How To Be Fully Present

Have you ever wanted your moment – whatever was happening to be different?

When that occurs, how do you feel? Frustrated? Annoyed? Aggravated? Whatever the emotion, it’s a form of suffering.

For the past week, I’ve been exploring this idea – of wanting my moment to be other than it is - on a microcosmic level because I’ve been sick. And I was pissed about it.

I did not want to be sick.

Instead, I wanted to jump back into work, hang out with my family, enjoy the emerging days and flowers of spring. But I couldn’t.

As I saw it, I had two choices. I could fight my illness, pretend I wasn’t sick and work while I felt terrible. Or I could surrender.

Surrender isn’t giving up.

It’s accepting what is.

It’s letting go of wanting the moment to be different.

So I surrendered to being sick. To not being able to enjoy the first sunny day we’d had in a week, to feeling like a bad mom because I couldn’t take my daughter shopping like I’d promised, to feeling frightened for our future as I watch our president potentially start a nuclear was with North Korea.

Surrendering isn’t giving up, it’s accepting what is.

As I explored this idea, I also realized that suffering is when we want the moment to be different that what it actually is.

You want to get to the meeting on time and instead are stuck in traffic so you feel... You regret the way you spoke to your significant other and it burns in your belly. You’re excited about all you’re gonna get done this week and then land in bed with an awful head cold. Well, no, that wasn’t you, that was me.

Just because I accept it and surrender to what is, it doesn’t mean I have to like it. And it doesn’t mean I can’t be pro-active.

But the reality is that sometimes life has other plans for us. We can fight them or we can allow them to happen.

I can’t see the larger picture. Maybe there is a reason that I had to lie in bed for a week. Maybe there’s a reason that our country has to experience polarization and pain. I don’t know.

But I can accept that it is what it is.

And then I can act.

I can take care of myself with vitamins, supplements, support and I can stay involved politically.

None of it works without a level of acceptance.

In a technique I use with my clients called, NET (neuro emotional technique), we often talk about being okay with something. “I’m okay having breast cancer. I’m okay that my father died. I’m okay with the current political situation.”

Being okay doesn’t imply preference.

Obviously no one wants cancer. The idea behind the “okay” statement it is to neutralize any emotions you have around the issue so it doesn’t cause you stress. So you can move forward without so much emotional baggage attached to it.

Surrendering is exactly that – it’s being okay with whatever life throws at you. Releasing the frustration, irritation, annoyance and getting on with life just as it is.

So what do you say? Are you ready to let go?

Share your thoughts with me, below the blog. I'd love to hear them!

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Ready to Speak Your Truth? 4 Reasons Why It’s Time

Today more than ever it seems like we’re struggling with this idea of truth. We’re being bombarded with talk about real news, fake news, and it begs the question, what is truth?

Truth is fact, truth is honesty, and in personal life, truth is the willingness to put what you say and believe on the line.

Are you motivated to be more truthful with your loved ones?

Here are 4 reasons why it’s time for you to speak your truth.

1. Take Your Power

As women it can be hard to stand in your power. Many of us were trained to be gentle peacekeepers. And oftentimes when women do stand up, they’re branded as “bitches.”

Of course there’s another way – to bring the heart of compassion into what we say. Think about your chakras. The chakra of power is in your belly, as you move up, the next one is at your heart center, and then your 5th chakra is your throat.

The goal is to speak your truth – moving that idea or power up from the belly – through the heart and out the throat.

There’s a world of difference between someone communicating from this space as opposed to bypassing the heart and speaking truth from a place of power.

Think about people you’ve heard talk – politicians, motivational speakers, reporters. When you listen to those voices, what do you hear? Clarity and compassion or harsh aggressive, bombastic truth?

2. Be in Integrity

When we are true to ourselves, we are in integrity.

What is integrity?

One definition, according to the American Heritage Dictionary is, “the quality or condition of being whole.”

I think about integrity as alignment. I want my actions and my words to align with my thoughts and beliefs as much as I am able to do that.

So when we choke back words or don’t speak authentically, we fall out of integrity.

How can you say the words that need to be said today?

3. Forgive

Speaking your truth allows you to forgive and I believe that forgiveness is one of our primary functions on earth.

Forgiveness is an act of release – both for you and the “other.”

When we speak to someone about what we really think, how we genuinely feel, we are opening a door through which true conversation, healing and love can occur.

This is the power of forgiveness.

4. Help Others

Are you one of those people who has the ability to see exactly what’s happening? As if you can cut through to the core of something and genuinely understand an issue?

Whether it’s a business challenge or a personal one, you sense which way to go or how it should be navigated – for the right outcome.

But then, you don’t say anything.

Maybe you stay quiet because you feel like it isn’t your place to share. Or perhaps you think it’s presumptive to offer your opinion. Maybe you don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings.

But here’s the thing, by not speaking up, you are denying that person your authentic voice, your clarity, your insight.

Think back to when a friend spoke truth to you. Maybe in the moment it wasn’t fun or you didn’t like it, but did it help? Did those words prompt action from you?

I remember the first time I got advice like this as a young adult. I was living in Hong Kong and had finally quit a job I really hated. In all honesty, I just wanted to run away from everything – the city, my failed existence, even myself.

One day I was picnicking with my best friend. We’d traveled to an outlying island and hiked up a canyon following a trickle of a waterfall. From there, we could see across the harbor to Hong Kong island with its towering skyscrapers. She turned to me and said; “What are you going to do now?”

I replied, “I don’t know, anything, as long as it isn’t here.”

Then she asked; “Where are you going to go?”

And I answered, “anywhere as long as it isn’t here.”

She looked me straight in the eye and said, “you have to make your happiness here.”

Immediately I wanted to tell her to f**k off but I also knew she was absolutely right.

What did I do?

I did what she suggested. I stayed, made peace with the city and my life, and grew up.

I still remember her honest words nearly thirty years later, that’s the impact they had. What if she’d been afraid to speak? It would have been a huge disservice to me.

Hard conversations are hard but they're also important.

Whether they are with loved ones or colleagues, speak your truth. Say what you feel, what you need and what you see. All of us need feedback even when we don’t want to hear it. But that feedback when given with love, kindness and compassion can be invaluable and life changing.

Let me know how it goes! Leave your truth below!

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4 Simple Ways to Deal with Conflict

Some people love to argue and fight. Part of me is in awe of these gutsy folks because I am the opposite. I hate arguing. I don’t even like watching other people fight.

Instead, my typical response was always one of three things: I avoided the confrontation or I worked hard at making peace, smoothing things over or acting like it was no big deal.

But as I moved more into being authentic, none of these behaviors felt genuine. They were just ways that I was ignoring myself, allowing myself to be quieted or swallowing how I really felt. And then, when I ran a business, I had no choice because conflict was in my face.

It was time to deal with it.

With guidance from co-workers and coaches, and years of practice, here’s what I’ve learned. 

1.     Think Before You Talk

Not everyone has the ability to come up with a smart reply in an instant. So, instead of reliving the moment with all of your witty “should have said” remarks, move on.

Your time is better spent thinking about what you really want to say. Create an argument, a rationale about what you believe and why. Draw on facts, and examples to lend persuasion.

2.     Keep Your Emotions in Check

Have you ever heard the expression, once you get angry, you’ve lost?

When you feel really passionate about something, whether you’ve been wronged or desperately want another person to see your point of view, it’s easy to get impassioned, heated, or intense.

But emotion doesn’t often work in your favor. Usually, as emotion escalates, the argument loses ground. In other words, it becomes easier for the person to ignore you or to discredit your ideas, chalking it all up to overreaction, melodrama or hysteria.

3.     Show Up – Don’t Avoid

Trust me when I say it’s better to speak up, get it out and move on.

I’ve spent lots of time avoiding issues both in my personal life and in business. But it’s always the same. Nothing changes until we’re ready to show up. And often times, by not confronting an issue, it can actually get worse.

The next time you find yourself wanting to avoid a sensitive topic, check in. What will it take for you to talk to that co-worker? Or tell your mate that you need help with chores? Or confront your child about the state of his room?

4.     Connect Within

Nowadays, when I find myself upset about something, the first thing I do is check in with me. Is this real? Do I have a legitimate reason to be upset or is this something I am not seeing clearly?

If my internal answer confirms that there is a problem, I then ask for guidance. How can I resolve this? What is my next step? What do I need to do?

I also use affirmation to support me during this time.

One of my favorites is something I adapted from Louise Hay and if I’m really upset or afraid, I’ll repeat it over and over again. “Out of this situation only good will come. I see this issue being resolved for the highest good of everyone involved. I am safe.”

It helps me stay brave, calms me down and has the benefit of really helping a situation shift!

Whether you like it or not, conflict is a part of life. And learning to deal with it from a place of the heart is key. It can transform your life as well as those around you.

What do you think? Leave your ideas below - I'd love to hear them!

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Super Bowl Insight To Achieve Your Dreams

I was never much of a football fan. I've always preferred art galleries and concerts.

In college I used to give my boyfriend a hard time for watching his beloved Bengals until one afternoon he said to me, “you don’t like football because you don’t even know what you’re looking at.”

Well, that got my attention.

Life then took me to Asia and I lost the little knowledge I had of football until recently.

I am now married to a Patriot fan. And let me tell you, I’ve learned a whole lot about football.

And so it was that he and I were sitting on the couch this past Sunday afternoon, knowing we were about to watch a tough game.

We’d seen the Falcons mow down the Green Bay Packers to clinch the NFC championship. Not only were the Falcons strong and disciplined, they had All Star players. And the Patriots?

Well, they’re the Patriots.

As the Falcons kept putting points on the board during the first half, I started to wonder how on earth the Patriots were gonna win. Nevertheless, I was still hopeful by halftime until the Falcons shut the Pats down and then scored. Now it was 28-3.

But here was the thing, the Patriots never stopped. So often in football, it seems like one team is spent and they quit trying. Not on Sunday night.

Days later, I’m still in shock that the Patriots pulled off the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history. My husband and I have watched the replays three times and I keep scratching my head. How the hell did they do it?

As I watched the plays, I kept having this nagging feeling that there was a life lesson in here for me, which slowly began to coalesce.

Here’s what I realized:

1.  Failure was Never an Option

It seemed that no matter how far the Patriots were down, it didn’t matter.

The only way to not succumb to failure thinking is mindset – the belief that you can – no matter what.

That means ignoring the negative thoughts in your head as well as being deaf to the naysayers around you. This is mind training at its very best and is 100% an inside job.

2.  Perseverance

Perseverance is defined as “steady persistence in adhering to a course of action.” In other words, it’s when you keep trying even in the face of imminent failure. And 28-9 to start the 4th quarter sure seemed like imminent failure.

But perseverance is exactly what happened.

There was no giving up. The players had to be exhausted. Frustrated. Injured. But this Patriot team persevered. They played intense and hard – as did the Falcons. They stayed on course to the very last second.

3.  Indomitable Spirit

In Tae Kwon Do, indomitable spirit is described as, “incapable of being overcome, subdued or vanquished, unconquerable.”

I can just guess that’s how the Falcons felt about the Patriots. They were warriors and they just wouldn’t quit. It was not only difficult but proved impossible to defeat them.

This trait, like mindset, is an inside job.

4.  Self Control

 Self control is about discipline.

It’s staying patient despite setbacks. It’s not giving in to frustration. It’s keeping your head and wits about you. It’s remaining focused, on task, and in the moment. Put simply, it’s doing “your job.”

That’s exactly what we saw in that 4th quarter over and over again. Bullet accuracy in passes, incredible catches, tough blocking.

Super Bowl LI was a remarkable game played by two incredible football teams. I am truly in awe of the extraordinary athleticism and determination I saw on Sunday night.

And the big takeaway for me is to remember what I witnessed and use it in my every day life.

So that when I’m faced with adversity or a tough situation, I can remind myself to lean on these four principles to help me achieve my goals, manifest my dreams and win this game called life!

Let me know what you think! Leave me a comment below!

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The Key to Creating Peace in This Troubled World

My family and friends visiting Amantani Island in Peru.

Last Saturday, after a day of sister marches in solidarity with the women’s march in Washington DC., I had the good fortune to hear Imam Jamal Rahman.

Jamal’s lecture was sponsored by our local Jewish temple as he is one of the three Interfaith Amigos. The others are Rabbi Ted Falcon and Rev. Don Mackenzie.

They formed after 9/11 to spread a message of peace through interfaith dialogue. They have written three books and extensively tour the United States and Canada to share their message.

Jamal’s talk was infused with humor but his message was poignant.

He outlined exactly how we could reconnect, re-establish community and heal our divided country and world. And it was this: reach out to the other.

What does the other mean to you?

Think about yourself:

• Your ethnicity
• Race
• Cultural Background
• Sexual Orientation
• Religious Affiliation (or non)
• Political Persuasion

The other is something different from you.

It could be someone who has a different color skin, speaks another language, wears a headdress, sari, or sarong, eats meat, or is a strict vegan. A person whose sexual orientation is not the same as yours, or whose religion or political views differ from yours. It might be the homeless person you see everyday as you walk to work.

Jamal encouraged us to get to know this other person on a human level.

Because let’s face it. Underneath the thin layer that is our skin, we are all the same. As Toni Morrison says, we are one race, the human race.

If we can put aside our judgment or bias about what we think someone else may be like and instead reach out to him or her, we may just find we have more in common than we thought.

So who would that other be for you?

If you live in Israel and are Jewish, maybe it’s meeting someone who is Christian or Muslim.

If you live in India, can you talk to a street beggar or visit another house of worship?

If you live in the United States, see if you can reach out to a person in a marginalized group – a refugee, a homeless person, a family who is food insecure. Perhaps it’s time to visit your local synagogue, Baptist church or mosque. Maybe it’s starting a conversation with someone who voted for Donald Trump or Jill Stein.

The goal of this exercise is to get to know someone.

It isn’t to immediately launch into a political, religious or economic conversation. It is simply an act of acknowledgement. Of opening my heart to yours, in recognition that despite outward appearances, we are all one.

The only way to defeat hate is through love.

By building bridges across racial, cultural, ethnic and political divides, we can come together and remember that we are all part of one glorious family.

Isn’t it time?

I hope you’ve identified a person or persons that you're willing to reach out to. For me it’s getting more active with the homeless here in Seattle and meeting people who share a different political opinion than mine.

Take action, start a conversation. Fill your heart with kindness and non-judgment and see what happens!

And let me know how it goes! Leave a comment below.

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6 Easy Steps to Make your 2017 Vision Board

Ready to receive everything you desire?

Let the Universe know by making a vision board!

I just finished doing a vision board workshop over the weekend. Together, we cleared away what we no longer wanted from 2016 and opened the door to 2017.

Once we knew where we wanted to go, we set out to make boards!

If you missed my class, here is a brief explanation.

What is a Vision Board?

It’s a pictorial representation of your year, what you would like to manifest or be inspired by in the upcoming year.

Why do a Vision Board?

A vision board helps you to see exactly what you want to manifest for your year. We know that what we focus on expands so we always want to focus on what we want. A vision board helps that happen.

Ready to start? Here are the steps:

Step 1 – Get Clear

Spend some time making a list of goals and intentions for your year. Think about every aspect of life: career, health, finances, relationships, learning, creativity, spirituality and- don't forget- fun!

Most of all, think about how you want to feel this year – happy, expansive, clear, vibrant, positive, loving, grateful…

Step 2 - Get Your Supplies

Stop by the craft store and look for the following:

• Something Flat - poster board, foam board, cardboard or canvas panels
• Glue – the best one is Elmer’s Rubber Cement. It’s smelly but doesn’t buckle your paper or come off
• Scissors
• Images – Get a pile of magazines to thumb through. You can also use photographs that you have or grab online
• Words or Phrases (from magazines, online or stickers)
• Anything Else Fun – markers, stickers, glitter, ribbon, stencil lettering, craft paper

Step 3 -  Rip & Cut

Cut out images, words, and phrases that speak to you and relate to your goals and intentions. Make a big pile. Then trim and neaten each piece up.

Step 4 – Lay Out

Take your words and images and begin to lay them out onto your board until you’re happy with the style and placement. The look and design is up to you and your creativity! Allow yourself to relax and let it flow.

Some people keep it really simple with their word for the year and a few images. Others (like me) tend to cover every square inch.

The look and feel is entirely up to you. Just remember to think holistically – and incorporate every aspect of your life – mind, body, emotion, spirit…

You may not use your entire pile of images and words. Feel free to save those for next year in a Ziploc bag.

Step 5 – Glue

When you’re happy with the layout, glue everything into place.

Step 6 – Placement

Find the PERFECT location in your home or office for your board. Somewhere you’ll see it all the time. I put mine on my desk where I look at it throughout the day.

Some people put it on their altars or sacred spaces. Others prefer the kitchen or bathroom!

Find the place that’s right for you – somewhere you can see it everyday.

This is your opportunity to have fun and manifest your dreams in 2017!

When you’re done, post your boards below or on my Facebook page so I can see them!

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What’s Your Word for 2017?

It’s almost New Year’s Eve.

Nearly 2017.

Ready to start this new year?

One of the best ways to get clarity is to choose a word, ONE word to focus on, to dive into.

ONE word to be your theme for the year.

In 2016, I chose receive.

I’ve spent the last 12 months really exploring what receive means to me. Some of the questions that I asked were:

• How do I allow myself to receive?
• Where am I limiting that?
• How do I experience opening up to receiving in my body, mind...

This inquiry taught me a lot about myself. About where I hold back, where I get stuck, where I feel afraid.

Through a deeper relationship with this word, receive, it's helped me open up more, relax more and allow myself to feel safe, comfortable and happy to let in all the abundance, happiness, opportunities and change that has come my way this year.

And now it’s time for me to choose a new word!

Here are 3 Ways to Help You Tune into Your Word for 2017

1.     Ask

Get quiet and simply ask. What is my word for 2017? Is there something I could benefit from focusing on?

Here is a list of some of the words my students have chosen in the past: bold, trust, faith, love, dream. balance, speak, mindfulness, pause, deliberate.

2.     Use A Book

If you’ve asked and nothing has come to you, you can always try this cool trick.

Grab a book, any book, off the shelf and close your eyes. Think about your word for the year and then randomly open the book. See where your eye lands and what it reveals.

3.     Meditate on it

Once a word comes to you, try it on. Settle into the energy of that word.

• How does it feel?
• Is there an opportunity for learning and growth?
• Is this where you need to go in 2017?

If the answers feel affirming then you’re on the right track. Don’t be dismayed if you feel scared. That’s often a pre-requisite to change.

My husband often tells me that if he feels afraid, he knows he’s onto something!

Have fun with this and share your word with me! Simply type it in below.

If you’re ready to dive in more, download my free vision worksheet to really jump start your year! Click HERE

Here’s to an amazing, wonderful 2017! 

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Manifest Your Holiday Miracle

The other morning I turned the page for my new lesson in A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and here is what it said; “I am entitled to miracles.”

I smiled.

First because I love that idea, and second because it felt so timely, given that Christmas and Chanukah are right around the corner.

I’ve always been fascinated with miracles, magic and what seemed like “other-worldly stuff.” To me, miracles were the foray of Gods, of holy people, of wonder. They weren’t something that a mere mortal such as myself could perform.

Until I learned more - that we, you and I, co-create our world with God.

One thing that I really appreciate about A Course in Miracles it that it’s like a handbook for how to do that. In fact, on page 3 it details 50 principles to describe a miracle!

Here Are my Top 10 Definitions of a Miracle

1.     There is no order of difficulty in miracles.

One is not "harder" or "bigger" than another. They are all the same. All expressions of love are maximal.

2.     Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.

The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.

3.     Prayer is the medium of miracles.

It is a means of communication of the created with the Creator. Through prayer love is received, and through miracles love is expressed.

4.     Miracles are both beginnings and endings, and so they alter the temporal order. 

They are always affirmation of rebirth, which seem to go back but really go forward. They undo the past in the present, and thus release the future.

5.     Miracles are teaching devices for demonstrating it it as blessed to give as to receive.

They simultaneously increase the strength of the giver and supply strength to the receiver.

6.     A miracle is a service.

It is the maximal service you can render to another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself. You recognize your own and your neighbor's worth simultaneously.

7.     Miracles reawaken the awareness that the spirit, not the body, is the altar of truth.

This is the recognition that leads to the healing power of the miracle.

8.     Miracles are natural signs of forgiveness.

Through miracles you accept God's forgiveness by extending it to others.

9.     The miracle acknowledges everyone as your brother and mine.

It is a way of perceiving the universal mark of God.

10.  The miracle is a learning device that lessens the need for time.

It establishes an out-of-pattern time interval not under the usual laws of time. In this sense it is timeless.

As we head into the holidays, think about Jesus as an example of one who recognized his own divinity.

Why not embrace your own ability to manifest miracles?

Be love, share love and open up to the wonderment of life this season.

Use prayer to set intention and visualize perfect healing, manifestation or whatever it is that your life needs.

You can do this – it is your nature and right. And as we are taught in ACIM, “Miracles are natural. When they do not occur, something has gone wrong."

So get to work!

Don’t forget to let me know how it goes – share your miracles with me.

Leave a comment below.

Feeling the love? Join our growing tribe today!

PS - If you’re interested, here’s a link to see all 50.

5 Tips for A Stress-Free Holiday Season

We’re entering into the vortex of holiday. The next 5 weeks will be a blur of excitement… and stress.

Many of us look forward to the holidays as a time for family, fun, sharing and giving. But the holidays are THE most stressful time of year.

So in the midst of decorating, shopping, cooking and partying, be sure to take extra special care of YOU.

Here are my top 5 ways to stay sane and enjoy this most wonderful time of year.

1.    Start Your Day

How you start your day is critical. 

For years my husband would say, “How you start your day is how you live your day.” 

He and I always start with meditation. Why? Because it offers a moment of silence, of unity and a way to ground and center myself before I jump into the chaos of life.

Give yourself the gift of silence in the morning. 

If you’re not ready for that, listen to a guided meditation. I have many on my website. Feel free to download some today. Click Here

2.     Schedule Timeouts

Timeouts aren’t just for toddlers anymore. Timeouts are for adults, especially Mommies and Daddies who need a little down time, relaxation and rest.

But the key is to schedule them.

I know this sounds counter intuitive – but if they aren’t scheduled, life will intercede. Here are the steps to making your timeouts a reality:

• Ask yourself: What time during the day is good for even a 20-minute time to chill? Around lunch time? During that 3pm drag? A half hour before bedtime?
   
• Now think about what day or days of the week this could work.
  Maybe Wednesdays the kids don’t need to get picked up until 4 so you could have an hour to put your feet up and read a magazine. Or Friday is a half day at work, you could do something in the afternoon...

SCHEDULE these breaks into your life.

Think of them as catnaps OR take an entire afternoon and get a massage, relax in the hot tub or simply unwind on a nature walk.

3.     Delegate / Ask for Help

Even when we look forward to the holidays, they can easily feel overwhelming.

Because in addition to the regular schedule – job, children, family, chores, school – there’s the added decorating, gift buying, socializing…

How can you manage it all?

• Make a list of all the new chores and obligations/invitations that the holidays bring.
   
• Prioritize the list. What can other people do?
   
• Enlist help from friends and family members including children – regardless of age. They love to assist and it’s fun for them to be involved.

I know a woman who confessed to being such a control freak she wouldn’t let anyone help her put the lights on the Christmas tree.

Know yourself and decide what the MUSTS are for you, then give away the other tasks. (Even if it means they don’t get done absolutely perfectly.)  

4.     Stick to the Budget

I know this one isn’t romantic but it’s a vital anti-stress tool.

Overspending for the holidays can fell good for a fleeting moment but ultimately it adds undue pressure and stress.

To avoid this, make yourself a budget.

How much available cash do you have for gifts?

Be realistic.

Once you identify that, allocate a certain amount per person. If you have specific presents in mind, subtract those costs from your budget and then get creative with the rest.

There’s always enough money for everything you need to get.

5.     Exercise

I recently finished an article that cited research about the incredible benefits to your brain of cardio exercise like running. It helps create new brain cells (wahoo!) It also benefits mitochondria which provides energy to the cells.

If you aren’t in the habit of exercising, the holidays are the perfect time to start.

You'll feel better in mind, body and spirit. It will lower your stress level and keep your neurons strong and healthy regardless of how much eggnog you imbibe!

Enjoy these next few weeks with friends and family. But be sure to take the best care of YOU!

Let me know how it goes – share your self care plan with me and leave a comment below!

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4 Ways to Choose Love in the Face of Uncertainty

Life is filled with the unknown. Whether it’s a presidential election, a storm prediction, a doctor’s appointment or the stock market.

In fact, life essentially is uncertainty in action.

Think about it.

Whenever you try something new – a dance class, a restaurant, lunch with a new friend, a job opportunity – there’s risk. Simply because it is new, unknown or uncertain.

So, how do we, as students of spirituality learn to embrace that which is unknown and not fall into fear?

Especially when that fear is palpable and permeates everything.

This is one of the major challenges we face, walking into uncertainty or fear without leaving us cold hearted, apathetic or checked out.

Here are 4 ways to help you.

1. Live In The World But Not of The World

My teacher, Ma Jaya used to say this all the time.

But what does it mean?

I define it as being an active participant in the world, showing up to make a difference, willingly and voluntarily. And working at not having any expectations.

It’s also the recognition that we are here in a body, in this time and space, but it isn’t all there is.

There is a vast reality far larger than we can even imagine – Source, God, One-Ness, Brahmin, Dreaming…

Remembering that this earthly plain is not all there is helps create energetic distance so you don’t get sucked into the drama, the chaos of this world that circles all the time.

Instead, be in the world as a speaker of truth, a messenger of love and choose not to get pulled into the craziness that is ever present.

I often think of the novelist Tom Robbins. In his book, Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, he wrote, “and the world situation is, desperate as usual.”

I read this when I was in my early 20s and it stopped my daily news addiction. Unfortunately, it seems even more appropriate today!

2. Choose Love

We always have a choice to stay in the vibration of love or come from a place of fear.

What will you choose?

I recently read about a church in Indiana that was defaced with graffiti that said, “Heil Trump” and another of a tilted swastika. Instead of immediately painting over it, the minister opted to leave it.

As she said, “we believe that symbols are what you make of them. And if we decide to look at these symbols as hate and be angry and frustrated, we’re focusing on the wrong issue. And so we’ve decided to leave them up as symbols of hope, whereas if anybody in the surrounding area — or even country — sees these and knows that we were targeted because we’re inclusive and they need a safe space, then they know that Saint David’s is a safe space.”

Clearly Rev. Kelsey Hutto is choosing love.

3. Nothing Real Can Be Threatened

This is a line from the Introduction to A Course In Miracles. The whole text reads, "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God."

I find this line especially helpful when I have fallen into fear.

When we experience fear, it’s always coming from our ego selves, the place where we feel separate and alone.

In those instances, I will often repeat this line over and over to myself like a mantra. It brings me back to what I know, that I am safe, that the world is protected and everything else is unreal.

As ACIM reminds us, there is only love or a call for love.

When we are in fear, our soul/God/Source/One-ness is giving us a call for love, to remember who we truly are, that we are not our egos, not the fear, that we are a part of God and love.

4. Do Your Spiritual Work – Strengthen Your Inner Compass

The best way to stay in a higher vibration is to have a daily practice.

What is yours?

Prayer, meditation, yoga, ecstatic dance?

It is imperative to take some time each day to connect in to God/Source/Love. Fill yourself back up, recline in the infinite bliss that is your refuge and sanctuary.

Make time everyday.

This is THE most important time of your day. Do this for your inner growth, your sanity and your ability to show up exactly how you want to – with love, compassion and light.

It is always in times of darkness when the light is needed the most.

Be that beacon and shine bright. 

What will you do? Leave a comment below!

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3 Ways to Unleash Your Roar

For years I romanticized about being a martial artist. It was cool, powerful, magic. 

I loved the idea of defending myself with only my body as a weapon, hurtling through the air like Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan.

I finally got my wish in 2001 and signed up for Tae Kwon Do with my seven year-old daughter.

Slowly I learned kicks, blocks and forms.

Studying Tae Kwon Do reminded me of embarking on a new foreign language, one that was mental AND physical. It required me to use muscle memory, especially for the forms, which I loved.

But I also had to fight.

One day I was paired with a gentle man, the father of two boys and a friend of mine. We bowed to one another and before I knew it, his padded fist landed a blow directly at my nose!

My head flew back as I recoiled in shock. The splintering static of pain shot through my face. His punch though had an effect. I rebounded and aggressively fought back.

Minutes later we were done.

I sat down, panting and watched the next round but as I did, the tears welled up behind my eyes and a gush of emotions wrenched through my body.

It took everything I had not to lose it. I kept taking deep breaths until my emotions were in check.

After practice, I asked, what happened?

All my life I’d been conditioned to be a peacemaker, to make no waves. I’d never been encouraged to fight, defend myself or even be assertive.

When Mike hit me, it activated that old victim place and I didn’t know how to respond. It brought me back to being twenty.

I'd been in Barcelona for spring break. My friend and I had impulsively decided to walk to the Joan Miró museum. We soon found ourselves in a semi-deserted park, a gang of teens following us. The next thing I knew, their leader was brandishing a knife. “Give me your money.” I shook my head and acted like I didn’t have any.

Then he grabbed me, his blade cut at my neck. I froze, peed my pants and sent a pleading look to the gardener hoping he’d save me. Instead, he watched impassively and did nothing.

My girl friend, however, screamed. Loud.

One of the gang member’s lunged at my thin cotton satchel. It ripped open and everything spilled onto the grass – my passport, money, key…

Sparring with Mike had forced a difference response. Fight. He pushed me to defend myself and through that I discovered how to access the place of power within me.

Last week I was at a retreat and one of the women shared an experience of watching her son at his Tae Kwon Do rank test. She observed the kids, all of whom had perfect form, did the kicks exactly right. But only some of them were able to break a board. 

I knew exactly what she was talking about. 

I told her about the Korean master who trained my instructors. He would say, “You have to go to crazy.”

In other words, you have to be willing to be all in, to hold nothing back, to fight as if your life is on the line.

And the only way to do that is to access that power within.

We all have it but in most of us, especially women, it can lay dormant.

Here are 3 Ways You Can Access that Power Within:

1.  Shout it Out

One of the ways Tae Kwon Do helped me was by yelling. They call it a “kihap.”

Whenever you hit, punch, kick, you make this guttural cry.

Try it. Exhale hard from your abdomen and shout.

Let it go – all of it- the tension, fear, anxiety, anger…

It feels amazing.

2.  Say No

So many times as women, we’re conditioned to play nice, be soft, small or docile. When you find yourself in a situation that feels uncomfortable in ANY way, say no.

~No, I don’t want you to come to my house.

~No, please stop texting me.

~No, I am not interested.

3. Listen Within

We always know what to do, say or how to act. We just don’t always listen.

I was always looking for approval, for conformation because I didn’t trust myself. Sound familiar?

And yet, I do know and I always have known. Just like you.

It’s time to trust yourself and YOUR knowing. When you feel unclear, check inside of you and ask for the answer. Pray for guidance, insight, clarity. It will always be given to you.

Don’t feel like you have to run out and sign up for martial arts to connect to your own inner strength and power. It’s an internal river wide and strong that’s available to you at any given moment. All you have to do is choose to connect with it.

Step into that power! Shine that gorgeous love bright and strong into the world.

I want to hear you roar!

Tell me what that's like for you! Leave me a comment right here!

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Move into Your New Life with Joy & Ease

In my blog a few weeks ago, I laid out the 3 steps for manifesting your vision – dreaming it, writing it out, speaking it into existence and allowing it to occur. (if you missed it, click here.)

As it begins to come to fruition, something curious happens.

Instead of being elated, you may feel scared, unsure or totally unsettled.

This is the moment when we can self-sabotage.

It’s kind of ironic – to move toward creating exactly what you want only to be scared of it.

The first part (see above) was focused on manifesting externally – the new job, the healthy body, the intimate relationship.

Now you have to make the internal shifts in order to fully step in and maintain this new space and way of being. It’s time to up-level both within and without.

Here are 4 tips to help you actually live your dreams:

1.     The Upper Limit Challenge

Gay Hendricks wrote about this concept in The Big Leap. In a nutshell, it’s when we get something we want – like a promotion, dream house, retirement- and then sabotage another area of our lives – pick a fight with the spouse, get sick. Because we can't take too much good.

Upper limit issues can also manifest in that sudden fear you feel after you landed your first $10k client or sold your initial $2M property and your stomach drops. Immediately the internal critic starts: “This is never gonna happen again. I can’t hold onto this, I’m gonna lose it all…”

That voice is a signal to you that you’ve hit the unconscious ceiling – your upper limit of success, of what you believe you deserve.

When this occurs, allow yourself to recognize it. Gently move to a place where you can open up and allow even more happiness, money, abundance, and love into your life. Use your spiritual practice to ground and support you. Additionally, ask yourself:

• Is there someone I have to forgive?
• Does an old belief need to get released?

We must release the old in order to make room for the new.

2.     Give Yourself Time

When we push into the new and get what we've asked for, the expectation is that now everything is perfect.

It’s the fairy tale / happily ever after syndrome.

But the beginning is never the end!

Think about it.

You’ve just expanded yourself. Of course it feels strange and uncomfortable. It's natural to feel vulnerable or weird. Be patient with yourself as you settle into this new state.

Remember, it takes time to learn how to swim in this bigger pond! To navigate the ins and outs of the terrain and make friends with the new inhabitants. To learn how to live your fairy tale.

3.     Expand Into The And

When we feel afraid because something is new or unfamiliar, we immediately want to contract back to what is safe.

Instead, see if you can allow yourself to stay open to possibility, networking opportunities, and new connections.

If you find yourself feeling small or wanting to run back to your old job, home, or neighborhood, recognize it for what it is, a normal response.

Instead of judging, honor your process and nourish yourself in ways that feed you – take a bath, go for a walk, have dinner with friends. Relax.

Then schedule something new at least once a week to help you expand and reach out.

4.     Hold the Tension

The transition between moving from the old situation into the new is fraught with uncertainty and anxiety. Because these are feelings we typically never want to experience, we often push them away resulting in sabotaging behavior.

Instead, see if you can be okay not knowing everything, not having solved every challenge.

For in that space of the unknown lies the alchemy, the magic of total transformation.

It's there waiting for you. Waiting for you to fully step into this higher vibration, this new exciting, thrilling life that you’ve dreamed, visioned, and manifested.

Now it’s time to genuinely and wholeheartedly embrace it and live it.

You are SO up for this. Go for it!

Let me know how I can support you by leaving a comment below.

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Embrace These Days of Awe

We are in the midst of the Days of Awe as they are known to all of our Jewish brothers and sisters. This 10-day period commences with Rosh Hashanah and ends on Yom Kippur.

This is the Jewish New Year and as such is a deep time of reflection, a turning within, as we shed the old year and turn to look at the new.

One of the main themes of the Days of Awe is the idea of atonement.

Apart from the name of a well-known book and film, what does this actually mean?

In the Jewish tradition, atonement is an act of reconciliation, the desire to make amends or reparations for a wrong-doing. This is a time to forgive and ask for forgiveness.

Jews believe that God has a book in which s/he is writing down all your good and bad deeds. This is done during the Days of Awe, so if you are willing to seek forgiveness, God may look favorably upon you.

In Christianity, we also see this word, atonement.

It largely refers to the idea of reconciliation with God. In the Christian concept, man has sinned (think Adam and Eve) and it was Jesus who sacrificed (and was resurrected) that atoned for the sins of the world. This act cleaned the slate and made everything right again with God.

But it is the definition found in A Course in Miracles that I most resonate with.

Here, atonement means to undo erroneous thinking.

This is because we have forgotten who we really are. We falsely believe that we are separate – a body and an ego - and not spirit. We think that we are distinct and apart from God. But the truth is that we are all spirit. Our true relationship is – that we are not separate from God. In other words, at-one-ment.

“You are the work of God, and His work is wholly loveable and wholly loving. This is how a man must think of himself in his heart, because this is what he is.” (ACIM, p.9)

Embrace this idea and see yourself as inherently loveable AND loving.

Atonement is the act of forgiving - both oneself and others. As it says in A Course in Miracles, “the forgiven are the means of atonement.” We forgive ourselves because we have forgotten who we truly are and we forgive all of our brothers and sisters for the same reason.

Have fun with this! Embrace these Days of Awe. Seek to forgive and start your new year fresh and free. And always remember your true nature, divine, perfect and at-one with God.

Let me know how it goes! Feel free to leave a comment below.

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5 Tips for Manifesting the Life of Your Dreams

We all have dreams and plans for how we want our life to be.

I'm sure you’ve laid in bed and fantasized about sailing the Caribbean, being married to your ideal partner, living in a ski in/ski out house on the mountain... having a passionate, full life.

Right?

So the question then is ~ How do you take that dream and manifest it?

Turns out, it’s actually really simple.

Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

In only 3 steps you can take your life from dull and mediocre to inspiring and fulfilling.

Ready?

1. Vision / Intention

The first step is to get really, really clear about exactly what you want. Many of us kind of know what we want but haven’t spent the time to actually flesh it out.

Ask yourself:

• What’s my dream life?
• How do I want my life to be?
  • Think about this from every aspect of your life, like:
    • Job/career
    • Money
    • Relationship
    • Family
    • Fun time
    • Vacation
    • Spirituality
    • Creativity
    • Health
    • Recreation
    • Exercise
       
• How do I want to feel?
  • Now think about how you want to feel once you've achieved your ideal lifestyle. Maybe emotions such as: exhilarated, inspired, satisfied… This is a KEY piece because you don't want to be a millionaire who's always stressed about finance, do you?

2. Repetition / Attention

Once you’ve allowed yourself to vision, be sure to write it all down in vivid detail.

Write it as if everything has already happened.

Here’s an example of how to get started:

“I am so grateful that I live in this amazing 2 bedroom apartment overlooking the Hudson River, that I run my successful health and wellness business that provides me with $10,000 /month in revenue for the twenty hours a week I work, that I have highly skilled support, that I share my life with (name) and our relationship is deep and fulfilling, that I feel so excited every day when I wake up…”

Put your written vision statement in a place (maybe next to your bed) where you can read it both in the morning and at night before you go to sleep.

Do this every day.

Be sure to read your vision with passion.

3. Relax and Enjoy

Once you put your intention and vision out in the Universe, get ready to enjoy the ride!

Because here’s the thing: we co-create our world with Source, God, One-ness, the Universe. And that means everything will unfold – we just can’t exactly control when or how.

For many of us recovering control freaks, this can feel scary.

The other two steps (1 & 2) are easy. They’re do-able tasks that can be completed.

This third step involves a leap of faith.

Put your dream out there, focus on it with your attention but try not to get uptight about it. Instead, see if you can allow yourself to enjoy the journey and watch the mystery unfold.

It’s magical.

If you follow these 3 simple steps, you can manifest your deepest dreams and desires and truly transform your life.

Are you ready?

Share your dreams with me!

Leave a comment below with ONE thing you want for yourself. That way, I can help hold the space for you!

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The Magical Breath

Did you know that the breath is the single best way to connect your mind, body, and spirit?

Cool or what?

In the ancient tradition of yoga, there is a practice called pranayama.

Prana is a Sanskrit word that means life force.

Yogi Bhajan said “Prana is the most powerful and most creative thing God ever created, because out of prana came life.”

Prana is evidenced every moment by the breath.

Think about it. Whenever there’s a scene in a movie where a person looks possibly dead, what’s checked? Someone leans over the still body to see if she is still breathing.

Life force is inextricably linked to the breath.

The Sanskrit word yama means to control or restrain. It is also the negative form of ayama, to extend or stretch.

Thus, pranayama is the control of life force and the ability to consciously extend and manipulate the breath.  And practicing Pranayama is the doing of conscious breathing exercises. (I’ll send you a new one each month. This is September’s.)

If your goal is to lead a conscious life, you have to embrace the breath.

Here is what you can expect when you do these breathing exercises:

1. Feel Radiantly Healthy 

Every cell, organ, gland, tissue and muscle in your body needs oxygen. This is why we are all encouraged to do cardio- exercise.

Breathing does this too.

When we regularly oxygenate our systems, we help them run at their potential. Then they can more easily fight off illness and help us reduce and even eliminate stress.

Imagine living with increased vitality! That would mean having an abundant amount of energy.

Doesn't that sound great?

2. Control Your Mind

Your mind essentially regulates what you think, feel, perceive and experience.

Have you ever had a moment when you were really panicked about something? You're heart was beating wildly in your chest, your mind flying around, unable to concentrate because the anxiety and tension had you in its grip?

The fastest way to come out of this is a nice deep breath.

That inhalation brings you back to the moment, helps you ground and center, and physically calms down the body.

Ancient Yogis have taught us that the mind is directly linked to prana (life force). So, if we control the prana, through increased awareness of the breath, we can control our minds.

This is how much power lies with the breath.

3. Make What Is Unconscious Conscious

Breathing with awareness helps us wake up.

Not just our physical bodies by energizing and oxygenating them, not just our minds by waking them from a stupor but it helps us tap into true awareness.

Breathing allows you to come fully into the moment and be 100% present.

The breath is the link between the mind, body and spirit and allows us to access and integrate all with mindfulness, presence and joy.

Become fully aware of your breathing today and enjoy better health, peace of mind, increased clarity and joy.

How is the breathing going for you? Leave a comment below. I'd love to know!

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