Everywhere I look, women are getting beaten up. I suppose it was the week, between the Kavanaugh hearings in Washington DC, reading about Tara Fares’ brutal murder in Baghdad, the fifth such killing of outspoken women in Iraq in recent months. And then my own daughter feeling bullied at school.
Something in me just snapped.
Yes, these injustices have been going on for millennia, but it’s clearly time for a tidal shift.
And that means that all of us, YOU and I and the millions of other women around the world need to stand up and express ourselves, especially our anger.
If you’re ready, here are 3 tips:
1. Give Yourself Permission
As women we're socialized NOT to be angry. Or at least, not to show it. So instead, we swallow it down, right? You can feel it locked in your throat can’t you?
All of those unsaid words eat away at us. They manifest as depression, angst, sorrow or frustration, right?
What would it look like if you actually allowed yourself to rage and didn’t care?
Give yourself permission right now to be angry.
2. It’s Okay Even If You Cry
I don’t know about you, but when I’m red hot mad, it often involves tears. I just never knew that it was so common!
According to Rebecca Traister’s book, Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger, when women get angry, we cry. She explains that it’s socially more acceptable for us to cry, and in most instances, it’s worked better for us in getting what we want because tears evoke compassion from men.
Whereas if we’re just raging, we’re likely to be dismissed as that “angry bitch” or worse.
I think there’s another reason we cry. Because we’re tapping into the collective pain of women who have been subjugated, raped, tortured and abused for thousands of years. And that pain causes us pain too.
Tears or not, I don’t think we have a choice anymore, but to show our anger.
Because anger is a kind of fuel – if used properly. It can propel us into action.
What are you angry about? Allow yourself to really feel it.
Yell. Scream. Do what you have to.
And then think about a concrete action you can take so that your daughters and granddaughters don't have to experience the same thing.
3. It’s Okay Even If You’re Conflict Averse
I was raised to be the good girl, to make peace. I HATED it when my sister and mom argued. It stressed me out.
So, imagine how awful it was for me to run a school and have to deal with upset parents? I ALWAYS wanted to avoid the conflict or have my partner handle it.
But alas, we have to fight our own battles.
I worked on reframing arguments and clearing old wounds and all of that helpful stuff. But the best tool I found for managing this is a Louise Hay affirmation. Here it is:
“Out of this situation only good will come. I see this being resolved for the highest good of everyone involved. I am safe.”
Sometimes I will say this statement, like it’s on repeat in my brain. Over and over again. And you know what’s really cool about it? It actually works! Every time I’ve used it, the outcomes have been incredibly satisfying for all parties!
So what do you say? Ready to express all of you?
It’s time for us to individually and collectively stand up for ourselves. The world desperately needs the women to stand up and take our power.
I’m ready. Are you?
Scared or not, we have to do this.