The Magic of Shifting Perspective
It's often easy to look at my life and be filled with petty grievance, annoyance or irritation. My neighbor’s kids are shouting in the pool. A client cancels last minute. I have a cavity. But then I have to remember how good things really are.
Today was a glorious sunny day and as I parked my car near my office, my eye spotted a man delicately and gently coaxing his wife – who was clearly paralyzed – into a wheelchair. I watched them do this exquisite dance, where he led her shoulders while stepping back and one of her feet dragged forward. They did this two-step fluidly, again and again, until she was safely in the chair. I nearly burst out crying because what I saw in that parking lot was absolute devotion despite tragedy.
And I’m annoyed because someone beeped at me earlier?
An hour later, I was online, researching and found an article that caught my attention. It was about embracing change. I was struck by how well it was written, noted the author’s name and decided to Google her. Only to discover that she died in 2012 at the age of 56 from metastasized breast cancer. I read her obituary in the New York Times and an article she wrote for O Magazine about living with cancer, which, I soon discovered, she’d had for 25 years.
And I feel sorry for myself because my hip hurts?
It's often easy to look at my life and be filled with petty grievance, annoyance or irritation. My neighbor’s kids are shouting in the pool. A client cancels last minute. I have a cavity.
But then I have to remember how good things really are.
Today was a glorious sunny day and as I parked my car near my office, my eye spotted a man delicately and gently coaxing his wife – who was clearly paralyzed – into a wheelchair. I watched them do this exquisite dance.
He led her shoulders while stepping back and one of her feet dragged forward. They did this two-step fluidly, again and again, until she was safely in the chair. I nearly burst out crying at that display of absolute devotion despite tragedy.
And I’m annoyed because someone beeped at me earlier?
An hour later, I was online, researching and found an article that caught my attention. It was about embracing change. I was struck by how well it was written, noted the author’s name and decided to Google her.
Only to discover that she died in 2012 at the age of 56 from metastasized breast cancer. I read her obituary in the New York Times and an article she wrote for O Magazine about living with cancer, which, I soon discovered, she’d had for 25 years.
And I feel sorry for myself because my hip hurts?
For many of us, it’s as simple as shifting our perspective and remembering what we have RIGHT NOW.
A client I worked with this past fall had a chronic illness. For several years she was in so much pain that it required nearly Herculean effort for her to get out of bed and walk her dogs. She went into great detail about how she often slept in her clothes because it was too difficult and painful to change in the mornings. My heart went out to her.
I simply could not imagine being in that level of pain all the time. She went on to tell me that now, every morning, she wakes up grateful that she can move, that her body listens to her and doesn’t ache.
Is the glass half full or half empty?
I find myself thinking about Morrie Schwartz. He was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, in 1994 and became an immediate celebrity when he was interviewed by Ted Koppel for Nightline. He was facing his own mortality and spoke honestly about it.
He said, “when all this started, I asked myself, ‘Am I going to withdraw from the world, like most people do, or am I going to live?’ I decided I’m going to live – or at least try to live – the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure. There are some mornings when I cry and cry and mourn for myself. Some mornings, I’m so angry and bitter. But it doesn’t last too long. Then I get up and say, ‘I want to live…’ So far, I’ve been able to do it. Will I be able to continue? I don’t know. But I’m betting on myself that I will.”
These stories of the heroes among us, speak to me.
They remind me why I’m here. They shift my perspective back to how I want to see the world. And then I remember too, how I want to live my life- with humility, gratitude, kindness and love- everyday.
I know I’m human so sometimes I forget.
That’s why I say a prayer of thanks for the man I saw earlier in the parking lot, for the brave woman honestly sharing about her own physical challenges and for men and women who speak openly about illness and death.
Each of them reminds me of my own mortality, and inspires me to make the most of this auspicious day that I will never have again. This gift of the present. And it reminds me to shift my perspective back to appreciation and gratitude for all that I do have right now.
Can you relate? Tell me YOUR story.
Leaving a comment directly below this blog!
Get my blogs every Wednesday in YOUR inbox FREE!
Acceptance - What Does That Mean?
What exactly is acceptance and how can we achieve that in our lives?
Most mornings I meditate for 20 minutes or so. Lately I've been enjoying a CD created by Deepak Chopra and Adam Plack called The Soul of Healing Affirmations and have incorporated it into my daily practice. At some point during my meditation- first thing, maybe mid way or towards the end- I feel inspired to listen to a selection. I have the album on shuffle figuring that the Universe will play me the affirmation I need to hear. Each are about 3 minutes long. I love listening to Deepak Chopra's voice. it's deep and calming and his pronunciation of Sanskrit words always brings a smile to my face. (No matter how hard I try, I just cannot seem to get the American twang out of mine!)
So today's was A for acceptance. It starts out, "Today I will accept myself just as I am." What's interesting about this statement emanating from my iphone today was that yesterday while I was working, I had a little confidence crisis. The old tapes were playing in my head and I couldn't seem to shut them up. "Who cares what you have to say? You're nothing, nobody, not good enough." Sound familiar?
So this morning when I heard that first line it was like, "oh right, that's it, that's all I have to do."
And that's when the magic really happens. I hear, "Today I will accept myself just as I am." I breathe in and my entire being just relaxes, as if my insides have been working so hard trying to be someone else and now they're off the hook, they can just be them.
I breathe and it's like the sun opens up in my chest and fills my whole body with light. I feel utterly happy, blissful, magnificent. Like anything could happen and it would flow down my back like water off a duck.
So what exactly is this thing acceptance anyway? For me it is the abandoning of the self improvement hamster wheel and the "shoulds." It's not taking that voice in my head seriously. It's allowing myself to relax and surrender into this moment, to just be in it and it feels so free.
Deepak then goes on to suggest that "I will see the world just as it is." Because that is the second step of acceptance. The first is to accept ourselves, to quiet the inner critic. Then we have to dissolve the judge who is constantly looking outside at everything that is wrong with the world and all the people in it. So that's the other half of self acceptance, accepting everbody and everything else just the way they are. When we allow ourselves to do this, we are set free. Life feels harmonious, everything seems lighter and the seriousness just melts away.