Be Kind

In today’s bully infested world, kindness is seen as weakness.

You and I both know that simply isn't true.

AND

Who wants to live in a world where we pull each other down and make each other wrong? 

Instead, let's support one another, help us reach up and become our higher selves.

Which is why I'm making a stand for kindness.

Think about it.

How do you feel when you’re mean or cruel to someone?

Now think about how you feel when you’re kind.

Like fear, kindness is contagious.

It can shower the world like water quenching a wild fire.

And, it really is easy.

It starts with a smile.

A caring word to a stranger.

A “thank you.”

That feeling of gratitude in your heart.

Doing something because.

Handing a stranger a tissue.

Holding the door open.

Waving at a car.

Kindness is like a secret weapon. Not only does it impact the receiver, it impacts the giver too.

So today, I have 2 special kindness offerings.

The first is access to a meditation guiding you through the Metta Bhavana, a Buddhist phrase and practice that means loving kindness.

This is a specific Buddhist prayer to help you foster loving kindness. The idea is to cultivate this feeling within your self and then express it to all sentient beings.

The guided meditation follows the steps as I learned them:

1. Focus on yourself. Feel love, compassion and caring for YOU.

2. Now imagine a loved one standing in front of you. Shower this person with that same love, light and healing.

3. Thirdly, envision in front of you a person with whom you have no relationship – think about your postal worker, a shopkeeper or bus driver. Send this same love and healing light to this person.

4. The next person to come before you is someone with whom you have a conflict or issue. Imagine that person standing directly in front of you. See him or her surrounded by love, healing, kindness and light.

5. Lastly, send this beautiful energy out to blanket the entire world.

You can download the meditation here OR listen to it on Insight Timer.

Practicing the Metta Bhavana will help you create and stay in a place of kindness throughout your day. It's a powerful prayer and practice. Every time I do it, it profoundly alters my day.

And as a special bonus, I’ve added a poem for you called Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye. I heard it over the weekend and learned that it has provided much solace to people over the years. Here is a beautiful link to it, enjoy.

Join me is fostering living kindness within your own being. Both yourself and the world will be grateful.

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Live a Passion Filled Life In 3 Simple Steps

Have you ever met someone and been truly inspired?

That happened to me with my first yoga teacher, Jayanta. His classes immersed us in bhakti or devotion. With every pose that we did, it wasn't about sweating or getting a work out, it was prayer in motion.

It was an act of connecting to the divine and expressing that love through movement.

Recently we reconnected and it inspired me to remember to infuse life with love and embrace prayer in action.

Because everything we do – from brushing our teeth, to mowing the lawn, to making a phone call - is an opportunity to share the love of God and to celebrate being alive.

Each person is an incarnation of the beloved. God is in all of us, shining forth. So as you go about your day, see if you can embrace this essence of prayer-filled living.

It’s simple and requires only 3 things:

1. Awareness

Awareness is the choice to be present in all things.

I once had a friend who told me to be proud of whatever job you have, do it with gusto and put in 100% effort. He said, “even if I was a garbage man, I’d do it to the best of my ability.”

I’ve never forgotten his words. He was suggesting to be fully present and aware in everything you do. Do it with pride, care and diligence.

When you choose this attitude, you feel alive, capable, satisfied and attuned to life in a deep and fulfilling way.

2. Practice Gratitude

When I have thanks in the moment for my life, my entire chest expands. I feel spacious, full, rich, content.

Try it right now.

Look around you and think of 3 things you’re grateful for in your life. Inhale that feeling. Don’t you feel bigger and more expansive?

All the research tells us that gratitude is THE fastest way to experience happiness. Gratitude is also an excellent way to feel alive, present and to view the world through the eyes of love.

A wonderful short video to help you experience gratitude was done by Louie Shwartzberg. He uses his exquisite time-lapse nature photography while you listen to Brother David Steindl-Rast , a Benedictine monk, describe exactly what gratitude is. This film is one of my most favorite TedTalks. Check it out here

3. Foster Empathy

Empathy is compassion, or caring about others because you have either experienced a similar pain or can put yourself in that person’s shoes.

An excellent example of empathy at work is Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12-step program. People who are active alcoholics go there for help and support. They are not judged – often for the first times in their lives. Instead, they are embraced and supported by other recovering addicts who know exactly what it feels like to walk into that room, wanting to stop but are scared to death.

We know from studies that it is low and medium income people who are often the most generous donors to charities which may be surprising when you think their incomes aren’t as high as say, a hedge fund manager.

Yet, there have been times in my life when I was one pay check away from homelessness. We can relate, we have empathy.

Infuse this day and every day with the power of love. Allow grace to wash over you and through you as you meet this moment with compassion, awareness, and gratitude.

Life feels so much more fulfilling, rich and satisfying when we choose to see everything as love, as God, as one.

See if you can be the beloved and infuse your life with that love.

Let me know what YOU think! leave a comment below.

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5 Secrets Successful People Know

Have you ever asked yourself what success really means to you?

Look around. People hurry and rush, busy chasing someone else’s definition of success – be it a parent, society, or cultural expectation.

Isn't it time to define success for yourself?

Take a minute, well okay, maybe 20, and dive in.

Ask yourself:

1. What does success look like?

Is it a big house? A fancy car?

Is it your own business?

Is it lots of money in the bank, thousands of Twitter followers or being on Oprah?

Most people have the idea that lots of money = success.

But what if earning that big bank account meant you worked 15 hours a day and always felt stressed out and tired? What if it meant you had to rip people off or be dishonest?

Is that the life you really want?

Make a list or envision what success looks like to you.

When I started this inquiry, I realized that for me success meant freedom: the freedom to do what I love AND love what I do. The freedom to have my own schedule and be my own boss. The freedom to decide every day what I was going to do!

2. How does success feel?

This is critical. Because a genuine definition of success isn’t just about what you want, it’s about how you experience every day of your life.

Do you want to just survive, go through the motions, live for the weekend? Or do you want to really thrive and feel genuinely excited, fulfilled, rewarded and passionate?

I see many clients who strive to please someone else, to earn someone’s love or to feel respected.

But all of these are external drivers.

What if you could be loved, accepted and appreciated no matter what?

Would that change what you were doing right now?

Would you stop working your corporate job and instead start a non-profit to help animals?

Write down exactly how success feels to you.

For me, it's about being excited and passionate about what I do so I orient myself towards joy. Then I ask, what fuels my creativity and energizes me? What makes me happy?

My answer is simple. It’s sharing and giving – helping others, writing (about things I’ve learned, a-has I’ve had), and in being visually creative.

3. How do you want your life to be?

Lately, as I start my morning run, overlooking the Puget Sound, the sun on my face, I think, “it doesn’t get better than this.”

Vision your life.

Are you surrounded by loving friends and family?

Are you alone in a large mansion?

Are you active and engaged in service to others or for a cause that feels meaningful?

See yourself not only in a “work” environment but holistically.

Where are you living and with whom? Do you have time to exercise, meditate, play? Are there ample funds and time for health and holidays?

4. Take Action

Now that you've defined exactly what success is, what it looks like and feels like, it’s time to jump in.

What’s the first thing you can do to move closer to having that experience of success in your life right now?

List three actions you can take this week.

Do this EVERY week, maybe even every day!

5. Persevere

Changing habits and re-aligning yourself to your new definition of success takes time and patience.

But now that you’re clear about where you want to go, and have actions to help get you there, you only need to keep going.

Simply remember Dory’s little song from Finding Nemo. “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.” And before you know it, your life will feel full, rich, rewarding and successful!

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How To Be Fully Present

Have you ever wanted your moment – whatever was happening to be different?

When that occurs, how do you feel? Frustrated? Annoyed? Aggravated? Whatever the emotion, it’s a form of suffering.

For the past week, I’ve been exploring this idea – of wanting my moment to be other than it is - on a microcosmic level because I’ve been sick. And I was pissed about it.

I did not want to be sick.

Instead, I wanted to jump back into work, hang out with my family, enjoy the emerging days and flowers of spring. But I couldn’t.

As I saw it, I had two choices. I could fight my illness, pretend I wasn’t sick and work while I felt terrible. Or I could surrender.

Surrender isn’t giving up.

It’s accepting what is.

It’s letting go of wanting the moment to be different.

So I surrendered to being sick. To not being able to enjoy the first sunny day we’d had in a week, to feeling like a bad mom because I couldn’t take my daughter shopping like I’d promised, to feeling frightened for our future as I watch our president potentially start a nuclear was with North Korea.

Surrendering isn’t giving up, it’s accepting what is.

As I explored this idea, I also realized that suffering is when we want the moment to be different that what it actually is.

You want to get to the meeting on time and instead are stuck in traffic so you feel... You regret the way you spoke to your significant other and it burns in your belly. You’re excited about all you’re gonna get done this week and then land in bed with an awful head cold. Well, no, that wasn’t you, that was me.

Just because I accept it and surrender to what is, it doesn’t mean I have to like it. And it doesn’t mean I can’t be pro-active.

But the reality is that sometimes life has other plans for us. We can fight them or we can allow them to happen.

I can’t see the larger picture. Maybe there is a reason that I had to lie in bed for a week. Maybe there’s a reason that our country has to experience polarization and pain. I don’t know.

But I can accept that it is what it is.

And then I can act.

I can take care of myself with vitamins, supplements, support and I can stay involved politically.

None of it works without a level of acceptance.

In a technique I use with my clients called, NET (neuro emotional technique), we often talk about being okay with something. “I’m okay having breast cancer. I’m okay that my father died. I’m okay with the current political situation.”

Being okay doesn’t imply preference.

Obviously no one wants cancer. The idea behind the “okay” statement it is to neutralize any emotions you have around the issue so it doesn’t cause you stress. So you can move forward without so much emotional baggage attached to it.

Surrendering is exactly that – it’s being okay with whatever life throws at you. Releasing the frustration, irritation, annoyance and getting on with life just as it is.

So what do you say? Are you ready to let go?

Share your thoughts with me, below the blog. I'd love to hear them!

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Ready to Speak Your Truth? 4 Reasons Why It’s Time

Today more than ever it seems like we’re struggling with this idea of truth. We’re being bombarded with talk about real news, fake news, and it begs the question, what is truth?

Truth is fact, truth is honesty, and in personal life, truth is the willingness to put what you say and believe on the line.

Are you motivated to be more truthful with your loved ones?

Here are 4 reasons why it’s time for you to speak your truth.

1. Take Your Power

As women it can be hard to stand in your power. Many of us were trained to be gentle peacekeepers. And oftentimes when women do stand up, they’re branded as “bitches.”

Of course there’s another way – to bring the heart of compassion into what we say. Think about your chakras. The chakra of power is in your belly, as you move up, the next one is at your heart center, and then your 5th chakra is your throat.

The goal is to speak your truth – moving that idea or power up from the belly – through the heart and out the throat.

There’s a world of difference between someone communicating from this space as opposed to bypassing the heart and speaking truth from a place of power.

Think about people you’ve heard talk – politicians, motivational speakers, reporters. When you listen to those voices, what do you hear? Clarity and compassion or harsh aggressive, bombastic truth?

2. Be in Integrity

When we are true to ourselves, we are in integrity.

What is integrity?

One definition, according to the American Heritage Dictionary is, “the quality or condition of being whole.”

I think about integrity as alignment. I want my actions and my words to align with my thoughts and beliefs as much as I am able to do that.

So when we choke back words or don’t speak authentically, we fall out of integrity.

How can you say the words that need to be said today?

3. Forgive

Speaking your truth allows you to forgive and I believe that forgiveness is one of our primary functions on earth.

Forgiveness is an act of release – both for you and the “other.”

When we speak to someone about what we really think, how we genuinely feel, we are opening a door through which true conversation, healing and love can occur.

This is the power of forgiveness.

4. Help Others

Are you one of those people who has the ability to see exactly what’s happening? As if you can cut through to the core of something and genuinely understand an issue?

Whether it’s a business challenge or a personal one, you sense which way to go or how it should be navigated – for the right outcome.

But then, you don’t say anything.

Maybe you stay quiet because you feel like it isn’t your place to share. Or perhaps you think it’s presumptive to offer your opinion. Maybe you don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings.

But here’s the thing, by not speaking up, you are denying that person your authentic voice, your clarity, your insight.

Think back to when a friend spoke truth to you. Maybe in the moment it wasn’t fun or you didn’t like it, but did it help? Did those words prompt action from you?

I remember the first time I got advice like this as a young adult. I was living in Hong Kong and had finally quit a job I really hated. In all honesty, I just wanted to run away from everything – the city, my failed existence, even myself.

One day I was picnicking with my best friend. We’d traveled to an outlying island and hiked up a canyon following a trickle of a waterfall. From there, we could see across the harbor to Hong Kong island with its towering skyscrapers. She turned to me and said; “What are you going to do now?”

I replied, “I don’t know, anything, as long as it isn’t here.”

Then she asked; “Where are you going to go?”

And I answered, “anywhere as long as it isn’t here.”

She looked me straight in the eye and said, “you have to make your happiness here.”

Immediately I wanted to tell her to f**k off but I also knew she was absolutely right.

What did I do?

I did what she suggested. I stayed, made peace with the city and my life, and grew up.

I still remember her honest words nearly thirty years later, that’s the impact they had. What if she’d been afraid to speak? It would have been a huge disservice to me.

Hard conversations are hard but they're also important.

Whether they are with loved ones or colleagues, speak your truth. Say what you feel, what you need and what you see. All of us need feedback even when we don’t want to hear it. But that feedback when given with love, kindness and compassion can be invaluable and life changing.

Let me know how it goes! Leave your truth below!

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Super Bowl Insight To Achieve Your Dreams

I was never much of a football fan. I've always preferred art galleries and concerts.

In college I used to give my boyfriend a hard time for watching his beloved Bengals until one afternoon he said to me, “you don’t like football because you don’t even know what you’re looking at.”

Well, that got my attention.

Life then took me to Asia and I lost the little knowledge I had of football until recently.

I am now married to a Patriot fan. And let me tell you, I’ve learned a whole lot about football.

And so it was that he and I were sitting on the couch this past Sunday afternoon, knowing we were about to watch a tough game.

We’d seen the Falcons mow down the Green Bay Packers to clinch the NFC championship. Not only were the Falcons strong and disciplined, they had All Star players. And the Patriots?

Well, they’re the Patriots.

As the Falcons kept putting points on the board during the first half, I started to wonder how on earth the Patriots were gonna win. Nevertheless, I was still hopeful by halftime until the Falcons shut the Pats down and then scored. Now it was 28-3.

But here was the thing, the Patriots never stopped. So often in football, it seems like one team is spent and they quit trying. Not on Sunday night.

Days later, I’m still in shock that the Patriots pulled off the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history. My husband and I have watched the replays three times and I keep scratching my head. How the hell did they do it?

As I watched the plays, I kept having this nagging feeling that there was a life lesson in here for me, which slowly began to coalesce.

Here’s what I realized:

1.  Failure was Never an Option

It seemed that no matter how far the Patriots were down, it didn’t matter.

The only way to not succumb to failure thinking is mindset – the belief that you can – no matter what.

That means ignoring the negative thoughts in your head as well as being deaf to the naysayers around you. This is mind training at its very best and is 100% an inside job.

2.  Perseverance

Perseverance is defined as “steady persistence in adhering to a course of action.” In other words, it’s when you keep trying even in the face of imminent failure. And 28-9 to start the 4th quarter sure seemed like imminent failure.

But perseverance is exactly what happened.

There was no giving up. The players had to be exhausted. Frustrated. Injured. But this Patriot team persevered. They played intense and hard – as did the Falcons. They stayed on course to the very last second.

3.  Indomitable Spirit

In Tae Kwon Do, indomitable spirit is described as, “incapable of being overcome, subdued or vanquished, unconquerable.”

I can just guess that’s how the Falcons felt about the Patriots. They were warriors and they just wouldn’t quit. It was not only difficult but proved impossible to defeat them.

This trait, like mindset, is an inside job.

4.  Self Control

 Self control is about discipline.

It’s staying patient despite setbacks. It’s not giving in to frustration. It’s keeping your head and wits about you. It’s remaining focused, on task, and in the moment. Put simply, it’s doing “your job.”

That’s exactly what we saw in that 4th quarter over and over again. Bullet accuracy in passes, incredible catches, tough blocking.

Super Bowl LI was a remarkable game played by two incredible football teams. I am truly in awe of the extraordinary athleticism and determination I saw on Sunday night.

And the big takeaway for me is to remember what I witnessed and use it in my every day life.

So that when I’m faced with adversity or a tough situation, I can remind myself to lean on these four principles to help me achieve my goals, manifest my dreams and win this game called life!

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