Access it here.
In this blog, I thought I’d offer a few ways you can tap into the archetypal energy that’s showing up most strongly in your life right now. The one(s) that are asking you to pay attention.
But first let’s define what an archetype is.
According to Webster’s dictionary, an archetype is, “ the original pattern or model of which all things of the same type are representations or copies : prototype.”
Examples of archetypes abound. One simple way to think about them is to imagine the major arcana cards in tarot. Many are archetypes. There is the: hermit, fool, magician, high priestess, empress, emperor, hierophant, lover(s), etc.
Archetypes are also every role you can think of including:
Mother/father
Child- orphaned child, magical child, wounded child…
Warrior
Rebel
Student
Teacher
Which one or ones are showing up in your life right now?
Which are supporting you? Are there any sabotaging you? Who is demanding attention?
See if you can feel into the energy in particular parts of your life. Perhaps you sense the archetype of emperor in your work sphere, or the feeling of judge in your world of relationships. Take a minute to get quiet and allow yourself to tap in. What wants to come to the fore?
Think about these archetypes as messengers as well as allies. They want to support you in feeling more successful and aligned. If you could hear them, what might they say?
How can you more fully embrace each of their energies?
If this feels overwhelming, allow yourself to breathe. Take an energetic step back and simply ask: How can I be most supported right now? What do I need to know?
All of this is designed to offer support. This is another tool to help you feel more aligned and clear. Use what works, leave everything else. There is no competition. We’re all in this together. As Ram Dass reminds us, “to walk each other home.”
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What Myth Are You Living?
A powerful way to help understand where you are on your life path, is to recognize what story or stories are playing out in your life. This is a question/idea that comes from Carl Jung. He famously said:
I was driven to ask myself in all seriousness: “What is the myth you are living?”
I found no answer to this question, and had to admit that I was not living with a myth, or even in a myth, but rather in an uncertain cloud
of theoretical possibilities which I was beginning to regard with increasing distrust.
A powerful way to help understand where you are on your life path is to recognize what story or stories are playing out in your life. This is a question/idea that comes from Carl Jung. He famously said:
I was driven to ask myself in all seriousness: “What is the myth you are living?”
I found no answer to this question, and had to admit that I was not living with a myth, or even in a myth, but rather in an uncertain cloud
of theoretical possibilities which I was beginning to regard with increasing distrust.I did not know that I was living a myth, and even if I had known it, I would not have known what sort of myth was ordering my life without my knowledge.
So, in the most natural way, I took it upon myself to get to know “my” myth, and I regarded this as the task of tasks, for—so I told myself—how
could I, when treating my patients, make due allowance for the personal factor, for my personal equation, which is yet so necessary for a knowledge of the other person, if I was unconscious of it?I simply had to know what unconscious or preconscious myth was forming me, from what rhizome I sprang.
This resolve led me to devote many years of my life to investigating the subjective contents which are the products of unconscious processes, and to work out methods which would enable us, or at any rate help us, to explore the manifestations of the unconscious. ~Carl Jung, CW 5, Pages xxiv-xxv
How about you? What myth are you living?
If your mind just immediately went blank, take heart. You’re not alone.
His question can definitely feel daunting!
Jung’s work at this point in his life, focused on the individual psyche and how he believed it could connect to the collective unconscious, the space where Jung believed this mythological imagery lived. Jung focused on how we as individuals relate to myth or, perhaps, live it out in our lives.
With that orientation in mind, let’s start by defining the word myth.
When you whittle it all down, a myth is really just a story.
It can be tailored and personalized to your specific life and be a “story” you tell yourself, one that you believe is true.
Some of these could be:
The world is fair and just, or conversely, the world is unsafe.
I am affected by the world or conversely, I create my reality.
Money doesn’t grow on trees or money flows to me from seen and unseen sources.
Our brains love stories and it’s often how we contextualize experiences or ideas.
On a more macro/global level, there are myths (think ancient Greece here) that permeate cultures. Stories that we see across the world. Yes, they vary, but are all some form of a basic storyline.
Think for example of: a fairy tale, an epic quest, a journey to awakening, a creation story, one about a trickster or a journey to the underworld and a resurrection. All of these are larger story arcs that play out in fiction AND in our lives.
Personally, I think it can be helpful to unpack both levels of the word myth as outlined above. For arguments sake, let’s refer to them as minor and major, or specific and universal.
When Carl Jung asked himself that question (quote above), he was referring to the latter. To the major story arcs we are consciously and unconsciously attracted to and living in our lives.
One of the stories I attempted to live out earlier in my life was the fairy tale. You know the story arc – looking for, finding and then falling in love and living happily ever after.
Have you tried that one, too?
One way to identify what might be a big story arc in your life right now is to think about it from the end point. In other words:
What is your heart’s greatest desire?
What is the big question you are yearning to answer?
Is it for safety and security?
For adventure?
To arrive at a specific destination?
To obtain a certain skill?
Find some kind of solution?
To be rich, famous, known?
You can use this as a basis for inquiry, as a way to go deeper, and understand what’s at the heart of your motivations.
When you do, not only will it be illuminating, but it can help you step into the truth of yourself with more authenticity. For example, if you’re living a story in search of safety but it isn’t really what you want, then you can shift your myth.
Remember, you are the hero (and the author!!!) of your story. Make sure you’re living the one you really came here to experience!
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Step Confidently into 2025
Happy New Year!
Are you ready for 2025?
It still feels pretty new, which is why it’s helpful to employ some anchoring exercises to support you as you get clear about how you want this year to be for you.
I always start my year by choosing a word or phrase, something to focus on, dive into, and act as a theme or inquiry for the upcoming 365 days.
Some of the ones I’ve chosen in past years include: receive, relax, joy, shine, communion… you get the idea. Once you hit on your word (or phrase), the invitation is to spend the next 12 months deepening into how you can experience it in your life.
Happy New Year!
Are you ready for 2025?
It still feels pretty new, which is why it’s helpful to employ some anchoring exercises to support you as you get clear about how you want this year to be for you.
I always start my year by choosing a word or phrase, something to focus on, dive into, and act as a theme or inquiry for the upcoming 365 days.
Some of the ones I’ve chosen in past years include: receive, relax, joy, shine, communion… you get the idea. Once you hit on your word (or phrase), the invitation is to spend the next 12 months deepening into how you can experience it in your life.
As I write these words, eagles are circling and flying across my view. An omen to zoom out and take a broader look at life. See your life as if from far above.
Is reading this email giving you an idea for a word?
Sometimes one instantly pops into your head. If that’s not the case,
Here are 3 ways to help you tune into your word for 2025.
1. Ask
Allow yourself to take a moment to get quiet. Take a few deep breaths and relax into a more expansive space. Once you’re there, ask:
What is my word (or phrase) for 2025? Is there something specific I would benefit from focusing on?
Here’s a list of some of the words our community has shared with me over the years to give you some suggestions: compassion, bold, trust, faith, love, dream, balance, speak, mindfulness, pause, deliberate...
2. Use A Book
If you’ve done #1 above and nothing has come, you can try this cool trick.
Grab any book off the shelf
Shut your eyes
Think about what energy you’d like to call in for this year
Randomly open the book
See where your eye lands
What does it say?
Did this help?
3. Meditate on It
Once a word comes to you, try it on.
Settle into the energy of that word.
How does it feel?
Is there an opportunity here for your learning and growth?
Is this where or what you feel you would like to explore in 2025?
If the answers feel affirming, you’re on the right track. Don’t be dismayed if you feel a bit scared. That’s often a pre-requisite to change.
Most importantly, have fun with this! This exploration is meant to be joyful and exciting, not another have-to chore.
As always, let me know what you chose!
Wishing you abundant blessings in 2025.
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Stay Present Amidst Uncertainty: My Fave Tool
I love sharing spiritual tools with you with this blog.
Sometimes it's a poem, mantra, prayer, breath exercise, or affirmation. But each technique is one I’ve tried and tested over the decades and is now part of my box of go-tos. The ones I rely on when I need additional support, assistance or help reconnecting to the truth of myself, which is love.
Today I felt called to share one that I return to again and again. It's a breath I was taught by my guru over twenty years ago called the Chittakash, which is the heart space over the head.
I love sharing spiritual tools with you with this blog.
Sometimes it's a poem, mantra, prayer, breath exercise, or affirmation. But each technique is one I’ve tried and tested over the decades and is now part of my box of go-tos. The ones I rely on when I need additional support, assistance or help reconnecting to the truth of myself, which is love.
Today I felt called to share one that I return to again and again. It's a breath I was taught by my guru over twenty years ago called the Chittakash, which is the heart space over the head.
As Ram Dass wrote, “Chittakash is the place where consciousness and love merge, where they become the same thing. It’s where the pure aspects of all qualities come together; a timeless and nameless space where everything is present, where you know everything, but you’re not attached to anything.”
Being in the Chittakash, allows you to remain open hearted yet detached- despite what you may be experiencing. It can offer you a renewed sense of peace and tranquility, regardless of the chaos surrounding you.
It’s really pretty magical in that regard.
The amazing thing about using this breath is that it allows you to be fully present, clear and compassionate while also feeling curiously insulated. Interestingly, it’s not a feeling of being numb or dissociated, but rather a reconnection to a state of grace and flow.
Wanna try it?
If there’s only ONE breath you learn this life, choose this one. It really is that powerful.
Know that you are always divinely protected.
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Listen More Deeply & Compassionately - 3 Steps
The other day I saw this quote by Stephen Covey:
“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”
I’ve always considered myself a good listener, how about you?
I enjoy paying attention to what others say, but it’s definitely a different kind of listening when we truly want to understand what someone else is saying!
And despite thinking I was good at this particular skill, I got a whole new perspective a few years ago when I received training from a facilitator who was part of the Compassionate Listening Project
The other day I saw this quote by Stephen Covey:
“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.”
I’ve always considered myself a good listener, how about you?
I enjoy paying attention to what others say, but it’s definitely a different kind of listening when we truly want to understand what someone else is saying!
And despite thinking I was good at this particular skill, I got a whole new perspective a few years ago when I received training from a facilitator who was part of the Compassionate Listening Project. Learn more about them here.
What I appreciate the most about learning and utilizing this technique is that it helps me listen more objectively, as opposed to listening to help, problem solve or even respond!
Interested?
At the core of the program, are 3 basic steps.
You can use these with anyone at any time.
Even if you think you’re a good listener, you might find these simple steps illuminating!
Step 1 – Listen for Facts
Here’s the idea: when someone’s talking to you, pay attention to the nuggets or details of what they’re saying.
Perhaps- as an example- your friend just returned from a holiday and is telling you about where they stayed in France.
What you’re doing in this step is confirming what you heard. You want to make sure you’re correct. You do this by repeating some of the facts your friend shared back to them.
So, a response might be, “you went to the south of France!”
Interestingly, when we do this as listeners, it acts as confirmation to the speaker that we're tracking, and they excitedly share more.
Here’s another example: perhaps your granddaughter comes to you and says, “my brother stole my book!”
You could reply, “he stole your book?”
Again, you’re confirming the facts of what the speaker is saying.
Step 2 – Listen for Feelings
While you’re listening for facts, you can also pay attention to how you think the speaker is feeling about what they’re sharing with you.
So, again, with the first example. You could say something like: “sounds like you had fun in France.”
Or with the second example, “and you’re upset that your brother took your book."
This step does two things. It confirms what you suspect the speaker is feeling – because you might be wrong! And it helps offer clarity to the speaker.
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment as a person shares out loud, they might not know what they’re feeling. By having it echoed back, it can offer insight.
As you see, each of these last 2 steps are about confirming information, making sure you are correctly hearing what the speaker wants to share, what transpired, and how they experienced it.
What we’re doing is cultivating a quality of what the Compassionate Listening Project calls the Fair Witness. This is when you allow yourself to enter into a state of mind in which you feel more neutral or objective about what the person is sharing.
Here’s how one of their facilitators describes this:
“the Fair Witness is actually not a person, but rather a perspective: stepping outside oneself and observing from a “bird’s eye view” during an intense interaction, with the ability to stay centered “in the fire” of intensity and strong emotion. It’s as though the Fair Witness observes a situation “from a balcony” in a theatre." (This quote is from a blog, access it here.)
Step 3 – Ask Deepening Questions
Once you’re confident that you have a grasp on the facts of the story the speaker is sharing with you, and how they are feeling about it, you can ask deepening questions.
The idea with this step is to ask what or how questions to get the person thinking more/analyzing what they’re sharing. Additionally, these questions can provide a more well-rounded and complete picture.
Again, from our first example, you could ask – “you mentioned it was hot in France. How did that impact your trip?"
Or with the granddaughter, a deepening question might be: “what would you like to do about it?”
I share these steps with you, because I have found them so helpful.
Why not play around with them?
Maybe do one step at a time and see how it feels, see what happens.
I know they might sound simple and kinda boring, especially to listen for facts. But what I’ve discovered in doing this, is that the speaker gets really animated and excited.
Even when I’ve been the speaker and people have responded to me this way, it was energizing! I never felt like it was redundant, but rather confirming.
Liked what you read?
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Prayer for Peace
Some days it feels hard not to succumb to strife – be it internal or external.
Particularly when there feels like there’s so much churning taking place. Whether it’s within your own being, with your family/friends, society or planetary, it’s hard not to get sucked into it.
Especially as a sensitive person.
Some days it feels hard not to succumb to strife – be it internal or external.
Particularly when there feels like there’s so much churning taking place. Whether it’s within your own being, with your family/friends, society or planetary, it’s hard not to get sucked into it.
Especially as a sensitive person.
When that happens, it’s difficult to maintain equilibrium.
Which is why I developed a mantra/breath. I’ve been incorporating it my mediation practice lately.
It’s been helping me stay grounded, feel more peaceful, clear and calm.
I’ve written it up so you can use it, too.
Why not give it a try and see if it helps?
Feel free to change any of the words so it resonates more fully with you.
Let me know how it goes!
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3 Ways to Claim Your Full Authority
The other day, one of my daughter’s said to me, “no one was going to save me. I have to save myself.”
I nearly fell off my chair.
Why?
Because she’s 24-years-old!
I don’t even want to think how long it took me to understand that idea!
Instead, for SUCH a long time, I was hooked on the fairy tale of being rescued. Think about it, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel… ugh.
As I began to awaken to the truth of who I am, I began to see that, just as my daughter reminded me, the only one who was going to save me was ME.
At first, it felt like a big blow. Ouch. I was upset. My paradigm was getting busted.
The other day, one of my daughter’s said to me, “no one is going to save me. I have to save myself.”
I nearly fell off my chair.
Why?
Because she’s 24-years-old!
I don’t even want to think how long it took me to understand that idea!
Instead, for SUCH a long time, I was hooked on the fairy tale of being rescued. Think about it, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel… ugh.
As I began to awaken to the truth of who I am, I began to see that, just as my daughter reminded me, the only one who was going to save me was ME.
At first, it felt like a big blow. Ouch. I was upset. My paradigm was getting busted.
But then, as I allowed this idea that someone was going to save me to fall away, I quickly began to feel the power of claiming full ownership of myself. Knowing that I was completely responsible for EVERY part of my life.
Here’s how I broke it down.
Forget about the knight in shining armor.
When I first began my love affair with Govinda (my husband), he often joked that I was his knight in shining armor come to rescue him. Naturally, I saw myself as a Lady Godiva-type figure (this is a fantasy after all!) whisking him away on my mighty steed.
But in truth, it was always a joke. He said that because he was cloistered on a celibate ashram in a tiny town, and then I showed up…
In truth, I didn’t do anything. My presence was a catalyst. It helped him to see what was missing in his life and what needed to change. He was the one who did all the work.
And what is that work?
The decision that you are responsible for everything in your life. Everything single thing. It can feel unreasonable, heavy, or burdensome, but once you really accept this truth, it’s actually transformational.
Why?
Because you have 100% empowered yourself.
Here are the 3 parts to it:
1. Responsible for your Thoughts
As Louise Hay reminds us, “you are the only one thinking inside of your mind.”
Take those words in for a moment.
This means that every single thought you have, you control.
What if you really did it?
How different would that experience be for you?
And if you have a thought you don’t like, you can change it!
We know from Mike Dooley that thoughts are things, they have power.
Choose wisely.
2. Responsible for your Words
Whenever I think about this, the small book, The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz comes to mind. One of the tenets is: Be impeccable with your word.
He tells us: “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
3. Responsible for your Actions
This feels like the most obvious one. The one we learned when we were little, yea? That actions have consequences.
I think about action as a bi-product of thought, and sometimes of words. We have an idea, perhaps we speak it out loud, and then we act on it.
Can you see that progression inside yourself?
It’s rare that action comes without thought, right?
Another way to think about this notion, is to take full responsibility for your body. It is, after all, through your physical body that you act.
Being responsible for your body and your physical health, can feel like a radical idea. Essentially, it means you are not a victim of your body, nor is someone else an expert on it.
Is there some way you can more fully claim authority over your body?
What might that look and feel like?
You may have resistance to doing this, but I encourage you to try. Again, it is the opposite of what you think. You will actually feel more empowered.
Think about taking full responsibility of yourself as a goal you want to attain. Some days are easier than others, but if you’re willing to make the decision that you can save yourself, it will get easier and easier to claim that authority and feel empowered.
You have nothing to lose.
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Get Connected & Feel Better - Part IV
For our final blog in this series offering tools to support you when you feel anxious, uncertain or dread, we’re focusing on community.
Firstly, what does community mean to you?
Take a moment and really think about it. What might in include:
Family
Friends
Church/temple
Walking Group
Whatever community means to you, here are 4 ways to deepen those connections.
For our final blog in this series offering tools to support you when you feel anxious, uncertain or dread, we’re focusing on community.
Firstly, what does community mean to you?
Take a moment and really think about it. What might in include:
Family
Friends
Church/temple
Walking Group
Whatever community means to you, here are 4 ways to deepen those connections.
1. Social Support
Research reminds us that good health, happiness, and longevity are all significantly improved when we have deep interpersonal relationships.
How are you nurturing those?
Is there someone in your life you would like to connect to even more?
2. Service
Being of service to others in some capacity, also yields incredible results when it comes to our mental well being. Again, research supports this.
People are less depressed, feel more engaged and connected, and can even attain a bliss-like state from helping or caring for others.
Think about someone or, perhaps an organization, where you could share of your time and talents.
What might that look like?
What do you enjoy doing?
3. Action
You know the saying: “If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem.”
Typically, anxiety is caused by fear of something negative happening in the future.
Can you identify what that is?
Perhaps it’s personal, political, environmental, existential, or all of the above!
Whatever it is, how can you be part of lessening the pain or making it better?
What action can you take?
Because here’s the secret: action is the antidote to fear.
Here are some ideas: pray, protest, donate, write a letter to an editor, boycott… and no doubt, you have twenty more. Pick one.
4. Social Justice
The world we inhabit is a reflection of what we think and believe.
As you know, I have a strong connection to the goddess Tara, who is considered a bodhisattva, a being who has returned in form to liberate everyone from suffering.
Social justice is an outpouring of this. It is truly love in action. If we are all one, then anyone who is suffering is me, or you.
Again, what can you do to support social justice?
Sometimes the plight of the world can feel overwhelming. One way I get unstuck is to remind myself of something an oyster farmer said to me years ago. “I take care of my part of the ocean.”
Look around your community. What could you participate in to help it feel more just and equitable?
This concludes our 4-part series on managing uncertainty, anxiety and dread.
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