The other night I had dinner with a friend and she asked me about the agreements my husband and I had made when we decided our relationship would be different from anything either of us had ever had before.
Listening to her question, I was suddenly silent. Apart from the one I’d recently written about - - to not go to bed angry -- what were our other agreements?
Then I remembered the first one we made. It was shortly after we’d confessed our love to one another.
It began with a conversation.
“If we’re going to be together it has to be totally different from anything we’ve ever had before,” I’d offered. “So many relationships end up being about power or control and I don’t want that anymore.”
He’d agreed and added, “Most relationships are based on conditional love, too. The ‘you only love me because.’ Those end up being about tearing each other down.”