What Mr. Rogers Taught Me

A few days ago I saw a preview of the new documentary about Fred Rogers called, “Won’t You be my Neighbor?” Instantly, I remembered being a small child, excited to turn on our old black & white TV and see Mr. Rogers smiling face as he invited me into his living room. With fondness, I recollected watching him take off his “street clothes” and put on his sweater and tennis shoes.

Then when I was about 11 or 12, I was rummaging through my father’s stack of albums and pulled out Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I started belittling him, saying his show was for babies. It was stupid. And then my father’s stern voice rang through the hallway. “Mr. Rogers is an exemplary human being. His show is intelligent, thoughtful and fun. And his message is one of universal love.”

That shut me up.

Mr. Rogers’s show was a daily reminder of kindness, friendliness and playfulness in the midst of what was a chaotic time in my life. And indeed the makers of this new documentary clearly feel we can use a dose of kindness today (certainly in the United States) and to remember how to be good neighbors.

If you’re moving down memory lane with me, here are my top Mr. Rogers takeaways:

1. Listen

Mr. Rogers was always curious and enjoyed learning about new people and new places. As a child, I was really quiet. I think I didn’t speak often in part because the world felt scary and overwhelming but also because I wanted to understand.

It wasn’t until years later, while reading M Scott Peck's, A Road Less Traveled, that I began to understand the power of listening.  That’s when I realized listening was a honed skill. Before that, I’d always felt “less than” because I wasn’t butting in to every conversation with my smart ideas.

And then I remembered Mr. Rogers, how he observed and listened, even to his puppets.

2. Say Hi & Be Neighborly

It used to be that everyone knew each other. I used to walk through my grandmother’s apartment complex as a little girl, watching as she greeted everyone – young and old. Introducing me, smiling, offering help. In an effort to resurrect civility, I’ve decided to be a welcome wagon in my own neighborhood and bring a gift to all my new neighbors who have moved in recently.

We all crave community and miss the days when friends would just pop over unannounced. What can you do to reach out a friendly hand?

3. Smile

Every day Mr. Rogers greeted me with a genuine smile on his face. Whether he was in a bad mood or not, he smiled.

Have you ever tried to be grouchy and smile at the same time? It doesn’t work. Try it right now. Allow yourself to feel pissy about something and then smile as you talk about it out loud.

What happened?

It goes away, right!

Smiling is powerful. It has the ability to not only lift others’ spirits but your own as well.

4. Help is Always Available

One of the things I especially loved about Mr. Rogers’ show was that he answered kids questions about confusing adult things like unemployment, divorce, segregation and even assassination.

He shed light on issues and helped me feel less alone and less powerful. Through him I realized that knowledge is power. I also saw that I never had to be alone with my not knowing. That I could ask for help from caring adults.

One of the new things I learned about Fred Rogers was that he was an ordained minister and I (like many children my age) were his parishioners. I’d like to make his memory proud by continuing his legacy of love and kindness. Care to join me?

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PS - Here's the trailer for the documentary

Be Kind

In today’s bully infested world, kindness is seen as weakness.

You and I both know that simply isn't true.

AND

Who wants to live in a world where we pull each other down and make each other wrong? 

Instead, let's support one another, help us reach up and become our higher selves.

Which is why I'm making a stand for kindness.

Think about it.

How do you feel when you’re mean or cruel to someone?

Now think about how you feel when you’re kind.

Like fear, kindness is contagious.

It can shower the world like water quenching a wild fire.

And, it really is easy.

It starts with a smile.

A caring word to a stranger.

A “thank you.”

That feeling of gratitude in your heart.

Doing something because.

Handing a stranger a tissue.

Holding the door open.

Waving at a car.

Kindness is like a secret weapon. Not only does it impact the receiver, it impacts the giver too.

So today, I have 2 special kindness offerings.

The first is access to a meditation guiding you through the Metta Bhavana, a Buddhist phrase and practice that means loving kindness.

This is a specific Buddhist prayer to help you foster loving kindness. The idea is to cultivate this feeling within your self and then express it to all sentient beings.

The guided meditation follows the steps as I learned them:

1. Focus on yourself. Feel love, compassion and caring for YOU.

2. Now imagine a loved one standing in front of you. Shower this person with that same love, light and healing.

3. Thirdly, envision in front of you a person with whom you have no relationship – think about your postal worker, a shopkeeper or bus driver. Send this same love and healing light to this person.

4. The next person to come before you is someone with whom you have a conflict or issue. Imagine that person standing directly in front of you. See him or her surrounded by love, healing, kindness and light.

5. Lastly, send this beautiful energy out to blanket the entire world.

You can download the meditation here OR listen to it on Insight Timer.

Practicing the Metta Bhavana will help you create and stay in a place of kindness throughout your day. It's a powerful prayer and practice. Every time I do it, it profoundly alters my day.

And as a special bonus, I’ve added a poem for you called Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye. I heard it over the weekend and learned that it has provided much solace to people over the years. Here is a beautiful link to it, enjoy.

Join me is fostering living kindness within your own being. Both yourself and the world will be grateful.

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5 Major Blocks to Happiness & How to Release Them

When people are asked what they want in their lives, it’s always more happiness.

Then as a society, why aren’t we happier?

According to research, happiness levels in industrialized countries have stagnated since the 1950s and are now actually declining.

And it isn’t about needing more stuff, earning more money or having a bigger house.

As many of you know, I’ve been actively studying happiness since 2011 when I became a certified happiness coach. Since then, I’ve taught workshops on happiness as well as continued to dive into the practice of daily happiness on a deeper level in my life.

And here are the 5 biggest blocks to happiness.

1. I'm Too Busy

Have you filled your time and energy with events, bookings, appointments, and jobs, in other words, tasks that keep you running and “busy” all day everyday so that you don’t have to be alone with you?

 If you just answered yes, here’s your solution:

Schedule an afternoon with yourself. Check in with you. Be willing to go within and ask:

~What does happiness mean to me?

~When do I feel happy?

Sit down with a pen and paper and ask yourself these questions.

Even though we all say we want more happiness, how many of us have actually sat down and thought about what makes us feel happy?

The first time I answered the question, when do I feel happy? My immediate answer was, when I ski! Guess what I schedule once a week during the winter and early spring?

2. There's Not Enough

 Does it always feel like there’s never enough time, money, friendships, love?

The easiest way to shift out of that deep well of lack, is to practice gratitude.

AND, it turns out that gratitude is the shortest short cut to happiness!

Why not start a gratitude practice today?

It’s really easy.

All you have to do is make a list of 5 things you’re grateful for. Do it right now, even if it’s in your head.

At this moment,

• I am grateful for my reliable computer that allows me to create and communicate easily and effortlessly with countless folks across the world.
• I am grateful for my healthy body.
• I am grateful for my loving family who support me, protect me and nourish me with their kindness and devotion.
• I am grateful for the nutritious, wholesome food I am able to put into my body everyday.
• I am grateful for the countless opportunities – in business, marketing, creativity, wellness, friendship and on and on- that I have in my life right now.

I love to do this activity at night, right before I go to bed. It’s a positive review of the day and brings happiness, peace, satisfaction and love to me to fall into dreams.

3. No Reception

Often times we forget to open up, to receive because it might mean we have to do two things: Ask and then listen.

God or the Uni-verse or whatever word you like to use for the great mystery that surrounds us, is always trying to support us.

Our task is to help God by allowing ourselves to open up and receive all the love, goodness, kindness, prosperity, and health that it has for us.

Here’s an easy exercise: try asking for something you want more of in your life (like creativity) then lie down with your arms over your head and feel that creativity raining down on you.

4. Lack of Intimacy

Are you spending more and more time interacting with people online, on Facebook and Twitter and less time talking face to face?

Well, you’re not alone. But you might feel lonely.

One of the best ways to feel happier and more fulfilled is to have meaningful, deep relationships with real, live human beings.

Reach out to people you genuinely care about – friends, family members, cherished loved ones.

Schedule time to be with them. We are all social beings. The love, generosity and support you get will pay off in dividends.

5. Pursuit of Happiness

We are taught that happiness is some elusive thing that we have to chase, and I did this for years. I’d already figured out that stuff didn’t make me happy. Yes, it’s pleasurable, and enjoyable but my new bottle of perfume isn’t going to sustain my happiness day in and day out.

Instead, I went seeking for happiness, learning everything I could, working with different teachers, traveling. I thought, if I kept looking, eventually I’d find it.

And what I found was that I had it all along!

HA

Because joy is who we really are. It is our innate nature.

And the ONLY thing that keeps you from experiencing joy all the time, is you.

We all tune in and out of joy.

It’s so easy to forget happiness and get consumed with emotion or worry, allow fear or anxiety to crowd in. Even when that happens, joy is still there. It waits patiently for you to return.

Think of joy like the radiant sunshine. Even when it’s raining or the clouds have covered over the sky, that sun is still there above it all, beaming down, right?

Joy is the same way.

Sadness, stress, or worry might crowd in and narrow the view, make the winds tremble, the rain fall. But above it all, beams happiness, waiting patiently for us to clear away those clouds.

Take a self inventory and scan how many of these happiness blocks are preventing you from accessing that bright sunny joy.

Happiness is there – waiting patiently for you.

What's the major block you're ready to release?
Share it with us below so we can see you stepping more into joy today!

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5 Tips for a Stress Free Holiday

We’ve hurdled past Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday.

Now on to Chanukah, Yule, Christmas and the New Year!

Take a minute.

How do you actually want your holidays to be? Fun, relaxed, enriching?

How do you actually want to feel? Happy, satisfied, warm?

Unfortunately, how we want to experience something and how we actually experience it, can often be worlds apart.

Right?

So in an effort to really create exactly what you want this year, here are my top 5 ways to have a stress free, relaxed and wonderful holiday season!

1. Self Care

Even if you have a house full of guests, are cooking up a storm or have a packed schedule of holiday parties, be sure to schedule time just for YOU.

Maybe it’s spending an hour journal writing and meditating.

How about an early evening soak in the tub?

Maybe you want to curl up by the fire with a good book, or go for a solitary walk.

Find time to give to yourself over the next few weeks so that you have the energy to give to others. 

2. Clear Boundaries

Make a plan.

First, let's talk money.

What’s your holiday budget? In other words, how much money are you willing to spend on gifts, meals and outings?

Honestly look at what you have and what you can comfortably afford.

Now let's talk about tasks.

Having guests and family?

Why not make a chore list.

Decide what needs to be done, write it out, then have people sign up. That way the burden of cooking, cleaning and shopping doesn’t solely fall on you.

Plus then you're not angry, resentful or overworked!

3. Schedule Fun

Make sure that throughout the next few weeks, the activities and tasks you do are FUN for you.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the hype or get completely focused on taking care of everyone else. Don’t forget about yourself and what you love most about this time of year.

For me, it’s getting a fresh tree and decorating it along with the house. I play all of my favorite holiday music like A Charlie Brown's Christmas. 

I also love special holiday foods (especially desserts). So I enjoy researching new recipes, making them and then, of course, eating! 

4. Seek Balance

Since I was just mentioning indulging in special holiday treats, be mindful about it. In other words, enjoy and savor those specialities - be it fudge, gingerbread, yule logs, eggnog and the like. But also counterbalance that with exercise, movement as well as fresh fruits and vegetables.

5. Make Your Time Meaningful

How can you really savor this special time?

Be truly present with yourself, your loved ones and each and every moment. 

Throughout your day, take a minute to breathe in and express gratitude for all you have. That can instantly change everything.

Think too about the customs or traditions you enjoy around this time of year - lighting candles, going to mass, chorale singing.

How can you feed your soul this holiday season?

Try incorporating these 5 tips and see how much of a difference they can make for you.

My wish for you is that the next few weeks are the most fulfilling, inspiring, loving weeks in your life, and that you have a peaceful, joyful rest of 2017. AND may you get everything your heart desires!

Stay in touch! Feel free to leave a comment below about your holiday season.

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What’s Your Preference? Routines or Goals

Tell me about your schedule:

• Do you wake up everyday at exactly the same time?
• Often eat the same meal for breakfast?
• Don’t particularly like it when there are last minute changes in your day?
• Work best knowing there’s a deadline?
• Enjoy crossing items off your To Do List?
• Prefer projects with clear beginning and end dates?

If the first 3 questions resonated with you, you’re likely more of a routine person. Meaning that you prefer life to be consistent, regular. You do your best work when things are humming along and you are in your flow.

If, instead, the latter 3 seemed more fun and fitting to your personality, you’re likely to be more goal oriented.

Neither one is bad or good. It’s just helpful to understand yourself and your own rhythms.

And even if you find that you have a preference, one over the other, they are not mutually exclusive!

Lots of people who prefer routine also have goals, and goal oriented folks need routine to get stuff done!

Here are a few tips to keep you on track:

Routine Folks

Be aware that you thrive best with a steady daily schedule.

1. Create a Healthy Routine

You want your life to support you in mind, body AND spirit. That includes scheduling time for exercising, play, social, and contemplative time.

2. Mix It Up

See if you can throw a little spice into your routine now and again just to get you out of that box! Maybe it’s a spontaneous movie night or social engagement.

Goal Peeps

Goal people can tend to procrastinate and wait until the last minute to get stuff done. This can be SUPER stressful.

1. Think about Time Management

This is where lists and spreadsheets come in really handy as does scheduling. Because like it or not, goal oriented people need some kind of plan/schedule to get everything done!

2. Make Lists

I used to work with a wonderful coach and this was her method:

• Write everything that you have to do down on a piece of paper. Research shows it's actually MORE effective writing by hand!
• Next, put 1s next to each item that has to get done immediately, 2s next to the second most urgent tasks, etc.)
• Step it out from there, looking at all the 1s, prioritize them so you have 1a, 1b, 1c… you get the point.

3. Create a Timeline

Excel is a simple tool for project management. I use it all the time to break down projects into smaller bits then I assign each one a deadline. Of course there are LOTS of time management softwares out there too. If you want an app (many of which are FREE), here are some to check out:

•    RemindMe
•    RescueTime
•    Remember the Milk
•    Focus Booster
•    Toggl (Here's a great review on this app)
•    Evernote
•    Mind42
•    MyLifeOrganized
•    Zendone

Kinda feeling like your both goal oriented and need a routine?

Good!

Because if you REALLY want to accomplish and achieve an amazing life, you’re gonna have to learn to master both.

But don’t worry, nothing is ever too hard, especially with all the support and tools at your disposal.

Celebrate whichever you are – goal oriented or routine based- and honor yourself for your own unique and creative way to live and be of service.

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3 Steps for Anxiety Free Decision Making

What if you’ve spent a ton of time heading down the road to your awesome new promotion, house or relationship when you realize it’s going south fast?

Do you keep your head down, stay on track and ignore the whisper that’s telling you something is wrong?

Or do you cut your losses and come up with a new game plan?

This was me last Saturday.

My daughter, Maya, decided after 9 months of college planning, to scrap her first choice school and begin at square one AGAIN.

She explained that the reality of living in Southern Cal and going to that school didn't match her fantasy of it. In other words, what she thought is was and what it actually was, were two very different things.

As her mom, I was both proud of her and angsty. Because now we had more work to do.

So here’s what we did:

1. Be Willing to Re-Evaluate

Rather than being resolute about sticking to a game plan, allow yourself to consider alternatives. Willingness opens the door to sight, to viewing something with fresh eyes, to the possibility of new opportunities.

You may decide not to go ahead with a new plan, but having the willingness to at least look gives you options and helps you to not feel trapped.

2. Explore Your Options

Give yourself time and space for this part.

Start drawing (even if it’s just a figure 8) or go for a walk so you can access your right brain. This will allow your creativity to flow and help you come up with lots of ideas.

Write every idea down even if it sounds crazy!

3. Look at the Cold Hard Facts

Now it’s time to get clear on your priorities. Take your list of options and evaluate each one. Use your analytical brain for this task.

• What happens if you stay on the original course?
• Where do your other paths lead?

Now ask yourself: What do YOU really want?

In other words, what’s the most important thing for you? Is it square footage? Geography? Paycheck? Commonalities?

Make a list of the pros and cons for each viable possibility.

When you're done, it's time to take action. This is key to combatting stress and anxiety. Getting clear and then moving forward is empowering. Plus now you know exactly what you want and where to go!

Once you have a new plan, you can look back at that sidelining as a blessing. It allowed you to get super clear about exactly what you wanted and which direction to move in. Even if you do stay the original course, now you're even more sure why.

At a crossroads? Share your story with me below!

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Finding Real Belonging

Feel like you don’t belong in your family? In society? In the world?

Me too.

I used to think I was the only one who felt like this. Something was terribly wrong with me - I was flawed, broken because I felt disconnected. Everyone around me seemed content, loved, successful. They were all normal and happy.

Why wasn’t I?

Then I convinced myself that there must be a place, an actual physical place, where I could feel all of that- where I genuinely belonged.

So I went looking. First I crossed the country, from Boston to Portland. Then I went to Asia- Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia. I even tried the Middle East and Europe.

I thought I’d found it in Bali, but no…

It took fifteen long years for me to clue in.

The place I was looking for was inside of me, it was me.

True belonging is about connecting to your heart, to your core, to the YOU within you.

I finally had to stop “searching” and dive in.

If feeling alone and alienated resonates with you, here are the steps to your salvation:

1. Be Present With You

Stop running away from yourself. Happy, sad, angry, suffering. Be okay with whatever you feel right now. There’s so much power in moving into the pain or discomfort. That’s where true healing lies. In seeing what’s really real for you every second of every day.

A super powerful way to dive right into this is to do mirror work. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you. I really, really love you.”

The first time I did this, I started sobbing. Now I smile.

2. Connect

Even though peace and abiding happiness come from within you, we are social creatures. How can you feel more connected to like-minded people? Is there a faith based organization or spiritual center that you resonate with nearby? Is there a book group or club doing things you enjoy?

3. Seek Refuge

In Buddhism, you often hear the phrase, “Seek refuge in the Buddha, dharma and sangha.”

I love the word refuge because to me, it’s a place of safety, a place to lick your wounds, replenish and be refilled.

I interpret this Buddhist phrase to mean that:

• First we find our salvation and our home through connection to God-the Universe-Oneness (Buddha).

What path speaks to you? What form of the divine can you connect to?

Is it Buddha, Tara, or any one of the Hindu gods or goddesses? Jesus or Virgin Mary? Is it the great earth Mother? Nature? Or simply that which is un-nameable? The great unknown?

• Second, commit to a practice. This is dharma. The way of right action and right living.

Find a teaching- book, lectures, etc. where the words resonate with your beliefs. There are countless paths and ways: Bible, Talmud, Koran, A Course In Miracles, Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, Buddhist scripture, Wiccan, Pagan, Celtic, Native American...

Maybe you want a teacher who speaks to you.

Here are some resources to check out:

1. Hay House Radio (or their website)
2. Lion’s Roar (for Buddhist teachers)
3. Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays
4. Krista Tippet’s Podcast, On Being

• Third, connect to others who are on a similar path.

This is sangha, or satsang. It is spiritual community. Seek out your spirit brothers and sisters. It’s hard to do this work, and we all need love and support. This is where community comes in.

Truly, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. This is why the world feels unnatural because we don’t really belong here. And yet, here we are, contracted to experience human existence in all its messiness and glory.

Isn’t it time to fully embrace it and genuinely live it open heartedly and unapologetically?

I say yes. And welcome to the club.

Where will you start? Share your ideas just below the blog!

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Feel More Deeply Connected: 3 Simple Ways

Let’s face it, life, especially in the USA, has felt polarized and chaotic. Even Mother Nature seems to agree. Forest fires from Montana to California, and TWO Category 4 Hurricanes making landfall in a matter of weeks.

This is NOT a political message, this is a call to action.

Because when I think about the devastation in Houston, along the coasts in Florida and in swaths of land across the west, the message seems loud and clear.

All it took was seeing the Facebook video of the line of pickup trucks towing boats toward Houston to know.

These disasters are a reminder for us to come together.

It's time for us to put our differences – be they race, gender, ethnicity, political view, education or religion – to the side and remember that underneath all of that, we are all human beings who share the same needs and wants.

If you’re ready to lay down those outer differences and step back into a bigger picture, and if you’re willing to hold a higher vibration, here a 3 actionable steps you can take right now:

1. Reach Out

Who in your community needs support or help?

Wherever you are – from New York City to Santa Barbara, Cape Town to Wellington- there are people and animals who are suffering.

Contact a local shelter, community organization or religious institution. Maybe a food pantry needs donations or volunteers. Perhaps an elderly neighbor could use some help raking leaves. The local pet shelter might need dog walkers.

Don’t have time? Find a local organization or environmental cause you care about and make a financial donation.

2. Start A Conversation

For all that technology has enhanced our lives, it’s made it easier for us to ignore true human interaction. I’m talking real face-to-face time.

Make it a goal to meet ONE new person a week.

It could be in the supermarket, at church, at a yoga class… and beam love at him or her. This isn’t about trying to find common ground or being persuasive, it’s simply about showing up as the embodiment of love.

Because if we really want to shift the vibration of our world, we all have to step into the frequency of love.

3. Find A Bigger Pond

What, apart from your family and job, are you passionate about? Arts? Social Justice? The environment? Is there a cause that you’d like to see transformed or well funded? How could you get involved?

Last weekend, I went to a free theater production of The Odyssey, a musical based on Homer’s classic epic. It was done by Public Works Seattle, an organization committed to being theater of by and for the people.

Nearly the entire cast was volunteers (except for the main parts) and came from their partner organizations: local Boys & Girls Clubs, senior centers, and homeless transition programs. The performance was fun, professional and inspiring.

And it's exactly what I’m talking about, being a part of something bigger than you.

What do you say?

It’s so easy to fall into us versus them thinking, or to feel like everyone is doing better than you. But if you’re ready to move that aside, there’s plenty to do. And as we come together and celebrate each other, we not only heal ourselves, we heal one another.

Are you ready?

Let me know what you plan to do! Leave a comment below.

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What The Eclipse Taught Me About Faith

The week before the eclipse life felt tense, unsettled, frustrating. Curiously, the eclipse seemed to clear the air!

So why not use it as a reset?

Because, more than anything, this eclipse experience reminded me to have faith.

What is faith?

Faith is a decision to believe in something you cannot verify.

For me, it's an act of letting go of fear, of control, of a desired outcome, and relaxing into a space of grace, of knowing that all is well, that I am safe and life is good.

I’d heard about the eclipse for months but had blown it off until a few weeks ago when my husband was eager to go. Since we waited so long to make plans, the closest motel we could find was 3 hours from the path of totality in Oregon.

We decided to book it anyway and drive from Washington on Monday morning as far south as we could get.

As Monday grew closer, reports about the number of people descending on Oregon circulated. The governor had called up the National Guard. It would be a traffic nightmare.

Then we heard no one was allowed to watch from the side of the road. Now where would we go? None of this helped my anxiety.

Getting ready on Sunday morning for our 36-hour road trip. I sat to meditate and got a gentle reminder. It was a voice I often hear, kind, wise and loving.

It said, “Relax. Everything always works out perfectly.”

Up until that moment, my entire week had been emotional, angsty, difficult so it was the exact reminder I needed.

Driving east, we encountered no traffic and decided to stop and walk around a picturesque mountain lake before heading into town.

That night at the motel, I got confirmation from an Oregon rancher I’d contacted that we could park on his land. Relieved that we had a destination and wouldn’t be hassled by police, we left early Monday morning, hoping to make it all the way to totality.

Again there was no traffic.

In less than 3 hours, we arrived in time to enjoy the sun rise over the high desert, the smell of Juniper in the breeze.

Before I knew it, the eclipse began.

A quick hour passed and then came the 90 seconds of totality. The temperature dropped, the sky darkened to resemble twilight. The sun was a ball of white wavy lines dancing and swirling around the shadow of the moon. It was nothing I’d imagined.

And then it was over.

The bright sun and warmth returned and soon and we were on our way home, ambling along small highways and by-ways, following rivers and canyons. In the afternoon, we crested Mt Rainier and stopped to take in the Cascade range, the fields of wild flowers and the snowy glacier.

Even though it took 9 hours, it was an absolute joy ride.

Back at home, feeling refreshed and renewed, I’m reminded to have faith.

Like me, use the eclipse as a reset.

Remember that everything is possible when you bring to mind 3 things:

1. Relax

When you relax, it stops the mind whir.

It cancels out anxiety.

It brings you back to the breath. And you come into the moment.

2. Affirm that everything always turns out perfectly

When I start to get anxiety about a situation- be it financial, professional or logistical- one of the ways I deal with those negative feelings and mind chatter is to look at the past.

Whenever I have dealt with a similar situation it has easily been resolved.

~My bills always get paid.

~I consistently arrive at my destination safely.

~I’ve successfully done (a similar task) in the past.

Simply because this is a“new” situation does not mean it will be any different.

3. Go for It

This is the reminder to do whatever it is that you’re afraid to do

-with confidence

-with eyes wide open

-with certainty that the outcome is assured

Usually what happens is better than you even expected!

How does faith or lack of faith show up in your life?

Try using these 3 steps to help you move into the future with greater confidence, assurance and ease. Life certainly feels more exciting and vibrant when we jump in and stretch ourselves.

Let me know how it goes!

Or share your eclipse story with me and leave a comment below!

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Live a Passion Filled Life In 3 Simple Steps

Have you ever met someone and been truly inspired?

That happened to me with my first yoga teacher, Jayanta. His classes immersed us in bhakti or devotion. With every pose that we did, it wasn't about sweating or getting a work out, it was prayer in motion.

It was an act of connecting to the divine and expressing that love through movement.

Recently we reconnected and it inspired me to remember to infuse life with love and embrace prayer in action.

Because everything we do – from brushing our teeth, to mowing the lawn, to making a phone call - is an opportunity to share the love of God and to celebrate being alive.

Each person is an incarnation of the beloved. God is in all of us, shining forth. So as you go about your day, see if you can embrace this essence of prayer-filled living.

It’s simple and requires only 3 things:

1. Awareness

Awareness is the choice to be present in all things.

I once had a friend who told me to be proud of whatever job you have, do it with gusto and put in 100% effort. He said, “even if I was a garbage man, I’d do it to the best of my ability.”

I’ve never forgotten his words. He was suggesting to be fully present and aware in everything you do. Do it with pride, care and diligence.

When you choose this attitude, you feel alive, capable, satisfied and attuned to life in a deep and fulfilling way.

2. Practice Gratitude

When I have thanks in the moment for my life, my entire chest expands. I feel spacious, full, rich, content.

Try it right now.

Look around you and think of 3 things you’re grateful for in your life. Inhale that feeling. Don’t you feel bigger and more expansive?

All the research tells us that gratitude is THE fastest way to experience happiness. Gratitude is also an excellent way to feel alive, present and to view the world through the eyes of love.

A wonderful short video to help you experience gratitude was done by Louie Shwartzberg. He uses his exquisite time-lapse nature photography while you listen to Brother David Steindl-Rast , a Benedictine monk, describe exactly what gratitude is. This film is one of my most favorite TedTalks. Check it out here

3. Foster Empathy

Empathy is compassion, or caring about others because you have either experienced a similar pain or can put yourself in that person’s shoes.

An excellent example of empathy at work is Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12-step program. People who are active alcoholics go there for help and support. They are not judged – often for the first times in their lives. Instead, they are embraced and supported by other recovering addicts who know exactly what it feels like to walk into that room, wanting to stop but are scared to death.

We know from studies that it is low and medium income people who are often the most generous donors to charities which may be surprising when you think their incomes aren’t as high as say, a hedge fund manager.

Yet, there have been times in my life when I was one pay check away from homelessness. We can relate, we have empathy.

Infuse this day and every day with the power of love. Allow grace to wash over you and through you as you meet this moment with compassion, awareness, and gratitude.

Life feels so much more fulfilling, rich and satisfying when we choose to see everything as love, as God, as one.

See if you can be the beloved and infuse your life with that love.

Let me know what YOU think! leave a comment below.

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3 Must Haves For A Happy & Rich Spiritual Life

What does it mean to be “spiritual”?

That word gets thrown around a lot.

Sometimes spirituality can sound serious. Like when people talk about "mind training." That phrase can feel daunting and complicated. 

Other times spirituality can sound airy-fairy, when people talk to angels, or leave food out for the little people.

For me, leading a “spiritual” life means committing to God but also to humanity.

In other words it’s about being in the world, aware and conscious, with a wide-open heart, while also deeply connecting to the one-ness, to God, to source.

In the decades that I've been studying and living this truth, I've discovered that there are 3 things you need to have a grounded, rich, soul filled life.

1. A Healthy Body

Have you ever tried to meditate when you’re sick?

If you have, then you know exactly why this is here.

It’s so hard to focus the mind and sit still when the body is aching, or out of alignment.

Care for your body.

Treat it like the temple that it is for it houses your soul on earth. AND it’s here with you on this journey the entire time.

Your body is your constant companion.

Eat healthy foods.

Move.

Treat your body with the love and respect it deserves.

2. Heal Your Mind

I don’t know one adult who hasn’t experienced suffering.

As Buddhism reminds us, this is one of the Four Noble Truths; life is suffering.

For some, this can be physical – starvation, deprivation, illness.

For all of us, it is emotional.

And here’s the dirty little secret: what you don’t deal with, your unconscious material, rules your life.

Be willing to examine that anger, lack of trust, anxiety or depression.

Often these symptoms hark back to unresolved issue from childhood. Common ones are: feeling unloved, abandoned or unsupported.

How can you release that old pattern or limiting belief?

Does it involve forgiveness, a frank discussion with someone, creating healthy boundaries?

What you don’t see has all the power. So make the invisible visible and walk through the pain.

Whenever I get scared of doing this, I’m reminded of a passage in A Road Less Traveled, by M Scott Peck in which he says:

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

Pain can be the great transformer because it can push us to change, learn, grow and evolve.

It also helps us remember that we are not our neurosis.

We are in fact already whole and healed, perfect in every way. We just have to remember and re-align to that.

So be willing to ground yourself both in your physical body and your mind.

3. Maintain a Practice

Whatever it is that you are inclined to do: prayer, breath work, meditation, yoga, free dance, chanting, ritual, mantra…

Make it a habit. Commit to it every day.

It is the only way to truly shift and release.

Whatever you experience during meditation, eventually you will come back to this present, the here and now and to this body and mind.

That’s why it’s critical that your mind and body are strong and healthy. As you build your spiritual muscles and gain more power, you have to be able to hold it. This is why you need a strong physical and mental constitution.

What’s your favorite way to nurture your mind, body or spirit?

Leave a comment below. Let’s get inspired by one another!

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A Love Contract? 4 Ways to Write One

I’d never really though about having a contract for an intimate relationship until I read an article in the New York Times about it.

At first, it seemed crazy to “formalize” love.

But then I realized the author, Mandy Len Catron's, idea had merit. And, it reminded me that, in essence, my husband and I have this.

Well, not exactly.

We never created a written contract that we sign and annually review, like the one Mandy has. Instead, we have agreements or tenets that define our relationship.

Ours are simple:

1. Honor the God in Each Other

This means that we want the best for one another, that we truly see each other, and that we love one another from this higher space.

2. Share Everything

We talk about everything. And this commitment means that we are willing to have the hard conversations and be vulnerable with one another.

3. Don’t Go to Bed Angry

This is the most specific one. It's a reminder to share everything EVEN when talking about hurt feelings is the last thing I want to do.

4. Make Decisions Jointly

When it comes to big decisions, we do our best to consult one another. Having two heads on an issue provides more insight, clarity and thought. It is also a way to respect one another and value each other.

Mandy Len Catron and her partner, on the other hand, have a detailed contract outlining the various facets and complexities of co-habitation. Their contract is annual, up for renewal and revision every year.

And this was what I appreciated the most, its fluidity. Each partner has an opportunity to discuss their needs – be it emotional, physical or sexual. It allows them to talk about all the issues that couples frequently struggle with – money, sex, emotional vulnerability.

I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now and we know each other pretty well. But when I think about starting again, like if we had just decided to get together, I might have embraced the idea of a contract, an agreement that’s more detailed and explicit. It certainly makes sense.

If you feel like you want a contract or even a set of principles upon which to base your relationship, here are 4 ways to get started:

1.  Have a Conversation

What’s important to you? What topics would you want to include? Where are each of you willing to compromise?

2. What Are Your Shared Values?

For my husband and me, it was about wanting the best for one another, wanting to support each other in being our highest selves. Everything fell into place after that.

How do you feel about intimacy? Children? Spirituality? Retirement? Politics?

3. Make A Budget

Money creates so much tension and animosity. Decide together what your goals are. What is joint? What is separate? Who pays for what? 

4. State Your Needs

Be honest about what you really need from a partner. People aren’t mind readers. Tell your significant other what you need, what you want, and how to best take care of you.

Whether you’re just starting out or have been in a relationship for a decade, these conversations are vital to keep those channels open and help you create a deeper, more intimate, loving and fulfilling relationship.

Let me know how it goes! What would you add to your contract? Jot down your ideas under the blog.

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Interested in the article? Here’s a link

Get Your Groove Back: 3 Easy Steps to Re-Awaken Creativity

Stuck in a rut?

Feel like you’re creative juices have dried up?

Let’s face it. This happens to ALL of us especially if you have a deadline or are starting a fresh, new project.

But here’s the great news. It’s actually pretty easy to fan that flame.

Check out these 3 ways to get going again:

1. Move

This is actually two ideas in one:

The first is to physically move your body.

Get out of that office chair, quit standing behind that easel and go for a walk.

Moving does a few things.

It oxygenates the body. It also frees your mind to begin free-associating. This can help you solve a problem or resolve an issue. Steve Jobs often walked when he wanted to think out a problem and frequently invited other people to go with him and brainstorm!

The second is to change locations.

Go and work somewhere else.

This is like magic for me.

Normally, I work at home but am just as likely as you to get stuck. When I feel this coming on, I go to a café, park bench or someplace where I can work undisturbed. 

Sometimes you just need a change of scenery.

2. Be inspired

Creativity can be jumpstarted by something you see, hear or read.

Exposing yourself to other ideas can act like a springboard and launch you into a new thought or way of seeing something.

Maybe you read a great article and it inspires a blog post or you see a cool sculpture at a gallery and it gets you thinking about how you could draw it. Magazines come in handy, too, for ideas about decorating, new clothing outfits or dinner menu ideas.

Ready to find inspiration?

Check out your local library for magazines, see what visual or performing arts shows are happening in your local area, browse Pinterest or Etsy for ideas. You can even google a topic (like creativity) and see what the search brings.

3. Collaborate

Sometimes if you’re really stuck, it helps to talk it out.

Call up a friend or colleague, explain what’s going on.

It can often be easier for an outside person to provide clarity than it is for you to cut through your own stuck-ness.

We can often be blind to the most obvious thing.

Share where you are and where you want to go. 

Sometimes just saying the words out loud brings the solution.

We are all creative. And we all fall into slumps. 

So the next time you need a little kick start, try these tips and see what happens!

AND be sure to let me know! Leave me a comment below or shoot me an email!

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5 Secrets Successful People Know

Have you ever asked yourself what success really means to you?

Look around. People hurry and rush, busy chasing someone else’s definition of success – be it a parent, society, or cultural expectation.

Isn't it time to define success for yourself?

Take a minute, well okay, maybe 20, and dive in.

Ask yourself:

1. What does success look like?

Is it a big house? A fancy car?

Is it your own business?

Is it lots of money in the bank, thousands of Twitter followers or being on Oprah?

Most people have the idea that lots of money = success.

But what if earning that big bank account meant you worked 15 hours a day and always felt stressed out and tired? What if it meant you had to rip people off or be dishonest?

Is that the life you really want?

Make a list or envision what success looks like to you.

When I started this inquiry, I realized that for me success meant freedom: the freedom to do what I love AND love what I do. The freedom to have my own schedule and be my own boss. The freedom to decide every day what I was going to do!

2. How does success feel?

This is critical. Because a genuine definition of success isn’t just about what you want, it’s about how you experience every day of your life.

Do you want to just survive, go through the motions, live for the weekend? Or do you want to really thrive and feel genuinely excited, fulfilled, rewarded and passionate?

I see many clients who strive to please someone else, to earn someone’s love or to feel respected.

But all of these are external drivers.

What if you could be loved, accepted and appreciated no matter what?

Would that change what you were doing right now?

Would you stop working your corporate job and instead start a non-profit to help animals?

Write down exactly how success feels to you.

For me, it's about being excited and passionate about what I do so I orient myself towards joy. Then I ask, what fuels my creativity and energizes me? What makes me happy?

My answer is simple. It’s sharing and giving – helping others, writing (about things I’ve learned, a-has I’ve had), and in being visually creative.

3. How do you want your life to be?

Lately, as I start my morning run, overlooking the Puget Sound, the sun on my face, I think, “it doesn’t get better than this.”

Vision your life.

Are you surrounded by loving friends and family?

Are you alone in a large mansion?

Are you active and engaged in service to others or for a cause that feels meaningful?

See yourself not only in a “work” environment but holistically.

Where are you living and with whom? Do you have time to exercise, meditate, play? Are there ample funds and time for health and holidays?

4. Take Action

Now that you've defined exactly what success is, what it looks like and feels like, it’s time to jump in.

What’s the first thing you can do to move closer to having that experience of success in your life right now?

List three actions you can take this week.

Do this EVERY week, maybe even every day!

5. Persevere

Changing habits and re-aligning yourself to your new definition of success takes time and patience.

But now that you’re clear about where you want to go, and have actions to help get you there, you only need to keep going.

Simply remember Dory’s little song from Finding Nemo. “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.” And before you know it, your life will feel full, rich, rewarding and successful!

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3 Ways to Be More Mindful Every Day

Are you ready to feel more aware, caring and mindful?

Do you want to appreciate the spring flowers, savor that fresh cup of coffee, or be fully present with others?

But instead, you find yourself distracted in the moment, either internally by the cascading river of thoughts, or externally by demands from traffic, job, family, smartphone… In other words, the chaos of life.

What if there was a way to step into the silence even if only for a moment?

Of course the best way to do this is through meditation, having a daily practice, (click here to get started).

AND by taking that essence out into the world and living it.

Here are three ways to bring mindfulness into your every day:

1. Intend Your Day

Every morning when you wake up, decide how you want your day to be.

Happy? Disappointing? Exciting? Frustrating?

Take a moment to envision it.

What will you do? How will it progress? Will it be easy or hard?

Intentionally or unintentionally, you decide how you want your day to be from the moment it starts.

Infuse this time with clarity, with mindfulness, with right thinking. So that your day can reflect exactly what you want.

I like to use affirmation to support my visioning.

“I see myself vibrant and healthy, engaged and creative. I know I will live this day to the fullest and savor every moment of it.”

2. Cultivate Appreciation

Appreciation is perspective.

Appreciation is noticing all the little things in life that are working, going well, successful. It’s recognizing the love you feel for your husband, and appreciating the bond you have. It’s honoring your body, and having gratitude for it’s incredible capacity to heal and support you. It’s recognizing all the abundance and beauty that surrounds you in every moment.

When I lived in Hong Kong, a very busy, dirty (and smelly!) city, most evenings as I boarded the ferry to head home, I’d gaze out at the shimmering harbor that perfectly reflected the sun setting across the skyscrapers. Sheer beauty.

It’s even about appreciating the hard things in life as lessons to be learned or challenges to overcome.

3. Return to Now

If you find yourself distracted during the day by the chatter in your head, take a deep breath and come back to now.

I have a very active mind so it is common that as I do a task or listen to someone, a voice offers ongoing commentary in my mind.

Nowadays this voice is quieter and I’m able to more easily silence it.

But the first step is to become aware of this mind habit. “Oh look, I’ve just gone down the rabbit hole and am miles away, thinking about my trip to Hawaii instead of here sitting at the table with you.”

When this happens, take a deep breath, oxygenate yourself and re-focus. Listen to your friend in the here and now, finish that assignment, close the deal.

Mindfulness is really about mind training and creating new habits. Use these three tools to help you build those muscles and experience more happiness, gratitude and love in every moment.

What will you do?

I'd love to hear which one of these resonates with you? Leave me a comment below ~ I'll see you there!

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