Embodying Well-Being Part IV

We are now at the last pillar of well-being which is defined as purpose.

Purpose has had a resurgence of interest in the past few years, and I confess to have done my fair share of contemplation with it!

Most inquiries around purpose seem to focus on action, as in what you do, how you do it and then show up in the world. But underneath that is another layer, isn’t there? It’s the motivation behind the action.

Here’s what I mean. If you think you are here to be helpful, of service, then you will choose a job to illustrate that belief.

Think about someone like Steve Jobs. He famously said that he wanted to “make a dent in the universe.” It isn’t surprising, then, that he gravitated towards technology as his way of leaving an indelible mark.

To this end, the focus Dr Davidson emphasizes when he addresses this pillar is on values.

What are your core values?

If you’re drawing a blank, don’t worry. This can be hard. You can use this wonderful list compiled by Brené Brown to shed light.

Once you’ve identified your core values, lean into them even when you’re doing chores or other seemingly mundane activities, like the dishes or laundry.

This idea always reminds me of a close friend I had in my 20s. We were both recent graduates from college living in Hong Kong, thousands of miles from our families. I remember him saying to me once, “it doesn’t matter what you do. You could be a garbage collector! Whatever it is, do your best and take pride in what you’re doing.”

I her him in my head when I clean the toilet, make the bed, show up on calls, write an essay. Because that is the VALUE behind the action, the intention.

Not surprisingly, the research tells us that having a sense of purpose improves health outcomes and behaviors.

A great practice to help you hone into your purpose and core values, is to do an inquiry. Take that list I linked above and spend some time with it.

See if you can come up with your top 5 values!

As I end this little mini-series, I thought I’d leave you with some words from Dr Davidson about our minds and how we can support them even more.

Many of the most significant challenges in the world today stem directly or indirectly from a failure to nurture the key pillars of well-being. Is such a massive change in mindset possible? I would say emphatically, yes. Consider that when human beings first evolved on the planet, none of us were brushing our teeth. Yet I imagine every one of you reading this essay brushes your teeth. This simple act of personal physical hygiene is not inborn, it’s not a part of our genome. We’ve all learned to do this, and now incorporate teeth brushing into our daily routine. I also suspect that most of you would consider your mind to be even more important than your teeth. Yet most people in the world today do not spend even as little time each day nourishing their mind as they spend brushing their teeth.

Our research, as well as studies by others, clearly indicates that even very short amounts of contemplative practice can make a big difference in one’s well-being. What is a short amount of practice? Our work demonstrates that even 5-6 minutes per day of practicing the skills of well-being can dramatically decrease standardized measures of distress and improve measures of well-being and social connection.

Now that you’ve heard it from the expert, are you in?

Incorporate these 4 habits, work them like muscles, and watch your life transform.

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Experiencing Well-Being Part III

We’re already at the 3rd pillar of well-being!

As a quick review, the first two are:

1.Awareness

-Meaning, the ability to be more present, tuned into your here and now as well as to your mind chatter.

From Dr Davidson directly:

“Awareness: A heightened, flexible attentiveness to one’s environment and internal cues such as bodily sensations, thoughts, and feelings.

Skills: Mindfulness, attention, self-awareness”

2. Connection

– How we are in relationship to ourselves, to others, and to the larger world around us.

From Dr Davidson directly:

Connection: A feeling of care and kinship toward other people, promoting supportive relationships and supportive interactions.

Skills: Appreciation, kindness, compassion

And 3?

Insight

One way to think about insight is that you are the hero of your own story. What are your values, beliefs, expectations? How do you even define your ‘self’?

Insight in this context, is the ability to bring curiosity and objectivity to this idea of ‘self’. Can you be- to think about this in a Buddhist way- the witness to your ‘self’? Can you observe your ‘self’ from a different, neutral perspective?

If you’re willing to do this level of introspection, you may begin to see how the ways you define yourself are based on learned behaviors and societal / familial norms that contribute to how you experience/perceive the world.

Interestingly, the invitation with this isn’t to necessarily change the narrative you have defined for yourself, but to be willing to wear it more lightly, to recognize that you can look at yourself and the world differently.

Why is this?

The science indicates that having a more rigid, inflexible construct of who you are is linked with higher levels of anxiety and depression. Conversely, people who tend to be growth-oriented experience more well-being.

One way to play with this concept is to identify a feeling you’re having in a moment. Take this moment right now. What are you feeling?

Apathy, curiosity, confusion, overwhelm…

• Allow yourself to have curiosity about it.

• Why am I feeling this?

• Does it have a root in something I experienced externally or is it related to a thought I just had?

Dr Davidson refers to this type of inquiry as a form of insight related deconstructive inquiry/meditation. His research notes that people who meditate on this particular concept show “enduring changes in self-related processing in the brain.”

Pretty cool.

Give it a try and see what you think!

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