“No amount of self-improvement can make up for a lack of self-acceptance.” – Dr. Robert Holden.
When I first heard Robert say this, I gasped.
And then I let it seep into my being. Because even though I was a life long self-improvement addict, I knew, not only was he right but that it was time for me to change.
How about you?
Been on the constant merry go round of self-improvement too?
Ready to get off and try another way?
Here are 3 easy to apply ways to move right into self-acceptance:
1. Open the Door
As the shame researcher Brené Brown has taught us, shame – or the qualities of ourselves that we hide– needs three things to survive:
We hide away all the aspects of ourselves we don’t want anyone else to see and pretend they aren’t there. Except we KNOW they are and we judge ourselves because of it.
After I read her book, Daring Greatly (which I highly recommend), I realized that we're ALL carrying around the SAME things that we’re ashamed about:
For women, the #1 shame trigger is our bodies (duh!)
For men it’s not being “manly” enough.
And the list goes from there. Lots of versions of not enough.
That got me thinking... why should I hide all these things away when everyone else has them too?
So now I let it all hang out. 😁
Shed the light on all the ways you think you’re less than. And be okay with ALL of it – how much you weigh, how “intelligent” you are, how socially awkward, how nerdy, how quirky...
Which leads me to number 2.
2. Embrace It All – the Good, the Bad & the Ugly
When you open the door, you get to see everything that you’ve been ignoring or not wanting anyone else to know about you. All those deep, dark secrets.
But as I just said, we seem to erroneously believe that we are alone having these awful fears of rejection, abandonment, being laughed at.
But all humans have them.
And the faster we can learn to love every aspect of us, not just the ways we are healthy and successful, but also the ways we are mean, petty, flaky, irresponsible and self-defeating, the faster we can open up to really loving and accepting ourselves.
In other words, truly open up to love.
Which means it’s time to affirm a new way of being.
3. Self-Acceptance Affirmation
To support yourself as you move into self-acceptance and self-love, try this affirmation:
“I love and accept myself just as I am. Right now, this moment.”
No matter what.
Oops, I just forgot to mail that letter.
Darn it, I ate another donut.
Didn’t get to the gym today.
Avoided making that call.
Whoever you are being in this moment, love it. Love you. Accept you.
You are made in God’s image. Whole. Perfect. Loved. Love.
When we can remember that, all judgment, silence and secrecy can melt away and we can truly bask in the light and love of who we really are, divine beings.
I see you loved, lovable and the embodiment of love.
I cherish everything about you and embrace you.
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