How to Use the Centering Prayer Throughout Your Day

Last blog I shared a meditation/prayer practice with you called the centering prayer. If you missed it, here’s a link to the post.

As a quick review, here’s the basic idea:

1. Choose a word (or phrase) to focus on during your meditation.

2. Ensure that you’re sitting comfortably with your eyes closed.

Begin repeating the word or phrase silently to yourself over and over again slowly. Deepen into the phrase, slowly and intentionally, giving your thought-mind something to focus on. If your phrase is: “I rest in God,” begin by saying that phrase. Eventually it may become “I rest,” or “God” that gets repeated as you slow down and deepen into the words.

3. Whenever you get distracted by another thought or body sensation, simply return to your word or phrase.

How do you then extend this practice to your day!?

It’s easy!

• You’re gardening. Allow your mind to tune into your word or phrase. Repeat it over and over to yourself silently or aloud.

• You’re driving. Same thing. Bring your thoughts back to your word or phrase. Keep repeating it. If you get sidetracked, simply come back.

• You’re upset after reading an article about _____ (fill in the blank). Invite your word or phrase to come into your awareness. Continue to repeat it. Notice if your nervous system calms down.

And on and on, throughout your day.

The centering prayer is a wonderful example of a powerful tool that you can apply both -into your regular meditation practice AND in your everyday, going about town life.

Pick a phrase and give it a try!

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How to Have a Centering Prayer Practice

August was BUSY! How about you?

Today I have a cool meditation/prayer for you.

It’s called the Centering Prayer.

The Christian contemplative, Cynthia Bourgeault, has written extensively about this practice and teaches this technique around the world! It’s a way of praying that allows us to loosen our minds from thought and enter that transcendental space that can often feel elusive.

She shares that this practice was popularized by Father Thomas Keating, a Trappist priest. He was one of the first people to promote the Centering Prayer which is based on a 14th century Christian mystical text called The Cloud of Unknowing.

Here’s the basic idea:

1. Choose a word (or phrase) to focus on during your meditation.

2. Ensure that you’re sitting comfortably, with your eyes closed. Begin repeating the word or phrase silently to yourself over and over again slowly. This is different than a mantra where you continually repeat the word. It’s more of a deepening into the phrase, slow and intentional. The idea is to give your thought-mind something to focus on. So, for example, if your phrase is: “I am love,” you begin by saying that phrase, eventually it may become “I am,” or “love” that gets repeated as you slow down and deepen into the words.

3. Whenever you get distracted by another thought or body sensation, the invitation is to return to your word/phrase.

4. Continue repeating it. What Bourgeault explains in her book, The Heart of Centering Prayer: Nondual Christianity in Theory and Practice, is that the slow repetition helps you relax into that liminal space, much like how you might fall asleep, when your mind shifts from one state into another.

5. The recommendation is to do this for 20 minutes. Father Keating suggested practicing it twice a day.

I’ve been utilizing it, and finding it really helpful. It’s both gentle and structured, which I like!

Here’s an adapted excerpt from Bourgeault’s book about this practice:

So are we really saying that in Centering Prayer you meditate by simply letting go of one thought after another?

That can certainly be our subjective experience of the practice, and this is exactly the frustration expressed by an early practitioner.

In one of the very earliest training workshops led by Keating himself, a nun tried out her first twenty-minute taste of Centering Prayer and then lamented, “Oh, Father Thomas, I’m such a failure at this prayer. In twenty minutes, I’ve had ten thousand thoughts!”

“How lovely,” responded Keating, without missing a beat. “Ten thousand opportunities to return to God.”

This simple story captures the essence of Centering Prayer.

It is quintessentially a pathway of return in which every time the mind is released from engagement with a specific idea or impression, we move from a smaller and more constricted consciousness into that open, diffuse awareness in which our presence to divine reality makes itself known along a whole different pathway of perception.

That’s what the anonymous author of the fourteenth-century spiritual classic The Cloud of Unknowing may have had in mind when he wrote, “God may be reached and held close by means of love, but by means of thought never.”

“Love” is this author’s pet word for that open, diffuse awareness which gradually allows another and deeper way of knowing to pervade one’s entire being.

Out of my own four decades of experience in Centering Prayer, I believe that this “love” indeed has nothing to do with emotions or feelings in the usual sense. It is rather the author’s nearest equivalent term to describe what we would nowadays call nondual perception anchored in the heart.

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4 Ways to Choose Love in the Face of Uncertainty

Life is filled with the unknown. Whether it’s a presidential election, a storm prediction, a doctor’s appointment or the stock market.

In fact, life essentially is uncertainty in action.

Think about it.

Whenever you try something new – a dance class, a restaurant, lunch with a new friend, a job opportunity – there’s risk. Simply because it is new, unknown or uncertain.

So, how do we, as students of spirituality learn to embrace that which is unknown and not fall into fear?

Especially when that fear is palpable and permeates everything.

This is one of the major challenges we face, walking into uncertainty or fear without leaving us cold hearted, apathetic or checked out.

Here are 4 ways to help you.

1. Live In The World But Not of The World

My teacher, Ma Jaya used to say this all the time.

But what does it mean?

I define it as being an active participant in the world, showing up to make a difference, willingly and voluntarily. And working at not having any expectations.

It’s also the recognition that we are here in a body, in this time and space, but it isn’t all there is.

There is a vast reality far larger than we can even imagine – Source, God, One-Ness, Brahmin, Dreaming…

Remembering that this earthly plain is not all there is helps create energetic distance so you don’t get sucked into the drama, the chaos of this world that circles all the time.

Instead, be in the world as a speaker of truth, a messenger of love and choose not to get pulled into the craziness that is ever present.

I often think of the novelist Tom Robbins. In his book, Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, he wrote, “and the world situation is, desperate as usual.”

I read this when I was in my early 20s and it stopped my daily news addiction. Unfortunately, it seems even more appropriate today!

2. Choose Love

We always have a choice to stay in the vibration of love or come from a place of fear.

What will you choose?

I recently read about a church in Indiana that was defaced with graffiti that said, “Heil Trump” and another of a tilted swastika. Instead of immediately painting over it, the minister opted to leave it.

As she said, “we believe that symbols are what you make of them. And if we decide to look at these symbols as hate and be angry and frustrated, we’re focusing on the wrong issue. And so we’ve decided to leave them up as symbols of hope, whereas if anybody in the surrounding area — or even country — sees these and knows that we were targeted because we’re inclusive and they need a safe space, then they know that Saint David’s is a safe space.”

Clearly Rev. Kelsey Hutto is choosing love.

3. Nothing Real Can Be Threatened

This is a line from the Introduction to A Course In Miracles. The whole text reads, "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God."

I find this line especially helpful when I have fallen into fear.

When we experience fear, it’s always coming from our ego selves, the place where we feel separate and alone.

In those instances, I will often repeat this line over and over to myself like a mantra. It brings me back to what I know, that I am safe, that the world is protected and everything else is unreal.

As ACIM reminds us, there is only love or a call for love.

When we are in fear, our soul/God/Source/One-ness is giving us a call for love, to remember who we truly are, that we are not our egos, not the fear, that we are a part of God and love.

4. Do Your Spiritual Work – Strengthen Your Inner Compass

The best way to stay in a higher vibration is to have a daily practice.

What is yours?

Prayer, meditation, yoga, ecstatic dance?

It is imperative to take some time each day to connect in to God/Source/Love. Fill yourself back up, recline in the infinite bliss that is your refuge and sanctuary.

Make time everyday.

This is THE most important time of your day. Do this for your inner growth, your sanity and your ability to show up exactly how you want to – with love, compassion and light.

It is always in times of darkness when the light is needed the most.

Be that beacon and shine bright. 

What will you do? Leave a comment below!

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Being In the World But Not of the World

How do we take our spiritual practice and live it everyday?

Those of us who are committed to a spiritual path can sometimes feel split in two. There’s the contemplative, ascetic side of our nature, the part that loves meditation, silence and oneness with God.

Then there’s the other side of us that’s out there in the world earning a living, being a consumer, friend and partner.

How do we merge these two aspects of ourselves that seem disparate but in reality are one?

Is there a way to apply our spiritual practice into everyday living?

The exciting answer is, YES!

As Pema Chodron reminds us, “Whatever is happening is the path to enlightenment.”

Enlightenment isn’t just happening on an ashram or in a cave or in front of your altar, it’s happening in every minute of every day in how you choose to show up and live your life.

Here are 5 ways to apply your spirituality into your everyday life:

1. Don’t Take the World So Seriously

One of the main reasons I meditate is because it creates space around me, space that gives me room to not be so reactive to life – to the chaos, confusion or intensity that swirls around us all the time.

It gives me room to be reflective instead of reactive.

And from this place, I don’t take life so seriously.

I used to wear the face of intensity everywhere. Life was painful. People were suffering. The climate was being destroyed. There was nothing funny about any of that. Being an adult was serious work.

Until I realized that my intensity and seriousness wasn’t helping. It was making me miserable and was turning other people off.

Think for a minute about His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. He’s always smiling and laughing. He loves to tell jokes and he has certainly experienced suffering. His people no longer have a homeland.

2.  Recognize that Life is Happening For You Not to You

When we reframe life and look at it through this lens, it allows us to make a positive shift. Instead of obstacles we see opportunities. Rather than challenges we see growth.

What is life trying to teach you today?

Is it to slow down and enjoy more? Perhaps it’s about taking action and implementing one of your ideas.

Having an issue with another person? Some of my profoundest teachers have been the most challenging people in my life – from family members to customers.

Look at life as a great game we are playing to teach us lessons we’ve come here to learn.

3.  Practice Mindfulness

What exactly is mindfulness?

According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, mindfulness means, “paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

In other words, mindfulness is being fully present in every moment.

When you’re driving, are you looking at the road, watching the other cars and people or are you distracted by your phone or thoughts – pushing you into the future or ruminating on the past?

When you’re listening to another person, are you really hearing them or has your mind wandered to your shopping list or the movie you want to watch later?

The challenge – just as when we meditate- is to bring our minds back to the present, to what is happening right now.

Being fully aware is about being conscious in the moment and doing whatever it is you’re doing one hundred percent.

4.  Loving Kindness

What would happen if you made the decision to show up as your best self every day?

What would that look like? How would it feel?

Take your spiritual practice and put it to work today in the form of loving kindness. It’s easy to have compassion when we sit and pray. Extend that into the here and now, into your relationships with your family, friends, colleagues and customers. Even beyond that to everyone.

Could you choose to say hello to a stranger? Offer help to someone you don’t know? Smile for no reason?

5.  Remember that You Are a Vessel

My Course in Miracles lesson today was a reminder that my mind can only serve. So who should be its master? I choose: The Holy Spirit, God, the Universe, Source, Oneness to guide me.

When I get out of the way and allow spirit to work through me, I remember my function. I remember to be the embodiment of love and forgiveness, kindness and patience.

How can you get out of your own way and allow the flow of higher knowing to pour through you today?

Every minute of our lives, we’re on this path. Instead of leaving your spirituality behind with your meditation pillow, try incorporating these five principles into your life today. See how it goes!

Which one is your favorite? Tell me BELOW.

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Living Stress Free: 7 Habits for a Life Filled with Peace & Joy

Feeling stressed?

You’re not alone!

Most everyone struggles with managing life in this highly connected, 24/7 world. And, if you’re anything like me, you may have never learned healthy coping skills for stress.

Over the years, I’ve learned to incorporate these seven habits. Since then, my life works better, I’m less crazed and more productive.

So instead of coming home and drinking a 6-pack of beer, or vegging out in front of the TV, consider incorporating some of these into your life.

1.     Breathing

My #1 rule to live by is breathing.

Of course you breathe all the time (or you’d be dead!) But when you can focus on your breath – and take a few nice, deep breaths, it will instantly transform your moment. Suddenly you’ll feel more expansive. Breathing with awareness slows down the whirling thoughts and offers room for clarity.

Breathing always comes before I make any shifts or changes.

I stop, breathe and then take action.

2.     Visualize It

I believe that the Universe is always supporting us and providing us with what we need. Unfortunately, we’re often unclear about what we DO want or are accidentally giving the Universe messages of things we don’t want.

We constantly telegraph our desires – consciously and unconsciously- to the Universe with our thoughts, intentions, imagery and words.

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, pause for a moment and visualize the outcome you actually want.

• Is it to have plenty of time to get your tasks done?
• Maybe there’s a grievance that needs to be resolved easily and effortlessly – picture that.
• Perhaps you want a specific outcome. Instead of thinking about what you don’t want to happen, try seeing what you do want – as if it’s already done.

3.     Be a Thought Gardener

We’re always thinking.

Unfortunately so many of those thoughts are negative or are unconscious. Things such as:

• “I should have remembered to…”
• “Wow, my hair looks terrible today.”
• “I messed up that one part of my presentation…”

Make the decision to have kind and positive thoughts – about yourself, your work and home life.

A simple way to incorporate this is to utilize affirmations.

• I easily and effortlessly get the job done.
• I am beautiful today.
• I am smart and conscientious.

Positive thoughts are uplifting and help us be more productive and feel less stressed.

4.     Have Healthy Boundaries

It can be hard to say NO but this is a really important step in order to take care of yourself.

The ability to say NO is directly related to boundaries.

Are you okay with taking on this project or do you already have too much to do?
Do you need more help at home because suddenly all the chores have fallen into your lap?

Another way to explore boundaries is to identify people and situations that are stress triggers.

As much as possible, eliminate these. If you can’t, see if maybe you can adjust how you show up.

For example, if watching the news before bed makes you anxious and then it’s hard to fall asleep, watch something else, read, play a game or do some deep breathing.

Is there a particular person who makes your blood pressure spike? Can you avoid seeing her? If not, how can you limit your exposure?

5.     Meditation – Start a Daily Practice 

This can be as simple as 5 minutes in the morning. Meditating first thing will set your day and infuse you with energy, clarity and peace.

There are now apps designed to help you start a practice. They offer guidance, music, timers and reminders for you to come back to your practice. Some are free and some are not. For a list of 17, click here.

6.     Schedule FUN

This should probably be #1! As adults, it’s so easy to fall into the serious trap. Life is all about business, things are important and weighty but it’s crucial for our mental health, youthfulness and creativity to incorporate fun into our schedules.

Fun is rejuvenating and actually feeds us.

After an afternoon at the beach or a night at the comedy club, you’ll be surprised at how much easier it is to work. We have to give ourselves fun time – all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (not to mention grouchy and uptight!)

What does fun look like to you?

7.     Self Care

For many of us this can be hard – especially if we’re programmed as givers or care takers. We can falsely interpret this as selfish but here’s the thing; 

You can’t give to others (pour from the pitcher) if there isn’t anything to give.

We have to replenish the pitcher in order to give!

What does self care look like to you? Is it curling up with a good book? Getting a massage? Treating yourself to takeout or a movie night?

Make a list of things that feel good to you, are relaxing and rejuvenating.

Try incorporating these 7 habits and bring more peace and joy into your life. We can use the tasks and work in our lives to propel us ahead and inspire us or it can overwhelm us and stress us out.

By incorporating these ideas, see if life suddenly feels easier and a bit more enjoyable!

Let me know how it goes!

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The Power of Presence: Daily Mindfulness

There's a lot of talk about mindfulness not just within spiritual circles but more and more in the work place.

What exactly is mindfulness?

Mindfulness stated simply is awareness of the present or the ability to be present in all aspects of our lives.

It’s a honing of the mind to focus on what's happening right now.

Since the 1970s, there’s been a growing recognition and movement towards embracing mindfulness in the United States.

This is due in large part to the many Buddhists teachers who have come here over the past few decades as well as the American practitioner, Jon Kabat-Zinn, who began teaching mindfulness courses in 1979.

The first time I recognized mindfulness occurring in my life was shortly after I met my first husband. He’s from Bali and since he's Hindu, learned meditation at a young age.

Part of what had attracted me to him in the first place was his calm demeanor and indefatigable kindness.

The day I noticed his mindfulness in action, we were in Indonesia visiting his family.

We’d rented a van to take his extended family on a picnic in the mountains. I looked over at him and suddenly realized that the only thing he was doing in that moment was driving.

He wasn’t thinking about the party last night.

He wasn’t going over the stuff he’d packed, making sure he’d remembered everything.

Nor was he distracted by the conversation in the back seat.

He was just driving, focusing on the vehicle, and the road ahead. He was 100% present in that moment to his task- present and focused.

I resolved then that I wanted to develop this quality.

And I discovered that mindfulness is achieved through meditation and the internal gardening of our thoughts.

Here’s what’s helped me develop a practice of mindfulness:

1.     Meditation

I started meditating 20 years ago. I still meditate today because it feels so good to release the stress of the world. It helps me remember that there is more going on than the chaos that circles around me.

I sit in silent meditation because it provides me with solace and connecting to infinite source feeds me. I meditate to remember my essential nature. Finally, I sit to bring myself into the now and that helps me bring the silence, serenity and clarity into my working day.

2.     Mining the Mind

I like to think of myself as a gardener of my mind. I pluck out all the thoughts that distract me or are taking me out of the present moment.

I also pull out the thoughts (like weeds) that are harmful to me or remind me of old stories and ancient beliefs about limitation and lack that are no longer true for me.

3.     Coming Fully Into My Body

Being grounded in my physical body helps me experience the here and now.

I can feel where I am- the sun on my face, the wind whipping around me. I see where I am- the trees bordering the road, the faces of people walking by. I hear the world around me- the birds chirping, the trucks rumbling, children laughing.

Being in my body allows me to fully experience life.

Life is only happening right now, in this moment.

When we leave the moment by getting distracted by our thoughts, we lose the opportunity to experience what it feels to really be alive. We can easily get caught fixating about a past hurt or worrying about a future concern.

But when we can bring our focus back to this moment, we have the opportunity to heal.

Consider starting your mindfulness practice today.

Find a comfortable spot in your home where you can sit for just five minutes in the morning. Focus on your breath coming in and out.

I like to count to 11. Inhaling 1, exhaling 2 until I get to 11 and then starting over.

If you lose track, start over at 1. Before you know it, your timer will be ringing. You’ll be surprised at how quickly 5 minutes flies by!

As you commit to this daily practice of meditation, it will help you be able to listen to your mind and hear the way you speak to yourself.

Then you can decide what thoughts you want to keep and ones that need to be pulled out. And it will help you experience a greater sense of presence in your body.

See yourself as an explorer of your own inner world - have fun with it!

Let me know how it goes!

Leave me a comment below this blog about YOUR mindfulness practice.

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Acceptance - What Does That Mean?

Most mornings I meditate for 20 minutes or so. Lately I've been enjoying a CD created by Deepak Chopra and Adam Plack called The Soul of Healing Affirmations and have incorporated it into my daily practice. At some point during my meditation- first thing, maybe mid way or towards the end- I feel inspired to listen to a selection. I have the album on shuffle figuring that the Universe will play me the affirmation I need to hear. Each are about 3 minutes long. I love listening to Deepak Chopra's voice. it's deep and calming and his pronunciation of Sanskrit words always brings a smile to my face. (No matter how hard I try, I just cannot seem to get the American twang out of mine!)

So today's was A for acceptance. It starts out, "Today I will accept myself just as I am." What's interesting about this statement emanating from my iphone today was that yesterday while I was working, I had a little confidence crisis. The old tapes were playing in my head and I couldn't seem to shut them up. "Who cares what you have to say? You're nothing, nobody, not good enough." Sound familiar?

So this morning when I heard that first line it was like, "oh right, that's it, that's all I have to do." 

And that's when the magic really happens. I hear, "Today I will accept myself just as I am." I breathe in and my entire being just relaxes, as if my insides have been working so hard trying to be someone else and now they're off the hook, they can just be them.

I breathe and it's like the sun opens up in my chest and fills my whole body with light. I feel utterly happy, blissful, magnificent. Like anything could happen and it would flow down my back like water off a duck.  

So what exactly is this thing acceptance anyway? For me it is the abandoning of the self improvement hamster wheel and the "shoulds." It's not taking that voice in my head seriously. It's allowing myself to relax and surrender into this moment, to just be in it and it feels so free. 

Deepak then goes on to suggest that "I will see the world just as it is." Because that is the second step of acceptance. The first is to accept ourselves, to quiet the inner critic. Then we have to dissolve the judge who is constantly looking outside at everything that is wrong with the world and all the people in it. So that's the other half of self acceptance, accepting everbody and everything else just the way they are. When we allow ourselves to do this, we are set free. Life feels harmonious, everything seems lighter and the seriousness just melts away.