3 Steps for Anxiety Free Decision Making

What if you’ve spent a ton of time heading down the road to your awesome new promotion, house or relationship when you realize it’s going south fast?

Do you keep your head down, stay on track and ignore the whisper that’s telling you something is wrong?

Or do you cut your losses and come up with a new game plan?

This was me last Saturday.

My daughter, Maya, decided after 9 months of college planning, to scrap her first choice school and begin at square one AGAIN.

She explained that the reality of living in Southern Cal and going to that school didn't match her fantasy of it. In other words, what she thought is was and what it actually was, were two very different things.

As her mom, I was both proud of her and angsty. Because now we had more work to do.

So here’s what we did:

1. Be Willing to Re-Evaluate

Rather than being resolute about sticking to a game plan, allow yourself to consider alternatives. Willingness opens the door to sight, to viewing something with fresh eyes, to the possibility of new opportunities.

You may decide not to go ahead with a new plan, but having the willingness to at least look gives you options and helps you to not feel trapped.

2. Explore Your Options

Give yourself time and space for this part.

Start drawing (even if it’s just a figure 8) or go for a walk so you can access your right brain. This will allow your creativity to flow and help you come up with lots of ideas.

Write every idea down even if it sounds crazy!

3. Look at the Cold Hard Facts

Now it’s time to get clear on your priorities. Take your list of options and evaluate each one. Use your analytical brain for this task.

• What happens if you stay on the original course?
• Where do your other paths lead?

Now ask yourself: What do YOU really want?

In other words, what’s the most important thing for you? Is it square footage? Geography? Paycheck? Commonalities?

Make a list of the pros and cons for each viable possibility.

When you're done, it's time to take action. This is key to combatting stress and anxiety. Getting clear and then moving forward is empowering. Plus now you know exactly what you want and where to go!

Once you have a new plan, you can look back at that sidelining as a blessing. It allowed you to get super clear about exactly what you wanted and which direction to move in. Even if you do stay the original course, now you're even more sure why.

At a crossroads? Share your story with me below!

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Finding Real Belonging

Feel like you don’t belong in your family? In society? In the world?

Me too.

I used to think I was the only one who felt like this. Something was terribly wrong with me - I was flawed, broken because I felt disconnected. Everyone around me seemed content, loved, successful. They were all normal and happy.

Why wasn’t I?

Then I convinced myself that there must be a place, an actual physical place, where I could feel all of that- where I genuinely belonged.

So I went looking. First I crossed the country, from Boston to Portland. Then I went to Asia- Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia. I even tried the Middle East and Europe.

I thought I’d found it in Bali, but no…

It took fifteen long years for me to clue in.

The place I was looking for was inside of me, it was me.

True belonging is about connecting to your heart, to your core, to the YOU within you.

I finally had to stop “searching” and dive in.

If feeling alone and alienated resonates with you, here are the steps to your salvation:

1. Be Present With You

Stop running away from yourself. Happy, sad, angry, suffering. Be okay with whatever you feel right now. There’s so much power in moving into the pain or discomfort. That’s where true healing lies. In seeing what’s really real for you every second of every day.

A super powerful way to dive right into this is to do mirror work. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you. I really, really love you.”

The first time I did this, I started sobbing. Now I smile.

2. Connect

Even though peace and abiding happiness come from within you, we are social creatures. How can you feel more connected to like-minded people? Is there a faith based organization or spiritual center that you resonate with nearby? Is there a book group or club doing things you enjoy?

3. Seek Refuge

In Buddhism, you often hear the phrase, “Seek refuge in the Buddha, dharma and sangha.”

I love the word refuge because to me, it’s a place of safety, a place to lick your wounds, replenish and be refilled.

I interpret this Buddhist phrase to mean that:

• First we find our salvation and our home through connection to God-the Universe-Oneness (Buddha).

What path speaks to you? What form of the divine can you connect to?

Is it Buddha, Tara, or any one of the Hindu gods or goddesses? Jesus or Virgin Mary? Is it the great earth Mother? Nature? Or simply that which is un-nameable? The great unknown?

• Second, commit to a practice. This is dharma. The way of right action and right living.

Find a teaching- book, lectures, etc. where the words resonate with your beliefs. There are countless paths and ways: Bible, Talmud, Koran, A Course In Miracles, Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, Buddhist scripture, Wiccan, Pagan, Celtic, Native American...

Maybe you want a teacher who speaks to you.

Here are some resources to check out:

1. Hay House Radio (or their website)
2. Lion’s Roar (for Buddhist teachers)
3. Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays
4. Krista Tippet’s Podcast, On Being

• Third, connect to others who are on a similar path.

This is sangha, or satsang. It is spiritual community. Seek out your spirit brothers and sisters. It’s hard to do this work, and we all need love and support. This is where community comes in.

Truly, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. This is why the world feels unnatural because we don’t really belong here. And yet, here we are, contracted to experience human existence in all its messiness and glory.

Isn’t it time to fully embrace it and genuinely live it open heartedly and unapologetically?

I say yes. And welcome to the club.

Where will you start? Share your ideas just below the blog!

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5 Strategies To Deal with Uncertainty

Sometimes the news feels like too much.

• Hurricanes
• Earthquakes
• Fires
• Threat of Nuclear War

I wouldn’t blame you if you just wanted to stick your head in the sand, or in a pint of ice cream and check out by binge watching Game of Thrones.

I used to do that all the time.

As soon as the anxiety would flutter into me, I’d run straight to the cupboard and eat my way into not feeling it anymore.

But then I realized there was another way to deal with anxiety and uncertainty.

Here’s my top 5:

1. Feel It

One of the things I learned when I overcame my binge eating disorder was that I was eating because I didn’t want to feel negative emotions – like fear, anxiety or uncertainty. Instead I buried them under pounds of junk food.

Now I allow myself to experience those uncomfortable emotions in my body. I feel my stomach clench, my lungs that want to start panting, my heart palpitating.

And then I look out my eyes at my surrounding world and ask myself:

Am I okay right now?

Am I safe in this present moment?

Almost always the answer is YES.

2. Get Grounded

Often when we get scared or anxious, we want to avoid or distract ourselves.

Instead, see if you can come down, come into the present moment.

The easiest way to do this is by breathing.

Take a deep breath and allow your entire body to relax. Breathing oxygenates the body and immediately grounds us.

So that rather than emotionally reacting to a situation or a perceived threat, you can feel more centered, and have more clarity and insight.

3. Ask for Guidance

Information, like action, reduces anxiety. Do some research about the situation whether it’s a storm, stock market fluctuation or political threat.

After you’ve read, use your discernment and ask:

What’s real?

What’s hype?

What do you believe?

Then take a moment to check in with yourself. What feels right for you? Use your internal compass to help guide you.

4. Avoid Chaos

The world is filled with craziness and in our highly networked, 24-hour news cycle, life can feel increasingly stressful. We now hear about every disaster the world over, natural or man made – from droughts and climate change to drownings and even genocide.

You need information to make smart decisions however, watching too much news or spending excessive time on social media can increase anxiety.

Avoid falling into the swirl of chaos by being mindful of your exposure.

Know your ability to manage information so it doesn’t overwhelm you. Be kind to yourself and know when you’ve had enough.

5. Seek Peace

Who or what in your life helps you feel connected, relaxed and peaceful?

Are there friends or family members, perhaps a chaplain or monk, whose presence offers solace?

Maybe you prefer a boat ride? A walk in the woods, or on a beach. Perhaps visiting a garden or even gardening will bring peace.

Some find baths and massages work wonders and bring relaxation.

Others enjoy crafts.

Meditation is always a popular way to feel more comforted.

Incorporate ONE of these ideas into your life every day and see how much that supports your mindset and eases the uncertainty.

Life is filled with the unknown. And even though it can cause us anxiety, it’s also ripe with opportunity, and excitement.

But when you find yourself feeling dread about the future, lean on these 5 tools to bring you back to a place of clarity, peace and presence.

Which one will you try first? Leave a comment below!

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Feel More Deeply Connected: 3 Simple Ways

Let’s face it, life, especially in the USA, has felt polarized and chaotic. Even Mother Nature seems to agree. Forest fires from Montana to California, and TWO Category 4 Hurricanes making landfall in a matter of weeks.

This is NOT a political message, this is a call to action.

Because when I think about the devastation in Houston, along the coasts in Florida and in swaths of land across the west, the message seems loud and clear.

All it took was seeing the Facebook video of the line of pickup trucks towing boats toward Houston to know.

These disasters are a reminder for us to come together.

It's time for us to put our differences – be they race, gender, ethnicity, political view, education or religion – to the side and remember that underneath all of that, we are all human beings who share the same needs and wants.

If you’re ready to lay down those outer differences and step back into a bigger picture, and if you’re willing to hold a higher vibration, here a 3 actionable steps you can take right now:

1. Reach Out

Who in your community needs support or help?

Wherever you are – from New York City to Santa Barbara, Cape Town to Wellington- there are people and animals who are suffering.

Contact a local shelter, community organization or religious institution. Maybe a food pantry needs donations or volunteers. Perhaps an elderly neighbor could use some help raking leaves. The local pet shelter might need dog walkers.

Don’t have time? Find a local organization or environmental cause you care about and make a financial donation.

2. Start A Conversation

For all that technology has enhanced our lives, it’s made it easier for us to ignore true human interaction. I’m talking real face-to-face time.

Make it a goal to meet ONE new person a week.

It could be in the supermarket, at church, at a yoga class… and beam love at him or her. This isn’t about trying to find common ground or being persuasive, it’s simply about showing up as the embodiment of love.

Because if we really want to shift the vibration of our world, we all have to step into the frequency of love.

3. Find A Bigger Pond

What, apart from your family and job, are you passionate about? Arts? Social Justice? The environment? Is there a cause that you’d like to see transformed or well funded? How could you get involved?

Last weekend, I went to a free theater production of The Odyssey, a musical based on Homer’s classic epic. It was done by Public Works Seattle, an organization committed to being theater of by and for the people.

Nearly the entire cast was volunteers (except for the main parts) and came from their partner organizations: local Boys & Girls Clubs, senior centers, and homeless transition programs. The performance was fun, professional and inspiring.

And it's exactly what I’m talking about, being a part of something bigger than you.

What do you say?

It’s so easy to fall into us versus them thinking, or to feel like everyone is doing better than you. But if you’re ready to move that aside, there’s plenty to do. And as we come together and celebrate each other, we not only heal ourselves, we heal one another.

Are you ready?

Let me know what you plan to do! Leave a comment below.

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The Real Inside Job: 4 Ways to Harness the Power of Your Mind

Okay, I admit it. I have a monkey mind.

I love that Buddhist expression because it encapsulates exactly how it feels. My thoughts skitter and jump. They careen from ideas about breakfast to forest fires, to my kids.

My mind can work non-stop. It’s just how I’m wired.

Some days I’m good at ignoring it. Other days, not so much. But then, when I catch myself going down yet another rabbit hole of triviality, I remember to use the tools.

Here’s a quick list to help you stay focused, feel present and harness the power of your over-active mind:

1. Meditation

Meditation can initially feel like punishment to the mind. The thought of sitting and doing nothing, thinking about nothing is sheer torture. And yet, what meditation really is, is mind training.

It helps you remember that you’re not your thoughts.

It allows you to connect to the infinite.

It creates serenity and peace.

Commit to sitting 5-minutes a day.

Listen to some peaceful music, follow a guided meditation. Check out Insight Timer. It’s a free meditation app.

2. Affirmation

When you take charge of your thoughts, you rule your life. 

Don’t you want happy thoughts? Kind thoughts? Loving thoughts?

Louise Hay, who died last week, was a genius at this. Not only did she understand the power of thought, she grasped the power of words to help mold them.

I call her the Queen of Affirmations. She had positive statements posted around her house and used them constantly, like mantra, all day long.

Here are a few of my top favorites from her:

• Life loves me.
• I love and approve of myself right now.
• I am safe in the universe and all of life loves and supports me.
• I am willing to forgive.

Affirmation is a way to re-wire your brain and move from negative, self destructive, or potentially harmful thoughts to ones that support and nurture.

3. Intention

I was talking to my girlfriend over the weekend and she was telling me about her daily practice of setting intentions.

She told me she’s been focused on manifesting things she wants in her life right now. One of them was to get great paying work that she really enjoyed. Sure enough, the jobs keep pouring in.

Then she said she wanted to meet other women with whom she felt a deep, heart connection. In a few weeks, she’s met three!

Be clear on what you want in your life. Set goals – both long term and short term. And then say them everyday.

What we think, say and then do, manifests!

4. Take Action

One of the best ways to focus the mind and stop it from perseverating, is to take action.

Sometimes on Sunday nights I’ll lie in bed and think about all the things I have to do on Monday. If I let it, it can cause me stress. But then I began to notice that as soon as I started knocking those things off the list, my stress was gone.

Action.

I also recognized that when I exercise regularly, my mind is much more calm and focused.

Action.

Your mind is so powerful. Isn’t it time for you to be in charge and direct the show? Use these 4 simple strategies to experience not only more peace in your life but success and happiness too.

Let me know how your progress goes! Leave a comment below the blog.

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What The Eclipse Taught Me About Faith

The week before the eclipse life felt tense, unsettled, frustrating. Curiously, the eclipse seemed to clear the air!

So why not use it as a reset?

Because, more than anything, this eclipse experience reminded me to have faith.

What is faith?

Faith is a decision to believe in something you cannot verify.

For me, it's an act of letting go of fear, of control, of a desired outcome, and relaxing into a space of grace, of knowing that all is well, that I am safe and life is good.

I’d heard about the eclipse for months but had blown it off until a few weeks ago when my husband was eager to go. Since we waited so long to make plans, the closest motel we could find was 3 hours from the path of totality in Oregon.

We decided to book it anyway and drive from Washington on Monday morning as far south as we could get.

As Monday grew closer, reports about the number of people descending on Oregon circulated. The governor had called up the National Guard. It would be a traffic nightmare.

Then we heard no one was allowed to watch from the side of the road. Now where would we go? None of this helped my anxiety.

Getting ready on Sunday morning for our 36-hour road trip. I sat to meditate and got a gentle reminder. It was a voice I often hear, kind, wise and loving.

It said, “Relax. Everything always works out perfectly.”

Up until that moment, my entire week had been emotional, angsty, difficult so it was the exact reminder I needed.

Driving east, we encountered no traffic and decided to stop and walk around a picturesque mountain lake before heading into town.

That night at the motel, I got confirmation from an Oregon rancher I’d contacted that we could park on his land. Relieved that we had a destination and wouldn’t be hassled by police, we left early Monday morning, hoping to make it all the way to totality.

Again there was no traffic.

In less than 3 hours, we arrived in time to enjoy the sun rise over the high desert, the smell of Juniper in the breeze.

Before I knew it, the eclipse began.

A quick hour passed and then came the 90 seconds of totality. The temperature dropped, the sky darkened to resemble twilight. The sun was a ball of white wavy lines dancing and swirling around the shadow of the moon. It was nothing I’d imagined.

And then it was over.

The bright sun and warmth returned and soon and we were on our way home, ambling along small highways and by-ways, following rivers and canyons. In the afternoon, we crested Mt Rainier and stopped to take in the Cascade range, the fields of wild flowers and the snowy glacier.

Even though it took 9 hours, it was an absolute joy ride.

Back at home, feeling refreshed and renewed, I’m reminded to have faith.

Like me, use the eclipse as a reset.

Remember that everything is possible when you bring to mind 3 things:

1. Relax

When you relax, it stops the mind whir.

It cancels out anxiety.

It brings you back to the breath. And you come into the moment.

2. Affirm that everything always turns out perfectly

When I start to get anxiety about a situation- be it financial, professional or logistical- one of the ways I deal with those negative feelings and mind chatter is to look at the past.

Whenever I have dealt with a similar situation it has easily been resolved.

~My bills always get paid.

~I consistently arrive at my destination safely.

~I’ve successfully done (a similar task) in the past.

Simply because this is a“new” situation does not mean it will be any different.

3. Go for It

This is the reminder to do whatever it is that you’re afraid to do

-with confidence

-with eyes wide open

-with certainty that the outcome is assured

Usually what happens is better than you even expected!

How does faith or lack of faith show up in your life?

Try using these 3 steps to help you move into the future with greater confidence, assurance and ease. Life certainly feels more exciting and vibrant when we jump in and stretch ourselves.

Let me know how it goes!

Or share your eclipse story with me and leave a comment below!

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Live a Passion Filled Life In 3 Simple Steps

Have you ever met someone and been truly inspired?

That happened to me with my first yoga teacher, Jayanta. His classes immersed us in bhakti or devotion. With every pose that we did, it wasn't about sweating or getting a work out, it was prayer in motion.

It was an act of connecting to the divine and expressing that love through movement.

Recently we reconnected and it inspired me to remember to infuse life with love and embrace prayer in action.

Because everything we do – from brushing our teeth, to mowing the lawn, to making a phone call - is an opportunity to share the love of God and to celebrate being alive.

Each person is an incarnation of the beloved. God is in all of us, shining forth. So as you go about your day, see if you can embrace this essence of prayer-filled living.

It’s simple and requires only 3 things:

1. Awareness

Awareness is the choice to be present in all things.

I once had a friend who told me to be proud of whatever job you have, do it with gusto and put in 100% effort. He said, “even if I was a garbage man, I’d do it to the best of my ability.”

I’ve never forgotten his words. He was suggesting to be fully present and aware in everything you do. Do it with pride, care and diligence.

When you choose this attitude, you feel alive, capable, satisfied and attuned to life in a deep and fulfilling way.

2. Practice Gratitude

When I have thanks in the moment for my life, my entire chest expands. I feel spacious, full, rich, content.

Try it right now.

Look around you and think of 3 things you’re grateful for in your life. Inhale that feeling. Don’t you feel bigger and more expansive?

All the research tells us that gratitude is THE fastest way to experience happiness. Gratitude is also an excellent way to feel alive, present and to view the world through the eyes of love.

A wonderful short video to help you experience gratitude was done by Louie Shwartzberg. He uses his exquisite time-lapse nature photography while you listen to Brother David Steindl-Rast , a Benedictine monk, describe exactly what gratitude is. This film is one of my most favorite TedTalks. Check it out here

3. Foster Empathy

Empathy is compassion, or caring about others because you have either experienced a similar pain or can put yourself in that person’s shoes.

An excellent example of empathy at work is Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12-step program. People who are active alcoholics go there for help and support. They are not judged – often for the first times in their lives. Instead, they are embraced and supported by other recovering addicts who know exactly what it feels like to walk into that room, wanting to stop but are scared to death.

We know from studies that it is low and medium income people who are often the most generous donors to charities which may be surprising when you think their incomes aren’t as high as say, a hedge fund manager.

Yet, there have been times in my life when I was one pay check away from homelessness. We can relate, we have empathy.

Infuse this day and every day with the power of love. Allow grace to wash over you and through you as you meet this moment with compassion, awareness, and gratitude.

Life feels so much more fulfilling, rich and satisfying when we choose to see everything as love, as God, as one.

See if you can be the beloved and infuse your life with that love.

Let me know what YOU think! leave a comment below.

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3 Must Haves For A Happy & Rich Spiritual Life

What does it mean to be “spiritual”?

That word gets thrown around a lot.

Sometimes spirituality can sound serious. Like when people talk about "mind training." That phrase can feel daunting and complicated. 

Other times spirituality can sound airy-fairy, when people talk to angels, or leave food out for the little people.

For me, leading a “spiritual” life means committing to God but also to humanity.

In other words it’s about being in the world, aware and conscious, with a wide-open heart, while also deeply connecting to the one-ness, to God, to source.

In the decades that I've been studying and living this truth, I've discovered that there are 3 things you need to have a grounded, rich, soul filled life.

1. A Healthy Body

Have you ever tried to meditate when you’re sick?

If you have, then you know exactly why this is here.

It’s so hard to focus the mind and sit still when the body is aching, or out of alignment.

Care for your body.

Treat it like the temple that it is for it houses your soul on earth. AND it’s here with you on this journey the entire time.

Your body is your constant companion.

Eat healthy foods.

Move.

Treat your body with the love and respect it deserves.

2. Heal Your Mind

I don’t know one adult who hasn’t experienced suffering.

As Buddhism reminds us, this is one of the Four Noble Truths; life is suffering.

For some, this can be physical – starvation, deprivation, illness.

For all of us, it is emotional.

And here’s the dirty little secret: what you don’t deal with, your unconscious material, rules your life.

Be willing to examine that anger, lack of trust, anxiety or depression.

Often these symptoms hark back to unresolved issue from childhood. Common ones are: feeling unloved, abandoned or unsupported.

How can you release that old pattern or limiting belief?

Does it involve forgiveness, a frank discussion with someone, creating healthy boundaries?

What you don’t see has all the power. So make the invisible visible and walk through the pain.

Whenever I get scared of doing this, I’m reminded of a passage in A Road Less Traveled, by M Scott Peck in which he says:

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

Pain can be the great transformer because it can push us to change, learn, grow and evolve.

It also helps us remember that we are not our neurosis.

We are in fact already whole and healed, perfect in every way. We just have to remember and re-align to that.

So be willing to ground yourself both in your physical body and your mind.

3. Maintain a Practice

Whatever it is that you are inclined to do: prayer, breath work, meditation, yoga, free dance, chanting, ritual, mantra…

Make it a habit. Commit to it every day.

It is the only way to truly shift and release.

Whatever you experience during meditation, eventually you will come back to this present, the here and now and to this body and mind.

That’s why it’s critical that your mind and body are strong and healthy. As you build your spiritual muscles and gain more power, you have to be able to hold it. This is why you need a strong physical and mental constitution.

What’s your favorite way to nurture your mind, body or spirit?

Leave a comment below. Let’s get inspired by one another!

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A Love Contract? 4 Ways to Write One

I’d never really though about having a contract for an intimate relationship until I read an article in the New York Times about it.

At first, it seemed crazy to “formalize” love.

But then I realized the author, Mandy Len Catron's, idea had merit. And, it reminded me that, in essence, my husband and I have this.

Well, not exactly.

We never created a written contract that we sign and annually review, like the one Mandy has. Instead, we have agreements or tenets that define our relationship.

Ours are simple:

1. Honor the God in Each Other

This means that we want the best for one another, that we truly see each other, and that we love one another from this higher space.

2. Share Everything

We talk about everything. And this commitment means that we are willing to have the hard conversations and be vulnerable with one another.

3. Don’t Go to Bed Angry

This is the most specific one. It's a reminder to share everything EVEN when talking about hurt feelings is the last thing I want to do.

4. Make Decisions Jointly

When it comes to big decisions, we do our best to consult one another. Having two heads on an issue provides more insight, clarity and thought. It is also a way to respect one another and value each other.

Mandy Len Catron and her partner, on the other hand, have a detailed contract outlining the various facets and complexities of co-habitation. Their contract is annual, up for renewal and revision every year.

And this was what I appreciated the most, its fluidity. Each partner has an opportunity to discuss their needs – be it emotional, physical or sexual. It allows them to talk about all the issues that couples frequently struggle with – money, sex, emotional vulnerability.

I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now and we know each other pretty well. But when I think about starting again, like if we had just decided to get together, I might have embraced the idea of a contract, an agreement that’s more detailed and explicit. It certainly makes sense.

If you feel like you want a contract or even a set of principles upon which to base your relationship, here are 4 ways to get started:

1.  Have a Conversation

What’s important to you? What topics would you want to include? Where are each of you willing to compromise?

2. What Are Your Shared Values?

For my husband and me, it was about wanting the best for one another, wanting to support each other in being our highest selves. Everything fell into place after that.

How do you feel about intimacy? Children? Spirituality? Retirement? Politics?

3. Make A Budget

Money creates so much tension and animosity. Decide together what your goals are. What is joint? What is separate? Who pays for what? 

4. State Your Needs

Be honest about what you really need from a partner. People aren’t mind readers. Tell your significant other what you need, what you want, and how to best take care of you.

Whether you’re just starting out or have been in a relationship for a decade, these conversations are vital to keep those channels open and help you create a deeper, more intimate, loving and fulfilling relationship.

Let me know how it goes! What would you add to your contract? Jot down your ideas under the blog.

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Interested in the article? Here’s a link

Get Your Groove Back: 3 Easy Steps to Re-Awaken Creativity

Stuck in a rut?

Feel like you’re creative juices have dried up?

Let’s face it. This happens to ALL of us especially if you have a deadline or are starting a fresh, new project.

But here’s the great news. It’s actually pretty easy to fan that flame.

Check out these 3 ways to get going again:

1. Move

This is actually two ideas in one:

The first is to physically move your body.

Get out of that office chair, quit standing behind that easel and go for a walk.

Moving does a few things.

It oxygenates the body. It also frees your mind to begin free-associating. This can help you solve a problem or resolve an issue. Steve Jobs often walked when he wanted to think out a problem and frequently invited other people to go with him and brainstorm!

The second is to change locations.

Go and work somewhere else.

This is like magic for me.

Normally, I work at home but am just as likely as you to get stuck. When I feel this coming on, I go to a café, park bench or someplace where I can work undisturbed. 

Sometimes you just need a change of scenery.

2. Be inspired

Creativity can be jumpstarted by something you see, hear or read.

Exposing yourself to other ideas can act like a springboard and launch you into a new thought or way of seeing something.

Maybe you read a great article and it inspires a blog post or you see a cool sculpture at a gallery and it gets you thinking about how you could draw it. Magazines come in handy, too, for ideas about decorating, new clothing outfits or dinner menu ideas.

Ready to find inspiration?

Check out your local library for magazines, see what visual or performing arts shows are happening in your local area, browse Pinterest or Etsy for ideas. You can even google a topic (like creativity) and see what the search brings.

3. Collaborate

Sometimes if you’re really stuck, it helps to talk it out.

Call up a friend or colleague, explain what’s going on.

It can often be easier for an outside person to provide clarity than it is for you to cut through your own stuck-ness.

We can often be blind to the most obvious thing.

Share where you are and where you want to go. 

Sometimes just saying the words out loud brings the solution.

We are all creative. And we all fall into slumps. 

So the next time you need a little kick start, try these tips and see what happens!

AND be sure to let me know! Leave me a comment below or shoot me an email!

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5 Secrets Successful People Know

Have you ever asked yourself what success really means to you?

Look around. People hurry and rush, busy chasing someone else’s definition of success – be it a parent, society, or cultural expectation.

Isn't it time to define success for yourself?

Take a minute, well okay, maybe 20, and dive in.

Ask yourself:

1. What does success look like?

Is it a big house? A fancy car?

Is it your own business?

Is it lots of money in the bank, thousands of Twitter followers or being on Oprah?

Most people have the idea that lots of money = success.

But what if earning that big bank account meant you worked 15 hours a day and always felt stressed out and tired? What if it meant you had to rip people off or be dishonest?

Is that the life you really want?

Make a list or envision what success looks like to you.

When I started this inquiry, I realized that for me success meant freedom: the freedom to do what I love AND love what I do. The freedom to have my own schedule and be my own boss. The freedom to decide every day what I was going to do!

2. How does success feel?

This is critical. Because a genuine definition of success isn’t just about what you want, it’s about how you experience every day of your life.

Do you want to just survive, go through the motions, live for the weekend? Or do you want to really thrive and feel genuinely excited, fulfilled, rewarded and passionate?

I see many clients who strive to please someone else, to earn someone’s love or to feel respected.

But all of these are external drivers.

What if you could be loved, accepted and appreciated no matter what?

Would that change what you were doing right now?

Would you stop working your corporate job and instead start a non-profit to help animals?

Write down exactly how success feels to you.

For me, it's about being excited and passionate about what I do so I orient myself towards joy. Then I ask, what fuels my creativity and energizes me? What makes me happy?

My answer is simple. It’s sharing and giving – helping others, writing (about things I’ve learned, a-has I’ve had), and in being visually creative.

3. How do you want your life to be?

Lately, as I start my morning run, overlooking the Puget Sound, the sun on my face, I think, “it doesn’t get better than this.”

Vision your life.

Are you surrounded by loving friends and family?

Are you alone in a large mansion?

Are you active and engaged in service to others or for a cause that feels meaningful?

See yourself not only in a “work” environment but holistically.

Where are you living and with whom? Do you have time to exercise, meditate, play? Are there ample funds and time for health and holidays?

4. Take Action

Now that you've defined exactly what success is, what it looks like and feels like, it’s time to jump in.

What’s the first thing you can do to move closer to having that experience of success in your life right now?

List three actions you can take this week.

Do this EVERY week, maybe even every day!

5. Persevere

Changing habits and re-aligning yourself to your new definition of success takes time and patience.

But now that you’re clear about where you want to go, and have actions to help get you there, you only need to keep going.

Simply remember Dory’s little song from Finding Nemo. “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.” And before you know it, your life will feel full, rich, rewarding and successful!

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3 Ways to Be More Mindful Every Day

Are you ready to feel more aware, caring and mindful?

Do you want to appreciate the spring flowers, savor that fresh cup of coffee, or be fully present with others?

But instead, you find yourself distracted in the moment, either internally by the cascading river of thoughts, or externally by demands from traffic, job, family, smartphone… In other words, the chaos of life.

What if there was a way to step into the silence even if only for a moment?

Of course the best way to do this is through meditation, having a daily practice, (click here to get started).

AND by taking that essence out into the world and living it.

Here are three ways to bring mindfulness into your every day:

1. Intend Your Day

Every morning when you wake up, decide how you want your day to be.

Happy? Disappointing? Exciting? Frustrating?

Take a moment to envision it.

What will you do? How will it progress? Will it be easy or hard?

Intentionally or unintentionally, you decide how you want your day to be from the moment it starts.

Infuse this time with clarity, with mindfulness, with right thinking. So that your day can reflect exactly what you want.

I like to use affirmation to support my visioning.

“I see myself vibrant and healthy, engaged and creative. I know I will live this day to the fullest and savor every moment of it.”

2. Cultivate Appreciation

Appreciation is perspective.

Appreciation is noticing all the little things in life that are working, going well, successful. It’s recognizing the love you feel for your husband, and appreciating the bond you have. It’s honoring your body, and having gratitude for it’s incredible capacity to heal and support you. It’s recognizing all the abundance and beauty that surrounds you in every moment.

When I lived in Hong Kong, a very busy, dirty (and smelly!) city, most evenings as I boarded the ferry to head home, I’d gaze out at the shimmering harbor that perfectly reflected the sun setting across the skyscrapers. Sheer beauty.

It’s even about appreciating the hard things in life as lessons to be learned or challenges to overcome.

3. Return to Now

If you find yourself distracted during the day by the chatter in your head, take a deep breath and come back to now.

I have a very active mind so it is common that as I do a task or listen to someone, a voice offers ongoing commentary in my mind.

Nowadays this voice is quieter and I’m able to more easily silence it.

But the first step is to become aware of this mind habit. “Oh look, I’ve just gone down the rabbit hole and am miles away, thinking about my trip to Hawaii instead of here sitting at the table with you.”

When this happens, take a deep breath, oxygenate yourself and re-focus. Listen to your friend in the here and now, finish that assignment, close the deal.

Mindfulness is really about mind training and creating new habits. Use these three tools to help you build those muscles and experience more happiness, gratitude and love in every moment.

What will you do?

I'd love to hear which one of these resonates with you? Leave me a comment below ~ I'll see you there!

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Step Into Your Future: 3 Ways to Manifest Exactly What You Want

Last weekend I attended a writer’s conference. There were classes and opportunities to network but most importantly, I got to pitch my book to potential agents.

Before I went, I was kind of nervous.

I had never done anything like that before.

What if none of the agents were interested?

Even when we want something to happen, dream about it, and vision it, we can be afraid when we’re looking right at it.

Which is why I found the guidance from a recent meditation so helpful. My anxiety was swirling when I heard a very distinctive voice. She cut right through the chaos and said, “Step into your future. The door is right there, in front of you.”

Whoa.

I looked and saw exactly what she meant.

If you’re standing on a threshold too, about to walk into your new future, here are 3 ways to make it real.

1. Believe It

It isn’t enough to vision. You have to see a new version of you.

See yourself having passed the test, already earning that killer salary at the hospital, happy and successful in your new social media job.

Once you really envision it wholly, then you can believe it. Within every part of your being, you have to embrace this version of you, know it is real, true and right.

This is knowing on a cellular level.

It's meant to be. You can feel it.

2. Own It

When I was facing my anxiety about finding an agent, I flipped the tables and looked at it through their perspective. I am a talented, successful, healthy, vibrant person.

I am a gift to them!

Step into your own magnificence and greatness. See how much you are bringing to your new job, organization or partnership. Allow yourself to fully embrace exactly what YOU offer.

In my home office, I have Macrina Wiederkehr’s quote, “Oh God, help me to believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful!”

When you own our magnificence, you radiate it out!

3. Live As If

Whatever your dreams and aspirations for the future are, they are only ONE step away. So live right now as if they have already occurred.

This is moving out of lack thinking - of being in the place of wanting - into a space of satisfaction, abundance and gratitude.

One of the ways I do this is through gratitude.

I say thank you for finding me the right and perfect agent, thank you for landing me a lucrative publishing deal, thank you for the money that pours in from seen and unseen sources…

Get the idea?

What hasn't already happened that you're grateful for?

Perfect health? A loving partnership? 

When you step into the vibration of who you want to be and how you want to show up in the world, you attract exactly what you desire.

Your future is right here, right now. It’s so exciting. The threshold beckons. The world needs your insight, guidance, creativity and love.  

I see the doorway, you’ve just stepped through!

Tell me what you desire, leave a comment below and I'll help manifest it by seeing you there!

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Procrastinate Tomorrow: 5 Ways To Push Through

For many of us, procrastination feels like the bane of our existence.

It’s the voice saying, “I know I should be…,” the project you just don’t have time for, or the dream going unfulfilled.

I used to procrastinate with everything. I’d drag my feet, wait until the last minute, freak out and then just before the deadline, get it done. But after awhile, I realized that my pattern was causing so much stress. I hated feeling the pressure and tension.

That’s when I decided to make some adjustments in how I approached my life. And here’s what I found most useful:

1. Just Start

What you’re dealing with is the mind, your own resistance to taking action.

Be gentle with yourself. Suggest that you do one thing, one small act: an email, a blog post, a phone call, a walk around the park, reading 10 pages of your assignment.

Do one thing to get you started.

For whatever reason, the mind is fearful- fear of change, of growing, of an unknown. And the best way to deal with fear is to take action.

When you don’t take action, you’re stuck in the loop.

The mind is always saying, “you know you should be reading, researching, walking…” You ignore the voice and watch TV, eat chips, do the crossword puzzle. But it’s still there, like a broken record.

I was most chronic with this about exercising. And one day my Dad said to me, “You’d have been done hours ago if you’d just gone for a run. Think of all the time and energy you’ve wasted thinking about it.”

Stop thinking about what to do and take action.

2. Small Pieces

Sometimes a project can seem or feel overwhelming. It’s a massive undertaking. Something you’ve never done before. Where do you start?

Break it down into steps or pieces.

Think about your project as stepping stones. What is the first thing that needs to get done? And the second?

When we put things into bite size pieces, it suddenly doesn’t feel as overwhelming or huge.

Now it’s manageable.

I took a writing class recently and the instructor was talking about completing a manuscript, which, as you can imagine, consists of many chapters. (and chapters are comprised of scenes.) She suggested you write the titles of every scene on scraps of paper, cut them up and throw them into a jar. Then when you’re ready to sit down and write, you pull one of your pieces of paper out of the jar and write that scene.

Talk about bite size pieces!

3. Schedule Time

There’s a huge project on your horizon. You’ve decided to break it into small pieces. Now make sure that you schedule it out.

Plot out over time exactly when you're going to do each piece.

When I was completing my Master’s program in Social Work, I was taking care of my family and had a full time job so time was tight. The only way I was able to manage the workload was to create a schedule. 

At the beginning of the semester, I reviewed everything I was required to do: tests, papers, presentations, and then I scheduled them – when I would work on each one - which days, which projects.

And then I did it.

Some days I definitely did not want to, but it was what I had to do in order to stay sane and complete all the work.

4. Ask For Help

A number of years ago, I was tasked with accrediting the school my husband and I founded. That process required clearly communicating all of the school’s operating procedures and processes through writing and massive documentation.

I had never done a project like that. It was enormous and felt totally overwhelming.

I created a timeline and broke down each part so I knew exactly what I had to do by a certain date. But even then I watched myself delay.

That’s’ when I realized I needed help. I needed to understand exactly how to complete the accreditation paperwork. So I went and received professional training which I was able to do for free!

Getting the help you need can be key.

What do you feel like you don’t know? Who can help you?

5. Create Space

Where is your special spot for work, exercise, creativity?

Overcoming procrastination is about creating healthy habits and one of the easiest ways to do that is to have a designated space. When you go to this specific place, you’re ready to work, play, draw or run.

I know a woman who always carries her gym bag in her car. That way she has no excuse for not going to exercise after work. She creates the opportunity.

Clean off that desk, create a beautiful space for you to want to be in to get those exciting projects done!

As Robert Holden reminds us, “procrastinate tomorrow.”

Nowadays when I find myself not wanting to begin a project, I will actually say those words to myself and they help me get going. I pick one thing to start and before I know it, the entire day has flown by!

Let me know how it goes for you.

Which of the above do you think is most helpful? Leave me a comment below!

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Shift Your Life With Mantra

Feel like your life needs a shift?

Have you considered trying mantra?

A mantra is a word or phrase that, according to Yogic philosophy (Vedanta), has power.

The story is that the ancient sages, (Rishi) could hear the vibrations of everything in nature and made these sounds into words and phrases known as mantra.

Mantra is the literal creation of form from energy.

I’ve used mantra on and off. But the first one that I chose for myself was in 2000, when I moved to Florida. I decided to learn a long chant called the Hanuman Chalisa that an Indian friend of mine had been reading in Sanskrit.

The Hanuman Chalisa is 40 verses dedicated to the monkey God, Hanuman, the god of service and devotion. Purportedly, doing this mantra gives the practitioner Hanuman’s grace.

All those years ago, I sang that long song every day – initially for forty days in a row – but then kept going, memorizing it completely.

Excited by the results, I tried other ones.

But, to be honest, I hadn’t done mantra in a really long time, well, not until a few weeks ago.

I’d been sick and was ready for a shift, physically, energetically, emotionally. I needed to kick myself into a new space of action and clarity. And what better way to do that than to create sacred space with ritual?

I bought flowers, lit incense, offered some fruits and sweets and lit the candle on my altar. I rang the bell and called to the gods and goddesses, and then I did mantra.

The one I chose was to Laxmi, the goddess of prosperity. Om Shree Maha Laxmi, Namaha.

After I finished the mantra and my subsequent meditation, I realized I wanted to continue doing this mantra for forty days. We say forty days because that’s the approximate time it takes to change a habit.

If you’re ready to give mantra a try, here are the details.

1. Choose a word or phrase to repeat

2. A mantra can be given by a teacher and/or it can be chosen by a student

Think about what you would like in your life right now: strength, peace, clarity, insight.

Use your intuition to guide you to sources that might have a good selection.

Read through each mantra and it’s meaning before making a choice. Then try it for a few days and see how it feels.

3. The goal is to repeat the mantra for forty consecutive days

Mantra is said to gain power the more it is repeated.

4. Say it once a day or, if you like, choose a number of repetitions

Hindus traditionally do 108.

Repeating a mantra is just like doing rosary.

In Sanskrit, this is called Japa (to repeat). Normally practitioners use a Japa mala, the Hindu equivalent of a rosary. Hindu mala are made with either 27, 54 or 108 beads. It is customary to count mantra in sets of 108.

There are many reasons the number 108 is significant in Hinduism. It is said that there are 108 names for the Goddess. There are also 54 letters in the Sanskrit alphabet. (54 x 2 = 108) Apparently there are also 108 energy lines that cross our bodies, intersecting at our chakras and converging at the heart center. 

If you decide to repeat your mantra, place the mala in your right hand and count each bead with your thumb as it slides over your index finger. The larger guru bead or meru (mountain) bead is where you begin (but don’t count it!) When you hit it again, you know you’ve done one round.

But remember, if you miss a day, start over again at day 1!

5. When you’re ready, find a comfortable place to sit.

Close your eyes.

If you choose, have your japa mala in your right hand.

Focus on correctly pronouncing the sound, word or phrase of your mantra silently or aloud.

If you don’t have a japa mala or feel daunted by this part, simply say your mantra once a day, or use your fingers and say it ten times. The point is to use mantra for clarity, invocation, and grounding.

You can use a Sanskrit one or say a word or phrase that resonates with you.

If you’re interested in a Sanskirt one, here is a short list:

• Om: (vibration of the universe, the word that means God, it has also been translated to mean:  Everything; it is, will be, will become
• Shanti: Peace
• Om Tat Sat: – I am that; what is everlasting and unchanging is God
• Sat Nam: – Truth is my name; I recognize the divinity within you.

Give mantra a try and let me know how it goes!

Tell me which one you chose below!

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