How to Use the Centering Prayer Throughout Your Day

Last blog I shared a meditation/prayer practice with you called the centering prayer. If you missed it, here’s a link to the post.

As a quick review, here’s the basic idea:

1. Choose a word (or phrase) to focus on during your meditation.

2. Ensure that you’re sitting comfortably with your eyes closed.

Begin repeating the word or phrase silently to yourself over and over again slowly. Deepen into the phrase, slowly and intentionally, giving your thought-mind something to focus on. If your phrase is: “I rest in God,” begin by saying that phrase. Eventually it may become “I rest,” or “God” that gets repeated as you slow down and deepen into the words.

3. Whenever you get distracted by another thought or body sensation, simply return to your word or phrase.

How do you then extend this practice to your day!?

It’s easy!

• You’re gardening. Allow your mind to tune into your word or phrase. Repeat it over and over to yourself silently or aloud.

• You’re driving. Same thing. Bring your thoughts back to your word or phrase. Keep repeating it. If you get sidetracked, simply come back.

• You’re upset after reading an article about _____ (fill in the blank). Invite your word or phrase to come into your awareness. Continue to repeat it. Notice if your nervous system calms down.

And on and on, throughout your day.

The centering prayer is a wonderful example of a powerful tool that you can apply both -into your regular meditation practice AND in your everyday, going about town life.

Pick a phrase and give it a try!

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Live a Passion Filled Life In 3 Simple Steps

Have you ever met someone and been truly inspired?

That happened to me with my first yoga teacher, Jayanta. His classes immersed us in bhakti or devotion. With every pose that we did, it wasn't about sweating or getting a work out, it was prayer in motion.

It was an act of connecting to the divine and expressing that love through movement.

Recently we reconnected and it inspired me to remember to infuse life with love and embrace prayer in action.

Because everything we do – from brushing our teeth, to mowing the lawn, to making a phone call - is an opportunity to share the love of God and to celebrate being alive.

Each person is an incarnation of the beloved. God is in all of us, shining forth. So as you go about your day, see if you can embrace this essence of prayer-filled living.

It’s simple and requires only 3 things:

1. Awareness

Awareness is the choice to be present in all things.

I once had a friend who told me to be proud of whatever job you have, do it with gusto and put in 100% effort. He said, “even if I was a garbage man, I’d do it to the best of my ability.”

I’ve never forgotten his words. He was suggesting to be fully present and aware in everything you do. Do it with pride, care and diligence.

When you choose this attitude, you feel alive, capable, satisfied and attuned to life in a deep and fulfilling way.

2. Practice Gratitude

When I have thanks in the moment for my life, my entire chest expands. I feel spacious, full, rich, content.

Try it right now.

Look around you and think of 3 things you’re grateful for in your life. Inhale that feeling. Don’t you feel bigger and more expansive?

All the research tells us that gratitude is THE fastest way to experience happiness. Gratitude is also an excellent way to feel alive, present and to view the world through the eyes of love.

A wonderful short video to help you experience gratitude was done by Louie Shwartzberg. He uses his exquisite time-lapse nature photography while you listen to Brother David Steindl-Rast , a Benedictine monk, describe exactly what gratitude is. This film is one of my most favorite TedTalks. Check it out here

3. Foster Empathy

Empathy is compassion, or caring about others because you have either experienced a similar pain or can put yourself in that person’s shoes.

An excellent example of empathy at work is Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12-step program. People who are active alcoholics go there for help and support. They are not judged – often for the first times in their lives. Instead, they are embraced and supported by other recovering addicts who know exactly what it feels like to walk into that room, wanting to stop but are scared to death.

We know from studies that it is low and medium income people who are often the most generous donors to charities which may be surprising when you think their incomes aren’t as high as say, a hedge fund manager.

Yet, there have been times in my life when I was one pay check away from homelessness. We can relate, we have empathy.

Infuse this day and every day with the power of love. Allow grace to wash over you and through you as you meet this moment with compassion, awareness, and gratitude.

Life feels so much more fulfilling, rich and satisfying when we choose to see everything as love, as God, as one.

See if you can be the beloved and infuse your life with that love.

Let me know what YOU think! leave a comment below.

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3 Simple Tools for Creating A Future YOU Want

Do you want to keep living the life you’ve always led or are you ready to shift into a new way and a new life?

Choosing to live your life’s purpose, requires you to undo much of what you’ve been taught. After all, you want to create a future different from the past.

So how do you do that?

1.  Forgiveness

 As A Course In Miracles tells us, forgiveness is our only true function. Forgiveness, however, is one of those things that sounds easy but can actually be hard.

A strategy that’s really helped me with this, is the recognition that the person I want to forgive - a former boss, parent, acquaintance - was actually doing his or her best in that moment.

Here’s an example.

My father was completely emotionally absent during my childhood. There were times when I hated him for that, for not paying attention, not seeming to care, not showing me that he loved me in a way I could understand (hugs, praise.)

In my early 20s, I decided I wanted to shift our relationship, from a child / adult one to an adult / adult one. But I quickly discovered that in order to do this, I had to accept him just as he was, imperfect, critical and sometimes really annoying.

As I let go of my disappointment that he wasn’t who I needed or wanted him to be, (a caring, positive presence in my life), I began to see that even if he’d wanted to, he just couldn’t. He wasn’t capable of it. He’d been so wounded by his family that he simply couldn’t show up any other way.

And then I saw that he was trying his best.

It may have been limited but it wasn’t personal or intentional. It was all he could do. At that moment, my heart opened for him and I was filled with compassion. Interestingly, once I completely accepted him, he was actually able to be there for me!

Who in your life are you ready to release?

Can you see him or her as having tried their best?

2. Limiting Beliefs

Bad things happened in your past and you suffered. People put you down, maybe you decided you were flawed, or couldn’t be successful.

Isn’t it time to shed all that old stuff?

What do you want to believe is true for you now?

Doesn’t it feel better to believe that you deserve happiness, success and love? It’s time for you to know that it’s true and own it!

3. Write a New Story

Just because something bad happened in your past, it doesn’t have to define you. We get to define ourselves.

Who do you want to be?

Do you want to be the daughter of an alcoholic who can’t get it together and continues to blame her terrible life on her mother? Or do you want to transcend your past by owning it, learning from it and moving beyond it?

Maybe you still are the daughter of an alcoholic. And? You are reliable, independent, hard working, successful, loving and perfect. Now you get to model healthy behavior for your family.

We are all co-creating our futures.

Why not make it exactly what you want? All it takes is awareness and the willingness to release the past so it no longer has a hold over you. Remember, you can change the future and it starts right now!

Share ONE thing you're ready to let go of today!

Write it below.

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Being 100% Responsible

When I was a girl, I couldn’t wait to grow up. At ten, I fantasized about having my own apartment in New York City and running a chic restaurant.

I yearned to be an adult because I wanted to be in charge. I hated feeling like I had no control over my life – of where I lived, went to school, what I ate.

All too quickly, my wish was granted and I was a young, clueless adult overwhelmed by the world. It was easy to feel oppressed. I couldn’t get a good job because the market was tight and there was too much competition. Poor me, no one could see the value that I offered.

I fell into feeling like a victim.

Life was too hard. I was misunderstood. I couldn’t stop eating the plate of cookies, the bag of chips, but it wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t help myself.

Slowly, as I began making my way in the world, I saw how I was giving my power away by being a victim. Maybe it was true that I couldn’t control the weather or the attitude of my boss or co-workers, but I could control my response to them.

What if I stood up to my colleague and told her that I didn’t’ appreciate her lack of professionalism?

What if I really looked at how I avoided going to the gym, making excuses every night to watch TV on the couch?

In my journey to self awareness, I’ve realized that I must take 100% responsibility for my life, for everything in my life.

• My Finances
• My Health
• My Relationships
• My Career

When you do this, you officially become a grown up.

Responsibility is about ownership, about acknowledging when things work and when they don’t work. It’s the difference between saying the company almost went under because I didn’t manage the financials instead of blaming the near bankruptcy on the economic downturn.

It is the acknowledgment that I am in charge – always. Even when I choose to watch a movie instead of run errands.

If you’re ready to take 100% responsibility in your life, here are 3 questions to ask:

1.  Are you willing to own whatever happens in your life?

Yes, that means the buck stops with you. No excuses.

2.  Can you discern between what you do and don’t have control over?

In other words, you only have control over you, and how you respond to life’s challenges and opportunities. You do not have any control over what other people say or do.

3. Ready to accept yourself?

Are you ready to be okay when you screw up and when you succeed? We're often our own worst critics, hard on ourselves when we fail and unwilling to savor when we succeed.

Can you be gentle and loving with you – knowing that everyone makes mistakes from time to time?

Taking responsibility for your life will transform it!

Here's why you'll want to:

• Feel Empowered

When you decide to take charge, YOU have the power. You're no longer a victim. You haven’t given it away to anyone or anything. Take charge of your life and create all that you most deeply desire.

• Not Beholden to Anyone or Anything

When you decide that YOU own your life, no one or thing has any power over you.

• Set Yourself Free

Taking 100% responsibility is the path of spiritual growth, of total freedom.

When have you felt like a victim or decided to take responsibility?

Share one of your stories with us below.

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Living Stress Free: 7 Habits for a Life Filled with Peace & Joy

Feeling stressed?

You’re not alone!

Most everyone struggles with managing life in this highly connected, 24/7 world. And, if you’re anything like me, you may have never learned healthy coping skills for stress.

Over the years, I’ve learned to incorporate these seven habits. Since then, my life works better, I’m less crazed and more productive.

So instead of coming home and drinking a 6-pack of beer, or vegging out in front of the TV, consider incorporating some of these into your life.

1.     Breathing

My #1 rule to live by is breathing.

Of course you breathe all the time (or you’d be dead!) But when you can focus on your breath – and take a few nice, deep breaths, it will instantly transform your moment. Suddenly you’ll feel more expansive. Breathing with awareness slows down the whirling thoughts and offers room for clarity.

Breathing always comes before I make any shifts or changes.

I stop, breathe and then take action.

2.     Visualize It

I believe that the Universe is always supporting us and providing us with what we need. Unfortunately, we’re often unclear about what we DO want or are accidentally giving the Universe messages of things we don’t want.

We constantly telegraph our desires – consciously and unconsciously- to the Universe with our thoughts, intentions, imagery and words.

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, pause for a moment and visualize the outcome you actually want.

• Is it to have plenty of time to get your tasks done?
• Maybe there’s a grievance that needs to be resolved easily and effortlessly – picture that.
• Perhaps you want a specific outcome. Instead of thinking about what you don’t want to happen, try seeing what you do want – as if it’s already done.

3.     Be a Thought Gardener

We’re always thinking.

Unfortunately so many of those thoughts are negative or are unconscious. Things such as:

• “I should have remembered to…”
• “Wow, my hair looks terrible today.”
• “I messed up that one part of my presentation…”

Make the decision to have kind and positive thoughts – about yourself, your work and home life.

A simple way to incorporate this is to utilize affirmations.

• I easily and effortlessly get the job done.
• I am beautiful today.
• I am smart and conscientious.

Positive thoughts are uplifting and help us be more productive and feel less stressed.

4.     Have Healthy Boundaries

It can be hard to say NO but this is a really important step in order to take care of yourself.

The ability to say NO is directly related to boundaries.

Are you okay with taking on this project or do you already have too much to do?
Do you need more help at home because suddenly all the chores have fallen into your lap?

Another way to explore boundaries is to identify people and situations that are stress triggers.

As much as possible, eliminate these. If you can’t, see if maybe you can adjust how you show up.

For example, if watching the news before bed makes you anxious and then it’s hard to fall asleep, watch something else, read, play a game or do some deep breathing.

Is there a particular person who makes your blood pressure spike? Can you avoid seeing her? If not, how can you limit your exposure?

5.     Meditation – Start a Daily Practice 

This can be as simple as 5 minutes in the morning. Meditating first thing will set your day and infuse you with energy, clarity and peace.

There are now apps designed to help you start a practice. They offer guidance, music, timers and reminders for you to come back to your practice. Some are free and some are not. For a list of 17, click here.

6.     Schedule FUN

This should probably be #1! As adults, it’s so easy to fall into the serious trap. Life is all about business, things are important and weighty but it’s crucial for our mental health, youthfulness and creativity to incorporate fun into our schedules.

Fun is rejuvenating and actually feeds us.

After an afternoon at the beach or a night at the comedy club, you’ll be surprised at how much easier it is to work. We have to give ourselves fun time – all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (not to mention grouchy and uptight!)

What does fun look like to you?

7.     Self Care

For many of us this can be hard – especially if we’re programmed as givers or care takers. We can falsely interpret this as selfish but here’s the thing; 

You can’t give to others (pour from the pitcher) if there isn’t anything to give.

We have to replenish the pitcher in order to give!

What does self care look like to you? Is it curling up with a good book? Getting a massage? Treating yourself to takeout or a movie night?

Make a list of things that feel good to you, are relaxing and rejuvenating.

Try incorporating these 7 habits and bring more peace and joy into your life. We can use the tasks and work in our lives to propel us ahead and inspire us or it can overwhelm us and stress us out.

By incorporating these ideas, see if life suddenly feels easier and a bit more enjoyable!

Let me know how it goes!

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Are You Off Course? 3 Easy Ways To Get Back On Track

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re cruising along in your life. Business is good, your days feel successful and fulfilling. You’re physically strong, energized and healthy. You’re accomplishing a lot. In fact, getting stuff done is almost effortless! The relationships in your life are solid and secure. Life feels joyous. You’re happy and in the flow.

Then, all of a sudden, something happens and kapow! Everything comes to a screeching halt.

Maybe you get physically sick and can’t get out of bed for two weeks. Perhaps you lose a major client and it sends you into a tailspin. But suddenly, you’re out of the flow. Now life feels hard.

Where did that energy, that desire, the mojo go?

In the vantage point of this new lackluster place, your old “productive” self feels like a dream.

If this sounds familiar, it’s because we can ALL relate. One of these scenarios occurs on and off throughout our lives in both small and huge ways. Maybe it’s a day of feeling off your game, maybe it’s six months.

I used to think, “when this issue is gone, it’ll be smooth sailing from here on out.” But then one day I realized, No. Life is always providing challenges for us to overcome and some of those are curveballs.

The question is, how do we get back into the game?

Here are 3 Ways that have really helped me get out of the funk and back into the flow.

1.     Stop Judging

Part of what happens when I slip out of my groove is that I judge myself. Suddenly I feel less productive, less energetic, and a lot more apathetic.

When I judge that place, and make it wrong, it becomes much harder to move through it. However, if I can accept and acknowledge what it is - just a moment rather than a weakness – I am more easily able to step out of it.

2.     Ease Back In

Think about yourself like a car – very few can go from 0 – 60 mph instantaneously. We have to regain that speed over time. Ask yourself, what’s the first thing I can do to resume my regular schedule?

If you usually run two miles a day, can you start with one mile or perhaps even a half a mile?

If you normally make 20 calls a day, how about starting with 5 or maybe even 10?

3.     Recognize It For What It Is – Temporary 

What we’re experiencing is simply a reset. All of us want to be going strong 24/7 but the reality is we cannot. Sometimes we need breaks.

Ask yourself : What does self-care look like to me?

Is it a calm walk, a relaxing bath, a quiet chat, uplifting music?

Incorporate self-care and ways to relax into your regular life. By scheduling these, you’ll likely be able to maintain your groove longer and more easily without getting blindsided.

But even when you do need a timeout – remember that it’s temporary and necessary.

Life is full of ups and downs.

It’s just that most of us like the ups more than the downs. But when we remember that it’s all part of the journey, we can accept those down times and embrace them for what they are – a reminder to go slower, a reset or time to stop and think.

When you find yourself in a down place, be gentle, remember it's only temporary and see if incorporating more self-care will enable you to move through it a bit more quickly.  

How can YOU incorporate more self-care into your life? 

What's the ONE thing you could do right now? 

Tell me by leaving me a comment below! I'm always looking for new ways to enjoy life.

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