When I worked as a hospice social worker, I frequently sat with people who were actively dying, and talked about their lives, what brought them joy, and what they were afraid of.
So, the findings in the book, Top 5 Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by hospice nurse, Bronnie Ware weren’t a big surprise!
Can you guess what the #1 regret was?
Not being brave enough to live a life true to yourself.
In other words, not following your dreams.
Take a moment and ask yourself, will this be one of your regrets?
If the answer is YES, what needs to change so you can move more courageously towards being authentic and true to yourself and your unique calling?
The world desperately needs what you have to offer.
How about #2?
This regret was the wish to not have worked so hard.
Every single male patient Bronnie nursed said this statement! Holy smokes!
They regretted focusing their time and energy more on work, missing out on mile stones, anniversaries, plays and other events shared with their partner and family.
Certainly in the United States, we are a work centered culture. Saying, “I have to work,” is a free pass that gets you out of ANY situation – a funeral, a hospital visit, even a wedding.
But is working, working, working really how you want to spend this one wild, exciting life?
The #3 regret isn’t such a surprise.
It’s about being emotionally honest and expressing how you really feel.
Is this something you struggle with, too?
Do a quick internal inventory. Where are you not being emotionally honest and with whom?
How could you change that right now?
Interestingly, Bronnie draws a correlation between suppressing your emotions and getting physically ill…
The #4 regret is over not being better at nurturing friendships!
If you’re like me, you’re probably guilty of this one.
Life gets busy and we get caught up, forgetting to reach out and stay connected. Dr. Vivek Murthy, our current Surgeon General, suggests we dedicate 15 minutes each day to reaching out to someone -friend/family- who does not live with us, and connect! EVERY DAY!
The final regret is wishing to have been happier in life.
Bronnie said this one was surprisingly common.
In part it’s because we all say we want to be happy, but how many of us have actually stopped to consider what happiness means to us, and how we would experience it?
All the research tells us that true happiness, joy, is our original nature. We’ve simply tuned away from it, caught in status quo, in the familiar and comfortable instead.
This, coupled with fear of change, can keep us stuck. However, if you think about a smiling baby, what you’re seeing is your true nature reflected back to you- pure joy.
The invitation here is to do an honest inventory regardless of how old you are, or when you think you might die.
Life is happening right now, this moment.
Don’t you want to feel alive, engaged, happy, and authentic?
Orient yourself towards living a regret free and fulfilling life.
The next blog will offer you a 6-step approach to healing regret!
Stay tuned!
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Image courtesy of Pexels on Pixabay