Afraid of what's to come?
You aren't alone.
The other day, I was talking with a 20 year-old who's moving to Nepal for 6-months. She’ll live with a family, learn the language, and be fairly isolated (as most host families don’t have internet.)
“Sounds like when I lived overseas!" I replied, laughing. "Those were the days of snail mail and expensive phone calls.”
But I also knew her fear – the fear of going someplace completely foreign, being thousands of miles away from friends and family- being alone.
She admitted that when she’d first learned about the trip something inside of her urged her on. The more she learned, the more she wanted to do it, until she was actually facing getting on the airplane.
Has that ever happened to you?
Your soul, intuition, inner guidance knows exactly what you need but then another part of you – your ego, learned self…- gets afraid?
As the Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron reminds us “fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to truth.”
So when you feel that inner battle about doing what’s right, here are 3 ways to help:
1. Acknowledge Your Mixed Feelings
When we allow ourselves to honor the inner conflict, we create room for possibility.
It’s okay to have mixed emotions about something, even something you’re SUPER excited about!
With every growth opportunity, comes a death, a death of an old way of thinking or being.
When I was a junior in college, I was doing way too many drugs and had fallen into a co-dependent relationship. One day, I heard a voice tell me that I was killing myself with drugs. I knew it was true and I had to stop. Next thing I knew the voice was also reminding me that I’d lost a sense of myself that I needed to reclaim.
I decided to study in Italy for the semester.
My inner knowing knew exactly what I needed but absolutely NO part of me wanted to go. In fact, I cried on the flight to Rome.
BUT being away gave me exactly what I needed, the time and space to live cleanly and come back to myself.
2. Do It Anyway
Just because you’re of two minds about something doesn’t mean you should hold back.
You’re being called to move, to take action, to be brave. So go for it. As a coaching friend of mine likes to say, “just f*cking do it!”
We never lose when we try to expand who we are as human beings. It doesn’t mean it’s always easy, but it’s most always worth it.
3. Stay Open Minded
One common way to manage anxiety is to decide in advance what might happen. But how do you really know?
Instead of allowing fear to sabotage your plans by naming all the things that could go wrong, think about the vast world of possibility.
It’s often the case that we don’t know what we don’t know.
Haven’t you ever looked back at something with absolute awe, almost in disbelief because you never could have imagined that particular outcome?
This is exactly what I’m getting at – sometimes from the present vantage point, we can’t even fathom the end result because it isn’t even in the radar at all.
Instead, allow yourself to stay open and know that only good will come.
So whether you’re about to embark on a new job, trip or relationship, I invite you to honor everything you feel, stay open and go for it!
Life is an exciting adventure – isn’t it? Enjoy this day and all its special gifts.