Last week my 14-year old was being just that, a 14-year old. When I’d ask a question, I’d get a grunt or if I was lucky a one word answer. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t about me but as the days wore on and the behavior stayed the same I watched my tolerance expire.
Ram Dass says, “if you think you’re enlightened go live with your family for a week.” Most days I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learned from my loved ones. But some days, I’d rather be left alone.
Recently I had an opportunity to examine my own judgment from a situation that occurred. In my opinion, one of my family members, let’s call him Dave, had intentionally hurt another human being. I was deeply bothered by this.
The act seemed selfish and irrational and I was having a really hard time getting beyond it.
The phrase that kept repeating in my mind was, “ you can’t just kick people to the curb.”
A few months ago, right around the New Year, I wrote about Robert Holden's idea of choosing one word to be your guide for the year. A word that you could contemplate, evaluate and ideally embrace this year, 2014.
My word is trust.
Four months into my exploration with this word, I have come to see its many manifestations in my life.
For one, I will confess to not being terribly trusting - of myself, of others, of the future. All of this lack of trust is from my past, from not feeling supported or nurtured, and from thinking the world is an unsafe place. I have worked on this for a decade but am determined to shed my lack of trust this year. And this resolution has gotten me thinking about all the ways it manifests in my life.