Open to the Divine Mother

I got a message recently from a woman asking me about the Divine Mother. She worried that there might be a way to be rejected by her.

I define the Divine Mother as the feminine face of God.

I see her as a timeless earth goddess whose lap I can crawl into any time and she’ll hold me and nourish me like a baby.

This woman’s message reminded me that allowing ourselves to be loved can feel scary. Especially when we’ve been betrayed, hurt or feel scarred by the earthly mother’s or female mentors we’ve had.

If this is resonating with you but you want to open up to the love of the Universal Mother, here are a few ways to help.

1. Practice Unconditional Receiving

Find a place to sit comfortably or even lie down.

Imagine yourself opening up to receive all the blessings of goodness, peace, abundance, happiness, health and love that is in the universe. 

Keep breathing it all in. Try practicing this for 5 minutes every day, then see if you can do it for 10.

When we close ourselves off to receiving, nothing can come in.

2. Feel Nature

For the past year or so, I’ve been reconnecting to the Earth as a sacred being. She, who embodies that unconditional love of the Mother. She who constantly gives and asks nothing in return.

How can you feel that love and allow the great Earth to hold you?

Maybe it’s going for a swim in the ocean or a lake. It could be standing on a clearing (or even a rooftop) and feeling that breath of wind caress your face. You can lie down in a field, park on beach and simply release all your tensions into the earth. She will hold you always.

3. Who's Your Mother?

What is an image of the Mother that appeals to you? 

Sue Monk Kidd, the author of Secret Life of Bees went on a quest to find what the Divine Mother looked like to her and discovered it was the black Madonna (Virgin Mary).

If you’re background is Christian (or Catholic), a similar image might appeal to you.

Practice yoga? Maybe your image in one of the thousands of Hindu goddesses.

Loved Greek mythology as a kid? Perhaps you can relate to an image of Diana, the huntress or Athena, the goddess of wisdom.

Maybe it's an African image.

Right now, I’m looking for one that embodies the three aspects of the feminine: the maiden, the mother and the crone or wise woman. I’ll let you know when I find her (or make her.)

Many of us never experienced unconditional love as children so it’s hard to trust that God, or the Divine Mother will love us too.

But here’s the thing, she will because she already does.

So try these 3 ways to allow yourself to open up and feel that love. As the Indian guru Amma says, “when we take one step toward God (or the divine mother,) she takes 100 steps towards you.” Check out her whole answer here.

The Divine Mother loves you and holds you close. Relax into that space and allow yourself to receive.

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What Mr. Rogers Taught Me

A few days ago I saw a preview of the new documentary about Fred Rogers called, “Won’t You be my Neighbor?” Instantly, I remembered being a small child, excited to turn on our old black & white TV and see Mr. Rogers smiling face as he invited me into his living room. With fondness, I recollected watching him take off his “street clothes” and put on his sweater and tennis shoes.

Then when I was about 11 or 12, I was rummaging through my father’s stack of albums and pulled out Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I started belittling him, saying his show was for babies. It was stupid. And then my father’s stern voice rang through the hallway. “Mr. Rogers is an exemplary human being. His show is intelligent, thoughtful and fun. And his message is one of universal love.”

That shut me up.

Mr. Rogers’s show was a daily reminder of kindness, friendliness and playfulness in the midst of what was a chaotic time in my life. And indeed the makers of this new documentary clearly feel we can use a dose of kindness today (certainly in the United States) and to remember how to be good neighbors.

If you’re moving down memory lane with me, here are my top Mr. Rogers takeaways:

1. Listen

Mr. Rogers was always curious and enjoyed learning about new people and new places. As a child, I was really quiet. I think I didn’t speak often in part because the world felt scary and overwhelming but also because I wanted to understand.

It wasn’t until years later, while reading M Scott Peck's, A Road Less Traveled, that I began to understand the power of listening.  That’s when I realized listening was a honed skill. Before that, I’d always felt “less than” because I wasn’t butting in to every conversation with my smart ideas.

And then I remembered Mr. Rogers, how he observed and listened, even to his puppets.

2. Say Hi & Be Neighborly

It used to be that everyone knew each other. I used to walk through my grandmother’s apartment complex as a little girl, watching as she greeted everyone – young and old. Introducing me, smiling, offering help. In an effort to resurrect civility, I’ve decided to be a welcome wagon in my own neighborhood and bring a gift to all my new neighbors who have moved in recently.

We all crave community and miss the days when friends would just pop over unannounced. What can you do to reach out a friendly hand?

3. Smile

Every day Mr. Rogers greeted me with a genuine smile on his face. Whether he was in a bad mood or not, he smiled.

Have you ever tried to be grouchy and smile at the same time? It doesn’t work. Try it right now. Allow yourself to feel pissy about something and then smile as you talk about it out loud.

What happened?

It goes away, right!

Smiling is powerful. It has the ability to not only lift others’ spirits but your own as well.

4. Help is Always Available

One of the things I especially loved about Mr. Rogers’ show was that he answered kids questions about confusing adult things like unemployment, divorce, segregation and even assassination.

He shed light on issues and helped me feel less alone and less powerful. Through him I realized that knowledge is power. I also saw that I never had to be alone with my not knowing. That I could ask for help from caring adults.

One of the new things I learned about Fred Rogers was that he was an ordained minister and I (like many children my age) were his parishioners. I’d like to make his memory proud by continuing his legacy of love and kindness. Care to join me?

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PS - Here's the trailer for the documentary

5 Ways to Embrace Change with Joy & Ease

It's official! On Saturday my youngest daughter graduates from high school! As exciting as this is, it also means that come September, I’m officially an empty nester.

Even though we know that change is a part of life, it can still feel stressful and fraught with anxiety.

Isn't there a way to manage change with awareness and clarity instead?

If you're experiencing change in your life - a big move, new job, relationship or are about to send a kid to college- use these 5 steps, and embrace that transition.

1. Normalize Your Fear

Five years ago I started a new company. My logo and business cards were designed, the website was live, my office was furnished. I distinctly remember standing in my office the day everything felt “official” and I was frozen, scared to death. I was new at being a therapist and coach. I’d transitioned out of education where I was an “expert” but now…

And then I reminded myself that I wasn’t 20. I had 40+ years of life training which counted for a lot! I took a deep breath and jumped in.

It’s completely normal to feel scared when you do something new- whether it’s a move, a budding relationship, job or life transition. Honor those feelings and remember that everyone has them. You are SO not alone!

2. Face Not Knowing

The new always seems alien, hard, daunting. That’s because it’s new! Have you ever noticed that you discount something once it’s done? Like you ran a marathon or rock climbed, no biggie. But that next hurdle, solo camping, or doing a livestream, seems huge and impossible to overcome.

Take a moment to look back on all of your previous successes – graduating from college, launching a business, getting married, taking a trip solo, publishing an article, creating an investment portfolio, having a baby, showing your artwork, competing in a triathlon…

Once those things also seemed hard until you did them.

3. Make A Plan

Establish some intentionality about how you want your “new” to unfold. Here’s what I mean. Let’s say you’re ready for a job transition or have just been offered a new job. Get clear on how you want life to be.

• How much money do you want to earn?
• What’s your schedule look and feel like?
• How about your daily tasks? Invigorating? Inspiring? Challenging?
• What does a great day look and feel like?
• What’s your ideal work-life balance?

Write it down or draw it out then, envision yourself living it.

4. Take Inventory

So often when we find ourselves in a transition, it’s easy to focus on what’s being left behind – a relationship, a house, a stage of life.

Use this in-between time to take inventory.

Celebrate what is passing with a ritual, a ceremony, maybe even a candle lit dinner. Then look ahead to what’s coming. What are the benefits to you of embracing this change? How can it bring more love, happiness and fun into your life?

5. Give Yourself Time

We live in a rush culture where everything has to happen ASAP. As you move through this transition, give yourself time and space to honor it. Sometimes in life it feels like we take two steps forward and one step back. This can be especially true when we’re moving into unknown territory.

Be patient with yourself and allow for the transition to move at it’s own pace.

Sometimes this can feel hard or frustrating but in the end, it’s worth it.

Whether you’re like me and facing an empty nest, or dealing with change in another way, use these 5 tools to help you claim your transition, own it and feel empowered as you walk bravely through it. Your life journey is so worth it – and so are you.

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Be Kind

In today’s bully infested world, kindness is seen as weakness.

You and I both know that simply isn't true.

AND

Who wants to live in a world where we pull each other down and make each other wrong? 

Instead, let's support one another, help us reach up and become our higher selves.

Which is why I'm making a stand for kindness.

Think about it.

How do you feel when you’re mean or cruel to someone?

Now think about how you feel when you’re kind.

Like fear, kindness is contagious.

It can shower the world like water quenching a wild fire.

And, it really is easy.

It starts with a smile.

A caring word to a stranger.

A “thank you.”

That feeling of gratitude in your heart.

Doing something because.

Handing a stranger a tissue.

Holding the door open.

Waving at a car.

Kindness is like a secret weapon. Not only does it impact the receiver, it impacts the giver too.

So today, I have 2 special kindness offerings.

The first is access to a meditation guiding you through the Metta Bhavana, a Buddhist phrase and practice that means loving kindness.

This is a specific Buddhist prayer to help you foster loving kindness. The idea is to cultivate this feeling within your self and then express it to all sentient beings.

The guided meditation follows the steps as I learned them:

1. Focus on yourself. Feel love, compassion and caring for YOU.

2. Now imagine a loved one standing in front of you. Shower this person with that same love, light and healing.

3. Thirdly, envision in front of you a person with whom you have no relationship – think about your postal worker, a shopkeeper or bus driver. Send this same love and healing light to this person.

4. The next person to come before you is someone with whom you have a conflict or issue. Imagine that person standing directly in front of you. See him or her surrounded by love, healing, kindness and light.

5. Lastly, send this beautiful energy out to blanket the entire world.

You can download the meditation here OR listen to it on Insight Timer.

Practicing the Metta Bhavana will help you create and stay in a place of kindness throughout your day. It's a powerful prayer and practice. Every time I do it, it profoundly alters my day.

And as a special bonus, I’ve added a poem for you called Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye. I heard it over the weekend and learned that it has provided much solace to people over the years. Here is a beautiful link to it, enjoy.

Join me is fostering living kindness within your own being. Both yourself and the world will be grateful.

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10 Ways to Kickstart A Daily Spiritual Practice

We all crave more peace, less anxiety, and definitely less stress.

One of the best ways to do this is to have some kind of daily contemplative practice. Think about this as a time to simply be with you. To touch base with the wise, all knowing self that resides deep within you.

A spiritual practice is something you give yourself so it should feel exciting and fun and definitely NOT like a chore. It’s not another “have-to.”

I often think about this time as refuge – a state I can enter where the craziness of the world is far away- where there is only peace and a sense of calm.

Here are 10 ideas to get you started:

1. Prayer

If you’ve grown up with any kind of formal religion, you know what prayers sound like. But a prayer doesn’t have to be religious. It’s really a call from your heart out into the world.

My prayers are usually for people who are suffering as well as for the planet. But a super terrific prayer to start everyday is one I’ve mentioned before from A Course in Miracles, it says,

What would you have me do today?
Where would you have me go?
What would you have me say and to whom?

2. Affirmation

Starting your day with an affirmation or a list of them is a really powerful practice. You are speaking aloud what you want to manifest in your life. An affirmation can be general or specific.

I consider Louise Hay to be the queen of affirmations. Here is a great video with her sharing about affirmations.

3. Meditation

Meditation has literally transformed my life. I cannot imagine not doing this everyday BUT I do know how hard and scary it can be to start.

And I will admit, that even now, 20 years later, sometimes when I meditate, my thoughts don’t stop leaping around. As you begin or deepen your own time in meditation, remember that it is a practice. It isn’t about perfection.

If you want to start with a guided meditation or visualization, hop onto Insight Timer and have fun exploring not only my meditations but the hundreds of other ones!

4. To Be List

One of my favorite spiritual teachers, Dr. Robert Holden offers this suggestion. Rather than having a To DO list, have a To BE list. Isn’t this a great idea!

How do you want to be today?

• Loving
• Kind
• Generous
• Patient

5. Journal

I have many friends who begin each day writing in their journals. They are literally writing their lives into existence. If this sounds intriguing, get yourself a special notebook, decide your spot and commit to writing – for 5, 10, 20 minutes, whatever it is for you. There’s something transformational that happens when we put pen to paper. 

6. Contemplative Walk

Walking is both meditative and aerobic. Obviously the best places to do these walks is somewhere pretty or serene – such as a park, along the water or in the woods. But you can have a contemplative walk not in nature too. Even on the treadmill. Plug in some soothing music and allow yourself to move.

7. Singing

I recently attended an earth honoring circle where a few women were inspired to sing. If singing helps you connect with your heart space, this might be the practice for you. Find some honoring, uplifting music that speaks to your higher self and belt it out! I am a big fan of kirtan, a form of Sanskrit chanting and love singing those songs.

8. Inspirational Video

If multi-media is more your thing, you may enjoy a video that connects you. One of my absolute favorites is Louie Schwartzberg’s one on gratitude.

9. Yoga Asana

Another way to ease into the day is through yoga, and doing a repetitive asana. One of the most common is the Sun Salutation, which is a series of simple moves designed to help awaken the body.

I have suffered from sciatica for 20+ years and discovered that doing the sun salutation every morning actually kept me pain free. So this is a daily part of my practice. See it performed here.

10. Start Your Day

Okay, I admit it, I hate getting out of bed. And I can be pretty grouchy in the morning. For over 10 years, my husband has lovingly reminded me that how you start your day is how you live your day.

So instead of groaning about getting up, how can you greet your day?

How would you like this day to be for you? Rewarding, satisfying, fulfilling, peaceful?

Whether you choose one of the above or a number of these, deepening your relationship to yourself is what a spiritual practice is all about. Decide what feels right for you and how you want to support yourself in your own evolution. That's what life is all about!

As always, don't be a stranger. Let me know what works for you!

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10 Ways to Love Mother Earth More

Yes Earth Day JUST passed (on Sunday). But it’s never too late to take a stand and care about protecting our planet.

Part of my daily prayer is for our earth – that we may live in peace with all of our human, plant, animal and mineral brothers and sisters. In fact, I pray for us to become stewards of this sacred place that is our home.

Which is why the celebration of the earth is important – to acknowledge the amazing planet we live on.

I’m sure you’re already on board, but- 

here’s a quick list of simple things you can do right now to make a difference.

1. Protect Your Part of the Ocean

Last week I went clamming on the Puget Sound and met a man who’s a 3rd generation shellfish farmer. He’s really active with the slow food movement, eating locally and all that good stuff. When I asked him about his mission now, he said to protect his part of the ocean.

In other words, think globally but act locally.

Sometimes the world’s problems can feel overwhelming. Instead, look locally. What’s a hot button issue in your area?

• Is it trying to eliminate the use of Roundup?
• Bedding oysters to help filter pollution?
• Creating rain barrels?
• Counteracting the infestation of the southern pine beetle?

Pick one.

2. Recycle

Okay, I know. You already do that.

3. Buy Thrifty

I hear vintage is all the rage. And that’s great news because it means clothes are essentially being reused. My family finds incredibly stylish and hip stuff at consignment stores and thrift stores. In fact, on my recent trip to New York City, I found a cashmere sweater for $3 and a Dianne Von Furstenberg wrap dress for $19 at a Goodwill!

If you’ve never been in one, now’s your chance!

4. Ban Plastic Water Bottles & Straws

Plastic is a forever product. Consider getting yourself a cool water bottle that you can refill (for free). Learn more about how plastic water bottles are wasteful from the Water Project, here.

And while you’re at it, lose the straws too.

Over 500 million straws are thrown away every day just in the United States! Yikes!

5. BYOBags

Since we’re talking about plastic, let’s bring our own bags to the store, yes?

Plastic bags are a menace to the environment. Because they are light and easily air born, many end up in the oceans and are accidentally ingested by wildlife, others clog rivers and streams.

It is estimated that over 100 billion single use plastic bags are thrown away every year in the United States!

To date, Hawaii and recently, California, have banned them. They are joined by 130+ communities across the other states as well as 19+ countries from Australia and Bangladesh to Ireland and Wales.

6. Compost

Apparently compost with manure is SO powerful, it not only increases the yields from your soil by up to 50% it’s also fantastic in helping to capture carbon in the soil! Talk about a win-win.

Make your own, or spread some healthy compost (with manure) all over your property. I plan to.

7. Plant Bee Attracting Plants

We all know the bees are at high risk. And people are taking action. In fact, many city dwellers have become beekeepers. On a trip to St. Paul, Minnesota, I looked out the window of my inn and right below me, the neighbor was tending her hive!

Bees need food. And many of these are beauiful flowering plants! Here’s a list of great plants and shrubs that you and the bees will love

There are ideas EVEN if you don’t have a garden!

8. Car Free

One of the many things I admire about Millennials is their preference to NOT own a vehicle.

These days, especially if you live in or around a city, you don’t really need one. Not only are there public transportation, shared bikes and even walking as possibilities but there are so many ride sharing companies -from Uber and Lyft to ZipCar and Turo! 

AND if you must have a car, can you commit to ONE day a week of not driving?

9. Carbon Offsets 

If you haven’t heard of this before, in a nut shell, it’s a way to offset the amount of carbon you put into the atmosphere through driving and plane travel, etc. by donating money to plant trees or preserve forest.

Here’s  great article if you want to learn more. 

10. Eat Local

Farmers markets are popping up in more and more cities and towns as we become increasingly interested in what we are eating. It’s now common to find locally produced meats, cheeses, milk and eggs as well as honey and veggies.

If you don't already visit a local farmer's market, here’s a great site to find what's happening in your local area. Just pop in your zip code.

Surprisingly, taking care of the earth can be fun and exciting! Try one or all of these, or commit to adopting ONE NEW ONE this year! Which will you pick? Leave me a note below.

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How To Do Your Job

Okay, I admit it. My husband is a New England Patriot fan.

So, naturally I watch a lot of football. And I particularly enjoy spotting their coach, Bill Belichick in his frayed hoodie, staring at his players, showing no emotion, but always reminding them to “do their job.”

His signature phrase "do your job" has become ubiquitous in NFL circles. I frequently hear announcers and players of other teams using it. “He needs to do his job... I just have to do my job.”

It's even seeped into everyday chat. In fact, someone on a radio news show just said it!

And that got me wondering, what does it mean exactly?

For Bill Bellichik, it’s obvious. He wants his players to run their routes – consistently, timely, one could argue, perfectly.

But what does it mean as a human being, to do your job?

Here’s what I’ve come up with – The 4 Agreements.

I’m a big fan of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book of the same name. And when I think about doing my job as a person, this is my clear default.

As a refresher, here they are:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

In other words, speak mindfully. Be aware of everything you say as a reflection of who you are.

We’ve all had those moments when we’ve been out of integrity and got caught saying something cruel about another person. I remember the last time that happened to me, how horrible I felt for being a gossip and I decided then and there that I’d stop.

Your word is your honor. Being impeccable with your word reminds you to take responsibility for everything you say. It reminds you to respect yourself as well as everyone else.

I’m doing my job when I hold my tongue, when I speak with integrity and clarity. When I take responsibility for my words and deeds.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

We all are creating our own realities, in every moment of every day. And these realities bump into one another. Sometimes it’s a wonderful, harmonious experience and sometimes it’s horrific. My state of mind, mood and disposition fluctuate moment to moment, as does yours.

An easy way to imagine this is to think about a toddler. In the morning, she is loving and playful. The next hour, she’s irritable and grouchy. As her mother or caregiver, do I take on her moodiness personally and blame myself? No.

I recognize she’s a child and is experiencing life in her terms. Now we just have to extrapolate that to everyone else.

And doing this with each person and experience you have in life is a powerful practice.

It really helps to foster detachment and reduces daily drama. Plus, it will open you up to experience more clarity and drive.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

What is an assumption? An assumption is when you think you know but you haven’t received confirmation.

• I thought our appointment was for today.
• Don’t you like sugar in your coffee?
• I was pretty sure you were paying that bill.

Assumptions invariably lead to whoops!

When I make assumptions it’s because I’m being lazy and not asking clarifying questions, not calling to confirm. That’s when errors, hurts or worse can happen.

I’m doing my job effectively when I’m sure.

4. Always Do Your Best

Here’s a way to think about this: Are you showing up and giving the best of your ability in this moment?

Bear in mind that the moment is constantly changing- day-to-day, year to year. So “best” is fluid and ever evolving.

Then in reflection, when you stand back and ask about a specific moment in time, “Did you do my best – in that meeting, confrontation, essay?”

If the answer is “yes”, move on. Don’t dwell on it, judge it or criticize. If, however, you feel like you could have done more, look at that and act accordingly.

I truly believe that if you’ve shown up and done you’re best, you’ve done your job.

I’ll never be a professional football player, that’s certain. But when I think about doing my job – as a human being- these 4 guidelines are what come to me again and again. They remind me to live my life- words and actions- with integrity, honor and dignity.

How about you? How can you live the 4 agreements in your life? Let me know by leaving me a note below.

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5 Major Blocks to Happiness & How to Release Them

When people are asked what they want in their lives, it’s always more happiness.

Then as a society, why aren’t we happier?

According to research, happiness levels in industrialized countries have stagnated since the 1950s and are now actually declining.

And it isn’t about needing more stuff, earning more money or having a bigger house.

As many of you know, I’ve been actively studying happiness since 2011 when I became a certified happiness coach. Since then, I’ve taught workshops on happiness as well as continued to dive into the practice of daily happiness on a deeper level in my life.

And here are the 5 biggest blocks to happiness.

1. I'm Too Busy

Have you filled your time and energy with events, bookings, appointments, and jobs, in other words, tasks that keep you running and “busy” all day everyday so that you don’t have to be alone with you?

 If you just answered yes, here’s your solution:

Schedule an afternoon with yourself. Check in with you. Be willing to go within and ask:

~What does happiness mean to me?

~When do I feel happy?

Sit down with a pen and paper and ask yourself these questions.

Even though we all say we want more happiness, how many of us have actually sat down and thought about what makes us feel happy?

The first time I answered the question, when do I feel happy? My immediate answer was, when I ski! Guess what I schedule once a week during the winter and early spring?

2. There's Not Enough

 Does it always feel like there’s never enough time, money, friendships, love?

The easiest way to shift out of that deep well of lack, is to practice gratitude.

AND, it turns out that gratitude is the shortest short cut to happiness!

Why not start a gratitude practice today?

It’s really easy.

All you have to do is make a list of 5 things you’re grateful for. Do it right now, even if it’s in your head.

At this moment,

• I am grateful for my reliable computer that allows me to create and communicate easily and effortlessly with countless folks across the world.
• I am grateful for my healthy body.
• I am grateful for my loving family who support me, protect me and nourish me with their kindness and devotion.
• I am grateful for the nutritious, wholesome food I am able to put into my body everyday.
• I am grateful for the countless opportunities – in business, marketing, creativity, wellness, friendship and on and on- that I have in my life right now.

I love to do this activity at night, right before I go to bed. It’s a positive review of the day and brings happiness, peace, satisfaction and love to me to fall into dreams.

3. No Reception

Often times we forget to open up, to receive because it might mean we have to do two things: Ask and then listen.

God or the Uni-verse or whatever word you like to use for the great mystery that surrounds us, is always trying to support us.

Our task is to help God by allowing ourselves to open up and receive all the love, goodness, kindness, prosperity, and health that it has for us.

Here’s an easy exercise: try asking for something you want more of in your life (like creativity) then lie down with your arms over your head and feel that creativity raining down on you.

4. Lack of Intimacy

Are you spending more and more time interacting with people online, on Facebook and Twitter and less time talking face to face?

Well, you’re not alone. But you might feel lonely.

One of the best ways to feel happier and more fulfilled is to have meaningful, deep relationships with real, live human beings.

Reach out to people you genuinely care about – friends, family members, cherished loved ones.

Schedule time to be with them. We are all social beings. The love, generosity and support you get will pay off in dividends.

5. Pursuit of Happiness

We are taught that happiness is some elusive thing that we have to chase, and I did this for years. I’d already figured out that stuff didn’t make me happy. Yes, it’s pleasurable, and enjoyable but my new bottle of perfume isn’t going to sustain my happiness day in and day out.

Instead, I went seeking for happiness, learning everything I could, working with different teachers, traveling. I thought, if I kept looking, eventually I’d find it.

And what I found was that I had it all along!

HA

Because joy is who we really are. It is our innate nature.

And the ONLY thing that keeps you from experiencing joy all the time, is you.

We all tune in and out of joy.

It’s so easy to forget happiness and get consumed with emotion or worry, allow fear or anxiety to crowd in. Even when that happens, joy is still there. It waits patiently for you to return.

Think of joy like the radiant sunshine. Even when it’s raining or the clouds have covered over the sky, that sun is still there above it all, beaming down, right?

Joy is the same way.

Sadness, stress, or worry might crowd in and narrow the view, make the winds tremble, the rain fall. But above it all, beams happiness, waiting patiently for us to clear away those clouds.

Take a self inventory and scan how many of these happiness blocks are preventing you from accessing that bright sunny joy.

Happiness is there – waiting patiently for you.

What's the major block you're ready to release?
Share it with us below so we can see you stepping more into joy today!

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3 Ways to Manifest Exactly What You Want

What do you want?

Seriously. Do you even know?

About a year ago I read a book called, The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles.

In it, he explains that EVERYTHING comes from our minds.

Okay, I know that sounds weird, but hear me out.

A light bulb wouldn’t exist if Thomas Edison hadn’t conceived of it in his mind. Nor would a car, an airplane, or an iPhone. See where I’m going with this?

All of these tangible, physical “things” were ideas first. They were conceived in someone’s mind and that person or group of people then went about creating a physical product.

Isn’t that great news?

This means that with intention, and belief, (and inspired action) you can manifest whatever you want in your life too.

Wattle suggests an exercise that looks like this:

Use your mind to form a mental image of what you want, and to hold that vision with faith and purpose...The picture of your desires, held with faith and purpose, is taken up by the Formless, and permeates it to great distances-throughout the universe.

As this impression spreads, all things are set moving toward its realization; every living thing, every inanimate thing, and the things yet uncreated, are stirred toward bringing into being that which you want. All force begins to be exerted in that direction; all things begin to move toward you. The minds of people, everywhere, are influenced toward doing the things necessary to the fulfilling of your desires; and they work for you, unconsciously.

WHOA!

Ernest Holmes, the founder of Science of Mind also writes about this phenomenon in his book, The Art of Life.

In it, he tells a story about one of his congregants, a piano teacher who was trying to use this manifesting tool to attract new students, only it wasn’t working. When Holmes heard what she was saying, he immediately knew why. She was using vague statements like, “God is the only mind there is.”

He explained that, “she labored under the misperception that abstract statements can produce definite results.”

So he helped her create a new affirmation using precise wording and soon she was meeting people left and right who wanted to study with her or recommend her.

Her new, successful affirmation reads:

I have a service to render. My business is to teach the piano. Whoever needs my service, whomever I can peculiarly and personally benefit, those whom I can particularly aid in this art, are irresistibly drawn to me now, today, this moment.

It specifically stated exactly what she wanted. And it was written in the present tense.

(Because the only time is now.)

Both of these examples give you a template to use so you can precisely word what it is that you want.

If you’re ready to manifest more good in your life, here are 3 easy steps:

1. Decide What You Want

Be as crystal clear as possible. Take some time to really think about it and be precise and accurate with your words. Tailor the words above to meet your needs.

2. Time Is Now

Speak in the present tense. It is happening right now, today, this exact moment.

3. Be Bold

Say your statement with conviction, emotion, and power. Feel that it is true within your being.  And repeat your affirmation often. The more you do it, the faster your results will flow.

The universe waits patiently to support and help us. But it needs to know exactly what we want!

Try using one or both of these incredibly powerful statements. Make them yours and claim what it is you most desire.

Let me know how it goes! Leave me a message below.

And as always, stay in touch! Get my emails in your Inbox every Wednesday :)

6 Keys to Longevity: What Centenarians Know

Researchers have spanned the globe – from China, to Italy, to Nova Scotia- in search of healthy, vibrant centenarians. Their quest: to understand longevity.

I’m absolutely fascinated with older folks. I love listening to their stories and learning from their insight and wisdom. Recently, I had lunch with a spry retiree who regaled me with his adventures traveling solo throughout South America in the late 1960s after he’d finished his year in the Peace Corps.

I was struck by his lucidity and spunk.

What is it, then, that these wise men and women know about happiness, longevity and success that we can learn from?

After reading a number of articles, here’s what I’ve gathered:

1. Eat Plants

From the farmers in China to the shepherds in Sardinia, people who live to be 100 eat lots of fruits and veggies. They also ingest legumes (lentils, fava beans, edamame, black beans…) on a regular basis.

What’s on your plate?

See if you can consume at least ONE fruit or vegetable with every meal. The goal is five a day, right?

(And don’t forget olive oil – great for increasing good cholesterol and fabulous for the skin.)

2. Move

Most centenarians, it turns out, don’t go to the gym. But they are regularly active in their daily existence. Physically moving is key to keeping your body strong and healthy.

Think brisk walks. They help maintain bone density and oxygenate your lungs and organs. And the best part? You only need to move for 15 minutes a day. So whether it’s walking the dog, shopping, raking leaves or gardening, have fun moving!

3. Connect

We all need social interaction (with actual people). Turns out that social connection, with family and friends, IS a major factor for both happiness and longevity.

Do an inventory of the people with whom you spend time. Could you grow your social network or spend more quality time with people you really love and appreciate?

4. No Stress

Stress and anxiety are the bane of our modern existence. In order to live a long and happy life, we have to learn how to deal with them and ideally, reduce them in our lives.

Using anchors like breath work, affirmations and meditation, are great ways to neutralize stress, as is physical exercise.

Relaxation techniques, time in nature or in the tub help too.

Utilizing these strategies will help you sleep better, which is another key to longevity.

5. Purpose

Have you noticed that when someone retires, they can often wither? Like, without a job, they have no reason to exist?

We ALL need to feel like we have a purpose. What's yours?

Is it really selling real estate, running a clothing store or doing corporate training?

Or is your purpose larger than that? Dig deep and find what it is for you. I promise, once you do, it will transform your existence.

6. Optimism

Maintaining a positive attitude. Not taking life so seriously. Letting things roll off your back are common themes seen with healthy centenarians.

And what is optimism if not a perspective? A lens through which we view the world.

Remember the old adage: “Is the glass half empty or half full?”

What do you want it to be? 

Many years ago, I decided to choose optimism because, if nothing else, it felt so much more comfortable. Here’s my truth, I want to live in a world where I believe we can rise to our highest potential. Where we can honor and respect one another. Where there is justice and empathy. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but if I always think the worst, my life then becomes small and petty. AND I’m always a grouch.

Instead, I choose optimism and who knows, maybe I’ll live to be 100 too!

Wanna read more about longevity? Here are a few of the articles I found:

Centenarians in Nova Scotia

What Centenarians Can Teach Us About Success

Sardinians Teach the Secrets to Longevity

Centenarian Profiles from The New York Times

4 Reasons to Be Your Own Valentine

Love is in the air!

Especially today, Valentine’s Day, a holiday dedicated to pondering love and relationships. But seriously, what’s the MOST important relationship in your life?

The one with yourself.

Whether you're in a committed intimate relationship or not, it's critical to have a fabulous, loving relationship with you. Because the more you can honor, love and respect yourself, the more others will too.

So if you’re ready to treat yourself like the best Valentine ever, here’s 4 ways to do that:

1. Be Your Own Best Friend

Yup, love starts right here, right now with you loving on you. What’s that inner voice saying? Is she telling you how smart and capable you are? How gorgeous you look today? How you can do anything?

If she's being mean, you're NOT being a nice friend to yourself, so kick those thoughts out and bring in the love.

2. Start the “I Love You” Affirmation

Every time you see yourself reflected back to you- whether it’s in a mirror, a car window, walking by a shop, or from a puddle, stop and look at yourself.

Look yourself right in the eyes and say, “I love you.”

It might seem a little strange at first but it is so powerful, empowering and energizing.

Try it!

3. Embody Love

Looking for love? Who isn't?

Here’s exactly what you need to do:

Make a list of every trait your ideal mate would have; kindness, generosity, patience, tenderness, willingness to listen…

Now that you have your list, begin to embody each and every one of those traits right now. In other words, become what it is that you're looking for. Like attracts like so as you up-level your vibration, you will attract exactly that to you.

Years ago, I read that the author Isabelle Allende said that life is not measured by how many people love you but by how many people you love.

Be the embodiment of love and watch how it reverberates throughout your life.

4. Banish Unworthiness

Many of us fall into feeling like we aren’t enough. Not smart enough, doing enough, successful enough…

Even if you’ve done years of therapy, inner work, or meditation, strands of unworthiness can suddenly appear. Usually when you least expect it and often when you’re trying something new or putting yourself out there and feeling more exposed.

So here’s my latest unworthiness reframe- pretending I’m Muhammad Ali!

Because what I realized is if I don’t think I’m the greatest, who will?

So I leave you with a few of his inspired quotes. Pick one or say them all. His power of conviction and absolute belief in himself literally transformed his life. And it can yours too. Enjoy being your greatest Valentine.

The Secret To An Ideal Work - Life Balance

Ready to experience a better work – life balance?

Isn’t everyone?

But how?

It’s often easier to identify what we don't have than what we do. So here’s a list of symptoms to see if you’re out of balance:

Tired?

Can’t catch up on sleep? Or dragging by the middle of the day?

You’re not alone. Most Americans are sleep deprived. Why? Because there’s lots of pressure to be busy, not only with work but also with family, with socializing, networking… Let’s face it, there’s simply too much to do!

Poor Health?

Keep getting sick? Are you plagued with colds, sore throats, aches and pains? This is another symptom of being out of balance. If you’re like many busy people, you don’t often stop to take a break until your body forces you to, by getting sick.

Stressed or Irritable?

Grouchy all the time lately or feeling anxious? And it’s not PMS. Maybe you just have too much on your plate.

You know, those days, the ones where you feel like you simply can’t get things done quickly enough or go fast enough before more obligations get piled on…

Sorry, I have to work.

Is that your excuse for missing the birthday party, the Super Bowl or a night at the theatre?

Work is the only legitimate excuse everyone will accept when you’re unable to do anything. But ask yourself, is it really worth it?

Checking out?

Stress and fatigue have a way of inspiring poor choices. Whether it’s coming home to the TV with a pizza and a liter of Pepsi or hitting the bar. Numbing the pain only makes it worse.

In our 24-hour, 7-day a week work world, it can feel really hard to be balanced. After all, you’re not supposed to stop answering emails – even at midnight - or, God forbid, totally unplug.

But that’s exactly what has to happen if you’re to stay sane.

So if you’re ready to have a better experience of life, here’s what you can do:

1. Decide

Make the decision that you’re willing to change. This is the first step!

We all get into ruts and habits. But it’s critical to shift your lifestyle choices before it’s too late. After all, we are not human do-ers- working like automatons. We are human beings. We need to honor all aspects of who we are

2. Create A Schedule

The reality of our modern lives, is that if something is not scheduled it won’t happen. Recently, I even heard Cheryl Strayed, the author of the bestselling book, Wild, say she’s even an advocate for scheduled sex! Her rationale, if it isn’t planned, it just doesn’t happen. So much for spontaneity!

3. Identify Your Personal Needs

Body: How can you best take care of your body? What do you need to help you incorporate healthy foods, exercise, and adequate sleep into your schedule?

I have a friend who makes all of his meals on Sundays, then grabs his To Go breakfast and lunch on his way out every weekday!

Some people prefer to exercise in the mornings, others in the evenings. How can you take one class a week (yoga, Zumba) or add a few strolls into your day? I have a friend who wears her Fitbit and just walks all day long...

Mind: What feels like down time, relaxation and fun? What kinds of activities can you easily pop into your schedule to really enjoy your day? Join a book group? Laughter club or garden group? Schedule a monthly massage or hike?

And, what feels stimulating? Is there a course you’ve been wanting to take or a new skill you’d like to acquire? Painting? Pickle Ball? German?

Spirit & Connection: As you probably know, I’m a huge advocate for meditation.

Incorporating just 5 minutes of meditation or guided visualization every day will do wonders to bring you more peace of mind and balance. Do this first thing in the morning or right before bed. I know people who do it at work, on a break! You can always find 5 minutes.

What about your social life? Recent longevity studies have shown that THE most important attribute to your overall health and longevity is sustained, deep relationships. How can you ensure you have time for those? Not only with a spouse but with friends or other family members as well.

We’re at a point in our evolution where the paradigm is shifting. One example of this is the advent of flexibility in the traditional work schedule. Many employees now work remotely.

Another is our outmoded definition of success, that it requires sacrifice. The old thinking is, I have to sacrifice everything else – family myself, health… to work and make money. Then I’ll be successful.

Good NEWS, this is changing – but it starts with you!

So I leave you with two deep questions:

What are your values? (As in, what really matters to you?)

AND

What is your definition of success?

Is it making 6-figures a year and working 80-100 hours a week? Or making 6-figures a year and having 3 months holiday every year? Hmmm…

It’s critical to define and KNOW what you’re values are and what your definition of success is, otherwise, you’re chasing the wrong dream and your work-life balance won’t feel satisfying.

Once you’re clear, you can easily create a schedule and a life that reflect the beauty of you. Vision well!

Let me know what you're ready to change to have more balance. Leave a comment below!

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4 Ways to Bring the Sacred into Your Holiday Season

Ready to infuse your holidays with some spirituality and really deeply feel the impact of this time of year?

It’s too easy to get caught in the frenzy and rush with holiday parties, travel, and gift buying. But there's more to the holidays than eating and stuff.

Around this time of year in my old Florida neighborhood, I often saw a yard sign that said, “put the Christ back in Christmas.”

What does that mean?

To me, it’s about remembering the true spirit of the holidays, which is ultimately about giving, and receiving from a deep heart level. 

So here’s my interpretation of doing just that:

1. Family Ritual or Tradition

Is their something special that you do this time of year with your loved ones? Perhaps you bake cookies to distribute to friends, throw an eggnog party for your neighbors, or maybe even go on a horse drawn carriage ride.

Whatever your tradition is, how can you really show up with the spirit of love? This year, before your annual event, set an intention to be truly loving and present with your guests and family.

If you’re ready to create a new tradition or ritual with your friends or family, the sky’s the limit!

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Share a meal together with special symbolic foods.
• Create a circle where everyone contributes something. Maybe each person gives someone else in the circle a compliment or says something positive about them.
• Come together to make gifts or food for someone in need. Think about infusing those goodies with love, healing and peace.

2. Honor the Light

All of the traditions at this time of year- Christmas, Hanukkah, and Yule (Winter Solstice)- are celebrations to honor the light.

Christmas honors the birth of Jesus, a light in the world.

Hanukkah is a celebration in remembrance of the re-dedication of the great temple in Jerusalem and the lighting of the Menorah, the candelabra with nine branches.

And Yule, or the Winter Solstice, honors the shortest day of the year, December 21st, and the symbolic rebirth of the sun. This is why there are lots of fires and lights for Yule! Here’s a great website to learn more or get into Yule:

Remember that as we celebrate the light, we must also honor the dark, for without it, we could not see the light. Honor any darkness that comes up for you. Bless it and release it.

3. Visit a Church, Temple or Holy Place

There are so many wonderful services this time of year, from choir concerts to midnight masses, to bonfires. Check out the local listings in your area and see if anything peeks your curiosity.

One year, my family was in Cusco, Peru on Christmas morning so, my husband, mother and I all attended morning mass at the cathedral that was completed in 1654. The night before, there’d been a huge handicraft fair throughout the plaza. In the morning, everything was quiet, deferential. It was an inspiring celebration. The priests in their ceremonial robes, the massive silver altar decorated for the holiday.

4. Pay it Forward

This time of year is truly about giving and receiving. And we all know that when we give, it opens our hearts.

Who can you help this holiday season?

Think beyond your loved ones. Is there a neighbor in need? A colleague? How can you help in a larger way? Wanna make lunch bags for the homeless or donate to a cause you care about?

How can you really embrace that feeling of caring in your community?

Infuse your holiday season with love and peace, with true giving and receiving. Do this by coming back to your heart and remembering what this season is really all about. Enjoy and have a happy holiday!

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5 Tips for a Stress Free Holiday

We’ve hurdled past Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday.

Now on to Chanukah, Yule, Christmas and the New Year!

Take a minute.

How do you actually want your holidays to be? Fun, relaxed, enriching?

How do you actually want to feel? Happy, satisfied, warm?

Unfortunately, how we want to experience something and how we actually experience it, can often be worlds apart.

Right?

So in an effort to really create exactly what you want this year, here are my top 5 ways to have a stress free, relaxed and wonderful holiday season!

1. Self Care

Even if you have a house full of guests, are cooking up a storm or have a packed schedule of holiday parties, be sure to schedule time just for YOU.

Maybe it’s spending an hour journal writing and meditating.

How about an early evening soak in the tub?

Maybe you want to curl up by the fire with a good book, or go for a solitary walk.

Find time to give to yourself over the next few weeks so that you have the energy to give to others. 

2. Clear Boundaries

Make a plan.

First, let's talk money.

What’s your holiday budget? In other words, how much money are you willing to spend on gifts, meals and outings?

Honestly look at what you have and what you can comfortably afford.

Now let's talk about tasks.

Having guests and family?

Why not make a chore list.

Decide what needs to be done, write it out, then have people sign up. That way the burden of cooking, cleaning and shopping doesn’t solely fall on you.

Plus then you're not angry, resentful or overworked!

3. Schedule Fun

Make sure that throughout the next few weeks, the activities and tasks you do are FUN for you.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the hype or get completely focused on taking care of everyone else. Don’t forget about yourself and what you love most about this time of year.

For me, it’s getting a fresh tree and decorating it along with the house. I play all of my favorite holiday music like A Charlie Brown's Christmas. 

I also love special holiday foods (especially desserts). So I enjoy researching new recipes, making them and then, of course, eating! 

4. Seek Balance

Since I was just mentioning indulging in special holiday treats, be mindful about it. In other words, enjoy and savor those specialities - be it fudge, gingerbread, yule logs, eggnog and the like. But also counterbalance that with exercise, movement as well as fresh fruits and vegetables.

5. Make Your Time Meaningful

How can you really savor this special time?

Be truly present with yourself, your loved ones and each and every moment. 

Throughout your day, take a minute to breathe in and express gratitude for all you have. That can instantly change everything.

Think too about the customs or traditions you enjoy around this time of year - lighting candles, going to mass, chorale singing.

How can you feed your soul this holiday season?

Try incorporating these 5 tips and see how much of a difference they can make for you.

My wish for you is that the next few weeks are the most fulfilling, inspiring, loving weeks in your life, and that you have a peaceful, joyful rest of 2017. AND may you get everything your heart desires!

Stay in touch! Feel free to leave a comment below about your holiday season.

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What’s Your Preference? Routines or Goals

Tell me about your schedule:

• Do you wake up everyday at exactly the same time?
• Often eat the same meal for breakfast?
• Don’t particularly like it when there are last minute changes in your day?
• Work best knowing there’s a deadline?
• Enjoy crossing items off your To Do List?
• Prefer projects with clear beginning and end dates?

If the first 3 questions resonated with you, you’re likely more of a routine person. Meaning that you prefer life to be consistent, regular. You do your best work when things are humming along and you are in your flow.

If, instead, the latter 3 seemed more fun and fitting to your personality, you’re likely to be more goal oriented.

Neither one is bad or good. It’s just helpful to understand yourself and your own rhythms.

And even if you find that you have a preference, one over the other, they are not mutually exclusive!

Lots of people who prefer routine also have goals, and goal oriented folks need routine to get stuff done!

Here are a few tips to keep you on track:

Routine Folks

Be aware that you thrive best with a steady daily schedule.

1. Create a Healthy Routine

You want your life to support you in mind, body AND spirit. That includes scheduling time for exercising, play, social, and contemplative time.

2. Mix It Up

See if you can throw a little spice into your routine now and again just to get you out of that box! Maybe it’s a spontaneous movie night or social engagement.

Goal Peeps

Goal people can tend to procrastinate and wait until the last minute to get stuff done. This can be SUPER stressful.

1. Think about Time Management

This is where lists and spreadsheets come in really handy as does scheduling. Because like it or not, goal oriented people need some kind of plan/schedule to get everything done!

2. Make Lists

I used to work with a wonderful coach and this was her method:

• Write everything that you have to do down on a piece of paper. Research shows it's actually MORE effective writing by hand!
• Next, put 1s next to each item that has to get done immediately, 2s next to the second most urgent tasks, etc.)
• Step it out from there, looking at all the 1s, prioritize them so you have 1a, 1b, 1c… you get the point.

3. Create a Timeline

Excel is a simple tool for project management. I use it all the time to break down projects into smaller bits then I assign each one a deadline. Of course there are LOTS of time management softwares out there too. If you want an app (many of which are FREE), here are some to check out:

•    RemindMe
•    RescueTime
•    Remember the Milk
•    Focus Booster
•    Toggl (Here's a great review on this app)
•    Evernote
•    Mind42
•    MyLifeOrganized
•    Zendone

Kinda feeling like your both goal oriented and need a routine?

Good!

Because if you REALLY want to accomplish and achieve an amazing life, you’re gonna have to learn to master both.

But don’t worry, nothing is ever too hard, especially with all the support and tools at your disposal.

Celebrate whichever you are – goal oriented or routine based- and honor yourself for your own unique and creative way to live and be of service.

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