Do you want to keep living the life you’ve always led or are you ready to shift into a new way and a new life?
Choosing to live your life’s purpose, requires you to undo much of what you’ve been taught. After all, you want to create a future different from the past.
So how do you do that?
As A Course In Miracles tells us, forgiveness is our only true function. Forgiveness, however, is one of those things that sounds easy but can actually be hard.
A strategy that’s really helped me with this, is the recognition that the person I want to forgive - a former boss, parent, acquaintance - was actually doing his or her best in that moment.
Here’s an example.
My father was completely emotionally absent during my childhood. There were times when I hated him for that, for not paying attention, not seeming to care, not showing me that he loved me in a way I could understand (hugs, praise.)
In my early 20s, I decided I wanted to shift our relationship, from a child / adult one to an adult / adult one. But I quickly discovered that in order to do this, I had to accept him just as he was, imperfect, critical and sometimes really annoying.
As I let go of my disappointment that he wasn’t who I needed or wanted him to be, (a caring, positive presence in my life), I began to see that even if he’d wanted to, he just couldn’t. He wasn’t capable of it. He’d been so wounded by his family that he simply couldn’t show up any other way.
And then I saw that he was trying his best.
It may have been limited but it wasn’t personal or intentional. It was all he could do. At that moment, my heart opened for him and I was filled with compassion. Interestingly, once I completely accepted him, he was actually able to be there for me!
Who in your life are you ready to release?
Can you see him or her as having tried their best?
2. Limiting Beliefs
Bad things happened in your past and you suffered. People put you down, maybe you decided you were flawed, or couldn’t be successful.
Isn’t it time to shed all that old stuff?
What do you want to believe is true for you now?
Doesn’t it feel better to believe that you deserve happiness, success and love? It’s time for you to know that it’s true and own it!
3. Write a New Story
Just because something bad happened in your past, it doesn’t have to define you. We get to define ourselves.
Who do you want to be?
Do you want to be the daughter of an alcoholic who can’t get it together and continues to blame her terrible life on her mother? Or do you want to transcend your past by owning it, learning from it and moving beyond it?
Maybe you still are the daughter of an alcoholic. And? You are reliable, independent, hard working, successful, loving and perfect. Now you get to model healthy behavior for your family.
We are all co-creating our futures.
Why not make it exactly what you want? All it takes is awareness and the willingness to release the past so it no longer has a hold over you. Remember, you can change the future and it starts right now!