You know that expression, “wherever you go, there you are.”?
I was thinking about that the other morning.
If you’re like me, you want to world to be a better place, more loving, peaceful, sane.
But what if the real way to succeed at changing the world isn’t by going out and tangibly changing the politics, or environment but is all about changing yourself? In other words, changing your mind about the world.
This is what I think the above quote actually means.
Boundaries often get a bad rap, as if they’re not a good thing, as if they prevent us from genuine connection.
Is that really true?
First off, let’s define what we’re really talking about.
A boundary can be physical like a fence or a wall, even your skin is a natural physical boundary.
Boundaries can also be set by social or cultural standards. For example, in Japan, people greet one another with a bow, rather than in the United States where we often shake hands or hug.
Boundaries – in terms of dictating behavior- also differ in public versus private spaces, and vary depending on the types of relationship you have with someone.
When you were a child, did you have an imaginary friend? Someone you held tea parties with, read to in bed, played hide and seek with, or blamed for the mess in your room?
According to WebMD, around 65% of children under the age of seven have them, so if you did, you’re in the majority!
Naturally, there are social and emotional reasons that children have imaginary friends. It’s good company. It’s also a way to try out new social behaviors, or process feelings. An imaginary friend can offer support, too. After all, it’s YOUR special friend, someone who loves you, won’t leave, and doesn’t judge.
February is the month for lovers, for love, for reminding us of what our hearts yearn for.
Are you like me? Have you always been a romantic, from the time you were little?
I completely bought into the fantasy. You know it, right? Get rescued from your unhappy situation when you meet the love of your dreams, and live happily ever after.
As part this, I was HOOKED on the idea of falling in love even though I had NO idea of what love actually was.
I harbored this romantic dream for years.
Last year my daughter turned me onto this idea that there is a Major Arcana Tarot card that informs the overarching energy of the year.
One way to think about this is as the TONE for the year on a global scale, reflecting the energy that might be arising.
It’s actually quite simple to learn which tarot card it is for the year. Simply add the numbers of the year together. So, for this year it would be: 2+0+2+4=8
The Card that correlates with the number 8 is STRENGTH.
Immediately that feels heartening, don’t you think? As if it is inviting us to call on our own inner strength, knowing that it’s there for us always. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to cultivate strength even more since we may need this quality as 2024 unfolds.
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Have you ever asked yourself what success really means to you?
Look around. People hurry and rush, busy chasing someone else’s definition of success – be it a parent, society, or cultural expectation.
Isn't it time to define success for yourself?
Take a minute, well okay, maybe 20, and dive in.
Ask yourself:
Are you ready to feel more aware, caring and mindful?
Do you want to appreciate the spring flowers, savor that fresh cup of coffee, or be fully present with others?
Instead, you find yourself distracted in the moment, either internally by the cascading river of thoughts, or externally by demands from traffic, job, family, smartphone… in other words, the chaos of life.
Last weekend I attended a writer’s conference. There were classes and opportunities to network but most importantly, I got to pitch my book to potential agents.
Before I went, I was kind of nervous.
I had never done anything like that before.
What if none of the agents were interested?
Even when we want something to happen, dream about it, and vision it, we can be afraid when we’re looking right at it.
Which is why I found the guidance from a recent meditation so helpful. My anxiety was swirling when I heard a very distinctive voice. She cut right through the chaos and said, “Step into your future. The door is right there, in front of you.”
For many of us, procrastination feels like the bane of our existence.
It’s the voice saying, “I know I should be…,” the project you just don’t have time for, or the dream going unfulfilled.
I used to procrastinate with everything. I’d drag my feet, wait until the last minute, freak out and then just before the deadline, get it done. But after awhile, I realized that my pattern was causing me so much stress. I hated feeling the pressure and tension.
That’s when I decided to make some adjustments in how I approached my life. And here’s what I found most useful:
Feel like your life needs a shift?
Have you considered trying mantra?
A mantra is a word or phrase that, according to Yogic philosophy (Vedanta), has power. The story is that the ancient sages, (Rishi) could hear the vibrations of everything in nature and made these sounds into words and phrases known as mantra. Mantra is the literal creation of form from energy.
I was 15 years old the first time I consciously felt anxiety and had just started my sophomore year at a new boarding school. The souring in my stomach and the fear that blinded me was terrifying. So I bolted down the stairs of my dorm, and headed straight to the vending machines. I wanted to push away and bury all that anxiety and uncertainty.
By October, I’d gained twenty pounds because I didn’t know how to deal with dark emotions like: discomfort, anxiety, pain, anguish, frustration, resentment…
It took me 10 years to learn how to be present and experience these uncomfortable feelings.
Now when they come up, do I like it? Not really.
Have you ever wanted your moment – whatever was happening to be different?
When that occurs, how do you feel? Frustrated? Annoyed? Aggravated? Whatever the emotion, it’s a form of suffering.
For the past week, I’ve been exploring this idea – of wanting my moment to be other than it is - on a microcosmic level because I’ve been sick. And I was pissed about it.
I did not want to be sick.
Today more than ever it seems like we’re struggling with this idea of truth. We’re being bombarded with talk about real news, fake news, and it begs the question, what is truth?
Truth is fact, truth is honesty, and in personal life, truth is the willingness to put what you say and believe on the line.
Are you motivated to be more truthful with your loved ones?
Some people love to argue and fight. Part of me is in awe of these gutsy folks because I am the opposite. I hate arguing. I don’t even like watching other people fight.
Instead, my typical response was always one of three things: I avoided the confrontation or I worked hard at making peace, smoothing things over or acting like it was no big deal.
But as I moved more into being authentic, none of these behaviors felt genuine. They were just ways that I was ignoring myself, allowing myself to be quieted or swallowing how I really felt. And then, when I ran a business, I had no choice because conflict was in my face.
It was time to deal with it.
We’re entering into the vortex of holiday. The next 5 weeks will be a blur of excitement… and stress.
Many of us look forward to the holidays as a time for family, fun, sharing and giving. But the holidays are THE most stressful time of year.
So in the midst of decorating, shopping, cooking and partying, be sure to take extra special care of YOU.
