overcoming fear

Yes You Can!

Yes You Can!

When we decide to make a shift in our lives – be it a new job, relationship or home- there’s first the decision and then the doing.

Ready to make that shift in your life?

A new job, relationship or home?

Once you decide, things start to fall in place, a To-Do list or path becomes clear.

And yet, as you move closer to the actual shift, the change itself, new resistance and difficulties arise.

Here’s the trick: Don’t Quit!

Skydiving - A Lesson In Trust

Skydiving - A Lesson In Trust

About a month ago, I finally went skydiving!

I’d been flirting with the idea for 30 years but it just never happened.

And then I got scared.

Around the winter holidays, my daughter started bugging us to go skydiving as a family.

I reluctantly agreed and we scheduled to go in January. Our reservation repeatedly got canceled due to bad weather. My daughter returned to college and I was off the hook!

As the months ticked by, I began to realize that I had to face this fear.

Moving From Fear to Love

Moving From Fear to Love

Last week I was scheduled to make a brief speech in front of an audience of about 200 people. Normally, I enjoy speaking in public but sometimes it can make me a bit anxious.

And this turned out to be one of those times.

I woke Friday morning feeling my nerves racing around in my belly like fiery little sparks. I consciously worked at taking my mind off the event, focusing instead on my immediate tasks.

I had emails to write, phone calls to make. I wasn’t scheduled to speak until the afternoon, leaving for the venue around 4 pm.

At about 2:00, I quickly glanced through my emails and spotted one from a coaching client I currently have. Since January, he and I have been working on resolving an issue with one of his employees.

The employee was not doing a satisfactory job. Instead of firing him in January, my client chose to see if things could change and had spoken with the man on several occasions as well as given him two formal reviews.

None of his interventions had worked and recently he’d let the employee go.

My client had copied me his response to a recent email from this disgruntled employee.

As I read both what the employee had written as well as my client’s reply, my entire insides roiled. His former employee had refused to take any responsibility for being fired, was blaming my client and choosing to be a victim.

I was appalled but worse began feeling a panic run up my throat.

Moving Through Fear In 3 Easy Steps

Moving Through Fear In 3 Easy Steps

Last week I got a call from a woman in tears who confessed that she was incapable of completing even simple tasks anymore, like phoning a sick friend. She then said, “I’m paralyzed by fear.”

My heart went out to her.

Obviously she was in a lot of pain. Sometimes it’s easy to look at people who are successful or brave and feel like they must be cut from a different cloth. They must have mastered fear and no longer have it. We compare ourselves and feel woefully inadequate. Then we can think things like, “That person is so unlike me. I’m just a big scardey cat, afraid all the time.”

I knew this woman felt like she was alone in her suffering. 

So I resolved to support her just as I had been helped years earlier to walk through my own fear.

About fourteen years ago, I was a martial arts student, preparing for an upcoming rank test in Tae Kwon Do. This meant I’d have to break a board. I never felt terribly confident in sports and saw myself as clumsy and awkward.

I was slowly working myself into a panic about performing. Not only would I forget the moves for the form I was required to do but I’d get hurt or worseI’d make a fool out of myself and feel embarrassed in front of the other students, my teachers and family. 

I finally said something, knowing I needed encouragement. My teacher, who had also been a spiritual practitioner for more than 30 years, shared his wisdom with me.