Have you ever had a person in your life who saw your inner beauty, your soul radiance?
One of the first times this happened, was when I lived in Hong Kong. I was in my early twenties, struggling to find my way as an adult, and living 10,000 miles away from my family, friends and culture.
I admit it, I was lonely and scared.
Six months later, I met Diana, a young woman from the U.K., and we instantly bonded. As I got to know her story, I soon discovered that she was in need of healing as much as I was.
But Diana’s challenges were not mine.
She was model material and looked like a Roman goddess with her shapely tan figure and aquiline silhouette. She was a water nymph, forever running around in a bikini, sun bathing and swimming in the warm ocean. In my eyes, she was the epitome of beautiful.
Not only that, but she oozed confidence.
She was a master painter and earned her living on commissions for oils. Her work reminded me of the classic art I’d studied both as an undergraduate and then in Italy. It could have hung in museums next to Ingres or David.
Meanwhile, I was dreadfully unhappy. Not only did I have no clue what I wanted to do, I didn’t even really know how to live a healthy life. Since arriving in Hong Kong six months earlier, I’d worked a job I loathed in a factory in the most polluted district in the territories.
Because I was afraid and alone, I’d buried all my fear and anxiety under mountains of food and had gained another forty pounds. To make matters worse, I’d then shaved off all of my long blond locks in an effort to “expose” myself and stop hiding. I now resembled a Buddhist nun.
Looking back, I can say that I was deeply immersed in a “dark night of the ego.”
I was shedding aspects of myself, questioning who I was, trying to make sense of the world. But I didn’t know how to walk through the process and felt both alone and petrified.
Despite being only twenty, Diana had a timeless wisdom. She immediately saw through the extra pounds, the glasses, the shorn hair, straight to my essence, to my inner beauty.
Not only that, she saw through my self hatred and shame. And instead spoke to the inner radiant goddess that dwelled inside of me. Her ability to hold me in that space helped me crack out of my own self judgment, emotionally buoyed me and gave me the confidence I needed to take real action.
With her support, I got clear about what I must have in my life. Then I began to make the changes I desperately needed. First, I quit my job and within two months found a new one that fit all my criteria. Next I moved house.
As I acted, I began to claim my power. All because she saw me when I couldn't see it for myself
Is there someone in your life who sees your magnificence?
Someone who can hold the space and knows who you are in the world?
I currently have a Master Mind partner who does this for me. I paint a picture of how I want my life to unfold, how I want to show up in the world, and she not only sees it, she cheers me on, builds it up, brainstorms with me to make that vision manifest.
We all need these light-holders, these love seers in our lives.
Who is doing that for you?
Is it a best friend, a relative, a pastor, coach or therapist?
Take inventory. Look around at your support system, at who surrounds you. Are these folks backing you up, validating your dreams, and helping to elevate you?
If so, you’re in good hands. Because here’s the thing: We can’t do it alone. We need help, we need support, we need cheerleaders.
If you don’t have a team or a trusted confidante, think about who around you could be one. Is there someone you really trust? Or someone you admire that you could reach out to?
We all have greatness within us but it can be hard for us to see it in ourselves. That’s why we need encouragement, support and that special person, seeing us in all our glorious magnificence to help us reach for the stars.