Live Stress Free By Being Fully Present

It’s easy, when we talk about spirituality and living a “more spiritual life” to forget about the body.

We use expressions like, “we are a spirit having a human experience.” Or, “focus on the essence not on the form.” The emphasis is always away from the corporeal body because it isn’t really who we are.

Many of us who have struggled with weight or body image issues, certainly know this to be true.

There were years when I saw my body as the enemy – it was fat and ugly. Why would I want to be in it? I wanted to dissociate from it entirely. It was definitely not me.

Even today, working with people on stress management, I address this issue. Because we quickly dissociate from our bodies the minute we feel threatened. This can be from stress, anxiety, fear or trauma.

It’s as if we leap right out of the body and hover over it somewhere where it feels safer.

I happen to believe that we are spirits having a human experience but our job here on this planet isn’t to negate the human part, the corporeal aspect, but rather to embrace it.

Which was why I was so pleased when I recently heard an affirmation of Deepak Chopra’s in which he states: “The body is the garden of the soul.”

When we find that our consciousness has left our bodies, what can we do?

1.     Become Aware

Unfortunately, the world we live in just seems to get faster and faster all the time. When our minds get sucked into that vortex, of do-more-faster, it sends both our bodies and minds into stress.

See if you can begin to become aware of the triggers that launch you right out of your body. Is it a particular person? Your job load? Is it feeling like there is simply too much to do?

Often times it isn’t so much what is happening around us as it is our response to it.

How can you see and experience the chaos swirling around you at home, at work and in the world without taking it on?

Think about commuting.

That causes people lots of stress. What can you do to make that time more enjoyable? Could you listen to uplifting music? Maybe even a CD course? How could you shift that experience so that you arrive cheerful and grounded rather than anxious and disassociated?

2.     Breathe

Once you begin to recognize the pattern – when you are leaving your body because of stress - you can take action!

The fastest and easiest remedy is to breathe.

Take a deep breath and bring your awareness into the body by pulling your energy back down into it.

As you breathe, you can even close your eyes and feel yourself returning into your body through the chakras. Start at the top of your head, your crown chakra, and work your way down your spine all the way to the first chakra, located at the base of the spine.

 We often fly out of our bodies because someone or something triggers a fear response in us and we instantly feel unsafe. But we’re actually not terribly effective when we’re floating in orbit. In this place, we are often unclear, and unable to get focused.

Instead we have to ground ourselves back into the body. This enables us to take clear, concise and thoughtful action.

3.     Care For Your Physical Body

I used to think my body was the enemy but after years of working on myself, I overcame my eating disorder and the negative thinking around that. Now I have learned to love and appreciate my body.

Which is why I resonated with Deepak Chopra’s affirmation: “the body is the garden of the soul.”

When I think about my body as this sacred vessel that houses my soul, I want to treat it even more respectfully. That means feeding it quality foods, giving it exercise, rest, relaxation, and pampering.

Being a spiritual person means that you honor your body and care for it as much as you do your psyche. Your body is here for you, to take you through your days on this planet. It’s a vital part of who you are. The more you honor the body and keep it healthy, the happier and more relaxed you will be.

Will this help you?

Leave me a comment below!

Living Stress Free: 7 Habits for a Life Filled with Peace & Joy

Feeling stressed?

You’re not alone!

Most everyone struggles with managing life in this highly connected, 24/7 world. And, if you’re anything like me, you may have never learned healthy coping skills for stress.

Over the years, I’ve learned to incorporate these seven habits. Since then, my life works better, I’m less crazed and more productive.

So instead of coming home and drinking a 6-pack of beer, or vegging out in front of the TV, consider incorporating some of these into your life.

1.     Breathing

My #1 rule to live by is breathing.

Of course you breathe all the time (or you’d be dead!) But when you can focus on your breath – and take a few nice, deep breaths, it will instantly transform your moment. Suddenly you’ll feel more expansive. Breathing with awareness slows down the whirling thoughts and offers room for clarity.

Breathing always comes before I make any shifts or changes.

I stop, breathe and then take action.

2.     Visualize It

I believe that the Universe is always supporting us and providing us with what we need. Unfortunately, we’re often unclear about what we DO want or are accidentally giving the Universe messages of things we don’t want.

We constantly telegraph our desires – consciously and unconsciously- to the Universe with our thoughts, intentions, imagery and words.

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, pause for a moment and visualize the outcome you actually want.

• Is it to have plenty of time to get your tasks done?
• Maybe there’s a grievance that needs to be resolved easily and effortlessly – picture that.
• Perhaps you want a specific outcome. Instead of thinking about what you don’t want to happen, try seeing what you do want – as if it’s already done.

3.     Be a Thought Gardener

We’re always thinking.

Unfortunately so many of those thoughts are negative or are unconscious. Things such as:

• “I should have remembered to…”
• “Wow, my hair looks terrible today.”
• “I messed up that one part of my presentation…”

Make the decision to have kind and positive thoughts – about yourself, your work and home life.

A simple way to incorporate this is to utilize affirmations.

• I easily and effortlessly get the job done.
• I am beautiful today.
• I am smart and conscientious.

Positive thoughts are uplifting and help us be more productive and feel less stressed.

4.     Have Healthy Boundaries

It can be hard to say NO but this is a really important step in order to take care of yourself.

The ability to say NO is directly related to boundaries.

Are you okay with taking on this project or do you already have too much to do?
Do you need more help at home because suddenly all the chores have fallen into your lap?

Another way to explore boundaries is to identify people and situations that are stress triggers.

As much as possible, eliminate these. If you can’t, see if maybe you can adjust how you show up.

For example, if watching the news before bed makes you anxious and then it’s hard to fall asleep, watch something else, read, play a game or do some deep breathing.

Is there a particular person who makes your blood pressure spike? Can you avoid seeing her? If not, how can you limit your exposure?

5.     Meditation – Start a Daily Practice 

This can be as simple as 5 minutes in the morning. Meditating first thing will set your day and infuse you with energy, clarity and peace.

There are now apps designed to help you start a practice. They offer guidance, music, timers and reminders for you to come back to your practice. Some are free and some are not. For a list of 17, click here.

6.     Schedule FUN

This should probably be #1! As adults, it’s so easy to fall into the serious trap. Life is all about business, things are important and weighty but it’s crucial for our mental health, youthfulness and creativity to incorporate fun into our schedules.

Fun is rejuvenating and actually feeds us.

After an afternoon at the beach or a night at the comedy club, you’ll be surprised at how much easier it is to work. We have to give ourselves fun time – all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy (not to mention grouchy and uptight!)

What does fun look like to you?

7.     Self Care

For many of us this can be hard – especially if we’re programmed as givers or care takers. We can falsely interpret this as selfish but here’s the thing; 

You can’t give to others (pour from the pitcher) if there isn’t anything to give.

We have to replenish the pitcher in order to give!

What does self care look like to you? Is it curling up with a good book? Getting a massage? Treating yourself to takeout or a movie night?

Make a list of things that feel good to you, are relaxing and rejuvenating.

Try incorporating these 7 habits and bring more peace and joy into your life. We can use the tasks and work in our lives to propel us ahead and inspire us or it can overwhelm us and stress us out.

By incorporating these ideas, see if life suddenly feels easier and a bit more enjoyable!

Let me know how it goes!

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Stressed by Your To Do List? 4 Simple Strategies to Lighten the Load

I recently got back from a family holiday in France. Because I wanted to be “on vacation,” I’d decided to get a bunch of work done early so I wouldn’t have it hanging over my head while I was away. Sound familiar? We all do this, right?

Naturally, I made a list.

My list included what I needed to do for my business as well as all the personal issues that had to be addressed. Things like paying the mortgage, the electric and cable bills, getting cash for travelling, stopping the mail, etc.

I wrote my list about two weeks before we left. Almost immediately I was stressed out. My mind whirred with, “I have so much to do. I have to hurry to get it all done. The clock’s ticking. I’m running out of time.” My chest started contracting and it was hard to breathe. I’m sure my blood pressure spiked too.

For the first time since I started writing a weekly blog 18 months ago, I had writer’s block.

I literally sat down to start an article and my mind was a complete blank. I had no creativity, no ideas, nothing sounded interesting or compelling.

I just stared at my computer as the panic rose and the chant continued. “You can’t do this. You have too much to do. You have to get this piece written. Your list is waiting… And nothing.

I finally got up and walked away.

Later that night I confessed to my husband that I had writer’s block. But then I also began to recognize my other symptoms. Stress was causing my mind to short circuit in this panicky thinking. And I felt incredibly uncomfortable in my body.

That’s when I remembered – this is how I used to feel a lot.

I’d forgotten because a few years ago I made a radical shift in my schedule and opted to slow my work life down to feel more sane, whole and loving.

This awful feeling of stress, angst and physical discomfort was how I’d felt for years. It had actually become my norm. There was sooooo much to do and not enough time. I’d run around crazed, in a blurred rush, trying frantically to multi-task and get everything done.

With my list and the time crunch of my impending trip, I’d fallen right back into that place.

That’s when I made a decision because I hated feeling this way.

What was it?

My list had projected me straight into the future. All I had to do was come back to right now, this moment.

How did I do that?

Breathing.

That’s when I had another a-ha.

I couldn’t write because I was stressed. My brain was already onto the next thing on my to-do list when I hadn’t even started the first task, writing. As I allowed myself to relax and breathe, that creative flow began to re-awaken and the next day I was able to complete my piece.

If you can relate to being stressed out and unable to turn off the list in your mind, see if these strategies help:

1.     One Thing at a Time

For all that we love the notion of multi-tasking, (especially as women) we can really only do one thing effectively and well at a time. Choose to be present and focused JUST on the activity at hand – be it writing, talking on the phone or cooking dinner.

2.     Prioritize the List and Delegate

Does everything really need to get done now? Can someone else do some of it for you? Can anything wait until later?

3.     Relax

This was my big key. I had to relax into knowing that everything was fine, everything was going to get done and if it didn’t, oh well. Guess what? Once I relaxed, I knocked off all the stuff on my list no problem and without all the chaos and drama I’d kicked up previously.

4.     Breathe

Take nice deep breaths into your body and feel the tension dissolve. Breathing oxygenates the body, clears the mind and re-focuses us right back to now. It gives us instant clarity and a feeling of wakefulness.

Try these and see if your list suddenly becomes manageable and do-able. We always have the choice to fall into stress or to stay present. When we choose presence, we're often surprised at how calm and clear we feel and how effective we can be. Before you realize it, everything’s done!

How do YOU handle stress? Leave me a comment just underneath this blog post!

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5 Ideas for Managing This Anxious World

Worried about the next snowstorm hitting your city or that your flight will be delayed? You’re not alone. In fact, every single one of us experiences anxiety. But when we constantly avoid socializing, excessively sweat before a presentation or are unable to sleep because our minds won’t stop, then anxiety may be taking us over.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 40 million Americans or 18% of our population is suffering from this level of anxiety making it the top mental illness diagnosis. Anxiety is clearly the malady of our modern day life.

What Exactly is Anxiety?

Anxiety, as I mentioned earlier, is a normal human response to uncertainty and we experience it often in our lives at work, in school (such as before tests), when we make decisions or if something unexpected arises.

Anxiety becomes a problem when our feelings and thoughts prevent action or cause symptoms that render us unable to cope. These include constant worry, panic, fear and apprehension. There can also be physical symptoms such as sweating, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, and restlessness.

Why Are We So Anxious?

Our modern world is exciting and fast. Thanks to technology we’re also hyper connected and constantly exposed to vast quantities of information. It’s simply too much to process.

In addition, anxiety is effortlessly fed by looming uncertainties like the slow economic recovery, rising terrorism, constant environmental stressors, and managing life’s increasingly complex responsibilities.

If we’re forward thinking, we easily become habituated toward worry, fear and anxiety. What’s going to happen? How am I going to manage it? What if I get Ebola?

To cope with anxiety, many people take Benzodiazepine medications such as: Xanax, Ativan, Valium or Klonopin. These pills target the gamma-aminobutyric acid or GABA, a neurotransmitter chemical, enabling the user to feel more relaxed, and less anxious. They can be addicting and often, when a pill wears off, can make a person feel even more anxious.

What Else Can We Do?

Here are 5 Easy Ways to Address Anxiety Without Medication

1.     Manage It

The number one thing we can do to help ourselves deal with anxiety is to change our thinking.

Let’s reframe anxiety and accept that it exists, that we will feel it and experience it. Anxiety will never go away because we are hard wired to have it. Instead, we have to manage it and recognize it as a warning.

What Does Anxiety Want to Teach Me Right Now?

Do I need to make sure my car is filled with gasoline before the storm? Should I double check my alarm clock so I won’t be late for the meeting? Anxiety is a natural warning system but it doesn’t have to become a way of life.

2.     Be Present

Often we fall into anxious thoughts because we’ve moved ourselves out of the present moment and into a future scenario.  We imagine terrible suffering and awful possibilities. To quote Mark Twain, “.. life does not consist mainly -- or even largely -- of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.”

Instead, if we can bring our attention back to this moment, most of the time, nothing awful is happening. It’s all in our heads. When I find my mind careening forward and painting scary scenarios, I remind myself to come back to now, back to this present moment.

Then I ask questions like:

Am I safe right now?

Am I supported right now?

Are my children okay?

Am I healthy?

And nearly all the time, the answer is yes.

3. Foster Healthy Mind Habits

Left to its own devices, our minds wander, projecting lots of “what if” scenarios or telling us scary stories and other negative things like: “They don’t like me.” “I’ll lose my job.” ”He’s talking about me.” “They’ll never hire me.” “I won’t have enough money.”

Catching ourselves thinking like this is the first step.

Then we can begin to change those thoughts and shift into healthier patterns. Choosing positive self-talk, reassuring words and kind messages instead. Phrases like:

“I’m doing a good job.”

“I can ask for help if I need it.”

“I’m an excellent money manager.”

4.     Limit News

We can also support ourselves by limiting our exposure to the news. Today we can see what is happening across the globe and sometimes that level of knowledge can feed our anxiety. Learning about a military coup or suicide bomber can fuel our fear and propel us into anxiety when, in all likelihood, that occurrence will have no real impact on our lives. Especially avoid watching the news before bed.

5.     Exercise

The research that exercise reduces stress and anxiety is overwhelming. We all know it immediately makes us feel better, boosts our immune system and releases endorphins. And yet, when I’m in an anxious state, it can be hard to get myself motivated.

So the best strategies to ensure that exercise is part of your life are to:

• Create a regular routine.

  • Maybe it’s a walk with friends once a week or an evening yoga class. For me it’s running 4-5 times a week.
     
  • Creating a routine can help us stay exercising even when anxiety appears.
     

• Have a buddy.

  •  Initially it was really hard for me to be self-motivated to exercise.
    I relied on my husband to get me going. He loves working out and was like a cheerleader for me.
     

  • Another way to have accountability is to meet someone at the gym or studio. Knowing someone is waiting can get you there when you feel unmotivated.

So the next time you find yourself feeling anxious and stressed, try incorporating some or all of the above. If you need more help, reach out to a friend, coach or therapist. There’s no reason to feel oppressed by this life. It’s here for you to be lived and enjoyed to the fullest. So get out there, have fun and live anxiety free!

What do you do for anxiety?

Leave a comment below!

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