Why Archetypes Matter & How to Use Them
Since I was a girl, I’ve been obsessed with myths and legends, the hero’s journey and the fight between good and evil.
When I got into college, I discovered Carl Jung and his work on both the collective unconscious and archetypes.
Don’t stop reading because this sounds too heady – I promise it isn’t.
Recently, I dove back into learning more about archetypes because I realized they play a huge roll in our lives. They influence us in seen and unseen ways and I wanted clarity about which ones were influencing me and how I could both recognize and harness them.
This inspired me to read Caroline Myss’ book, Sacred Contracts. In it, she shares that we all have 12 archetypes playing out in our lives. I think of them like guardians.
Since I was a girl, I’ve been obsessed with myths and legends, the hero’s journey and the fight between good and evil.
When I got into college, I discovered Carl Jung and his work on both the collective unconscious and archetypes.
Don’t stop reading because this sounds too heady – I promise it isn’t.
Recently, I dove back into learning more about archetypes because I realized they play a huge roll in our lives. They influence us in seen and unseen ways and I wanted clarity about which ones were influencing me and how I could both recognize and harness them.
This inspired me to read Caroline Myss’ book, Sacred Contracts. In it, she shares that we all have 12 archetypes playing out in our lives. I think of them like guardians.
One of the things she claims, is that we ALL share four. Meaning that out of the twelve we all have the exact same four, (the other eight could be any of a list of over a hundred.)
The four we all have are: the child, the victim, the prostitute and the saboteur.
Before I get carried away, let’s back up.
What exactly is an archetype?
An archetype can be thought of as a prototype, a model or the original on which others things are built or influenced.
Carl Jung popularized the concept of archetype in his book, The Structure of the Psyche. He describes archetypes as being universal models of people, ways of being/acting (personality). He believed that these archetypes inhabit our dreams and, what he called, the collective unconscious.
“Archetypes constitute the structure of the collective unconscious - they are psychic innate dispositions to experience and represent basic human behavior and situations. Thus mother-child relationship is governed by the mother archetype. Father-child - by the father archetype.” Carl-Jung.net
We all share this collective unconscious. Meaning that everyone, regardless of nationality, race, creed or ethnicity, tap into this universal energy and are influenced by the same archetypes.
Have you ever seen tarot cards?
Many of the symbols on them are archetypes. Think about: the king, queen, prince, princess, magician (sorcerer/wise woman), hermit, seeker (wanderer), lover, gambler, midas/miser, monk, mother, father, etc.
How do archetypes show up in your life?
What Jung, Tarot card readers and intuitive healers (like Caroline Myss) say, is that these guides influence our lives. They affect how we respond in situations and motivate us.
As Myss says, “Archetypes are your energy guides to your highest potential.”
This is why I wanted to understand them more.
Here’s a more detailed description of the four we all share:
1. Child
Of course we all share the child. Why? Because we’ve all been one. It’s part of the human experience. According to Myss, there are different ways the child can show up in us.
Wounded, abandoned, neglected, orphaned, dependent – How did what happened to you as a child still play a role in your life or scar you? Are you still needy or expecting to be taken care of?
Innocent / magical /nature / divine – This is the purity of the child. How they see that anything is possible and are open to the magic of the world. When you can tap into this, you tap into pure creativity.
Our journey to health and adulthood is to overcome dependence and wounded-ness and move to independence, openness and channeling that creativity.
Going beyond the wounded/abandoned child allows you to connect in a healthy way with your own innocence.
2. Victim
We all know what a victim is and have all felt like one in our lives. We feel like victims when we have no power or control.
As we emerge into adulthood, we can shed the victim by creating healthy boundaries and by asserting our own power.
We do this by standing up for ourselves, speaking our truth, living our passion, etc. How you see yourself and your relationship with the victim archetype, is, according to Myss, a dive into self esteem.
3. Prostitute
I love how Myss describes this. Don’t think about it how we normally define the word. Instead, explore it as where you compromise your values or sell out.
A really easy way to see this is to tune in to the American presidential primaries. What is a candidate willing to sacrifice (in terms of values or beliefs) for votes?
For the rest of us, the prostitute archetype comes into play when our basic survival is jeopardized. Makes sense, right?
The prostitute, according to Myss, is present to test our faith. For when we genuinely have faith, we are not for sale.
4. Saboteur
I cringed when I saw that I had this one. Ugh.
In the negative, it acts to disrupt plans, dreams, intentions. It is how we get in our own way. For me, it’s about sometimes flaking out and not finishing things.
How does it show up for you?
In the positive, the sabotuer can be the impetus, the drive to push us forward, to help us listen to our own intuition.
Ultimately, the saboteur helps us see how we experience change in our lives and our willingness to deal with it.
Myss’ book, Sacred Contracts, really opened my eyes to how these four work in my life. It also inspired me to dive in and determine what my other eight were and understand how they influence me.
I’m infinitely curious about life, how to live it and succeed. The more we bring into the light and move from the unconscious to the conscious, the more power we have to impact our lives positively and fulfill our deepest wishes and desires.
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And here are some great sources for you about archetypes:
Self Love or Shame?
I’m a big fan of Brené Brown because she’s willing to research topics that no one wants to talk about, like shame. One of my favorite books of hers is Daring Greatly.
In it, Brown says that shame needs three things to grow: silence, secrecy and judgment.
We all have shame, those places inside where we feel bad about ourselves, unworthy, embarrassed, ashamed.
I’m a big fan of Brené Brown because she’s willing to research topics that no one wants to talk about, like shame. One of my favorite books of hers is Daring Greatly.
In it, Brown says that shame needs three things to grow: silence, secrecy and judgment.
We all have shame, those places inside where we feel bad about ourselves, unworthy, embarrassed, ashamed.
I used to have a lot of shame around my body. I learned from reading Daring Greatly that this – our bodies – is the #1 shame trigger for ALL women!
When I was a binge eater, I was embarrassed both by my body but also by my behavior.
There were many lonely evenings when I’d buy a pound of peanut M&Ms or a packet of Oreo cookies and inhale the entire bag in an hour. I was ashamed that I had no control, that I'd consumed so much food like a vacuum.
Years after I overcame my eating disorder, I met my spiritual teacher, Ma Jaya. She was a wonderful storyteller and I especially enjoyed the stories about her early life, living in Brooklyn, married to a tough Italian man.
Back then, Ma was also overweight and (like many women) was perpetually on a diet. One night, she was enjoying her dinner when her husband made a wise crack, “eat a little more.”
After that, she stopped eating in front of him.
Instead, she’d hide a loaf of Italian bread in the bathroom. When dinner was over, she’d bring the salad bowl with all the leftover oil and vinegar with her into the bathroom and soak the bread in it, scarfing down the entire loaf.
Listening to her, I could relate. She was me. I never wanted anyone to see me binge eat. I always did that alone.
But she was also NOT me.
Even though she wanted to be thinner, she always raved about how gorgeous she was back then – voluptuous, sexy. She had no shame. She simply loved herself skinny and fat.
What about you?
Is there a part of you that you disown? An aspect of who you are that makes you feel ashamed?
I know people who are embarrassed because of their sexual orientation, because they don’t feel smart or intelligent, because they can’t stay sober, because they have dyslexia, OCD or ADHD.
Instead of ignoring that part of you, or pushing it away, can you pour love and light into it?
We do this by accepting it, by loving it, embracing it and opening up about it. When we share how we feel flawed, broken, or imperfect with someone we really trust, it helps heal us.
Empathy destroys shame.
How would that feel?
When I read Brené Brown’s book, it set me free. Why? Because I realized that the places where I judge myself or feel shame are so often the same ones that we all do.
Once I saw that these “flaws” weren’t really specific to me, it seemed silly to hold on to them anymore.
After all, we are spirit beings having a human experience. And I’m resolved to make this the best one ever – and that means loving ALL of me!
What do you think? Are you in? Share one thing you're ready to release!
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Living the Dream
Have you ever had a person in your life who saw your inner beauty, your soul radiance?
I have.
One of the first times this happened, was when I lived in Hong Kong. I was in my early twenties, struggling to find my way as an adult, and living 10,000 miles away from my family, friends and culture.
I admit it, I was lonely and scared.
Have you ever had a person in your life who saw your inner beauty, your soul radiance?
I have.
One of the first times this happened, was when I lived in Hong Kong. I was in my early twenties, struggling to find my way as an adult, and living 10,000 miles away from my family, friends and culture.
I admit it, I was lonely and scared.
Six months later, I met Diana, a young woman from the U.K., and we instantly bonded. As I got to know her story, I soon discovered that she was in need of healing as much as I was.
But Diana’s challenges were not mine.
She was model material and looked like a Roman goddess with her shapely tan figure and aquiline silhouette. She was a water nymph, forever running around in a bikini, sun bathing and swimming in the warm ocean. In my eyes, she was the epitome of beautiful.
Not only that, but she oozed confidence.
She was a master painter and earned her living on commissions for oils. Her work reminded me of the classic art I’d studied both as an undergraduate and then in Italy. It could have hung in museums next to Ingres or David.
Meanwhile, I was dreadfully unhappy. Not only did I have no clue what I wanted to do, I didn’t even really know how to live a healthy life. Since arriving in Hong Kong six months earlier, I’d worked a job I loathed in a factory in the most polluted district in the territories.
Because I was afraid and alone, I’d buried all my fear and anxiety under mountains of food and had gained another forty pounds. To make matters worse, I’d then shaved off all of my long blond locks in an effort to “expose” myself and stop hiding. I now resembled a Buddhist nun.
Looking back, I can say that I was deeply immersed in a “dark night of the ego.”
I was shedding aspects of myself, questioning who I was, trying to make sense of the world. But I didn’t know how to walk through the process and felt both alone and petrified.
Despite being only twenty, Diana had a timeless wisdom. She immediately saw through the extra pounds, the glasses, the shorn hair, straight to my essence, to my inner beauty.
Not only that, she saw through my self hatred and shame. And instead spoke to the inner radiant goddess that dwelled inside of me. Her ability to hold me in that space helped me crack out of my own self judgment, emotionally buoyed me and gave me the confidence I needed to take real action.
With her support, I got clear about what I must have in my life. Then I began to make the changes I desperately needed. First, I quit my job and within two months found a new one that fit all my criteria. Next I moved house.
As I acted, I began to claim my power. All because she saw me when I couldn't see it for myself
Is there someone in your life who sees your magnificence?
Someone who can hold the space and knows who you are in the world?
I currently have a Master Mind partner who does this for me. I paint a picture of how I want my life to unfold, how I want to show up in the world, and she not only sees it, she cheers me on, builds it up, brainstorms with me to make that vision manifest.
We all need these light-holders, these love seers in our lives.
Who is doing that for you?
Is it a best friend, a relative, a pastor, coach or therapist?
Take inventory. Look around at your support system, at who surrounds you. Are these folks backing you up, validating your dreams, and helping to elevate you?
If so, you’re in good hands. Because here’s the thing: We can’t do it alone. We need help, we need support, we need cheerleaders.
If you don’t have a team or a trusted confidante, think about who around you could be one. Is there someone you really trust? Or someone you admire that you could reach out to?
We all have greatness within us but it can be hard for us to see it in ourselves. That’s why we need encouragement, support and that special person, seeing us in all our glorious magnificence to help us reach for the stars.