The other day, one of my daughter’s said to me, “no one is going to save me. I have to save myself.”
I nearly fell off my chair.
Why?
Because she’s 24-years-old!
I don’t even want to think how long it took me to understand that idea!
Instead, for SUCH a long time, I was hooked on the fairy tale of being rescued. Think about it, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel… ugh.
As I began to awaken to the truth of who I am, I began to see that, just as my daughter reminded me, the only one who was going to save me was ME.
At first, it felt like a big blow. Ouch. I was upset. My paradigm was getting busted.
But then, as I allowed this idea that someone was going to save me to fall away, I quickly began to feel the power of claiming full ownership of myself. Knowing that I was completely responsible for EVERY part of my life.
Here’s how I broke it down.
Forget about the knight in shining armor.
When I first began my love affair with Govinda (my husband), he often joked that I was his knight in shining armor come to rescue him. Naturally, I saw myself as a Lady Godiva-type figure (this is a fantasy after all!) whisking him away on my mighty steed.
But in truth, it was always a joke. He said that because he was cloistered on a celibate ashram in a tiny town, and then I showed up…
In truth, I didn’t do anything. My presence was a catalyst. It helped him to see what was missing in his life and what needed to change. He was the one who did all the work.
And what is that work?
The decision that you are responsible for everything in your life. Everything single thing. It can feel unreasonable, heavy, or burdensome, but once you really accept this truth, it’s actually transformational.
Why?
Because you have 100% empowered yourself.
Here are the 3 parts to it:
1. Responsible for your Thoughts
As Louise Hay reminds us, “you are the only one thinking inside of your mind.”
Take those words in for a moment.
This means that every single thought you have, you control.
What if you really did it?
How different would that experience be for you?
And if you have a thought you don’t like, you can change it!
We know from Mike Dooley that thoughts are things, they have power.
Choose wisely.
2. Responsible for your Words
Whenever I think about this, the small book, The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz comes to mind. One of the tenets is: Be impeccable with your word.
He tells us: “Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”
3. Responsible for your Actions
This feels like the most obvious one. The one we learned when we were little, yea? That actions have consequences.
I think about action as a bi-product of thought, and sometimes of words. We have an idea, perhaps we speak it out loud, and then we act on it.
Can you see that progression inside yourself?
It’s rare that action comes without thought, right?
Another way to think about this notion, is to take full responsibility for your body. It is, after all, through your physical body that you act.
Being responsible for your body and your physical health, can feel like a radical idea. Essentially, it means you are not a victim of your body, nor is someone else an expert on it.
Is there some way you can more fully claim authority over your body?
What might that look and feel like?
You may have resistance to doing this, but I encourage you to try. Again, it is the opposite of what you think. You will actually feel more empowered.
Think about taking full responsibility of yourself as a goal you want to attain. Some days are easier than others, but if you’re willing to make the decision that you can save yourself, it will get easier and easier to claim that authority and feel empowered.
You have nothing to lose.
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