What’s Motivating You?

It’s still January and not too late to start those resolutions. So…

How do I get motivated?

Motivation or why we do things is super interesting to me.

I’ve spent a lot of time and energy researching it because I’ve wanted to inspire and motivate – in the classroom, with my clients and with myself.

Recently I was watching Tony Robbins do a Ted Talk. In it, he identified 6 key factors that motivate human behavior.

They are: certainty, uncertainty (or variety), significance, love/connection, growth and contribution.

His 6 characteristics allow us to dig a little deeper into motivation and get into the why behind it.

If we can identify the why, we can better understand our needs, our thoughts, emotions and ultimately our behavior.

So, let’s walk through these.

Certainty

People who are motivated by certainty crave safety and security. They prefer routine and want life to be predictable and ordered. They’re uncomfortable with change or stretching out of their comfort zones. Is that you?

Uncertainty/Variety

Those who like uncertainty or variety need change, and stimulation. They are easily bored, crave new-ness, and adventure. If you are one of these people, it’s hard to sit at a desk all day doing the same thing. Perhaps these folks find work as tour operators, are self-employed or are entrepreneurs specializing in startups.

Significance

For those seeking significance, they strive to be accomplished, knowledgeable, and worthy of respect. Many people crave to feel important, or relevant and play it out in a myriad of ways. They become an expert in a field, enjoy being the life of the party or crave to be in charge – the boss.

Love/Connection

Love and connection satisfy the need for belonging.  As humans, we all want to be loved and feel connected to others. If love and connection are your primary motivators, you seek out a partner, friendships, to be part of a community- at work, socially or perhaps in a church or temple setting.

Both growth and contribution are ways that we self-actualize.

Tony Robbins says that the previous four (certainty, uncertainty, significance and love/connection) are all on the level of personality. Where as these two, growth and contribution, are on the level of the soul.

Growth

Each of us craves growth. It's the natural order of life to grow, learn and evolve. If you’re primarily motivated by growth think of what you fill your life with – books, online courses, goal setting, seeking out teachers and mentors. Perhaps even travel.

Contribution

Lastly, contribution is the ultimate aspect of self-actualization. Stepping out of ourselves and helping others is the most rewarding endeavor. Taking care of another human being, fills us with happiness, peace and love. Recognizing that there is more to do than taking care of me helps me remember that, in truth, we are all one. I can help others and make the world a better place – for that person and for myself.

When we explore why we do things, why we make certain decisions, we can trace them back to our motivation. It’s as if our motivation is calling the shots – giving us the feelings and the words to take action.

Am I calling this person because I want to feel significant or am I doing it because I want to be connected? Maybe I’m trying to contribute?

Am I moving back in with my parents because I need to feel secure or is it so I can grow by going back to school?

When we uncover what those underlying motivations are, it can help us more easily accomplish our goals and objectives.

Sometimes we don’t want to do things and the best way to get unstuck is to understand what’s behind it, what’s motivating you.

So here’s an example. When I found myself at 22 living in Hong Kong, working at a job where I felt neither significant nor connected, but had a constant routine that made me feel like a slave to my desk, I realized I had to make a change. And the things that stood out to me at that time were:

1.     Variety

I needed a job where I didn’t have to do the same thing all day long. I needed to move around and do different tasks.

2.     Connection

There I was living in a foreign country and I knew next to nothing about Chinese culture and had hardly any friends. I yearned to feel plugged in.

3.     Contribution

I wanted to make a difference. To have a job that could help others.

So, what happened?

I became a teacher and it met all of those requirements!

In delving in to our motivations, we can better understand ourselves and move in the directions that feel most fulfilling and rewarding to us. Give it a try!

What’s motivating you?

Let me know by leaving me a comment below.

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Nail Your New Year’s Resolutions In 4 Easy Steps

On some level, I think all of us dread one thing about the New Year… resolutions. What we think are lofty or even good for us can soon feel obligatory and for some, even oppressive.

This is why I’ve taken a new attitude on the resolution. We all know that after a few glasses of champagne on December 31st, it’s easy to make loads of promises we may or may not keep, right? So here’s my idea:

Turn those resolutions into goals and create action steps using this 4-Step Process.

Step 1.    Choose a few resolutions/goals that you really want.

I’ll use an example that many Americans decided on New Year’s Eve - to lose weight.

The first thing I’m going to do, though, is qualify it. What does lose weight mean to me? Do I want to lose 10 pounds or 100 pounds?

Look at your resolution. If it’s too general, make it more specific. I’m going to turn – to lose weight – into:

My Resolution/Goal is: To lose 20 pounds

Step 2.    Why did you choose this resolution/goal? Examine your motivation, reason or rationale.

For Step 2, I need to decide on my why. Why weight? Why 20 pounds?

Ask yourself why you want to make this change in your life. The truth is that if we don’t have a good reason, we aren’t going to do it. So dig in, find out what your motivation is!

My answer is because I feel unhealthy.
I can’t fit into my clothes and I’m tired all the time.
I want to both feel good and look good!

Step 3.     Implementation – Now that you’re clear about the what (resolution/goal) and the why, the next piece to answer is the how.

a.     How are you going to achieve this goal?

b.     What specific actions will you take?

c.      Do you need to enlist anyone’s help?

Step 3 is critical because this is what needs to occur in order for you to get results. These are the actual steps you will want to take in order to achieve the goal. So in my example, I have to figure out what I’m going to do to really lose 20 pounds. Here are some of my ideas:

Stop drinking sugar drinks (like soda)

Cut out junk food – no fast food, chips or donuts

Walk after dinner with my partner (here I’m enlisting help)

Drink more water

Step 4.     Create a timeline – Chunk out your action steps and put dates to them.

The last step is putting it all in motion because it won’t get done if we don’t plan and make time for it, right? Think about your entire year and the benchmarks you want to see over that time. It can be monthly or quarterly. Then think about each and every week, every day and what’s going to happen.

For my resolution, I have a year to lose 20 pounds and I want to do it slowly so I will keep it off.

For Step 4, I have to put my ideas from Step 3 into a timeline.

Weekly:

Starting today, I will stop drinking soda but allow myself one a week.

I will pack lunch instead of buying it except on Fridays when I'll treat myself to lunch out (but not fast food)

Walk after dinner at least 3 times a week – on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays

Everyday, I will drink 8 glasses of water

This week I will buy a water bottle I love and carry it everywhere 

Over the Year (Quarterly):

By March 1, I will have lost 5 pounds or I'll start walking 5 times a week

By June 1, I will have lost 10 pounds or I'll stop drinking soda altogether

By September 1, I will have lost 15 pounds or I'll pack my lunch everyday

After school or work today, sit down with those resolutions. Choose the ones that really matter and then walk them through this 4-Step process. What can you start doing this week to make your life better? Change is doable but we need a plan and a timeline. Once you design action steps that work for you, you’ll be amazed at the results! So, grab a paper and pen or sit down in front of your iPad and have fun!

Let me know how it goes. Leave me a comment below.

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