I know you are a kind, compassionate person. You care about others and want only good for them. But these are hard times. And it can be easy to feel overwhelmed.
So what do we do when we fall into sacrifice or feel compassion fatigue?
Here’s 4 ways to return to love.
1. Check the Facts
Humans are actually hardwired to be compassionate. Neuroscience is proving it!
The anterior cingulate region of our frontal cortex lights up when we experience pain and it’s also activated when we see someone else experience pain!
Our amygdala, the part of the brain that warns us of potential threat is alerted when someone else is hurt. Makes sense, right?
Additionally, an older part of our nervous system called the periaqueductal gray. An area associated with caregiving, gets activated when we see someone in pain. What this indicates is that not only are we perceiving and feeling another’s pain, but want to biologically respond to it.
There’s even more – about the vagus nerve and oxytocin but I think you’re getting the idea.
2. Personal Benefits to Helping Others
When we take care of others, it directly effects us biologically but also emotionally. We think we’ll feel drained but instead, more often we feel elevated, joyful and more connected.
We also know from behavioral research that actions can be contagious. For example, if someone in your building or neighborhood starts visiting a trendy new place, then everyone starts going there! But here’s the wild thing:
Acts of kindness are the MOST contagious.
They spread the fasted and have personal benefit too. When we spread kindness, the science tells us we feel better, are happier and experience more connection.
3. Remembering Role Models
When I fall into fear or the pain and suffering around me seems like too much, it’s easy to get overwhelmed or feel helpless.
When I’m in those spaces, I look for support – from people who have walked the earth, or from images of gods and goddesses that embody that deep love and compassion.
Who embodies compassion to you?
His holiness the Dalai Lama? Nelson Mandela? Mother Teresa? Pope Francis? Pema Chodron?
Maybe someone in your family? A pet?
What about the image of the Christ or Mother Mary? The goddess Tara or the Buddha? Maybe it’s Hanuman, the Hindu God who is part monkey, part human, who embodies service. He is often depicted showing us his huge heart in which reside the image of his God- Rama and wife Sita- whom he serves.
I love Hanuman. The image of him exposing his heart always reminds me to live open heartedly, caring for others while remembering it’s all about love/God.
4. Compassion for You
Never forget that the person who most needs to be taken care of is YOU. So what can you do for yourself right now that is loving? What do you need most in this moment?
A hug? A moment of silence? A big breath of fresh air? A day off?
It’s easy to get focused on others. But if it is true that we are all one, what I do for myself, I do for you. So be gentle and loving to yourself today. Show yourself so much compassion. You deserve it.
All we really have to do is allow love to love through us. And then it is all effortless. When we can get out of our own way, that is exactly what happens. Let love love you, and show you how to be the most loving person you can be. The world desperately needs it.
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