5 Ways to Strengthen Your Resilience Muscle

Resilience was a hot word when I was in social work school.

We often pondered why some people were capable of weathering all kinds of hardships and others were not.

Was resilience an intrinsic skill or something we could actually teach?

What about you? How is your resilience?

Take an inventory of your life right now. How are you holding up?

Could you use a few tips?

Resilience, like most things, is a muscle that benefits from strengthening.

So here’s my top 5 list:

1. Carry On Regardless

This is a line straight out of a Van Morrison song from the album Magic Time. In the tune, Van sort of rants about the idiocies of the world then reminds us to carry on to “satisfy your soul.”

This is about attitude. It’s about strengthening your resolve to be a fighter and a winner.

It’s about not falling into wallowing, into a victim place, but instead, standing strong in the face of adversity, recognizing that you deserve everything -perfect health, happiness, and prosperity.

Take a look around, there are countless examples of people making lemonade out of lemons.

COVID-19 is an international invitation to get creative and rethink our global paradigm. Don’t you agree?

 How can your life change for the better? What is your soul asking of you?

2. Embody Your Body

Our bodies often pay the price of our negative thoughts or feelings. Don’t you agree?

It’s like you feel anxious, so you eat a bag of Doritos, or walk for 5 miles or binge watch the entire three seasons of Anne of Green Gables, and then your back is sore…

 Know what I’m talking about?

Check in with your physical body. Is there a way you could be kinder to your body right now?

• Do you need to stretch more, or go for daily walks?

• Would you benefit from a nice long soak in the tub?

• How about some deep belly breaths? Would that help?

Jot down what comes to you.

3. Deepen Your Spiritual Practice

If you don’t have a practice, now is a critical time to start. Don’t roll your eyes, or feel like you neither have the time nor the inclination.

Here’s the thing.

A practice is just that, a practice. It isn’t a test. It isn’t perfection.

It’s a willingness to connect to something deeper within yourself.

And you can do this in all sorts of ways.

Singing, chanting, mindful walking, following your breath, meditation, yoga, dance, EFT (tapping), prayer, ritual, poetry, church or temple service…

The list is endless. Choose something that resonates with you. And commit to 5 minutes a day.

 A spiritual practice will relieve anxiety, stress and fear. It helps you hold the pain and suffering more easily. It nurtures your soul and orients you towards what’s really real.

What’s on your list?

4. Connect

We all crave connection with ourselves, with other people and with nature. And in this time when we are solely relying on technology to connect us, it has brought that need right to the surface. We crave touch, hugs, smiles, interaction, a communion with trees, animals, loved ones.

 How can you connect more with people who uplift, inspire and hold you?

5. Have Fun

It’s easy to get super serious about the crisis we face. And I certainly am not belittling suffering here.

Having fun is about strengthening your resolve and resilience. It’s about reminding us why we are here at all. We are here to be the embodiment of love, of happiness, of joy. And that is a reason to celebrate. Isn’t celebration about having fun?

What’s one way you could have more fun in your life right now?

You have everything you need to succeed just as you are.

You are whole and perfect.

You are special and loved.

You are strong and capable.

You are resilient.

Keep strengthening that muscle.

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How Balanced Is Your Table?

I woke up the other morning remembering a concept that came to me in my early 20s.

 The idea is fairly simple, that there are 4 different quadrants of self:

• Mind, or intellect

• Emotions

• Physical Body

• Spirit

What I recognized back then was that some of these quadrants are easier to be in than others.

Take a moment and think about yourself.

Are you the kind of person who tends to focus on how you’re feeling and why? You like to dive into your motivations or reactions to life. If so, perhaps your primary comfort zone is the emotional quadrant.

Or do you feel best when you’re physically active? You have a job that requires a lot of movement. You enjoy physically exerting yourself. The body quadrant is comfortable to you.

Maybe you love knowledge and accumulating information. You read regularly, choose to audit classes or listen to podcasts. The intellect quadrant is a place of familiarity to you.

Perhaps you relish communing with spirit, through meditation, church, nature or yoga. Then you feel at home in the spiritual quadrant.

Whatever your preference, (there is no right or wrong) there are also quadrants that are more uncomfortable to reside in.

Maybe you really avoid talking about your feelings. Or have massive test anxiety because studying is super stressful. Perhaps you avoid physical exertion or dismiss spirituality as too “woo-woo.”

See if you can rank yourself from most comfortable to least in the 4 quadrants.

That’s what I did.

And what I realized, was that the quadrants I felt the least desire to be in, were the areas of my life I was avoiding. And these were actively taking me out, sabotaging me.

In other words, I had to bring love and light to every part of me, even if it made me feel insecure or uncomfortable.

That’s how we balance all the legs of the table. That’s how we come into balance in our lives.

That’s when we feel our best.

That’s how we access our true nature.

So what do you say?

In this time of change, we are all being asked to release those aspects of self that hold us back or actively sabotage our happiness and well being.

Be brave, walk into those areas you’ve been avoiding.

You know which ones they are.

And when you do, you won’t see anything scary. Even though that’s what it feels like.

You might find a little girl or boy who needs a hug and some reassurance. You might find a place in you that doesn’t feel deserving of love.

Can you love it anyway?

Can you accept that part of you?

And even if it feels frightening, can you try to step into it, and begin to occupy it?

If you are willing, you’ll be truly amazed by the results.

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3 Ways To Stay Sane & Loving During a Pandemic

All of us are now fully informed about COVID-19, or the corona virus that initially appeared in China, and has now infected humans across the globe.

And, in addition to that, there are shortages of hand sanitizer, masks, toilet paper and cleaning products!

But here’s the good news. In all likelihood, you will be absolutely fine AND there are simple and constructive ways to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.

Here they are:

1. Be Smart

Now is not the time to bury your head in the sand. Instead, stay informed.

BUT find legitimate news sources for your up to date information. AND don’t obsess.

Watching or reading the updates compulsively will only make you feel more stressed and panicked.

Instead, ask yourself these 2 questions:

What is the right amount of information for me?

How can I prepare without feeling scared?

2. Be Safe

Once you’re adequately informed about where outbreaks are, who is most at risk, and how to keep yourself healthy. Take Action

Do put into place the necessary precautions both for yourself and your environments. Meaning, know how to keep yourself and your home/work space/car clean.

Carry hand sanitizer with you at all times. If you’ve run out or cannot find any, here’s a link for making 9 recipes at home.

https://homeremedyshop.com/homemade-hand-sanitizer/

As for cleaning, that is simple too.

Don’t have any disinfectant or bleach spray?

Use hydrogen peroxide. I recently heard a professional crime scene cleaner say that’s what she always cleans with. Be sure the surfaces remain wet for 60 seconds to kill everything.

In a pinch, you can clean with white vinegar too since it’s also an anti-bacterial cleaner.

3. Be Kind

This virus threat is a perfect example of how fear can grip us. But ultimately fear only begets more fear.

How can you choose love and kindness instead?

Is there a neighbor who needs some help? Can you offer to share some of your supplies?

And when you are out and about, beam love with a smile.

Social distancing doesn’t preclude oral greetings, waves or smiles.

Phone calls, texts, and video conferencing are other ways to stay connected and express love and caring. So don’t be shy to call people, and let them know you’re thinking about them.

Even when we’re forced to be separate, we can still be kind, warm and friendly. After all, we are in this together.

So why not spread love? 

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Overcoming Loneliness: 3 New Mindsets

I was lying in bed thinking about a friend of mine. She's absolutely amazing - beautiful, talented, funny, kind, and single.

Apart from feeling like she wants a partner, it's more the feeling of BEING ALONE that plagues her.

Have you ever experienced that?

I know I have.

And let's be honest. Even if you are in a committed relationship, you can still feel alone. Or lonely. Right?

So what can we do about it? 

Here are 3 beliefs to help when you find yourself stuck in that place.

1. Illusion of Separation

In A Course in Miracles, we are told that the Original Sin is that we have forgotten that we are a part of God! 

So for all of you recovering Catholics and Christians, this new definition might help. 

We believe we are a separate self- a physical body and brain- but in fact we are a thought in the mind of God.

In Hinduism, we also learn that EVERYTHING is part of God. You, me, the rock, the tree, the water... you get the idea.

In essence it is our perception that we are separate that causes us pain.

How can you reconnect and remember that you actually are not a separate body, but spirit having a human experience? 

2. Ask for Help

When you think you are alone, it's easy to feel like you have to do everything by yourself. There is no one you can truly trust or rely on. No one who really has your back. 

It's you against the world.

And yet guidance is there, patiently waiting for us. We simply have to ask. 

Spirit has so much integrity that it does not presume. It won't jump in and volunteer. We have to ask. 

Ma Jaya, my guru, used to say that God waits and waits for us to ask. Happy to help. If we would just do it!

What guidance do you need in your life right now?​ What's preventing you from asking for it?

3. You Are Surrounded By Love & Support

At a workshop I attended years ago, the facilitator said, "In order for us to be in this time/space existence, we have to filter out 99.99999% of what is around us" because we are ALWAYS surrounded by our angels and guides. 

And, we can call on our teachers and ancestors any time, too.

Everything in life wants to support us.

Here is a meme to help you remember:

What would you do if you believed you were never alone?

It's easy to falsely presume that you're weak if you need help. But really it's the opposite. 

It is in opening and receiving true guidance that gives us real, genuine strength.

Why not try it and see how you feel?

I guarantee you'll never feel lonely again!

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How to Live A Guided Life

Tired of feeling alone?

Ready to have some Divine intervention in your life?

Want to feel aligned with Spirit?

You are not alone.

I want that too - even though it’s always been hard for me to ask for help.

Ever since I was little, I always believed I had to do everything myself. 

I never felt like I could rely on anyone to be there for me. Naturally, life kept providing opportunities to prove that this was true (ugh!)

In high school I was alienated from my friend group. In college, I quit drugs on my own. My first pregnancy, I went into labor and spent the entire day by myself. (Long story- but you get the picture.)

Can you relate?

So when I was told by an astrologer years and years ago, that I was so very loved and supported by the universe, I didn't even know what to do with that.

It felt TOOOO scary to trust. I mean, I wasn't willing to trust what I could see, how was I going to trust what I couldn't see!?!

That conversation happened over 20 years ago and really helped me begin to relax into the idea that life loves and supports me. And believing that has has been an ongoing journey.

Last year I decided to take it even deeper by choosing to live a guided life.

What the heck does that mean?

In some ways, it's a surrender. I ask God/Divine/Inner Self... "What would you have me do today?"

And then I wait for an answer.

Sometimes the answer is immediate. Sometimes the day becomes the answer.

Sometimes I don't want to do what it tells me AT ALL and I fight. Because, hey, I'm human, and I can.

If any of this resonates with you, and you're thinking you want to give this a try,

I've made a meme of the 3 easy steps for you.

Why not give it a try and see what happens?

I challenge you to do it just for the next week!

What do you say?

Here's to manifesting every dream you have, not only for you but for the entire world!

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What's The Word? Start Your 2020 Off Right

It’s January and everyone is scrambling to get those resolutions and promises in place.

But what if i told you there’s a really simple technique to start your year that would help you truly align with grace and ease?

Ready?

It’s super simple, really easy, and fun!

Here's the idea- choose a word, 1 word, to be like a lodestone, an organizing principal, or inquiry for your year.

It can be any word.

Sometimes the word pops right into your head as soon as you sit for a second with it. Other times, it takes a little coaxing.

I’ve been doing this to start my new year now for nearly a decade and it’s become a profound activity for me, as much as my beloved vision board.

In the past, I've chosen words like: trust, love, relax. shine and flow. Other folks I know have picked words like: faith, focus, patience... get the idea?

Once you have your word, here's what to do:

Allow this word to dance around you all year. 

Write it down in at least 1 place in your home or office, more if you can! 

Allow yourself to return to this word again and again, as you explore your inner landscape and use it whenever you plan and vision. 

My goal in using this annual word, is to have it so thoroughly penetrate me, that IT becomes the guide and the teacher, revealing the lessons it has in store for me!

Last year, my word was flow. I REALLY wanted to allow myself to relax into knowing and receive guidance. I'd spent so much of my life pushing that I wanted to try a different way. 

I CANNOT tell you how impactful that inquiry was for me. Seriously, it changed my life. I stopped really planning and instead started asking for guidance. 

For 2020, when I checked in about my word, it was WILLINGNESS. 

Sometimes I have to laugh at the perfection of it all. Because now that I am choosing to live a more guided life, I ACTUALLY have to DO what I'm being told to do! 😂 😂 😂 

Thus my word.

If the idea of ONE word feels limiting, you might want to try a yearly theme.

Or, if you like, a phrase.

Perhaps the theme for your year is to be financially independent, or more present in your everyday, or accepting of yourself and others. 

Whether it's ONE word, or a theme, I encourage you to sink into that all-knowing space within you, and ask what that is.

Write it down on post-it notes around the house or office, stick it on your vision board, make a flyer or poster. Allow your word (or theme) to be like an anchor for your year, a guide, a way to navigate 2020.

As always, let me know how it goes! 

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Deepen Into Faith

This week’s advent theme is faith.

Well, what is faith exactly?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, here are the definitions: 

1. Allegiance to duty or a person; loyalty (lost faith in someone or something)

2. Fidelity to one’s promises; sincerity of intentions (acted in good faith)

3. Belief and trust in and loyalty to God

4. Belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

5. Firm belief in something for which there is no proof

6. Complete trust

7. Something that is believed especially with strong conviction

We bat this word around – especially those of us on a spiritual path.

But what kind of faith do we want?

Blind faith or the kind that we walk into with our eyes wide open?

For me, faith (or its absence) has been a constant theme in my life since I grew up lacking basic trust. To me, faith and trust are inextricably linked.

Over and over again, as I push internal and external boundaries, I’m confronted with the same imagery, the same words. Take a leap of faith.

Every time I stand on that proverbial ledge, it feels scary and daunting as if it’s the first time. I have to remind myself, “Sister, you’ve been here before, remember?”

Those words lessen my anxiety somewhat but they don’t remove the reality that to change my life (in this way I’m being called to do) I still have to jump into the new, the unknown, the fresh challenge…

And it isn’t just me, is it?

We are all being called to take a leap of faith right now.

To trust that we can be supported and loved EVEN WHEN we follow our hearts, our soul’s calling.

If these words resonate with you, take this week and dive into faith.

Ask faith how can you deepen your relationship with it?

One of the ways I’m jumping in to faith is by focusing on my art and writing. To this end, I’m unveiling a whole new website highlighting my artwork: Shakti-S.com.

AND there’s even a store!

I’ve been making one-of-a-kind jewelry. Check it out here

And sacred prints

These are mandala designs you can use to enhance your practice and bring more power, prosperity and right action into your life. Here’s the gallery.

Everything is lovingly made by me. And comes with FREE shipping.

This is what I’m being called to do. To share a new aspect of myself with all of you. It feels kinda scary but exciting too.

Have courage to believe in faith, whatever that means to you.

(AND so you know - next week’s advent theme is JOY, and the 4th week is PEACE.)

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It's The Season for Hope

According to advent, a Christian tradition of preparation, the 1st week of December is the week of hope.

I always thought advent was about those fun children’s calendars. Remember them? The cute posters with little doors and windows that open for every day of December, and often hold little surprises behinds them.  

Apparently there’s much more to advent than candies behind closed doors.

Advent invites us to slow down and reflect. 

What a contrast to what we’re used to: crowded shops, cars filled with gifts, pressed time for decorating, awkward family conversations…

Instead (or perhaps in addition) what if we consciously chose to slow down and remember what’s really important right now?

Advent also suggests weekly themes for December too.

This first one is hope.

• What do you hope for right now?

• How is hope showing up in your life?

• Is hope trying to show you something today?

A fun activity I just recently came upon is the advent wreath. It contains specific candles, all with particular symbolism. Check it out.

Here is our invitation: spend a few minutes or the rest of the week reflecting on hope. Sound fun, yes?

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Awe for the Changing Season - 3 Ways to Celebrate

Did you enjoy the equinox?  

Good news because the fall celebrations continue!

Everywhere folks are welcoming in the harvest. In India, it’s Durga Puja, the celebration of the Mother. And in the Jewish tradition, it’s the new year and the days of atonement, otherwise known as Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

This time of year always feels like new beginnings to me. Maybe it’s the decades I spent as a student and then a teacher, but the fall is definitely a transition time.

There is a closeness to God now, and we see it actualized in many faiths. The veil is thin.

The spring and summer were all about outward expression, and now, as we have reaped the rewards from nature, it’s time to turn within.

The invitation, if we choose to connect with any of these traditions, or follow our own, is to go deep. This is a time for reflection, for taking charge of our own journey and healing process, for finding our way back to ourselves.

Here are some ideas:

1.Journal

What is asking to be birthed right now? What are you ready to release?

2. Devotion

What is your soul asking of you? Is it a silent meditation experience? A walking retreat? Some form of ritual?

3. Body as Vessel

What would it take for you to treat your body as a vessel for God? How can you spend some time right now purifying it with foods, baths, movement?

We are being asked to connect to our true selves, the God within. Whether it’s the atonement or at-one-ment (meaning being one with God) or honoring all of the faces of the Mother, we are celebrating divinity as reflected in us.

 If you want to align with powerful dates, here are a few:

• Rosh Hashanah (the beginning of the Jewish new year) 9/29 -10/1 sundown to sundown

• Yom Kippur- Oct 8-9 sundown to sundown

• Durga Puja – Sept 28- October 8

• New Moon -September 28th

• Harvest Moon - Oct 13th

Remember, there is no right or wrong way. It is simply an invitation to return to our original nature, which is being one with God.

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Fail Your Way to Success

What is it about failing that feels so hard?

Is it perfectionist syndrome?

Has our society become so risk averse we’re all afraid of looking stupid? Inadequate?

Because this fear of failure, is pervasive!

Students unwilling to raise their hands lest they appear ignorant.

Employees afraid to ask for help, concerned they’ll look incompetent.

When I find myself stymied by the fear of failure, I always go worst case scenario.

Here's what I say, "if this all goes south, what’s the worst thing that can happen?"

• I look stupid.

• People will laugh

• I’ll get vilified on social media

• I’ll lose my job

Once I walk through as many negative outcomes as I can think of, and, even if I don’t love, relish OR want any of them to happen, I move ahead.

How about you?

What would it take for you to be willing to fail?

Because failing really works.

It's a Great Teacher

Are you the kind of person who remembers that spelling word BECAUSE it’s the only one you got wrong? Yes? Then you know the power of failure.

Failure Helps Build Resilience

You know that saying, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Yeah, I never liked it either, but it sure is true!

Failure Offers Great Stories

Don’t you relate to people more when they share there WHOOPS stories than the ones where they got everything right?

Direct Correlation Between Success & Failure

I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it isn’t. When we learn from failure, it helps us narrow down, redirect and get closer to achieving.

So HOW DO WE FAIL?

I love Brene Brown’s words, "choose courage over comfort."

Rather than opting for what is familiar, stretch yourself.

Be willing - even if you're scared. Try something even if it doesn’t go as you expected.

And IF that happens, Be your biggest cheerleader!

Life is here to be experienced. And as my daughter reminded me the other day, wouldn’t you rather fail trying to reach your dreams than playing it small?

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3 Simple Ways to Release Trauma

The physical body is truly remarkable.

And the more we learn about it, the more we see how interconnected our physical body is to our emotional well being.

Thanks to neuroscience, we now know that the body stores stress, memories, and trauma.

In part because the physical body is always present!

Whether you’re watching a movie or sleeping, working on the computer or making a speech – regardless of where your attention is, your body is present in that physical space.

It’s like the silent witness.

Which is why, it’s even more important than ever to work with the body when a trauma occurs – from something small like a rejection to something big like a car accident or physical violence.

Yes, it’s vital to talk about what happened and process your thoughts and emotions. But don’t forget to also support your body in that healing work.

Because when we experience trauma, it’s common to feel completely unsafe.

Here are 3 ways to safely return to your body: 

1. Self Hug

Take your right hand and place it under your left armpit, kind of over your heart. Then take your left hand and place it on your upper right shoulder. Take a few deep breaths as you gently hold yourself.

As somatic therapist, Peter Levine notes, this technique helps you to become more aware of your body as a container. It also helps release tension.

2. Grounding

Place your right hand on your forehead. Place your left hand over your heart chakra in the center of your chest. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths until you feel a shift in energy and physical sensation. Then take your right hand and move it to the center of your belly, over your belly button. Breathe in again with eyes closed until feel a shift. This will help you ground back into your body and have more clarity and less anxiety.

3. Tap/Squeeze

Gently tap or squeeze your arms, and legs. This is another exercise that helps you return into your physical body and feel the stress/tension contract.

Whenever you feel trauma or even anxiety, try one or all 3 of these exercises and see if by reconnecting to your body you can release tension and feel more relaxed in this sacred vessel that is your physical body.

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What Feeds You?

The other day I was talking to a young woman who’s been living in the city for a while. On a work trip recently she visited a sleepy town surrounded by national forest. While there, she realized the city was no longer feeding her.

More and more I hear that. And it echoes my own experiences.

I crave nature- trees, water, silence. 

How about you?

When life pulls at you, demanding your time and energy, it’s SO easy to feel depleted. 

Then what do you do? Sleep for a week? Binge watch Netflix?

Instead, think about what feeds you?

For some of us, it’s creativity. And choosing art activities. For my father, it was opera! Sometimes he'd call me after a performance and he was so blissed out, he often sounded high.

For some, it’s movement.  Think dancing, surfing, sailing, horseback riding...

For others, stillness.  

What is it for you?

If you’re not sure, try a bunch of different activities – nature hikes, visiting a garden, dancing or doing yoga, making something with your hands, going to a play or musical, even the ballet, a boat ride...

After each activity, check in with yourself.

How do you feel? Energized or depleted?

Grade each one so you know how that experience was for you.

Once you’ve taken inventory, see how you can regularly schedule the UPLIFTING activities into your life.

This is it- your one extraordinary life. If you don’t celebrate it, cherish it and feed your soul now, when will you?

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What's In Your God Box?

I recently learned a new spiritual tool!

It’s called a God box.

Do you have one?

If you’re like me and JUST heard about this, you’re in for a treat!

A God Box can be anything – a container you already have, a mason jar or a cardboard box you want to collage.

I’m always about collaging, but when I thought about what to use, I instantly knew.

Here is a picture of mine

For Christmas, my cousin sent me a package full of assorted things, and one of them was a little wooden bowl with a lid. I didn’t really need it, but because she’d sent it to me, I put it on my desk. It is now my God box.

So take a minute and scrounge around. Do you have an unused container lying about? If not, maybe save the next cardboard box you get and decorate it.

Once you’ve got a receptacle, write away.

Here’s the idea. Put anything and everything that feels challenging, hard, unsolvable, worrying, or uncertain into it.

Just grab a scrap of paper.

Write it down.

Here are a few examples: climate change, test in statistics, getting new clients, making my monthly quota, mom's health…

OR

You can write it as a sentence, “Dear God, please help me with __________. Love, _____”

Don’t like the word God? Change it both for your box AND missives.

Use whatever word speaks to you -Goddess, Light, Love, One...

“Dear Love, I need support with _________.”

Get the idea?

Great!

But what happens when the box gets full?

• Some people store the boxes and make new ones.

• Some people have a ceremony and burn the paper prayers.

• Some people put the paper scraps in the compost.

It’s entirely up to you and what feels right.

It’s your practice to tailor to your needs.

Put everything that is vexing you in there!

Heck, why not!?!

Let me know what yours looks like! Feel free to paste a photo BELOW!

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Your Secret to Greater Happiness

I was recently asked to do a Daily Insight for the meditation app InsightTimer and the topic I chose was inner joy.

Joy, or happiness is what we all want, right? And yet is can feel SO elusive.

If you’re ready to access that loving, happy place, here are 3 ways you can experience it more right now.

1. Happiness is here because you are here

Teacher, Dr. Robert Holden reminds us that happiness is actually our original nature. Underneath fret, worry, neurosis and a chattering mind, it patiently waits for us.

I like to think about it as a frequency, like a radio station. Am I tuning into the news, the weather, golden oldies or the joy station?

Why not retune your internal dial right now? Close your eyes, take a breath into the center of your heart and see if you can feel that deep, abiding happiness. it's there for you, I promise.

Shortly after recording my meditations on joy, I watched Brené Brown's Netflix special. In it she mentioned that JOY was one of the most vulnerable emotions to experience. I was shocked! She went on to share that from her research, she noted that the folks who most are able to maintain a state of joy, practice...

2. Gratitude

So, here's an idea. Instead of worrying for the next proverbial shoe to drop or something bad to happen in the future, take a moment and express gratitude for what you have in this moment, right now.

If you've never had a gratitude practice before OR yours has lapsed, a super simple way to return to one is to name 5 things RIGHT NOW that you are grateful for. (For me - it's my family, my home, my health, husband and friends.)

Brené says, it's these folks, the ones who have a gratitude practice, that are the most joyful.

3. Who was your first happiness teacher?

I once was asked to do a happiness journey - past, present and future. When I went into the past and asked, who first taught me about joy? I instantly saw my Nana, my father's mother. She was a spunky, no-nonsense matriarch who deeply loved me AND played games with me whenever I asked. She laughed all day long, always smiled and was happy, even into her late 70s, to sit on the kitchen floor and play jacks with me. 

Have a think.

Who was your first happiness role model?

How can you emulate them more? Any ideas?

For me, simply knowing that true happiness is here is a balm. And a great reminder that there's nothing you need to do, there's no where you need to visit. It's here, always. We get to decide if we allow ourselves to be. 

So try all of these and see how happiness flows into your life. Let me know how it goes.

And stay in touch!

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Harness Your Power

The other day I got asked a question by a client about POWER.

As a woman, I'm acutely aware of when I have agency and when I feel powerless, know what I mean?

As we talked, I was reminded of a way of thinking about power that I learned from a book called Spiral Dance, by Starhawk that I read in the 1980s. (A kind of new age book before we even had that term, lol!)

As I remember it, she explained that there are 2 types of power:

Power Over & Power From Within

What we experience A LOT in our world is people exerting their power OVER others- to get what they want, to control people, to exert will...

But true power isn't about that at all.

True power is about being EMBODIED.

You know the difference, you can feel it.

So how do we awaken and harness our own internal power?

Here are 3 ways you can align with your inner power right now:

Speak Your Truth

As women this seems extra hard. We're constantly wanting to add filters around not wanting to hurt people's feelings. But the kindest thing we can do is speak truth from our hearts.

One easy way to do this is to think about the person with whom you want to speak as a loved one, a cherished soul. 

Take Action

What is it that your heart is yearning for you to do? What step can you take to be in alignment with that? 

If you really listen to that voice within, it will tell you. 

The best part about this is that you don’t have to know how to do everything, you just have to be willing to take the next step.

Create Clear Boundaries

If you only do one of these three, here's the one.

Boundaries are fences. They're clear delineators of space. We need these as much in relationships as we do for property. 

So what fences do you need to put around you? 

Setting boundaries is an act of love - of self love and of loving another. 

If you've grown up in a family that didn't have any boundaries or had super unhealthy ones, setting clear boundaries can feel elusive. It can also feel like you're being mean or limiting. But you're not. Boundaries are as helpful to you as they are to others.

When my youngest daughter was a toddler, she was pretty wild and I struggled with getting her to channel her energy positively. I'd be patient, patient, patient and then erupt in anger that made me feel horrible (and like a really bad mom). Then I was counseled about setting clear, firm boundaries with her. At first, she bristled, feeling confined. But soon she settled down because the boundaries helped her feel safe.

It was the best thing I did for her and for me. Because then it was so clear what was expected of both of us.

Incorporate these into harnessing your power and see how life unfolds.

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