You know that expression, “wherever you go, there you are.”?
I was thinking about that the other morning.
If you’re like me, you want to world to be a better place, more loving, peaceful, sane.
But what if the real way to succeed at changing the world isn’t by going out and tangibly changing the politics, or environment but is all about changing yourself? In other words, changing your mind about the world.
This is what I think the above quote actually means.
Boundaries often get a bad rap, as if they’re not a good thing, as if they prevent us from genuine connection.
Is that really true?
First off, let’s define what we’re really talking about.
A boundary can be physical like a fence or a wall, even your skin is a natural physical boundary.
Boundaries can also be set by social or cultural standards. For example, in Japan, people greet one another with a bow, rather than in the United States where we often shake hands or hug.
Boundaries – in terms of dictating behavior- also differ in public versus private spaces, and vary depending on the types of relationship you have with someone.
When you were a child, did you have an imaginary friend? Someone you held tea parties with, read to in bed, played hide and seek with, or blamed for the mess in your room?
According to WebMD, around 65% of children under the age of seven have them, so if you did, you’re in the majority!
Naturally, there are social and emotional reasons that children have imaginary friends. It’s good company. It’s also a way to try out new social behaviors, or process feelings. An imaginary friend can offer support, too. After all, it’s YOUR special friend, someone who loves you, won’t leave, and doesn’t judge.
February is the month for lovers, for love, for reminding us of what our hearts yearn for.
Are you like me? Have you always been a romantic, from the time you were little?
I completely bought into the fantasy. You know it, right? Get rescued from your unhappy situation when you meet the love of your dreams, and live happily ever after.
As part this, I was HOOKED on the idea of falling in love even though I had NO idea of what love actually was.
I harbored this romantic dream for years.
Last year my daughter turned me onto this idea that there is a Major Arcana Tarot card that informs the overarching energy of the year.
One way to think about this is as the TONE for the year on a global scale, reflecting the energy that might be arising.
It’s actually quite simple to learn which tarot card it is for the year. Simply add the numbers of the year together. So, for this year it would be: 2+0+2+4=8
The Card that correlates with the number 8 is STRENGTH.
Immediately that feels heartening, don’t you think? As if it is inviting us to call on our own inner strength, knowing that it’s there for us always. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to cultivate strength even more since we may need this quality as 2024 unfolds.
Love is in the air!
Especially today, Valentine’s Day, a holiday dedicated to pondering love and relationships. But seriously, what’s the MOST important relationship in your life?
The one with yourself.
Whether you're in a committed intimate relationship or not, it's critical to have a fabulous, loving relationship with you. Because the more you can honor, love and respect yourself, the more others will too.
Ready to experience a better work – life balance?
Isn’t everyone?
But how?
It’s often easier to identify what we don't have than what we do. So here’s a list of symptoms to see if you’re out of balance:
Can’t catch up on sleep? Or dragging by the middle of the day?
You’re not alone. Most Americans are sleep deprived. Why? Because there’s lots of pressure to be busy, not only with work but also with family, with socializing, networking… Let’s face it, there’s simply too much to do!
Keep getting sick? Are you plagued with colds, sore throats, aches and pains? This is another symptom of being out of balance. If you’re like many busy people, you don’t often stop to take a break until your body forces you to, by getting sick.
Ready to infuse your holidays with some spirituality and really deeply feel the impact of this time of year?
It’s too easy to get caught in the frenzy and rush with holiday parties, travel, gift buying, wrapping and shipping. But there is more to this time of year than eating and stuff.
In my old Florida neighborhood, I often saw a sign in my neighbor's yard this time of year that said, “put the Christ back in Christmas.”
What does that mean? To me, it’s about remembering the true spirit of this time of year, which is ultimately about giving, and receiving from a deep heart level.
So here’s my interpretation of doing just that:
We’ve hurdled past Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday!
Now on to Chanukah, Yule, Christmas and the New Year!
Take a minute.
How do you actually want your holidays to be? Fun, relaxed, enriching?
How do you actually want to feel? Happy, satisfied, warm?
Unfortunately, how we want to experience something and how we actually experience it, can often be worlds apart.
Right?
So in an effort to really create exactly what you want this year, here are my top 5 ways to have a stress free, relaxed and wonderful holiday season!
If the first 3 questions resonated with you, you’re likely more of a routine person. Meaning that you like life to be consistent, regular. You do your best work when things are humming along and you are in your flow.
If, instead, the latter 3 seemed more fun and fitting to your personality, you’re likely to be more goal oriented.
What if you’ve spent a ton of time heading down the road to your awesome new promotion, house or relationship when you realize it’s going south fast?
Do you keep your head down, stay on track and ignore the whisper that’s telling you something is wrong?
Or do you cut your losses and come up with a new game plan?
This was me last Saturday.
Feel like you don’t belong in your family? In society? In the world?
Me too.
I used to think it was just me. That something was terribly wrong with me. I was flawed, broken because I felt disconnected. Everyone around me seemed content, loved, successful. They were all normal and happy. Why wasn’t I?
Then I convinced myself that there must be a place, an actual physical place, where I could feel all of that- where I genuinely belonged.
So I went looking. First I crossed the country, from Boston to Portland. Then I went to Asia- Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia. I even tried the Middle East and Europe.
I thought I’d found it in Bali, but no…
It took fifteen long years for me to clue in.
Sometimes the news feels like too much.
I wouldn’t blame you if you just wanted to stick your head in the sand, or in a pint of ice cream and check out by binge watching Game of Thrones.
I used to do that all the time.
As soon as the anxiety would flutter into me, I’d run straight to the cupboard and eat my way into not feeling it anymore.
Let’s face it, life, especially in the USA, has felt polarized and chaotic. Even Mother Nature seems to agree. Forest fires from Montana to California, and TWO Category 4 Hurricanes making landfall in a matter of weeks.
Because when I think about the devastation in Houston, along the coasts in Florida and in swaths of land across the west, the message seems loud and clear.
All it took was seeing the Facebook video of the line of pickup trucks towing boats toward Houston to know.
Okay, I admit it. I have a monkey mind.
I love that Buddhist expression because it encapsulates exactly how it feels. My thoughts skitter and jump. They careen from ideas about breakfast to forest fires, to my kids. My mind can work non-stop. It’s just how I’m wired.
Some days I’m good at ignoring it. Other days, not so much. But then, when I catch myself going down yet another rabbit hole of triviality, I remember to use the tools.
The week before the eclipse life felt tense, unsettled, frustrating. Curiously, the eclipse seemed to clear the air! So why not use it as a reset?
Because, more than anything, the eclipse experience reminded me to have faith.
Faith is a decision to believe in something you cannot verify.
For me, it is an act of letting go of fear, of control, of a desired outcome, and relaxing into a space of grace, of knowing that all is well, that I am safe and life is good.
I’d heard about the eclipse for months but had blown it off until a few weeks ago when my husband was eager to go. Since we waited so long to make plans, the closest motel we could find was 3 hours from the path of totality in Oregon.
Have you ever met someone and been truly inspired?
That happened to me with my first yoga teacher, Jayanta. His classes immersed us in bhakti or devotion. With every pose that we did, it wasn't about sweating or getting a work out, it was prayer in motion. It was an act of connecting to the divine and expressing that love through movement.
Recently I reconnected with him, and it inspired me to remember to infuse life with love and embrace prayer in action.
Because everything we do – from brushing our teeth, to mowing the lawn, to making a phone call - is an opportunity to share the love of God and to celebrate being alive.
What does it mean to be “spiritual”?
That word gets thrown around a lot.
Sometimes spirituality can sound serious. Like the word mindfulness. Maybe you imagine a room full of conscientious people, sitting and breathing in silence.
Other times it can sound airy-fairy, when people talk to angels, or leave food out for the little people.
I’d never really though about having a contract for an intimate relationship until I read an article in the New York Times about it.
At first, it seemed crazy to “formalize” love. But then I realized Mandy Len Catron's idea had merit. And, it reminded me that, in essence, my husband and I have this.
Well, not exactly.
We never created a written contract that we sign and annually review, like the one Mandy has. Instead, we have agreements or tenets that define our relationship.
