Procrastinate Tomorrow: 5 Ways To Push Through
For many of us, procrastination feels like the bane of our existence.
It’s the voice saying, “I know I should be…,” the project you just don’t have time for, or the dream going unfulfilled.
I used to procrastinate with everything. I’d drag my feet, wait until the last minute, freak out and then just before the deadline, get it done. But after awhile, I realized that my pattern was causing me so much stress. I hated feeling the pressure and tension.
That’s when I decided to make some adjustments in how I approached my life. And here’s what I found most useful:
For many of us, procrastination feels like the bane of our existence.
It’s the voice saying, “I know I should be…,” the project you just don’t have time for, or the dream going unfulfilled.
I used to procrastinate with everything. I’d drag my feet, wait until the last minute, freak out and then just before the deadline, get it done. But after awhile, I realized that my pattern was causing so much stress. I hated feeling the pressure and tension.
That’s when I decided to make some adjustments in how I approached my life. And here’s what I found most useful:
1. Just Start
What you’re dealing with is the mind, your own resistance to taking action.
Be gentle with yourself. Suggest that you do one thing, one small act: an email, a blog post, a phone call, a walk around the park, reading 10 pages of your assignment.
Do one thing to get you started.
For whatever reason, the mind is fearful- fear of change, of growing, of an unknown. And the best way to deal with fear is to take action.
When you don’t take action, you’re stuck in the loop.
The mind is always saying, “you know you should be reading, researching, walking…” You ignore the voice and watch TV, eat chips, do the crossword puzzle. But it’s still there, like a broken record.
I was most chronic with this about exercising. And one day my Dad said to me, “You’d have been done hours ago if you’d just gone for a run. Think of all the time and energy you’ve wasted thinking about it.”
Stop thinking about what to do and take action.
2. Small Pieces
Sometimes a project can seem or feel overwhelming. It’s a massive undertaking. Something you’ve never done before. Where do you start?
Break it down into steps or pieces.
Think about your project as stepping stones. What is the first thing that needs to get done? And the second?
When we put things into bite size pieces, it suddenly doesn’t feel as overwhelming or huge.
Now it’s manageable.
I took a writing class recently and the instructor was talking about completing a manuscript, which, as you can imagine, consists of many chapters. (and chapters are comprised of scenes.) She suggested you write the titles of every scene on scraps of paper, cut them up and throw them into a jar. Then when you’re ready to sit down and write, you pull one of your pieces of paper out of the jar and write that scene.
Talk about bite size pieces!
3. Schedule Time
There’s a huge project on your horizon. You’ve decided to break it into small pieces. Now make sure that you schedule it out.
Plot out over time exactly when you're going to do each piece.
When I was completing my Master’s program in Social Work, I was taking care of my family and had a full time job so time was tight. The only way I was able to manage the workload was to create a schedule.
At the beginning of the semester, I reviewed everything I was required to do: tests, papers, presentations, and then I scheduled them – when I would work on each one - which days, which projects.
And then I did it.
Some days I definitely did not want to, but it was what I had to do in order to stay sane and complete all the work.
4. Ask For Help
A number of years ago, I was tasked with accrediting the school my husband and I founded. That process required clearly communicating all of the school’s operating procedures and processes through writing and massive documentation.
I had never done a project like that. It was enormous and felt totally overwhelming.
I created a timeline and broke down each part so I knew exactly what I had to do by a certain date. But even then I watched myself delay.
That’s’ when I realized I needed help. I needed to understand exactly how to complete the accreditation paperwork. So I went and received professional training which I was able to do for free!
Getting the help you need can be key.
What do you feel like you don’t know? Who can help you?
5. Create Space
Where is your special spot for work, exercise, creativity?
Overcoming procrastination is about creating healthy habits and one of the easiest ways to do that is to have a designated space. When you go to this specific place, you’re ready to work, play, draw or run.
I know a woman who always carries her gym bag in her car. That way she has no excuse for not going to exercise after work. She creates the opportunity.
Clean off that desk, create a beautiful space for you to want to be in to get those exciting projects done!
As Robert Holden reminds us, “procrastinate tomorrow.”
Nowadays when I find myself not wanting to begin a project, I will actually say those words to myself and they help me get going. I pick one thing to start and before I know it, the entire day has flown by!
Let me know how it goes for you.
Which of the above do you think is most helpful? Leave me a comment below!
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Feel It & Heal It: 5 Steps to Transform Pain
I was 15 years old the first time I consciously felt anxiety and had just started my sophomore year at a new boarding school. The souring in my stomach and the fear that blinded me was terrifying. So I bolted down the stairs of my dorm, and headed straight to the vending machines. I wanted to push away and bury all that anxiety and uncertainty.
By October, I’d gained twenty pounds because I didn’t know how to deal with dark emotions like: discomfort, anxiety, pain, anguish, frustration, resentment…
It took me 10 years to learn how to be present and experience these uncomfortable feelings.
Now when they come up, do I like it? Not really.
I was 15 years old the first time I consciously felt anxiety and had just started my sophomore year at a new boarding school. The souring in my stomach and the fear that blinded me was terrifying. So I bolted down the stairs of my dorm, and headed straight to the vending machines. I wanted to push away and bury all that anxiety and uncertainty.
By October, I’d gained twenty pounds because I didn’t know how to deal with dark emotions like: discomfort, anxiety, pain, anguish, frustration, resentment…
It took me 10 years to learn how to be present and experience these uncomfortable feelings.
Now when they come up, do I like it? Not really.
Is it fun? Absolutely not.
Is it worth it? Definitely.
And here’s why – because you can’t heal something unless you allow yourself to feel it.
If you're ready to open up and move through your own emotional pain, here's a road map:
1. Make Space
Be okay with whatever you’re feeling. Allow it to be in the room, to be in your body.
Instead of trying to push the uncomfortable feeling away, avoid it or, like I used to do, stuff it under food, allow it to exist. Rumi’s Guest House poem is the perfect reminder. In it, he describes himself as a guest house – opening the door and welcoming all visitors (his emotions)- whatever they may be, and inviting them in. Here’s a link to it.
2. Give Yourself Permission
It’s okay to have bad thoughts, cruel thoughts, unkind thoughts. We all do, we’re human! Give yourself permission to just feel what you feel. Mad at yourself or another, rage, vindictive.
When I was a girl, my mother used to say, “you’re not responsible for your feelings, only your actions.” Maybe at times I did want to kill my sister but I never actually did it.
3. Release Judgment
Part of why we don’t even allow ourselves to feel dark emotions, is because we immediately judge ourselves. The inner critic starts, “don’t think that” or “who are you to…” or “you shouldn’t feel angry about that because…”
Try allowing yourself to experience anger, hurt, jealousy without judging it – no inner critic, no running dialog. Just feel it and see where that takes you.
Do this without judging it or you.
4. Get Dirty
Once you make space for these dark emotions without judgment, the real work begins. Dig in. What is the source of the frustration? Hurt? Anxiety? What does it trigger or link to? See if you can find the root, because that is where the healing is.
As a teenager, my anxiety got triggered because I felt stupid, inadequate, not enough. Sometimes these same ghosts pop up when I try new things, take risks or new chances. Today, I sit with that feeling of inadequacy to see where it takes me. Usually it goes back to childhood where I can love the little girl and cherish her.
5. Let It Go
Once you’ve processed those uncomfortable feelings, you can release them. As we free up these internal spaces, we make room for more clarity, more energy, more focus and power. It’s like cleaning house, internally.
The real work of our lives is to be present with our own beings – when we feel elated and blissful as well as when we feel frightened and insecure. Allow it all to be. Experience the good and the bad, knowing that every moment offers insights and lessons. Heal and keep opening to life, to love and to you.
Life is a process requiring us to constantly open. Open to our own inner beings as much as anything else. Take some time to explore your triggers, the places where judgment and anxiety lie. What lessons are waiting there for you?
The work may not be “fun” but it is powerful and transformational and SO worth it.
Be sure to let me know how it goes - feel free to drop a message below!
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4 Simple Ways to Deal with Conflict
Some people love to argue and fight. Part of me is in awe of these gutsy folks because I am the opposite. I hate arguing. I don’t even like watching other people fight.
Instead, my typical response was always one of three things: I avoided the confrontation or I worked hard at making peace, smoothing things over or acting like it was no big deal.
But as I moved more into being authentic, none of these behaviors felt genuine. They were just ways that I was ignoring myself, allowing myself to be quieted or swallowing how I really felt. And then, when I ran a business, I had no choice because conflict was in my face.
It was time to deal with it.
Some people love to argue and fight. Part of me is in awe of these gutsy folks because I am the opposite. I hate arguing. I don’t even like watching other people fight.
Instead, my typical response was always one of three things: I avoided the confrontation or I worked hard at making peace, smoothing things over or acting like it was no big deal.
But as I moved more into being authentic, none of these behaviors felt genuine. They were just ways that I was ignoring myself, allowing myself to be quieted or swallowing how I really felt. And then, when I ran a business, I had no choice because conflict was in my face.
It was time to deal with it.
With guidance from co-workers and coaches, and years of practice, here’s what I’ve learned.
1. Think Before You Talk
Not everyone has the ability to come up with a smart reply in an instant. So, instead of reliving the moment with all of your witty “should have said” remarks, move on.
Your time is better spent thinking about what you really want to say. Create an argument, a rationale about what you believe and why. Draw on facts, and examples to lend persuasion.
2. Keep Your Emotions in Check
Have you ever heard the expression, once you get angry, you’ve lost?
When you feel really passionate about something, whether you’ve been wronged or desperately want another person to see your point of view, it’s easy to get impassioned, heated, or intense.
But emotion doesn’t often work in your favor. Usually, as emotion escalates, the argument loses ground. In other words, it becomes easier for the person to ignore you or to discredit your ideas, chalking it all up to overreaction, melodrama or hysteria.
3. Show Up – Don’t Avoid
Trust me when I say it’s better to speak up, get it out and move on.
I’ve spent lots of time avoiding issues both in my personal life and in business. But it’s always the same. Nothing changes until we’re ready to show up. And often times, by not confronting an issue, it can actually get worse.
The next time you find yourself wanting to avoid a sensitive topic, check in. What will it take for you to talk to that co-worker? Or tell your mate that you need help with chores? Or confront your child about the state of his room?
4. Connect Within
Nowadays, when I find myself upset about something, the first thing I do is check in with me. Is this real? Do I have a legitimate reason to be upset or is this something I am not seeing clearly?
If my internal answer confirms that there is a problem, I then ask for guidance. How can I resolve this? What is my next step? What do I need to do?
I also use affirmation to support me during this time.
One of my favorites is something I adapted from Louise Hay and if I’m really upset or afraid, I’ll repeat it over and over again. “Out of this situation only good will come. I see this issue being resolved for the highest good of everyone involved. I am safe.”
It helps me stay brave, calms me down and has the benefit of really helping a situation shift!
Whether you like it or not, conflict is a part of life. And learning to deal with it from a place of the heart is key. It can transform your life as well as those around you.
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Manifest Your Holiday Miracle
The other morning I turned the page for my new lesson in A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and here is what it said; “I am entitled to miracles.”
I smiled.
First because I love that idea, and second because it felt so timely, given that Christmas and Chanukah are right around the corner.
I’ve always been fascinated with miracles, magic and what seemed like “other-worldly stuff.” To me, miracles were the foray of Gods, of holy people, of wonder. They weren’t something that a mere mortal such as myself could perform.
Until I learned more - that we, you and I, co-create our world with God.
The other morning I turned the page for my new lesson in A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and here is what it said; “I am entitled to miracles.”
I smiled.
First because I love that idea, and second because it felt so timely, given that Christmas and Chanukah are right around the corner.
I’ve always been fascinated with miracles, magic and what seemed like “other-worldly stuff.” To me, miracles were the foray of Gods, of holy people, of wonder. They weren’t something that a mere mortal such as myself could perform.
Until I learned more - that we, you and I, co-create our world with God.
One thing that I really appreciate about A Course in Miracles it that it’s like a handbook for how to do that. In fact, on page 3 it details 50 principles to describe a miracle!
Here Are my Top 10 Definitions of a Miracle
1. There is no order of difficulty in miracles.
One is not "harder" or "bigger" than another. They are all the same. All expressions of love are maximal.
2. Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
3. Prayer is the medium of miracles.
It is a means of communication of the created with the Creator. Through prayer love is received, and through miracles love is expressed.
4. Miracles are both beginnings and endings, and so they alter the temporal order.
They are always affirmation of rebirth, which seem to go back but really go forward. They undo the past in the present, and thus release the future.
5. Miracles are teaching devices for demonstrating it it as blessed to give as to receive.
They simultaneously increase the strength of the giver and supply strength to the receiver.
6. A miracle is a service.
It is the maximal service you can render to another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself. You recognize your own and your neighbor's worth simultaneously.
7. Miracles reawaken the awareness that the spirit, not the body, is the altar of truth.
This is the recognition that leads to the healing power of the miracle.
8. Miracles are natural signs of forgiveness.
Through miracles you accept God's forgiveness by extending it to others.
9. The miracle acknowledges everyone as your brother and mine.
It is a way of perceiving the universal mark of God.
10. The miracle is a learning device that lessens the need for time.
It establishes an out-of-pattern time interval not under the usual laws of time. In this sense it is timeless.
As we head into the holidays, think about Jesus as an example of one who recognized his own divinity.
Why not embrace your own ability to manifest miracles?
Be love, share love and open up to the wonderment of life this season.
Use prayer to set intention and visualize perfect healing, manifestation or whatever it is that your life needs.
You can do this – it is your nature and right. And as we are taught in ACIM, “Miracles are natural. When they do not occur, something has gone wrong."
So get to work!
Don’t forget to let me know how it goes – share your miracles with me.
Leave a comment below.
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Access Your Power Now
Letting go of old, limiting beliefs gives you power. It frees you up to be exactly who you want to be and live your truth, your light and love.
I was reminded again this morning.
As I was meditating, the words that came were, “as we release our samsara, we make room in our lives for the things we truly want.”
Samsara is a Sanskrit word that describes the cycle of life- from birth to death. This includes all the actions of our lives, the karma we accrue and bring forward into the next incarnation, etc.
I think about samsara, too, as the bodily goo that gets attached to us once we take form and become human. It’s the stuff- the emotions, relationships, duties, obligations, beliefs- that ground us in a physical form and ego.
Letting go of old, limiting beliefs gives you power. It frees you up to be exactly who you want to be and live your truth, your light and love.
I was reminded again this morning.
While I was meditating, the words that came were, “as we release our samsara, we make room in our lives for the things we truly want.”
Samsara is a Sanskrit word that describes the cycle of life- from birth to death. This includes all the actions of our lives, the karma we accrue and bring forward into the next incarnation, etc.
I think about samsara, too, as the bodily goo that gets attached to us once we take form and become human. It’s the stuff- the emotions, relationships, duties, obligations, beliefs- that ground us in a physical form and ego.
As we release the bonds – the limitations – we impose on ourselves, it frees us to move into our spirit selves and become truly who we are.
Here are a few tools to help you release that which you no longer want:
1. The Breath
Breathing is the most powerful tool in our repertoire. It has the ability to physically regulate our bodies, instantly reduce anxiety or tension as well as the ability to bring us directly into the moment.
In the moment, you are free. There is no judgment, no suffering, no past, no future.
The breath is the way we connect to the universal truth, to God, to source.
Use this tool for it will change your life.
To support you on your journey, each month I’ll send out a new breathing exercise for you to try.
Use it and see how your life unfolds. The breath helps you open up to your own inner knowing, to awareness.
2. Meditation & Prayer
These two go hand in hand for one is the asking and the other the receiving. Meditation is your time to relax and allow yourself to float in the river of love. It is the time to commune with your God and yourself in a place of refuge.
If you haven’t already downloaded some of my guided meditations, I invite you to access the kit now. Here
3. Psychotherapy/Coaching
Elizabeth Lesser, the founder of The Omega Institute, and author of Cracked Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, talks about the importance of therapy.
She writes about her own process of seeing how old patterns of behavior were keeping her stuck. She says, “What I learned in the safe and sacred room of my therapist’s office was that the same energy I was exerting to keep things from being revealed could be used for a far more exciting and rewarding struggle: to return my soul to my body, to return myself to myself. After that, anything would be possible.”
In essence, we have to heal ourselves, our egos and childhood wounds in order to open ourselves up to truly be vessels for truth, for God’s work, for love. To let the samsara go.
If you’re ready to release that which no longer serves you and claim your life, take advantage of my special Fall coaching special. It’s happening right now. Learn more
This is the work we are here to do – remember who we are.
It’s scary but it’s the journey of a life time and will awaken you to truly be the hero you are.
I'm here to help you every step along the way. Join me today!
5 Ways to Foster Resilience
Last month, a former student visited my husband at the K-8 school we founded in 2004. He came to catch up, say hi and share that he was moving to Chicago for college.
I call Shawn an angel boy and here's why.
When he first showed up eight years ago, he was a scrawny 4th grader who couldn’t read. He also seemed hyperactive and had had some discipline issues at his previous school.
His adopted mother met with us and essentially begged us to “take care of her son.”
She was already on hospice and knew she only had a few more weeks to live. She was determined to find him a place where he could be loved.
Last month a former student visited my husband at the K-8 school we founded in 2004. He came to catch up, say hi and share that he was moving to Chicago for college.
I call Shawn an angel boy and here's why.
When he first showed up eight years ago, he was a scrawny 4th grader who couldn’t read. He also seemed hyperactive and had discipline issues at his previous school.
His adopted mother met with us and essentially begged us to “take care of her son.”
She was already on hospice and knew she had only a few more weeks to live. She was determined to find him a place where he could be loved.
Shortly after Shawn started school, his mother died and his adult sister – a biological daughter- took him in. Most days an elderly man that Shawn referred to as Dad, picked him up. About a year into school, we learned that this man was dying of cancer, too.
How unfair for Shawn, I remember thinking, to be adopted and then lose both of those parents.
But nothing seemed to phase him.
Shawn came to school every day to learn. He worked hard, easily made friends and showed a compassion and empathy for the younger children that was clearly beyond his years. They all loved him.
He kept growing too, getting taller and lankier. In the five years he was with us, he learned how to read, write, did countless oral presentations, conquered math and science, built his self-confidence and graduated.
He went on to a rough high school.
But instead of partying or getting into drugs, he played football and focused on his course work. That perseverance earned him a scholarship to college where I know he will soar. All because he wants to.
He came back, he told my husband, to say thank you.
What is it that allows people to overcome so much adversity and thrive?
Why do some people, who are handed everything, sink into addiction, and others, who can’t seem to get a break, thrive?
I look at Shawn as one of those thrivers. That’s why I call him an angel child.
It’s like every awful thing that’s happened to him doesn’t touch the core of who he is. As if from an early age he simply knew that he was more than a family, more than a body, that he was here with a divine purpose.
He humbles and awes me.
Recently I heard of another woman who overcame tremendous adversity, Amy Purdy. Have you heard her Ted Talk?
She became ill with bacterial meningitis that caused her to go into a coma. She lost her spleen, kidneys and legs below the knees. Yet she went on to be a top performing athlete and was recently on Dancing With The Stars.
How can we foster resiliency to better weather adversity and life challenges?
Here are 5 Ways
1. Keep Your Eye On The Prize
In other words, vision what you want.
Set you intentions and goals and be relentless in your pursuit of them, not letting anything stop you. For Amy Purdy, that was snowboarding. Even lying in her hospital bed, she saw herself up on the slopes, felt the wind on her face and was relentless in that vision.
2. Persevere
Once you see your vision with absolute clarity, take action and don’t give up. It’s about fostering that spirit of determination, a willingness to do whatever it takes to get your goal.
Ask yourself, what’s the next thing I have to do?
3. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
When you stay focused on an intention or goal, let that be the overriding thought. If little things frustrate or obstruct you, simply move around them, knowing that you have a bigger plan. Don’t spend any time and energy concerned about the rejection letter, a missed tackle or a wipe out on the slopes.
4. Reframe
This is all about how we look at life.
Did you get fired because someone hates you or because it was time for you to move on and get a better paying job?
When we can look at the circumstances of our lives and feel like they are happening for us instead of to us, we move from feeling like a victim into being empowered.
Another way to think about this is how my teacher Ma Jaya used to say it. “If you don’t consume the world the world consumes you.”
5. Connect To The Eternal Part Of You
An important component to fostering resilience is to remember that you are a soul having a human experience.
In this place, it’s easier not to take the world so seriously, to not experience the pain so intensely. This is earth school.
The easiest way to connect to this part of yourself is through having a spiritual practice and doing meditation. Other ways are through yoga or doing service work. Where can you volunteer or help?
Nurturing resiliency in ourselves is a key to not just surviving in this world but thriving. It’s time for you to claim your life. Step into what it is you came here to do. Life’s waiting for you.
Can you relate?
Share ONE challenge you've overcome in your life and leave a comment below!
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Skydiving - A Lesson In Trust
About a month ago, I finally went skydiving!
I’d been flirting with the idea for 30 years but it just never happened.
And then I got scared.
Around the winter holidays, my daughter started bugging us to go skydiving as a family.
I reluctantly agreed and we scheduled to go in January. Our reservation repeatedly got canceled due to bad weather. My daughter returned to college and I was off the hook!
As the months ticked by, I began to realize that I had to face this fear.
About a month ago, I finally went skydiving!
I’d been flirting with the idea for 30 years but it just never happened.
And then I got scared.
Around the winter holidays, my daughter started bugging us to go skydiving as a family.
I reluctantly agreed and we scheduled to go in January. Our reservation repeatedly got canceled due to bad weather. My daughter returned to college and I was off the hook!
As the months ticked by, I began to realize that I had to face this fear.
Could I jump out of an airplane and be present instead of feeling paralyzed?
By May, I was ready. My daughter came home again and this time, the weather cooperated.
It was a beautiful spring morning. We got to the airport hangar and began filling out pages of liability forms. I voluntarily signed my life away. Then they strapped me into a tandem harness and we all crawled into the plane.
I was determined to be fully present.
My instructor was knowledgeable and super easy going which helped me relax even more.
The plane took off and flew over the Indian River Lagoon, Sebastian Inlet and the central east coast of Florida. As I took in the gorgeous panorama, I realized that I had nothing to do. I was simply along for the ride. My only job was to enjoy.
I was the first one out of the plane.
I jumped and screamed until I remembered that it didn’t feel like I was falling. I stopped shouting and inhaled comfortably thorough my nose. I relaxed and lengthened my body into a “banana” as my instructor had told me. He tapped my shoulder and I opened my arms.
I looked up and around. The wind pummeled my face and body as we continued our free fall.
Before I new it, the parachute opened and we were floating in silence. “Welcome to my office,” I heard from behind me. I smiled. It was an exquisite view.
“I’m just going to loosen these straps around your arms.”
“No!” Even though the straps were cutting into me, I immediately feared I’d fall out.
“It’s okay,” he replied, his voice even and calm as he pulled the tabs.
Nothing happened and my chest and arms were much more comfortable.
Then he said he was going to do it for my legs.
Again I panicked. “I’m fine.” I replied, not caring that the straps were practically cutting off my circulation.
“I’m supposed to,” he answered.
My instinct was to pivot around, grab him and hold on. I was afraid that somehow the straps would fail and I’d plummet to the ground.
Again, nothing happened except that my legs felt so much better.
After floating a bit longer, he offered to let me hold on to the parachute handles.
“That’s okay,” I said. Again afraid something would go wrong.
Soon he was instructing me on how to land and the entire experience was over.
I’d done it.
Later, while talking about our respective jumps with my family, I realized that I was still scared. And what came up was my lack of trust.
- Trusting that the harness would support me.
- Trusting that the instructor really knew what he’s doing.
- Trusting that I was really safe in the Universe.
- Trusting that I wouldn’t die.
I’ve come a long way with my relationship with trust. I used to trust no one. I couldn’t even relax and let go while I meditated.
Now I trust people, situations, and God but certain things still trigger me. And that’s when I realize I have more work to do.
How can I really believe that I am safe?
When I reflect back on my life, I have always been provided for and protected. And skydiving was exactly the same. Nothing happened. I was perfectly safe and comfortable.
So really, it’s just an old mind habit.
If you feel it come up for you try these great reminders:
1. Breathe
Inhale and come into the present moment.
After I jumped out of the plane and was initially frozen, I came back to awareness and realized I was not even experiencing a dropping sensation. Then I could breathe, relax and enjoy.
2. Use an Affirmation
One of my all time favorites is from Louise Hay. “I am safe in the Universe and all of life loves and supports me.” This was all I had to say to myself as my straps got loosened, right?
3. Keep Pushing Through the Fear
For decades I wouldn’t even try skydiving because I was scared something bad might happen. But for years, I lived so close to the airport in Sebastian that I could hear parachutes opening above me all day long. And they were safe. So I finally just had to walk myself through the irrational belief.
You are always bigger than your fear.
One of the reminders on my vision board is this: Be brave! I pass those words on to you.
Whatever it is that feels like it’s holding you back, it’s really just you. Jump in and do it anyway. And let me know how it goes! Tell me ONE thing you’ll do to push through your fear! Leave me a comment below! I’ll see you there.
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Love: The Antidote to Tragedy
know I’m not alone in feeling despondent about the tragic and brutal murder of 49 innocent people on Sunday morning in Orlando.
For two days I was in denial about it. I just didn’t want to feel it, believe it was real. That someone could voluntarily harm innocent people right here in my own back yard.
And yet daily, the news is filled with stories like this. Of violence in every country, and city, affecting all walks of life.
So how, as sensitive, loving people, do we face tragedy and not shy away, give up or become hostile?
Love.
I know I’m not alone in feeling despondent about the tragic and brutal murder of 49 innocent people on Sunday morning in Orlando.
For two days I was in denial about it. I just didn’t want to feel it, believe it was real, that someone could voluntarily harm innocent people right here in my own back yard.
And yet daily, the news is filled with stories like this - of violence in every country, and city, affecting all walks of life.
So how, as sensitive, loving people, do we face tragedy and not shy away, give up or become hostile?
Love.
Every day I pray for peace. I pray that our world will shift from a paradigm of fear and lack to one of unlimited abundance and unconditional love.
I know I’m not alone. I know that most of us want that too.
We, the silent majority, want a life of peace.
We not only accept but embrace each other for our differences. We celebrate diversity – in all its varied forms- as part of the glorious manifestation of life.
And yet when tragedy hits, it’s easy to become scared, silent, stay at home, hunker down.
But how can love win if we all hide?
Instead, each one of us has an obligation to act in love.
What can we do?
1. Stand Up
Many cities have already organized marches and other events. Check out what’s happening in your area both civically and at local places of faith. See how you can get involved.
Where I am, there is an interfaith service and candle light vigil. I currently live 90 miles from Orlando so my community has been hit hard.
2. Speak Up
We need to fight for sane, common sense gun laws. How many innocent lives must be lost before we, as a country, finally say enough?
Sign a petition, or even better, call your local representative.
Tell him or her that it’s time we end this cycle of violence, time to terminate loop holes that allow people who are mentally unstable or are known to have associated with terrorist groups to legally purchase semi-automatic weapons.
You have more power than you realize. And believe it or not, politicians actually work for you. Let them know that this needs to stop NOW.
3. Lead by Example
Many of us who are parents wonder how to explain hatred and violence. Lately it feels like life just gets more insane. But then I have to remind myself of other times, when life was filled with uncertainty and chaos.
Embody love, tolerance and acceptance.
How can you show your compassion and kindness today?
Children learn best through example. So instead of despairing or saying, "that’s the way it is and we can’t do anything," take a stand. Bring your kids to a march, a vigil or let them know that you are calling on congress to make changes.
Be empowered and your children will too. This way, love will win.
4. Pray
I invite you to join me to pray for peace not only in your country but across the world.
May all sentient beings be free from suffering, and have adequate food, clothing, shelter and habitat. May we shift from a paradigm of fear and lack to one of love, abundance, acceptance and sustainability.
Envision the world as whole and healed. All of life is thriving in a safe, loving and pollution free world.
Here is a link to help you take action.
Let me know what you're planning on doing. Leave a comment below and share how love WILL win!
Join our community where love thrives.
Quit the Diet and Eat Mindfully: 5 Ways to Start Today
We all know diets don’t work. So why do we keep doing them?
Study after study proves people who diet gain back all the weight they lost and often gain even more. Now even neuroscience is confirming this.
Diets are a form of deprivation that our brains respond to by thinking we are starving and then slowing our metabolism rates which is why we plateau and don’t lose more weight.
I stopped dieting over twenty years ago.
We all know diets don’t work. So why do we keep doing them?
Study after study proves people who diet gain back all the weight they lost and often gain even more. Now even neuroscience is confirming this.
Diets are a form of deprivation that our brains respond to by thinking we are starving and then slowing our metabolism rates which is why we plateau and don’t lose more weight.
I stopped dieting over twenty years ago.
In fact, I never even weigh myself. For most of my childhood, adolescence and into my twenties, I was an emotional binge eater. Whenever I felt anxiety, fear, stress or depression, I ate.
Throughout those years, I dieted almost non-stop and often did punishing exercise routines. My weight constantly fluctuated, mostly upwards. I weighed anywhere between thirty to fifty pounds more than I do now.
When I decided to stop dieting, I was faced with redefining my relationship with food. That was the only way I was going to heal myself.
And I did that by learning how to eat mindfully.
If, like me, you’ve realized that diets don’t work and it’s time to create a new relationship with food, here are 5 ways to get started today.
1. Ground Into Your Body
Allow yourself to experience your physical self. I know this may be scary. For me, my body was the enemy – fat and embarrassing. I pretended it didn’t exist. Yet it did. I was walking around in it everyday.
Allow your awareness to come down into your body. Feel it. Be in it. Breathe love into your physical body and ground yourself in the here and now.
2. Check In
Once you’ve come down from your thoughts and feelings and into your physical body, ask yourself: Am I actually feeling physically hungry or do I just want to eat?
I used to eat so I didn’t have to feel negative emotions or deal with the stress of life.
As you check in, you are able to respond rather than react.
Maybe you aren’t really hungry but feel totally paralyzed with fear about what’s on the To-Do List. What can you do instead of eating?
Often, I go for a walk, talk to a friend, do artwork or take action of some kind.
3. Slow Down
After you’ve checked in with your body and discovered that you really are physically hungry, the next question is: What do I want to eat? What does my body need?
When you’ve decided what that is and have it ready, sit down.
Inhale the aroma. Take a bite and savor it.
Focus only on eating and allow yourself to be fully present, no distractions. No videos, movies, TV, social media or email. Take your time and fully enjoy this moment of eating.
4. Thoughts
Pay attention to your thoughts while you’re eating. What are you saying to yourself? Are they kind words or unkind ones? Is the food pushing away fearful thoughts or are you congratulating yourself?
Allow yourself to hear those words – good or bad. Hearing them is the first step in healing them.
5. Judgment
Now that you’ve become aware of your thoughts, start keeping track. How many of them are judgments?
Things like: I can’t believe how fast I ate. I looked so bad on those pants. What’s wrong with me that I have this problem?
What steps could you take to stop judging yourself? What might that sound like instead?
Maybe the absence of judgment is silence or positive statements. Words such as: good job waiting until you were hungry to eat. Way to go on completing that project that was stressing you out. Your hair looks pretty today.
Judgment only hurts.
Mindfulness is about being in this moment, and allowing yourself to be fully present. Even if there is anxiety or discomfort. That means being in our bodies and in our heads, becoming like thought gardeners, vigilantly weeding out the negative ones.
Paying attention to your body and mind is the key to healthy eating habits, a positive mindset and a happy life. Use these tools and you’ll be well on your way to healing and health.
Are you ready? Tell me what you think below!
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Living the Dream
Have you ever had a person in your life who saw your inner beauty, your soul radiance?
I have.
One of the first times this happened, was when I lived in Hong Kong. I was in my early twenties, struggling to find my way as an adult, and living 10,000 miles away from my family, friends and culture.
I admit it, I was lonely and scared.
Have you ever had a person in your life who saw your inner beauty, your soul radiance?
I have.
One of the first times this happened, was when I lived in Hong Kong. I was in my early twenties, struggling to find my way as an adult, and living 10,000 miles away from my family, friends and culture.
I admit it, I was lonely and scared.
Six months later, I met Diana, a young woman from the U.K., and we instantly bonded. As I got to know her story, I soon discovered that she was in need of healing as much as I was.
But Diana’s challenges were not mine.
She was model material and looked like a Roman goddess with her shapely tan figure and aquiline silhouette. She was a water nymph, forever running around in a bikini, sun bathing and swimming in the warm ocean. In my eyes, she was the epitome of beautiful.
Not only that, but she oozed confidence.
She was a master painter and earned her living on commissions for oils. Her work reminded me of the classic art I’d studied both as an undergraduate and then in Italy. It could have hung in museums next to Ingres or David.
Meanwhile, I was dreadfully unhappy. Not only did I have no clue what I wanted to do, I didn’t even really know how to live a healthy life. Since arriving in Hong Kong six months earlier, I’d worked a job I loathed in a factory in the most polluted district in the territories.
Because I was afraid and alone, I’d buried all my fear and anxiety under mountains of food and had gained another forty pounds. To make matters worse, I’d then shaved off all of my long blond locks in an effort to “expose” myself and stop hiding. I now resembled a Buddhist nun.
Looking back, I can say that I was deeply immersed in a “dark night of the ego.”
I was shedding aspects of myself, questioning who I was, trying to make sense of the world. But I didn’t know how to walk through the process and felt both alone and petrified.
Despite being only twenty, Diana had a timeless wisdom. She immediately saw through the extra pounds, the glasses, the shorn hair, straight to my essence, to my inner beauty.
Not only that, she saw through my self hatred and shame. And instead spoke to the inner radiant goddess that dwelled inside of me. Her ability to hold me in that space helped me crack out of my own self judgment, emotionally buoyed me and gave me the confidence I needed to take real action.
With her support, I got clear about what I must have in my life. Then I began to make the changes I desperately needed. First, I quit my job and within two months found a new one that fit all my criteria. Next I moved house.
As I acted, I began to claim my power. All because she saw me when I couldn't see it for myself
Is there someone in your life who sees your magnificence?
Someone who can hold the space and knows who you are in the world?
I currently have a Master Mind partner who does this for me. I paint a picture of how I want my life to unfold, how I want to show up in the world, and she not only sees it, she cheers me on, builds it up, brainstorms with me to make that vision manifest.
We all need these light-holders, these love seers in our lives.
Who is doing that for you?
Is it a best friend, a relative, a pastor, coach or therapist?
Take inventory. Look around at your support system, at who surrounds you. Are these folks backing you up, validating your dreams, and helping to elevate you?
If so, you’re in good hands. Because here’s the thing: We can’t do it alone. We need help, we need support, we need cheerleaders.
If you don’t have a team or a trusted confidante, think about who around you could be one. Is there someone you really trust? Or someone you admire that you could reach out to?
We all have greatness within us but it can be hard for us to see it in ourselves. That’s why we need encouragement, support and that special person, seeing us in all our glorious magnificence to help us reach for the stars.