Shakti Sutriasa
How to Really Change the World

You know that expression, “wherever you go, there you are.”?

I was thinking about that the other morning.

If you’re like me, you want to world to be a better place, more loving, peaceful, sane.

But what if the real way to succeed at changing the world isn’t by going out and tangibly changing the politics, or environment but is all about changing yourself? In other words, changing your mind about the world.

This is what I think the above quote actually means.

How to Really Change the World
Shakti Sutriasa
How Porous Are Your Boundaries?

Boundaries often get a bad rap, as if they’re not a good thing, as if they prevent us from genuine connection.

Is that really true?

First off, let’s define what we’re really talking about.

A boundary can be physical like a fence or a wall, even your skin is a natural physical boundary.

Boundaries can also be set by social or cultural standards. For example, in Japan, people greet one another with a bow, rather than in the United States where we often shake hands or hug.

Boundaries – in terms of dictating behavior- also differ in public versus private spaces, and vary depending on the types of relationship you have with someone.

How Porous Are Your Boundaries?
Shakti Sutriasa
Feel the Presence of God with You Always

When you were a child, did you have an imaginary friend? Someone you held tea parties with, read to in bed, played hide and seek with, or blamed for the mess in your room?

According to WebMD, around 65% of children under the age of seven have them, so if you did, you’re in the majority!

Naturally, there are social and emotional reasons that children have imaginary friends. It’s good company. It’s also a way to try out new social behaviors, or process feelings. An imaginary friend can offer support, too. After all, it’s YOUR special friend, someone who loves you, won’t leave, and doesn’t judge.

Feel the Presence of God with You Always
Shakti Sutriasa
The Key to Having a Lasting Romantic ...

February is the month for lovers, for love, for reminding us of what our hearts yearn for.

Are you like me? Have you always been a romantic, from the time you were little?

I completely bought into the fantasy. You know it, right? Get rescued from your unhappy situation when you meet the love of your dreams, and live happily ever after.

As part this, I was HOOKED on the idea of falling in love even though I had NO idea of what love actually was.

I harbored this romantic dream for years.

The Key to Having a Lasting Romantic Relationship
Shakti Sutriasa
The Tarot Card Influencing 2024

Last year my daughter turned me onto this idea that there is a Major Arcana Tarot card that informs the overarching energy of the year.

One way to think about this is as the TONE for the year on a global scale, reflecting the energy that might be arising.

It’s actually quite simple to learn which tarot card it is for the year. Simply add the numbers of the year together. So, for this year it would be: 2+0+2+4=8

The Card that correlates with the number 8 is STRENGTH.

Immediately that feels heartening, don’t you think? As if it is inviting us to call on our own inner strength, knowing that it’s there for us always. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to cultivate strength even more since we may need this quality as 2024 unfolds.

The Tarot Card Influencing 2024

self help

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5 Ideas for Managing This Anxious World

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5 Ideas for Managing This Anxious World

Worried about the next snowstorm hitting your city or that your flight will be delayed? You’re not alone. In fact, every single one of us experiences anxiety. But when we constantly avoid socializing, excessively sweat before a presentation or are unable to sleep because our minds won’t stop, then anxiety may be taking us over.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 40 million Americans or 18% of our population is suffering from this level of anxiety making it the top mental illness diagnosis. Anxiety is clearly the malady of our modern day life.

What Exactly is Anxiety?

Anxiety, as I mentioned earlier, is a normal human response to uncertainty and we experience it often in our lives at work, in school (such as before tests), when we make decisions or if something unexpected arises.

Anxiety becomes a problem when our feelings and thoughts prevent action or cause symptoms that render us unable to cope. These include constant worry, panic, fear and apprehension. There can also be physical symptoms such as sweating, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, and restlessness.

Why Are We So Anxious?

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3 Reasons Why Lying Doesn’t Work in Relationships

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3 Reasons Why Lying Doesn’t Work in Relationships

I read an article over the weekend in which the author encouraged us to lie, especially to our loved ones. I had to re-read his words because I could not believe it. His premise was that in order to keep the peace, we lie to one another and not reveal our true thoughts.

One of his arguments was that we can’t always say exactly what we’re thinking.

At times we have to be mindful and discerning about how we speak to people. 

This isn’t lying – it’s phrasing things so that another can more easily hear it. After all, none of us enjoy being criticized or put down. And those forms of communication are totally ineffective anyway. So instead of saying to my friend, “you don’t do anything anyway so why not.” I might re-phrase it to “you have the time since you don’t have a lot of commitments.”

Even after finishing the article I was far from convinced of the merits of lying. In fact, I think the opposite is true. In all relationships, and especially love ones, we need honesty.

Am I alone in thinking this?

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What’s Motivating You?

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What’s Motivating You?

How do I get motivated?

Motivation or why we do things is super interesting to me.

I’ve spent a lot of time and energy researching it because I’ve wanted to inspire and motivate – in the classroom, with my clients and with myself.

Recently I was watching Tony Robbins do a Ted Talk. In it, he identified 6 key factors that motivate human behavior. 

They are: certainty, uncertainty (or variety), significance, love/connection, growth and contribution.

His 6 characteristics allow us to dig a little deeper into motivation and get into the why behind it.

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Are Your Beliefs Holding You Back?

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Are Your Beliefs Holding You Back?

Since it’s the middle of January I’ve still got resolutions on my mind. Last week I wrote about turning those resolutions into goals and then taking action by identifying the: what, why, how and when. If you need help with that, download my FREE Goals and Action Step worksheets at :

But if you’ve already done that and are still struggling to get going, it may be time to dig a little deeper and uncover any negative beliefs that might be getting in your way.

What is a belief?

In the simplest definition, a belief is an idea or concept that we believe is true about ourselves, others or the world at large.

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Nail Your New Year’s Resolutions In 4 Easy Steps

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Nail Your New Year’s Resolutions In 4 Easy Steps

On some level, I think all of us dread one thing about the New Year… resolutions. What we think is lofty or even good for us can soon feel obligatory and for some, even oppressive.

This is why I’ve taken a new attitude on the resolution. We all know that it’s easy after a few glasses of champagne on December 31st to make loads of promises we may or may not keep, right?

So here’s my idea: Turn those resolutions into goals and create some action steps using this
 

4-Step Process.

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Time to Manifest! Make A 2015 Vision Board

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Time to Manifest! Make A 2015 Vision Board

For the past several years, our family has had a New Year’s tradition. We decided to make our own, because- here's my confession- I always hated New Year’s Eve. From the time I was a teenager, my sister and I would look at each other mystified. All everyone seemed to do was get drunk and then watch a stupid ball drop. What was the big deal?

So a few years ago, we modified our evening to make it work for us. As a family, we enjoy a celebratory meal, something special, because it is a holiday after all. We even have a bottle of champagne or Prosecco along with sparkling apple cider, (known in our house as kids champagne.) After our leisurely meal, we all gather in the living room and get to work making… vision boards.

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What’s Your One Word for 2015?

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What’s Your One Word for 2015?

Last year, right after 2014 had just begun, I was listening to Dr. Robert Holden on Hay House radio. He shared an idea he’d been doing for awhile of choosing one word for his new year. Then he would meditate on it, delve into it, and explore it for the next 365 days.

Inspired, I decided to do the same, choose one word for the year.

My word for 2014 has been trust.

Over the past twelve months, I’ve allowed myself to simply be with this word and see what happens. At one point, around March, I had a serious crisis with trust. I became super afraid of the future, and about what might happen. That experience invited me to go deeper with trust and prompted me to create a visual representation to both remind and inspire me to open up more to trust.

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3 Strategies for Negotiating Divorce, Children & the Holidays with Compassion

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3 Strategies for Negotiating Divorce, Children & the Holidays with Compassion

The holidays, for all that we look forward to them, can also bring out stress, tension and emotional tests. And when we add divorce into the mix, things can get even more challenging.

My parents split up when I was a young girl and although I looked forward to presents and special holiday treats, underneath that excitement was always a layer of sadness. Because I knew that one of my parents would be spending the holidays alone.

That knowledge made my heart hurt.

These days I observe my own children navigating a similar landscape. I watch as they jockey between houses and allegiances. It seems even more complicated than when I was little. Do my girls spend time with my created family, their stepsister and our extended relatives or go to their Dad’s and be with their half brothers and stepmom?

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Feeling Afraid? Try Acknowledging It

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Feeling Afraid? Try Acknowledging It

When I was in my early 20s, I was offered a job in sales and design for a manufacturer in Hong Kong. My office was in a factory located in an industrialized and severely polluted part of the territories. After arriving and settling in, I quickly realized that it wasn’t the job for me. They hardly had anything for me to do and had hired me primarily as a favor to my mother. Every day I sat at my desk in a windowless room pretending to work. It was pretty awful.

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Finding Peace Amidst Crazy

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Finding Peace Amidst Crazy

It’s really easy to get sucked into busy. I watch people race around corners, speed talk into their phones, order lunch while texting. And I confess, I’ve been addicted to busy too.

Not long ago I was a single mom of two, and then started a business. If that wasn’t enough, a few years after that I went back to school and then… Yes, the list continues but not for long because soon I’d blown my adrenals; too much stress.

Guess what that felt like? Like having a constant panic attack. Instead of feeling no energy, I felt even more anxious, stressed out and crazed. Fortunately, I had a health practitioner who diagnosed it and I didn’t end up on anti-anxiety medication, just adrenal supplements. Almost immediately I felt calmer.

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A Life Lesson from my 14-Year Old

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A Life Lesson from my 14-Year Old

Last week my 14-year old was being just that, a 14-year old. When I’d ask a question, I’d get a grunt or if I was lucky a one word answer. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t about me but as the days wore on and the behavior stayed the same I watched my tolerance expire.

Finally, I just couldn’t take it anymore.

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Who Are You?

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Who Are You?

In the last 40+ years I’ve asked myself this question, "Who Am I?" countless times. Sometimes when I hear it I see the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, smoking his hookah and looking sagely down at Alice. He pointedly and stiltedly inquires, “whoooo are youuuuu?”

Sometimes I hear Roger Daltrey’s voice belting it out “tell me who, who, who are you...”

When you’re asked, "who are you?" what’s the answer?

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You Said NOTHING?

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You Said NOTHING?

Sometimes life can feel like an endless To Do List. This weekend, while I contemplated relaxing, got eaten up instead with household chores, entertaining and childcare.

Suddenly it's Monday again! The have-tos start as soon as the alarm goes off and the week can easily be absorbed with task fulfillment and checked boxes.

When this happens, my life begins to feel like a treadmill.

I walk, run, sprint but am on this endless go round. That’s when a little thought enters my mind and suggests it might be time to stop and do... nothing.

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Don’t Let Time Pass You By

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Don’t Let Time Pass You By

As most of you know, I’m teaching a happiness workshop this fall. In fact, it started last night and we'll be meeting together, exploring what happiness means to us for the next 8 weeks. I am thrilled to be on this adventure!

For the past couple of months leading up to last night I spent a lot of time reading and researching to see what the “experts” can tell us about happiness. One of the books I came upon is called, The Happiness Project written by Gretchen Rubin. In it she describes how she spent a year doing a research project in her life, planning various activities and behavior shifts each month to increase her level of happiness.

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Who Just Said That?

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Who Just Said That?

Lately I've been hearing people talking about their anxiety. One man I know can't stop thinking about his health. He recently had a check up and was told he has high blood pressure. Now he can't stop thinking about the blood pumping through his body. His thoughts make him fearful and anxious, that he's going to have a heart attack or stroke at any moment. Then a pregnant woman mentioned almost the same thing. Even though this isn't her first child, she's finding herself fixated on the future pain and all of the awful complications that could happen despite the fact that she's already had near perfect birthing experiences.

So what is this?