You know that expression, “wherever you go, there you are.”?
I was thinking about that the other morning.
If you’re like me, you want to world to be a better place, more loving, peaceful, sane.
But what if the real way to succeed at changing the world isn’t by going out and tangibly changing the politics, or environment but is all about changing yourself? In other words, changing your mind about the world.
This is what I think the above quote actually means.
Boundaries often get a bad rap, as if they’re not a good thing, as if they prevent us from genuine connection.
Is that really true?
First off, let’s define what we’re really talking about.
A boundary can be physical like a fence or a wall, even your skin is a natural physical boundary.
Boundaries can also be set by social or cultural standards. For example, in Japan, people greet one another with a bow, rather than in the United States where we often shake hands or hug.
Boundaries – in terms of dictating behavior- also differ in public versus private spaces, and vary depending on the types of relationship you have with someone.
When you were a child, did you have an imaginary friend? Someone you held tea parties with, read to in bed, played hide and seek with, or blamed for the mess in your room?
According to WebMD, around 65% of children under the age of seven have them, so if you did, you’re in the majority!
Naturally, there are social and emotional reasons that children have imaginary friends. It’s good company. It’s also a way to try out new social behaviors, or process feelings. An imaginary friend can offer support, too. After all, it’s YOUR special friend, someone who loves you, won’t leave, and doesn’t judge.
February is the month for lovers, for love, for reminding us of what our hearts yearn for.
Are you like me? Have you always been a romantic, from the time you were little?
I completely bought into the fantasy. You know it, right? Get rescued from your unhappy situation when you meet the love of your dreams, and live happily ever after.
As part this, I was HOOKED on the idea of falling in love even though I had NO idea of what love actually was.
I harbored this romantic dream for years.
Last year my daughter turned me onto this idea that there is a Major Arcana Tarot card that informs the overarching energy of the year.
One way to think about this is as the TONE for the year on a global scale, reflecting the energy that might be arising.
It’s actually quite simple to learn which tarot card it is for the year. Simply add the numbers of the year together. So, for this year it would be: 2+0+2+4=8
The Card that correlates with the number 8 is STRENGTH.
Immediately that feels heartening, don’t you think? As if it is inviting us to call on our own inner strength, knowing that it’s there for us always. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to cultivate strength even more since we may need this quality as 2024 unfolds.
You know that expression, “wherever you go, there you are.”?
I was thinking about that the other morning.
If you’re like me, you want to world to be a better place, more loving, peaceful, sane.
But what if the real way to succeed at changing the world isn’t by going out and tangibly changing the politics, or environment but is all about changing yourself? In other words, changing your mind about the world.
This is what I think the above quote actually means.
Boundaries often get a bad rap, as if they’re not a good thing, as if they prevent us from genuine connection.
Is that really true?
First off, let’s define what we’re really talking about.
A boundary can be physical like a fence or a wall, even your skin is a natural physical boundary.
Boundaries can also be set by social or cultural standards. For example, in Japan, people greet one another with a bow, rather than in the United States where we often shake hands or hug.
Boundaries – in terms of dictating behavior- also differ in public versus private spaces, and vary depending on the types of relationship you have with someone.
When you were a child, did you have an imaginary friend? Someone you held tea parties with, read to in bed, played hide and seek with, or blamed for the mess in your room?
According to WebMD, around 65% of children under the age of seven have them, so if you did, you’re in the majority!
Naturally, there are social and emotional reasons that children have imaginary friends. It’s good company. It’s also a way to try out new social behaviors, or process feelings. An imaginary friend can offer support, too. After all, it’s YOUR special friend, someone who loves you, won’t leave, and doesn’t judge.
February is the month for lovers, for love, for reminding us of what our hearts yearn for.
Are you like me? Have you always been a romantic, from the time you were little?
I completely bought into the fantasy. You know it, right? Get rescued from your unhappy situation when you meet the love of your dreams, and live happily ever after.
As part this, I was HOOKED on the idea of falling in love even though I had NO idea of what love actually was.
I harbored this romantic dream for years.
Last year my daughter turned me onto this idea that there is a Major Arcana Tarot card that informs the overarching energy of the year.
One way to think about this is as the TONE for the year on a global scale, reflecting the energy that might be arising.
It’s actually quite simple to learn which tarot card it is for the year. Simply add the numbers of the year together. So, for this year it would be: 2+0+2+4=8
The Card that correlates with the number 8 is STRENGTH.
Immediately that feels heartening, don’t you think? As if it is inviting us to call on our own inner strength, knowing that it’s there for us always. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to cultivate strength even more since we may need this quality as 2024 unfolds.
Now that you’ve landed on a word to be your guidepost for the year, it’s time to REALLY vision into how you want 2024 to unfold.
We can choose to be intentional AND allow the universe to support and provide us with mystery, too.
My all time favorite tool for doing this is to create a vision board. It’s such a great way to launch the year with intention, guidance and inquiry.
Lately, I’ve been ruminating on compassion., and this idea: What if demonstrating compassion is our way of embodying God (which I define as love) on earth?
The Christian scholar and theologian, Matthew Fox says, “compassion is, of course, a kind of passion. A caring, a feeling of the suffering of others—and acting to relieve that suffering. It is the opposite of a cold heart. Compassion is also the work of the Holy Spirit.”
Fox goes on to remind us that Meister Eckhart insisted that, “the first outburst of whatever God does is always compassion.”
I recently wrote to a friend and shared this story with them.
Last year I was feeling frustrated. I was working hard but not seeing the kind of rewards I was expecting.
You know that feeling, don’t you? When you put everything into a project only to see it flounder, or not yield the results you were expecting?
By December, I was in a right mood about it. And, honestly, pretty irate with God. Because years earlier, in 2015 in fact, I’d received a very clear and loud message that said, “you can have everything, you know.”
In the years since, I’d been working with that idea, opening up to receiving everything.
Only last year, it felt like I had hit a wall. Why was I not feeling like I had everything? Why wasn’t I creating exactly what I wanted?
Still ruminating over the 5 biggest regrets dying people have?
Good!
Now let’s focus on how to release regret. Because, let’s face it, we all have them. The trick is to not allow them to keep you stuck in the past.
If you’re ready to move forward and heal, here’s what writer and life coach, Martha Beck has to share.
Bad sh*t happens to everyone. The question is, how do you remember it? Are you holding onto it, wishing it hadn’t happened? Are you angry or sad about it?
Beck describes this as, “unproductive regret,” a way to avoid taking action and moving forward
Working as a hospice social work intern, I often sat with people who were actively dying and talked about their lives, what brought them joy, and what they were afraid of.
So, what hospice nurse, Bronnie Ware , had to say in her 2019 book, Top 5 Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing wasn’t a big surprise.
Can you guess what the #1 regret waas?
In other words, not following your dreams.
Take a moment and ask yourself, will this be one of your regrets?
The fall always feels like a reflective time, with trees changing colors, and the weather cooling…
Autumn is also a time of powerful celebrations across the globe. From Durga Puja in India, to the autumnal equinox, to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, two of the holiest celebrations in Judaism.
Which makes me think of a Jewish teaching known as Tikkun olam, that we humans are here to help make the world a better place. Or, in another sense, to leave the world better than we found it.
Have you had this experience? You read the newspaper or go online, and suddenly feel overwhelmed by the suffering and pain in the world?
Being a sensitive person, that can feel overwhelming.
In 2019, I was in the Tigray region of Ethiopia shortly before what would become a civil war. Everywhere I went, I could feel the pain, the anger, frustration, tension. At times, it felt crippling. Because I could sense this pain but also felt helpless to solve it.
After sharing this experience with one of my teachers, the guidance I received was this. “You don’t have to fix the world, your job is to love the world.”
Since 2019, I’ve been working on understanding exactly what that means and how to do it.
For me, that process has involved: acceptance, forgiveness, prayer, and envisioning.
Did you know there’s neuroscience research on AWE?
One of the leaders, Dr Dacher Keltner, recently published a book called, Awe: The New Science of Every Day Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life.
He describes awe as: “the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your understanding of the world.”
Being a social scientist, he’s interested in emotion and actually studies how the sensation of awe affects our biology! Not only does it calm your nervous system, it also activates the body to make oxytocin, the love hormone!
When I was in social work school, we heard a lot about resilience, like it was this magic ingredient for success. We weren’t exactly sure why some people had it, but it was clear that those who did were able to much more easily weather adversity and life challenges.
In truth, I don’t think resilience is actually elusive.
We’re all resilient, otherwise we wouldn’t be here! Because life can be difficult and we keep going.
The question really is, how do we strengthen the muscle of resilience?
