The Hazards of Busy & 4 Ways to Remedy it
I love being an American but one thing that’s been vexing me lately is how work and career have taken over our lives. It’s as if we are no longer human beings but human doers. The overriding message is that when I’m not “doing”, I’m nothing.
In essence, we’ve allowed work and success to define who we are.
I love being an American but one thing that’s been vexing me lately is how work and career have taken over our lives. It’s as if we are no longer human beings but human doers. The overriding message is that when I’m not “doing”, I’m nothing.
In essence, we’ve allowed work and success to define who we are.
It's even worse nowadays because work has become chronic overwork. In the last few weeks, I’ve read three articles about people cracking because work essentially overtook their lives.
One was continually being hospitalized for having seizures. Another, a young man just beginning his career in finance, couldn’t take the pressure and jumped off a building. A third up and quit her job and moved to Europe.
The expectation to overwork is even being written into contracts. The assumption being that you’ll be available to answer emails late into the night, work weekends and even be reachable for holidays.
How is this okay?
What can you do instead?
We need to create healthy boundaries in order to have a more balanced life. Here are four easy ways to begin doing that.
1. Take Care of You First
Many of us, because we are so busy working or taking care of others, have forgotten or simply don’t know what this means.
But the truth is that we are not just automatons trudging to do a job. We have a physical body that needs care, exercise and healthy food, an emotional body that needs camaraderie, attention and love, an intellect that craves stimulation and a soul that yearns for peace and stillness.
Cheryl Richardson’s book The Art of Extreme Self Care is a great tool to use to delve into this idea more deeply.
But you can also start by making a list of things you love to do and then begin scheduling them into your life.
Maybe it’s signing up for that yoga class you’ve been “meaning” to do for months, or taking a nice hot bath after a long day. Perhaps it’s scheduling a massage or a pedicure.
How can you make time for you?
2. Check Back In With Your Dreams
Where are they and where are you? Are you moving towards your dreams or have you gone far afield?
Think for a moment about your work environment. Is it feeding those dreams and inspiring you? Or did you move into a career for other reasons? If so, how can you shift or adjust your life to bring your dreams and present reality more into alignment?
If you work as a copy editor but really yearn to write, can you carve out a few evenings a week to make time for your novel? Could you get up an hour earlier and spend that quiet time writing?
If you loved art in college but find your job works your intellect and not your creativity, could you find a local studio that offers a class? It may feel like more work but will actually energize you, feed you and feel rewarding.
It will also open you up to your creativity and help you brainstorm how to find a job that better aligns with you.
3. Start Saying No
If you’re in your first job ever, it can be hard to say no BUT once you have established your talent, capability and are sought after, it’s time to add a little enjoyment into life.
Because your life isn’t simply about working more.
How can you begin to reign in crazy overwork?
Perhaps you can hire someone or delegate tasks to another colleague or assistant. One of the suggestions I give to my clients is instead of adding yet another task to your To Do List – ask yourself: Who can do this instead of me?
Recognize what you are excellent at, where you shine and what tasks you do the best. Everything else gets delegated.
Value you – because if you don’t, no one will.
4. Schedule Fun
What do you really love to do?
Now that you’ve answered that question, when are you going to do it? Schedule fun days into your calendar. They are imperative.
If you love to sail, how can you get back on a boat? You don’t have to own one, lots of captains need crews. Check out your local marina and get involved.
Doing things you love and experience as fun, will clear your mind, work your body and help you show up back at work revitalized and refreshed!
In truth, I think this is the lesson that corporate America needs to learn. When people have time to be human and live balanced rich full lives, they’re actually better employees. Their creativity and productivity improves. This has certainly been my experience.
Let’s shift back from being human doers to human beings. It’s time!
How are YOU going to take action?
Leave me a comment below!
You Said NOTHING?
Sometimes life can feel like an endless To Do List. This weekend, while I contemplated relaxing, got eaten up instead with household chores, entertaining and childcare.
Suddenly it's Monday again! The have-tos start as soon as the alarm goes off and the week can easily be absorbed with task fulfillment and checked boxes.
When this happens, my life begins to feel like a treadmill.
I walk, run, sprint but am on this endless go round. That’s when a little thought enters my mind and suggests it might be time to stop and do... nothing.
Sometimes life can feel like an endless To Do List. This weekend, while I contemplated relaxing, got eaten up instead with household chores, entertaining and childcare.
Suddenly it's Monday again! The have-tos start as soon as the alarm goes off and the week can easily be absorbed with task fulfillment and checked boxes.
When this happens, my life begins to feel like a treadmill.
I walk, run, sprint but am on this endless go round. That’s when a little thought enters my mind and suggests it might be time to stop and do... nothing.
That's right, I said it, do nothing.
This is like the antithesis of the American way now. In fact, think about how we meet and greet people. More and more often we say, "Hey, how ya doin'?" or "What did you do over the weekend?" We're conditioning ourselves to be rewarded by accomplishments, achievements, lists completed.
Isn't it a little embarrassing to walk into work after a long weekend and in response to "What did you do?" your answer might be "nothing." Do we not want to admit that? If we do we might be perceived as lazy, a slacker or even an avoider.
And it isn’t just weekends, Americans take less time off than any other workers in developed nations.
Not only do we have less vacation days than other countries -on average Americans get 10 paid days per year and 6 paid holidays versus a minimum of 20 in the EU. Studies also indicate that 51% of American workers don't even use all of their vacation time. What's more 61% actually work while they're on vacation. So even when we do finally take a few days off, it’s pretty common to be on the phone or checking email. Like we just can’t turn off or unplug.
For the past year, I've consciously made an effort at being less of a Do-er. Trying to slow down and check out.
To transition myself, I’ve been actively working on two concepts:
The first one is busyness.
Somehow because Americans have become these formidable Do-ers, we derive our self worth from that: doing- accomplishing, achieving, crossing all the items off the to-do list. When I’m trapped in that cycle I never have enough time. There's always too much to do. I run from task to task feeling rushed and anxious, knowing I'll never get it all done.
My first step was getting off the busy ride.
I decided it was okay not to get everything done. I was going to survive if I sent that email tomorrow, went to the post office on Friday or delayed a meeting until next week. The sky didn't fall, the business didn't close, and no one seemed put out.
Slowing down and being more realistic with my "have tos" has made my life feel increasingly peaceful and less stressful. In fact, I’m even learning how to say no! As in, it's ok not to do everything!
The second lesson as I keep moving away from busy is toward relaxing.
At first I implemented this just with my schedule. I started limiting the hours that I worked in a day adding more down time, exercise time, and trying to find a balance that felt good to me. I no longer wanted to feel like my life was so heavily lopsided by work.
It's been about a year since I've implemented this and overall, I accomplish as much if not more than I did rushing and feeling stressed. But I don't feel nearly as much anxiety, worry or tension.
Now the next phase is relaxing even more into the flow.
What I mean exactly is that I tend by nature to be impatient. I want everything done yesterday. Because of this, I can push, push, push instead of allowing something to unfold.
As part of my year exploring trust, I’ve come to understand that relaxing into life is really an exercise in trust. If I trust that my outcome is assured, or that only good will come to me then I can relax and not worry. I don't have to constantly shore up, fixate or feel the need to do, do, do. I can relax into knowing.
Last week I read a line in A Course in Miracles that says, "who would attempt to fly with the tiny wings of a sparrow when the mighty power of an eagle has been given him?"
And to me, that's relaxing into trust.
Why should I constantly try to flap with these mini wings, pushing with all my might when the Universe (or God or whatever word you like) can do it for me?
This feels so much better. It doesn't mean I lie on the couch ALL day, reading and watching movies. But it does mean that I smile more, am clear about how to cherish everyday and enjoy the ride that is this amazing journey of life, knowing that it’s all happening in the perfect time.