Finding Real Belonging

Finding Real Belonging

Feel like you don’t belong in your family? In society? In the world?

Me too.

I used to think it was just me. That something was terribly wrong with me. I was flawed, broken because I felt disconnected. Everyone around me seemed content, loved, successful. They were all normal and happy. Why wasn’t I?

Then I convinced myself that there must be a place, an actual physical place, where I could feel all of that- where I genuinely belonged.

So I went looking. First I crossed the country, from Boston to Portland. Then I went to Asia- Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia. I even tried the Middle East and Europe.

I thought I’d found it in Bali, but no…

It took fifteen long years for me to clue in.

5 Strategies To Deal with Uncertainty

5 Strategies To Deal with Uncertainty

Sometimes the news feels like too much.

  • Hurricanes
  • Earthquakes
  • Fires
  • Threat of Nuclear War

I wouldn’t blame you if you just wanted to stick your head in the sand, or in a pint of ice cream and check out by binge watching Game of Thrones.

I used to do that all the time.

As soon as the anxiety would flutter into me, I’d run straight to the cupboard and eat my way into not feeling it anymore.

But then I realized there was another way to deal with anxiety and uncertainty.

Feel More Deeply Connected: 3 Simple Ways

Feel More Deeply Connected: 3 Simple Ways

Let’s face it, life, especially in the USA, has felt polarized and chaotic. Even Mother Nature seems to agree. Forest fires from Montana to California, and TWO Category 4 Hurricanes making landfall in a matter of weeks.

This is NOT a political message, this is a call to action.

Because when I think about the devastation in Houston, along the coasts in Florida and in swaths of land across the west, the message seems loud and clear.

All it took was seeing the Facebook video of the line of pickup trucks towing boats toward Houston to know.

These disasters are a reminder for us to come together.

The Real Inside Job: 4 Ways to Harness the Power of Your Mind

The Real Inside Job: 4 Ways to Harness the Power of Your Mind

Okay, I admit it. I have a monkey mind.

I love that Buddhist expression because it encapsulates exactly how it feels. My thoughts skitter and jump. They careen from ideas about breakfast to forest fires, to my kids. My mind can work non-stop. It’s just how I’m wired.

Some days I’m good at ignoring it. Other days, not so much. But then, when I catch myself going down yet another rabbit hole of triviality, I remember to use the tools.

Here’s a quick list to help you stay focused, feel present and harness the power of your over-active mind:

What The Eclipse Taught Me About Faith

What The Eclipse Taught Me About Faith

The week before the eclipse life felt tense, unsettled, frustrating. Curiously, the eclipse seemed to clear the air! So why not use it as a reset?

Because, more than anything, the eclipse experience reminded me to have faith.

What is faith?

Faith is a decision to believe in something you cannot verify.

For me, it is an act of letting go of fear, of control, of a desired outcome, and relaxing into a space of grace, of knowing that all is well, that I am safe and life is good.

I’d heard about the eclipse for months but had blown it off until a few weeks ago when my husband was eager to go. Since we waited so long to make plans, the closest motel we could find was 3 hours from the path of totality in Oregon.

Live a Passion Filled Life In 3 Simple Steps

Live a Passion Filled Life In 3 Simple Steps

Have you ever met someone and been truly inspired?

That happened to me with my first yoga teacher, Jayanta. His classes immersed us in bhakti or devotion. With every pose that we did, it wasn't about sweating or getting a work out, it was prayer in motion. It was an act of connecting to the divine and expressing that love through movement.

Recently I reconnected with him, and it inspired me to remember to infuse life with love and embrace prayer in action.

Because everything we do – from brushing our teeth, to mowing the lawn, to making a phone call - is an opportunity to share the love of God and to celebrate being alive.

3 Must Haves For A Happy & Rich Spiritual Life

3 Must Haves For A Happy & Rich Spiritual Life

What does it mean to be “spiritual”?

That word gets thrown around a lot.

Sometimes spirituality can sound serious. Like the word mindfulness. Maybe you imagine a room full of conscientious people, sitting and breathing in silence.

Other times it can sound airy-fairy, when people talk to angels, or leave food out for the little people.

For me, leading a “spiritual” life means committing to God but also to humanity.

A Love Contract? 4 Ways to Write One

A Love Contract? 4 Ways to Write One

 

I’d never really though about having a contract for an intimate relationship until I read an article in the New York Times about it.

At first, it seemed crazy to “formalize” love. But then I realized Mandy Len Catron's idea had merit. And, it reminded me that, in essence, my husband and I have this.

Well, not exactly.

We never created a written contract that we sign and annually review, like the one Mandy has. Instead, we have agreements or tenets that define our relationship.

Get Your Groove Back: 3 Easy Steps to Re-Awaken Creativity

Get Your Groove Back: 3 Easy Steps to Re-Awaken  Creativity

Stuck in a rut?

Feel like you’re creative juices have dried up?

Let’s face it. This happens to ALL of us especially if you have a deadline or are starting a fresh, new project.

But here’s the great news. It’s actually pretty easy to fan that flame.

Check out these 3 ways to get going again:

5 Secrets Successful People Know

5 Secrets Successful People Know

Have you ever asked yourself what success really means to you?

Look around. People hurry and rush, busy chasing someone else’s definition of success – be it a parent, society, or cultural expectation.

Isn't it time to define success for yourself?

Take a minute, well okay, maybe 20, and dive in.

Ask yourself:

3 Ways to Be More Mindful Every Day

3 Ways to Be More Mindful Every Day

Are you ready to feel more aware, caring and mindful?

Do you want to appreciate the spring flowers, savor that fresh cup of coffee, or be fully present with others?

Instead, you find yourself distracted in the moment, either internally by the cascading river of thoughts, or externally by demands from traffic, job, family, smartphone… in other words, the chaos of life.

What if there was a way to step into the silence even if only for a moment?

Step Into Your Future: 3 Ways to Manifest Exactly What You Want

Step Into Your Future: 3 Ways to Manifest Exactly What You Want

Last weekend I attended a writer’s conference. There were classes and opportunities to network but most importantly, I got to pitch my book to potential agents.

Before I went, I was kind of nervous.

I had never done anything like that before.

What if none of the agents were interested?

Even when we want something to happen, dream about it, and vision it, we can be afraid when we’re looking right at it.

Which is why I found the guidance from a recent meditation so helpful. My anxiety was swirling when I heard a very distinctive voice. She cut right through the chaos and said, “Step into your future. The door is right there, in front of you.”

Procrastinate Tomorrow: 5 Ways To Push Through

Procrastinate Tomorrow: 5 Ways To Push Through

For many of us, procrastination feels like the bane of our existence.

It’s the voice saying, “I know I should be…,” the project you just don’t have time for, or the dream going unfulfilled.

I used to procrastinate with everything. I’d drag my feet, wait until the last minute, freak out and then just before the deadline, get it done. But after awhile, I realized that my pattern was causing me so much stress. I hated feeling the pressure and tension.

That’s when I decided to make some adjustments in how I approached my life. And here’s what I found most useful:

Shift Your Life With Mantra

Shift Your Life With Mantra

Feel like your life needs a shift?

Have you considered trying mantra?

A mantra is a word or phrase that, according to Yogic philosophy (Vedanta), has power. The story is that the ancient sages, (Rishi) could hear the vibrations of everything in nature and made these sounds into words and phrases known as mantra. Mantra is the literal creation of form from energy.

Feel It & Heal It: 5 Steps to Transform Pain

Feel It & Heal It: 5 Steps to Transform Pain

I was 15 years old the first time I consciously felt anxiety and had just started my sophomore year at a new boarding school. The souring in my stomach and the fear that blinded me was terrifying. So I bolted down the stairs of my dorm, and headed straight to the vending machines. I wanted to push away and bury all that anxiety and uncertainty.

By October, I’d gained twenty pounds because I didn’t know how to deal with dark emotions like: discomfort, anxiety, pain, anguish, frustration, resentment…

It took me 10 years to learn how to be present and experience these uncomfortable feelings.

Now when they come up, do I like it? Not really.