Embrace These Days of Awe
We are in the midst of the Days of Awe as they are known to all of our Jewish brothers and sisters. This 10-day period commences with Rosh Hashanah and ends on Yom Kippur.
This is the Jewish New Year and as such is a deep time of reflection, a turning within, as we shed the old year and turn to look at the new.
One of the main themes of the Days of Awe is the idea of atonement.
Apart from the name of a well-known book and film, what does this actually mean?
We are in the midst of the Days of Awe as they are known to all of our Jewish brothers and sisters. This 10-day period commences with Rosh Hashanah and ends on Yom Kippur.
This is the Jewish New Year and as such is a deep time of reflection, a turning within, as we shed the old year and turn to look at the new.
One of the main themes of the Days of Awe is the idea of atonement.
Apart from the name of a well-known book and film, what does this actually mean?
In the Jewish tradition, atonement is an act of reconciliation, the desire to make amends or reparations for a wrong-doing. This is a time to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
Jews believe that God has a book in which s/he is writing down all your good and bad deeds. This is done during the Days of Awe, so if you are willing to seek forgiveness, God may look favorably upon you.
In Christianity, we also see this word, atonement.
It largely refers to the idea of reconciliation with God. In the Christian concept, man has sinned (think Adam and Eve) and it was Jesus who sacrificed (and was resurrected) that atoned for the sins of the world. This act cleaned the slate and made everything right again with God.
But it is the definition found in A Course in Miracles that I most resonate with.
Here, atonement means to undo erroneous thinking.
This is because we have forgotten who we really are. We falsely believe that we are separate – a body and an ego - and not spirit. We think that we are distinct and apart from God. But the truth is that we are all spirit. Our true relationship is – that we are not separate from God. In other words, at-one-ment.
“You are the work of God, and His work is wholly loveable and wholly loving. This is how a man must think of himself in his heart, because this is what he is.” (ACIM, p.9)
Embrace this idea and see yourself as inherently loveable AND loving.
Atonement is the act of forgiving - both oneself and others. As it says in A Course in Miracles, “the forgiven are the means of atonement.” We forgive ourselves because we have forgotten who we truly are and we forgive all of our brothers and sisters for the same reason.
Have fun with this! Embrace these Days of Awe. Seek to forgive and start your new year fresh and free. And always remember your true nature, divine, perfect and at-one with God.
Let me know how it goes! Feel free to leave a comment below.
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5 Tips for Manifesting the Life of Your Dreams
We all have dreams and plans for how we want our life to be.
I'm sure you’ve laid in bed and fantasized about sailing the Caribbean, being married to your ideal partner, living in a ski in/ski out house on the mountain... having a passionate, full life.
Right?
So the question then is ~ How do you take that dream and manifest it?
We all have dreams and plans for how we want our life to be.
I'm sure you’ve laid in bed and fantasized about sailing the Caribbean, being married to your ideal partner, living in a ski in/ski out house on the mountain... having a passionate, full life.
Right?
So the question then is ~ How do you take that dream and manifest it?
Turns out, it’s actually really simple.
Don’t believe me? Keep reading.
In only 3 steps you can take your life from dull and mediocre to inspiring and fulfilling.
Ready?
1. Vision / Intention
The first step is to get really, really clear about exactly what you want. Many of us kind of know what we want but haven’t spent the time to actually flesh it out.
Ask yourself:
- What’s my dream life?
- How do I want my life to be?
- Think about this from every aspect of your life, like:
- Job/career
- Money
- Relationship
- Family
- Fun time
- Vacation
- Spirituality
- Creativity
- Health
- Recreation
- Exercise
- Think about this from every aspect of your life, like:
- How do I want to feel?
- Now think about how you want to feel once you've achieved your ideal lifestyle. Maybe emotions such as: exhilarated, inspired, satisfied… This is a KEY piece because you don't want to be a millionaire who's always stressed about finance, do you?
2. Repetition / Attention
Once you’ve allowed yourself to vision, be sure to write it all down in vivid detail.
Write it as if everything has already happened.
Here’s an example of how to get started:
“I am so grateful that I live in this amazing 2 bedroom apartment overlooking the Hudson River, that I run my successful health and wellness business that provides me with $10,000 /month in revenue for the twenty hours a week I work, that I have highly skilled support, that I share my life with (name) and our relationship is deep and fulfilling, that I feel so excited every day when I wake up…”
Put your written vision statement in a place (maybe next to your bed) where you can read it both in the morning and at night before you go to sleep.
Do this every day.
Be sure to read your vision with passion.
3. Relax and Enjoy
Once you put your intention and vision out in the Universe, get ready to enjoy the ride!
Because here’s the thing: we co-create our world with Source, God, One-ness, the Universe. And that means everything will unfold – we just can’t exactly control when or how.
For many of us recovering control freaks, this can feel scary.
The other two steps (1 & 2) are easy. They’re do-able tasks that can be completed.
This third step involves a leap of faith.
Put your dream out there, focus on it with your attention but try not to get uptight about it. Instead, see if you can allow yourself to enjoy the journey and watch the mystery unfold.
It’s magical.
If you follow these 3 simple steps, you can manifest your deepest dreams and desires and truly transform your life.
Are you ready?
Share your dreams with me!
Leave a comment below with ONE thing you want for yourself. That way, I can help hold the space for you!
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The Magical Breath
Did you know that the breath is the single best way to connect your mind, body, and spirit?
Cool or what?
In the ancient tradition of yoga, there is a practice called pranayama.
Prana is a Sanskrit word that means life force.
Yogi Bhajan said “Prana is the most powerful and most creative thing God ever created, because out of prana came life.”
Prana is evidenced every moment by the breath.
Did you know that the breath is the single best way to connect your mind, body, and spirit?
Cool or what?
In the ancient tradition of yoga, there is a practice called pranayama.
Prana is a Sanskrit word that means life force.
Yogi Bhajan said “Prana is the most powerful and most creative thing God ever created, because out of prana came life.”
Prana is evidenced every moment by the breath.
Think about it. Whenever there’s a scene in a movie where a person looks possibly dead, what’s checked? Someone leans over the still body to see if she is still breathing.
Life force is inextricably linked to the breath.
The Sanskrit word yama means to control or restrain. It is also the negative form of ayama, to extend or stretch.
Thus, pranayama is the control of life force and the ability to consciously extend and manipulate the breath. And practicing Pranayama is the doing of conscious breathing exercises. (I’ll send you a new one each month. This is September’s.)
If your goal is to lead a conscious life, you have to embrace the breath.
Here is what you can expect when you do these breathing exercises:
1. Feel Radiantly Healthy
Every cell, organ, gland, tissue and muscle in your body needs oxygen. This is why we are all encouraged to do cardio- exercise.
Breathing does this too.
When we regularly oxygenate our systems, we help them run at their potential. Then they can more easily fight off illness and help us reduce and even eliminate stress.
Imagine living with increased vitality! That would mean having an abundant amount of energy.
Doesn't that sound great?
2. Control Your Mind
Your mind essentially regulates what you think, feel, perceive and experience.
Have you ever had a moment when you were really panicked about something? You're heart was beating wildly in your chest, your mind flying around, unable to concentrate because the anxiety and tension had you in its grip?
The fastest way to come out of this is a nice deep breath.
That inhalation brings you back to the moment, helps you ground and center, and physically calms down the body.
Ancient Yogis have taught us that the mind is directly linked to prana (life force). So, if we control the prana, through increased awareness of the breath, we can control our minds.
This is how much power lies with the breath.
3. Make What Is Unconscious Conscious
Breathing with awareness helps us wake up.
Not just our physical bodies by energizing and oxygenating them, not just our minds by waking them from a stupor but it helps us tap into true awareness.
Breathing allows you to come fully into the moment and be 100% present.
The breath is the link between the mind, body and spirit and allows us to access and integrate all with mindfulness, presence and joy.
Become fully aware of your breathing today and enjoy better health, peace of mind, increased clarity and joy.
How is the breathing going for you? Leave a comment below. I'd love to know!
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Access Your Power Now
Letting go of old, limiting beliefs gives you power. It frees you up to be exactly who you want to be and live your truth, your light and love.
I was reminded again this morning.
As I was meditating, the words that came were, “as we release our samsara, we make room in our lives for the things we truly want.”
Samsara is a Sanskrit word that describes the cycle of life- from birth to death. This includes all the actions of our lives, the karma we accrue and bring forward into the next incarnation, etc.
I think about samsara, too, as the bodily goo that gets attached to us once we take form and become human. It’s the stuff- the emotions, relationships, duties, obligations, beliefs- that ground us in a physical form and ego.
Letting go of old, limiting beliefs gives you power. It frees you up to be exactly who you want to be and live your truth, your light and love.
I was reminded again this morning.
While I was meditating, the words that came were, “as we release our samsara, we make room in our lives for the things we truly want.”
Samsara is a Sanskrit word that describes the cycle of life- from birth to death. This includes all the actions of our lives, the karma we accrue and bring forward into the next incarnation, etc.
I think about samsara, too, as the bodily goo that gets attached to us once we take form and become human. It’s the stuff- the emotions, relationships, duties, obligations, beliefs- that ground us in a physical form and ego.
As we release the bonds – the limitations – we impose on ourselves, it frees us to move into our spirit selves and become truly who we are.
Here are a few tools to help you release that which you no longer want:
1. The Breath
Breathing is the most powerful tool in our repertoire. It has the ability to physically regulate our bodies, instantly reduce anxiety or tension as well as the ability to bring us directly into the moment.
In the moment, you are free. There is no judgment, no suffering, no past, no future.
The breath is the way we connect to the universal truth, to God, to source.
Use this tool for it will change your life.
To support you on your journey, each month I’ll send out a new breathing exercise for you to try.
Use it and see how your life unfolds. The breath helps you open up to your own inner knowing, to awareness.
2. Meditation & Prayer
These two go hand in hand for one is the asking and the other the receiving. Meditation is your time to relax and allow yourself to float in the river of love. It is the time to commune with your God and yourself in a place of refuge.
If you haven’t already downloaded some of my guided meditations, I invite you to access the kit now. Here
3. Psychotherapy/Coaching
Elizabeth Lesser, the founder of The Omega Institute, and author of Cracked Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, talks about the importance of therapy.
She writes about her own process of seeing how old patterns of behavior were keeping her stuck. She says, “What I learned in the safe and sacred room of my therapist’s office was that the same energy I was exerting to keep things from being revealed could be used for a far more exciting and rewarding struggle: to return my soul to my body, to return myself to myself. After that, anything would be possible.”
In essence, we have to heal ourselves, our egos and childhood wounds in order to open ourselves up to truly be vessels for truth, for God’s work, for love. To let the samsara go.
If you’re ready to release that which no longer serves you and claim your life, take advantage of my special Fall coaching special. It’s happening right now. Learn more
This is the work we are here to do – remember who we are.
It’s scary but it’s the journey of a life time and will awaken you to truly be the hero you are.
I'm here to help you every step along the way. Join me today!
3 Ways to Tackle Uncertainty
I had a revelation the other day.
It was about transformation.
Our souls yearn to evolve and change, to up-level, to reach our goals and manifest our visions.
Right?
So we go for it and jump into the trenches. We start working and making things happen.
And then they do.
I experienced this last week. I realized that for the majority of this year, 2016, I have focused on closing my old life and making this transition across the country.
My life change has not only involved a physical move but also closing my coaching practice in Florida and transitioning clients, saying goodbye to friends (and family) I’ve had for over a decade, letting go of routines and habits, releasing an entire lifestyle and everything that was familiar.
And here’s the trick, the one I am now face-to face with: to make something new and not re-create the old.
I had a revelation the other day.
It was about transformation.
Our souls yearn to evolve and change, to up-level, to reach our goals and manifest our visions.
Right?
So we go for it and jump into the trenches. We start working and making things happen.
And then they do.
I experienced this last week. I realized that for the majority of this year, 2016, I have focused on closing my old life and making this transition across the country.
My life change has not only involved a physical move but also closing my coaching practice in Florida and transitioning clients, saying goodbye to friends (and family) I’ve had for over a decade, letting go of routines and habits, releasing an entire lifestyle and everything that was familiar.
And here’s the trick, the one I am now face-to face with: to make something new and not re-create the old.
But to do this we must face uncertainty.
We all HATE uncertainty.
It’s the unknown, the great mystery, the void. And yet it is also the space of manifestation.
So, how do we weather this place? How do we stay true and focused even in fear?
Faith.
Faith has been defined as believing in something that isn’t there.
I see faith and trust as two sides of the same coin. It’s extending ourselves, putting YOU out there regardless.
So another way to look at this faith / uncertainty challenge is to think about it as: trust versus mistrust.
Erik Erikson created a theory that all humans experience stages of psychosocial development that span a life time. The first one of these is hope. This is the stage from birth to the age of two and encompasses the idea of trust versus mistrust.
Erikson believed that at each of these developmental stages, we pass a milestone and make a choice. This is the first one. Is the world trustworthy? Am I safe here or is the world a scary, unsafe place?
I hit against this – the uncertainty/faith or trust versus mistrust place last week when I realized that now- now that I am officially settled in- it was time to begin living in a new way. I successfully cleared away, finished and completed everything and now I was face to face with new.
Even though I was getting EXACTLY what I wanted, I felt scared.
Scared of the uncertainty, of the unknown. My husband reminded me that the remedy to this is faith and that got me thinking that uncertainty/faith is really the same as trust versus mistrust.
If you experienced any early trauma, you may struggle with this too. The scars – both physical and psychological- often create a lens through which to see the world and the people in it. We either view them as unsafe, not trustworthy or the world as safe, happy.
When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable about a shift in your life, about facing uncertainty ask: Am I seeing the world as a safe place or an unsafe place?
For me, growing up, the world felt incredibly unsafe. It was only through doing a lot of inner work that I came to the realization that I could change this. Now I choose to believe that the world is a safe place.
But every time we push against our limits and want to expand who we are, we can easily fall back into old patterns and fears. Just like I did last week.
So if you find yourself in a space like this, here are 3 tips to help you:
1. Remember that God loves you, and that you are divinely protected.
I often use the Louise Hay affirmation: “I am safe in the Universe and all of life loves and supports me.” If I’m feeling especially vulnerable, I’ll keep repeating it over and over again.
2. Keep holding on to your goal, vision, purpose.
Read it out loud every day. Speak your life into existence with emotion and mean it! I do this at the end of my meditation time but also when I go jogging. I run around saying my affirmations and vision! It’s so empowering.
3. Love the infant you.
Often when we face uncertainty, that little inner child who felt unsafe all those years ago comes out. Hold that part of you. Nurture her and let her know that you got her. She’s safe and protected now.
Keep moving towards your heart and soul’s desires and make them manifest. Use these 3 tools to stay on this path. And remember that there is always help – you are never alone.
Where are you in manifesting your life and visions?
Share your journey with me. I’d love to hear how I can support you in this magnificent adventure!
Leave a comment below the blog!
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Yes You Can!
When we decide to make a shift in our lives – be it a new job, relationship or home- there’s first the decision and then the doing.
Ready to make that shift in your life?
A new job, relationship or home?
Once you decide, things start to fall in place, a To-Do list or path becomes clear.
And yet, as you move closer to the actual shift, the change itself, new resistance and difficulties arise.
Here’s the trick: Don’t Quit!
Ready to make that shift in your life?
A new job, relationship or home?
Once you decide, things start to fall in place, a To-Do list or path becomes clear.
And yet, as you move closer to the actual shift, the change itself, new resistance and difficulties arise.
Here’s the trick: Don’t Quit!
The first time I heard about this was from Harv Eker.
He explained how you have to be willing to keep going towards your goals despite the obstacles. Often, there are a few and it’s only after you’ve attempted for the third time that you break through.
Sound familiar?
I experienced this exact thing when we made our move last month.
On the day the truck was at my house loading our belongings, I went to run a quick errand with my kids to pick up a piece of jewelry I’d designed and ordered. The pendant was a symbol of my “new” life so I was eager to get it prior to the actual transition.
About twenty minutes into the hour-long ride up I-95, we hit standstill traffic. There was a huge collision and the police were re-routing everyone off the highway. It took another two hours for us to get there.
Did I quit? No. Because I knew that this is how change is.
The next day we flew to Seattle. We had three checked bags, two carry-ons, three back packs, and our puppy dog. Since we had so much stuff and were arriving late at night, I reserved a rental car at the terminal.
Once we retrieved our luggage and piled it onto a metal cart, we followed the signs to the rental car area. This lead us out to the curb where over a hundred people were queued up, waiting for a shuttle bus to the rental car building.
Sometimes nothing feels easy.
And this is because of our egos.
When we are on the cusp of shifting, part of us gets scared – what if this change is bad? What if it hurts? What if it’s a mistake?
Despite the fact that it’s exactly what you want, your ego doesn’t really want to change – it always seeks to stay the same.
So it kicks up resistance when you least expect it, and obstacles get in the way.
The trick is to keep going anyway. Just like I did at the Seattle airport.
I took a deep breath, got on line and wheeled that buggy to the bus. Just as my husband boarded with the dog, and I was unloading our bags wondering how the he** I was going to manage it all, an airport supervisor showed up. He stopped everyone else from getting on and loaded my bags for me!
Thank you, God!
So the next time you feel like the change isn’t ever going to happen. That you’ll never get there, know that you will.
Remember that it always takes more effort than you think. It may even take three tries! Love yourself enough to know that you can do it and that you will succeed!
You’re so close!
Share where you are on YOUR path! Leave a comment below, I'd love to hear!
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5 Ways to Foster Resilience
Last month, a former student visited my husband at the K-8 school we founded in 2004. He came to catch up, say hi and share that he was moving to Chicago for college.
I call Shawn an angel boy and here's why.
When he first showed up eight years ago, he was a scrawny 4th grader who couldn’t read. He also seemed hyperactive and had had some discipline issues at his previous school.
His adopted mother met with us and essentially begged us to “take care of her son.”
She was already on hospice and knew she only had a few more weeks to live. She was determined to find him a place where he could be loved.
Last month a former student visited my husband at the K-8 school we founded in 2004. He came to catch up, say hi and share that he was moving to Chicago for college.
I call Shawn an angel boy and here's why.
When he first showed up eight years ago, he was a scrawny 4th grader who couldn’t read. He also seemed hyperactive and had discipline issues at his previous school.
His adopted mother met with us and essentially begged us to “take care of her son.”
She was already on hospice and knew she had only a few more weeks to live. She was determined to find him a place where he could be loved.
Shortly after Shawn started school, his mother died and his adult sister – a biological daughter- took him in. Most days an elderly man that Shawn referred to as Dad, picked him up. About a year into school, we learned that this man was dying of cancer, too.
How unfair for Shawn, I remember thinking, to be adopted and then lose both of those parents.
But nothing seemed to phase him.
Shawn came to school every day to learn. He worked hard, easily made friends and showed a compassion and empathy for the younger children that was clearly beyond his years. They all loved him.
He kept growing too, getting taller and lankier. In the five years he was with us, he learned how to read, write, did countless oral presentations, conquered math and science, built his self-confidence and graduated.
He went on to a rough high school.
But instead of partying or getting into drugs, he played football and focused on his course work. That perseverance earned him a scholarship to college where I know he will soar. All because he wants to.
He came back, he told my husband, to say thank you.
What is it that allows people to overcome so much adversity and thrive?
Why do some people, who are handed everything, sink into addiction, and others, who can’t seem to get a break, thrive?
I look at Shawn as one of those thrivers. That’s why I call him an angel child.
It’s like every awful thing that’s happened to him doesn’t touch the core of who he is. As if from an early age he simply knew that he was more than a family, more than a body, that he was here with a divine purpose.
He humbles and awes me.
Recently I heard of another woman who overcame tremendous adversity, Amy Purdy. Have you heard her Ted Talk?
She became ill with bacterial meningitis that caused her to go into a coma. She lost her spleen, kidneys and legs below the knees. Yet she went on to be a top performing athlete and was recently on Dancing With The Stars.
How can we foster resiliency to better weather adversity and life challenges?
Here are 5 Ways
1. Keep Your Eye On The Prize
In other words, vision what you want.
Set you intentions and goals and be relentless in your pursuit of them, not letting anything stop you. For Amy Purdy, that was snowboarding. Even lying in her hospital bed, she saw herself up on the slopes, felt the wind on her face and was relentless in that vision.
2. Persevere
Once you see your vision with absolute clarity, take action and don’t give up. It’s about fostering that spirit of determination, a willingness to do whatever it takes to get your goal.
Ask yourself, what’s the next thing I have to do?
3. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
When you stay focused on an intention or goal, let that be the overriding thought. If little things frustrate or obstruct you, simply move around them, knowing that you have a bigger plan. Don’t spend any time and energy concerned about the rejection letter, a missed tackle or a wipe out on the slopes.
4. Reframe
This is all about how we look at life.
Did you get fired because someone hates you or because it was time for you to move on and get a better paying job?
When we can look at the circumstances of our lives and feel like they are happening for us instead of to us, we move from feeling like a victim into being empowered.
Another way to think about this is how my teacher Ma Jaya used to say it. “If you don’t consume the world the world consumes you.”
5. Connect To The Eternal Part Of You
An important component to fostering resilience is to remember that you are a soul having a human experience.
In this place, it’s easier not to take the world so seriously, to not experience the pain so intensely. This is earth school.
The easiest way to connect to this part of yourself is through having a spiritual practice and doing meditation. Other ways are through yoga or doing service work. Where can you volunteer or help?
Nurturing resiliency in ourselves is a key to not just surviving in this world but thriving. It’s time for you to claim your life. Step into what it is you came here to do. Life’s waiting for you.
Can you relate?
Share ONE challenge you've overcome in your life and leave a comment below!
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Skydiving - A Lesson In Trust
About a month ago, I finally went skydiving!
I’d been flirting with the idea for 30 years but it just never happened.
And then I got scared.
Around the winter holidays, my daughter started bugging us to go skydiving as a family.
I reluctantly agreed and we scheduled to go in January. Our reservation repeatedly got canceled due to bad weather. My daughter returned to college and I was off the hook!
As the months ticked by, I began to realize that I had to face this fear.
About a month ago, I finally went skydiving!
I’d been flirting with the idea for 30 years but it just never happened.
And then I got scared.
Around the winter holidays, my daughter started bugging us to go skydiving as a family.
I reluctantly agreed and we scheduled to go in January. Our reservation repeatedly got canceled due to bad weather. My daughter returned to college and I was off the hook!
As the months ticked by, I began to realize that I had to face this fear.
Could I jump out of an airplane and be present instead of feeling paralyzed?
By May, I was ready. My daughter came home again and this time, the weather cooperated.
It was a beautiful spring morning. We got to the airport hangar and began filling out pages of liability forms. I voluntarily signed my life away. Then they strapped me into a tandem harness and we all crawled into the plane.
I was determined to be fully present.
My instructor was knowledgeable and super easy going which helped me relax even more.
The plane took off and flew over the Indian River Lagoon, Sebastian Inlet and the central east coast of Florida. As I took in the gorgeous panorama, I realized that I had nothing to do. I was simply along for the ride. My only job was to enjoy.
I was the first one out of the plane.
I jumped and screamed until I remembered that it didn’t feel like I was falling. I stopped shouting and inhaled comfortably thorough my nose. I relaxed and lengthened my body into a “banana” as my instructor had told me. He tapped my shoulder and I opened my arms.
I looked up and around. The wind pummeled my face and body as we continued our free fall.
Before I new it, the parachute opened and we were floating in silence. “Welcome to my office,” I heard from behind me. I smiled. It was an exquisite view.
“I’m just going to loosen these straps around your arms.”
“No!” Even though the straps were cutting into me, I immediately feared I’d fall out.
“It’s okay,” he replied, his voice even and calm as he pulled the tabs.
Nothing happened and my chest and arms were much more comfortable.
Then he said he was going to do it for my legs.
Again I panicked. “I’m fine.” I replied, not caring that the straps were practically cutting off my circulation.
“I’m supposed to,” he answered.
My instinct was to pivot around, grab him and hold on. I was afraid that somehow the straps would fail and I’d plummet to the ground.
Again, nothing happened except that my legs felt so much better.
After floating a bit longer, he offered to let me hold on to the parachute handles.
“That’s okay,” I said. Again afraid something would go wrong.
Soon he was instructing me on how to land and the entire experience was over.
I’d done it.
Later, while talking about our respective jumps with my family, I realized that I was still scared. And what came up was my lack of trust.
- Trusting that the harness would support me.
- Trusting that the instructor really knew what he’s doing.
- Trusting that I was really safe in the Universe.
- Trusting that I wouldn’t die.
I’ve come a long way with my relationship with trust. I used to trust no one. I couldn’t even relax and let go while I meditated.
Now I trust people, situations, and God but certain things still trigger me. And that’s when I realize I have more work to do.
How can I really believe that I am safe?
When I reflect back on my life, I have always been provided for and protected. And skydiving was exactly the same. Nothing happened. I was perfectly safe and comfortable.
So really, it’s just an old mind habit.
If you feel it come up for you try these great reminders:
1. Breathe
Inhale and come into the present moment.
After I jumped out of the plane and was initially frozen, I came back to awareness and realized I was not even experiencing a dropping sensation. Then I could breathe, relax and enjoy.
2. Use an Affirmation
One of my all time favorites is from Louise Hay. “I am safe in the Universe and all of life loves and supports me.” This was all I had to say to myself as my straps got loosened, right?
3. Keep Pushing Through the Fear
For decades I wouldn’t even try skydiving because I was scared something bad might happen. But for years, I lived so close to the airport in Sebastian that I could hear parachutes opening above me all day long. And they were safe. So I finally just had to walk myself through the irrational belief.
You are always bigger than your fear.
One of the reminders on my vision board is this: Be brave! I pass those words on to you.
Whatever it is that feels like it’s holding you back, it’s really just you. Jump in and do it anyway. And let me know how it goes! Tell me ONE thing you’ll do to push through your fear! Leave me a comment below! I’ll see you there.
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Love: The Antidote to Tragedy
know I’m not alone in feeling despondent about the tragic and brutal murder of 49 innocent people on Sunday morning in Orlando.
For two days I was in denial about it. I just didn’t want to feel it, believe it was real. That someone could voluntarily harm innocent people right here in my own back yard.
And yet daily, the news is filled with stories like this. Of violence in every country, and city, affecting all walks of life.
So how, as sensitive, loving people, do we face tragedy and not shy away, give up or become hostile?
Love.
I know I’m not alone in feeling despondent about the tragic and brutal murder of 49 innocent people on Sunday morning in Orlando.
For two days I was in denial about it. I just didn’t want to feel it, believe it was real, that someone could voluntarily harm innocent people right here in my own back yard.
And yet daily, the news is filled with stories like this - of violence in every country, and city, affecting all walks of life.
So how, as sensitive, loving people, do we face tragedy and not shy away, give up or become hostile?
Love.
Every day I pray for peace. I pray that our world will shift from a paradigm of fear and lack to one of unlimited abundance and unconditional love.
I know I’m not alone. I know that most of us want that too.
We, the silent majority, want a life of peace.
We not only accept but embrace each other for our differences. We celebrate diversity – in all its varied forms- as part of the glorious manifestation of life.
And yet when tragedy hits, it’s easy to become scared, silent, stay at home, hunker down.
But how can love win if we all hide?
Instead, each one of us has an obligation to act in love.
What can we do?
1. Stand Up
Many cities have already organized marches and other events. Check out what’s happening in your area both civically and at local places of faith. See how you can get involved.
Where I am, there is an interfaith service and candle light vigil. I currently live 90 miles from Orlando so my community has been hit hard.
2. Speak Up
We need to fight for sane, common sense gun laws. How many innocent lives must be lost before we, as a country, finally say enough?
Sign a petition, or even better, call your local representative.
Tell him or her that it’s time we end this cycle of violence, time to terminate loop holes that allow people who are mentally unstable or are known to have associated with terrorist groups to legally purchase semi-automatic weapons.
You have more power than you realize. And believe it or not, politicians actually work for you. Let them know that this needs to stop NOW.
3. Lead by Example
Many of us who are parents wonder how to explain hatred and violence. Lately it feels like life just gets more insane. But then I have to remind myself of other times, when life was filled with uncertainty and chaos.
Embody love, tolerance and acceptance.
How can you show your compassion and kindness today?
Children learn best through example. So instead of despairing or saying, "that’s the way it is and we can’t do anything," take a stand. Bring your kids to a march, a vigil or let them know that you are calling on congress to make changes.
Be empowered and your children will too. This way, love will win.
4. Pray
I invite you to join me to pray for peace not only in your country but across the world.
May all sentient beings be free from suffering, and have adequate food, clothing, shelter and habitat. May we shift from a paradigm of fear and lack to one of love, abundance, acceptance and sustainability.
Envision the world as whole and healed. All of life is thriving in a safe, loving and pollution free world.
Here is a link to help you take action.
Let me know what you're planning on doing. Leave a comment below and share how love WILL win!
Join our community where love thrives.
Quit the Diet and Eat Mindfully: 5 Ways to Start Today
We all know diets don’t work. So why do we keep doing them?
Study after study proves people who diet gain back all the weight they lost and often gain even more. Now even neuroscience is confirming this.
Diets are a form of deprivation that our brains respond to by thinking we are starving and then slowing our metabolism rates which is why we plateau and don’t lose more weight.
I stopped dieting over twenty years ago.
We all know diets don’t work. So why do we keep doing them?
Study after study proves people who diet gain back all the weight they lost and often gain even more. Now even neuroscience is confirming this.
Diets are a form of deprivation that our brains respond to by thinking we are starving and then slowing our metabolism rates which is why we plateau and don’t lose more weight.
I stopped dieting over twenty years ago.
In fact, I never even weigh myself. For most of my childhood, adolescence and into my twenties, I was an emotional binge eater. Whenever I felt anxiety, fear, stress or depression, I ate.
Throughout those years, I dieted almost non-stop and often did punishing exercise routines. My weight constantly fluctuated, mostly upwards. I weighed anywhere between thirty to fifty pounds more than I do now.
When I decided to stop dieting, I was faced with redefining my relationship with food. That was the only way I was going to heal myself.
And I did that by learning how to eat mindfully.
If, like me, you’ve realized that diets don’t work and it’s time to create a new relationship with food, here are 5 ways to get started today.
1. Ground Into Your Body
Allow yourself to experience your physical self. I know this may be scary. For me, my body was the enemy – fat and embarrassing. I pretended it didn’t exist. Yet it did. I was walking around in it everyday.
Allow your awareness to come down into your body. Feel it. Be in it. Breathe love into your physical body and ground yourself in the here and now.
2. Check In
Once you’ve come down from your thoughts and feelings and into your physical body, ask yourself: Am I actually feeling physically hungry or do I just want to eat?
I used to eat so I didn’t have to feel negative emotions or deal with the stress of life.
As you check in, you are able to respond rather than react.
Maybe you aren’t really hungry but feel totally paralyzed with fear about what’s on the To-Do List. What can you do instead of eating?
Often, I go for a walk, talk to a friend, do artwork or take action of some kind.
3. Slow Down
After you’ve checked in with your body and discovered that you really are physically hungry, the next question is: What do I want to eat? What does my body need?
When you’ve decided what that is and have it ready, sit down.
Inhale the aroma. Take a bite and savor it.
Focus only on eating and allow yourself to be fully present, no distractions. No videos, movies, TV, social media or email. Take your time and fully enjoy this moment of eating.
4. Thoughts
Pay attention to your thoughts while you’re eating. What are you saying to yourself? Are they kind words or unkind ones? Is the food pushing away fearful thoughts or are you congratulating yourself?
Allow yourself to hear those words – good or bad. Hearing them is the first step in healing them.
5. Judgment
Now that you’ve become aware of your thoughts, start keeping track. How many of them are judgments?
Things like: I can’t believe how fast I ate. I looked so bad on those pants. What’s wrong with me that I have this problem?
What steps could you take to stop judging yourself? What might that sound like instead?
Maybe the absence of judgment is silence or positive statements. Words such as: good job waiting until you were hungry to eat. Way to go on completing that project that was stressing you out. Your hair looks pretty today.
Judgment only hurts.
Mindfulness is about being in this moment, and allowing yourself to be fully present. Even if there is anxiety or discomfort. That means being in our bodies and in our heads, becoming like thought gardeners, vigilantly weeding out the negative ones.
Paying attention to your body and mind is the key to healthy eating habits, a positive mindset and a happy life. Use these tools and you’ll be well on your way to healing and health.
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How To Get What You Really Desire
One of the best life lessons I ever learned was from Mike Dooley. He is the author of many inspirational books, published in 25 languages and offers a daily email service called Notes from the Universe which can be found on his website, TUT.com.
In these daily emails, Dooley is constantly reminding us that our only job is to focus on the what.
What?
No, this isn’t an Abbott & Costello routine. I’m not about to ask who’s on first.
This is a real-life truth.
One of the best life lessons I ever learned was from Mike Dooley. He is the author of many inspirational books, published in 25 languages and offers a daily email service called Notes from the Universe which can be found on his website, TUT.com.
In these daily emails, Dooley is constantly reminding us that our only job is to focus on the what.
What?
No, this isn’t an Abbott & Costello routine. I’m not about to ask who’s on first.
This is a real-life truth.
Here’s how it works. When you think about your life- vision your future, focus on it and set intentions- ask yourself this ONE question:
What do I want?
Your heart knows.
Maybe it's to be a mother, an artist, a filmmaker, storyteller, designer, teacher, coder, engineer.
Whatever it is that you really want, allow that to be your focus.
Be as detailed as possible. Paint the picture, See it, feel it, imagine it, act as if it has already occurred.
Yes, you are now driving that red Tesla. How does it feel? I see you with a gorgeous baby in your arms. What’s that like? You’re living in a gracious new home, satisfied? Is that you, holding your award winning jewelry design? Are you proud?
Look, your bank account has over a million dollars from your incredible computer skills! And that best selling book – well, it’s right there, on Amazon’s home page!
Really see it, then feel it and believe it.
Don’t worry about how it’s going to occur.
As Mike Dooley says, that’s God’s job. (If you’re uncomfortable with the word God, use: the Universe, source or any name you prefer.)
So often we forget.
We decide what we want and then go about trying to figure out when and how it’s going to happen.
But here’s the thing. We only see our little piece of the puzzle. We don’t get to view the master plan. There is no way we can anticipate the hundreds of things that can happen. All of these unseen moving parts are simply not in our awareness right now.
This is why it’s impossible for us to control the how – even when we want to, even when we feel the need to, even when we are doing it.
When you find yourself trying to create a specific outcome, that’s when you have to come back to remembering.
The WHAT is my job and the HOW is God’s job.
Sometimes the most profound life lessons seem so simple and that’s when we want to complicate them.
Don’t.
Simply focus on your job – asking the question – What do I want?
The next time doubt floods your mind or anxiety takes the reins and you feel like your dream will never come to fruition, come back to this reminder. Focus only on what you want. Your job is to figure out EXACTLY what you desire.
Be like a laser – see it happening, feel the pride, satisfaction and relief from that incredible accomplishment. And know that the Universe/God/source has your back. It’s all going to happen.
Tell me what you really want! Let us help to hold the vision for you!
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Set Yourself Free: 2 Great Tools To Forgive
There are a lot of misconceptions about forgiveness.
People often think if they forgive, then it excuses behavior or absolves someone. But that isn’t true. Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting
When I hold on to resentment, anger or a grievance, who is suffering? I am. Because I feel it. Maybe the person with whom I have a conflict isn’t even aware of how I feel. Perhaps s/he doesn’t even know they’ve slighted me.
Forgiveness is an act of generosity. You are willing to let go of a wrong, release a past hurt, release an unmet expectation.
Holding on to a grievance keeps us stuck in the past and feeling like a victim. Instead, if we come from a place of love, forgiveness can set us free, allows us to live in the present and opens us up to joy.
There are a lot of misconceptions about forgiveness.
People often think if they forgive, then it excuses behavior or absolves someone. But that isn’t true. Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting
When I hold on to resentment, anger or a grievance, who suffers? I do. I feel it. Maybe the person with whom I have a conflict isn’t even aware of how I feel. Perhaps they don’t even know they’ve slighted me.
Forgiveness is an act of generosity. It is the willingness to let go of a wrong, release a past hurt or an unmet expectation.
Holding on to a grievance keeps us stuck in the past and feeling like a victim. Instead, if we come from a place of love, forgiveness can set us free, allow us to live in the present and open up to joy.
When we're on a spiritual path, we choose to lead from the heart and not the head.
We want to be loving, kind, generous and magnanimous. If we hold anger, resentment or unresolved feelings, it prevents us from accessing that place of compassion and empathy.
On a soul level, we forgive because we know that duality doesn’t really exist. There is ultimately no separation between you and me.
We are all one. So as I forgive, I heal myself.
When you decide to come from a place of love, the next question is how.
Forgiveness.
If you’re ready, even willing to undertake this process, here are 2 great tools:
1. Ho’oponopono
This is a traditional Hawaiian process that has been translated as “to make right” and is often used in conflict resolution. The idea it is that we are making right with our life, our relatives – both past and present- and cleaning the karmic slate.
This technique is simple to do and requires that you walk through 4 basic steps.
- “I’m Sorry” – You can think about a person, situation or issue and seek repentance
- “Please Forgive Me” – The next step is to actively ask for forgiveness
- “Thank You” – In the third step, we recognize our gratitude for the situation and the learning opportunity
- “I Love You” – Lastly, we remember to return to love, to come back to the source of all and access that place
2. The Four Most Important Things
In 1994, Ira Byock, a hospice doctor, wrote a book about living that encourages forgiveness. Having been a hospice social worker myself, I immediately saw the importance, power and relevance of doing this work.
As Dr. Byock suggests, don’t wait until your loved one is at death’s door to say what you need to, do it now.
His list looks like this:
- Please Forgive Me
- I Forgive You
- I Love You
- Thank You
When I learned about his book, I was working at hospice and a few months later, my sister, who had metastasized breast cancer, was told by her oncologist that her liver was shutting down. I was now no different than the caregivers I’d been counseling and knew that I wanted to do forgiveness work with her.
In early June, I flew up to Washington DC determined to say these four statements.
I love you was easy. I did genuinely love my sister. We’d had our ups and downs as most siblings do, and despite her eccentricities, I really loved her.
Thank you was also effortless. I had tremendous gratitude for her, especially throughout our early years when we'd frequently moved- different schools, new friends. Throughout it all, Melissa was my constant companion.
Third, I asked her to forgive me. I hadn’t always been the kindest or most loving big sister. I’d lied to her, excluded her from playing with my friends, even bit her on the back once. I wanted her to know that I was sincerely apologetic for being mean.
But the last one – telling her that I forgave her- I could not say out loud.
I did, of course forgive her, because she'd also been a challenging sister, but the words wouldn’t come out. Each time I imagined saying “I forgive you,” they got caught in my throat as I heard her ask, “for what?”
A week later, I flew home, and back to school and work.
Walking into the hospice office, I went directly to my supervisor. “I’m trying to do the forgiveness work with my sister, Melissa. I asked for forgiveness, told her thank you and I love you but I couldn’t tell her, 'I forgive you'.”
My supervisor patted my hand. “You’ll know what to say.” She looked away and then back at me.
“Maybe you need to forgive her for being sick.”
I stared at her, stunned. I hadn’t even thought about forgiving Melissa for that. I wasn’t angry and didn’t blame her.
The next visit-which turned out to be the last- I was ready. I lay down next to her and said, “I just want you to know that I forgive you for getting sick.” The look of anguish in her eyes told me that my supervisor had been absolutely right.
Melissa had so much guilt about leaving me alone to deal with my parents’ old age and dying. Now she could go in peace.
Words have power.
Use these tools to help you resolve any ill will or past grievance you have with anyone. Set yourself free and live from a place of love and lasting happiness. Forgiveness is the key to true spiritual evolution. Unlock the door now.
Are you ready? Leave me a comment below!
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10 Reasons To Meditate
In 1997, I officially began a meditation practice.
At the time, I was receiving acupuncture for a physical condition and my practitioner and I soon became friends, sharing interests in film, politics and spirituality.
One day when speaking about a recent visit from the Dalai Lama, my acupuncturist friend looked at me and said, “you really need to meditate.”
I knew her words were meant as encouragement, but I was scared and quickly made an excuse. “I don’t have time.” I had a 3 year-old, a full time job and a long commute...
She ignored my excuses. “You have to make time.”
In 1997, I officially began a meditation practice.
At the time, I was receiving acupuncture for a physical condition and my practitioner and I soon became friends, sharing interests in film, politics and spirituality.
One day when speaking about a recent visit from the Dalai Lama, my acupuncturist friend looked at me and said, “you really need to meditate.”
I knew her words were meant as encouragement, but I was scared and quickly made an excuse. “I don’t have time.” I had a 3 year-old, a full time job and a long commute...
She ignored my excuses. “You have to make time.”
What could I say?
So I heeded her words and created a sacred space.
Today, nearly twenty years later, I look forward to sitting in the morning and honestly, cannot imagine my life without it.
Here are the top 10 reasons I meditate:
1. Meditation allows me to be proactive.
I become a co-creator in my life instead of feeling like a victim of circumstance. From this space, I can see that life happens for me instead of to me. I can vision my future.
2. Creates a Cushion
Meditation gives me space, like an energetic bubble around me, so I don’t feel everything as intensely and take the world too seriously. Being a sensitive person this has been a huge boon and has helped me show up in a more loving, less fearful way.
3. Presence
As I continue to strengthen the muscle of meditation, I find that I'm increasingly more present in every moment of my life. When someone speaks to me, I listen to what they are saying instead of hearing the constant chatter of my own mind. When I drive, I see the cars, the pollen on my windshield, the sun beaming down on me. I genuinely experience and live life.
4. Respond
My meditation practice allows me to respond rather than react to people, situations and issues. In other words, I hear or experience something and (usually) don’t immediately jump into the drama or chaos. Instead, I can respond from a place of peace and calm.
5. Clarity
Sometimes I have questions about my life – what to do or how to proceed. Meditation helps me explore these ideas and get answers and insight.
6. Goals for the Day
When I sit in the morning, I set intentions. How do I want this day to be? How would I like to feel? What would I like to accomplish?
7. Trust
As I deepen my practice I trust more in a higher consciousness/God/the Universe. This helps me release fear. And as I open to this space of grace, I'm guided by this higher consciousness.
8. De-Stressor
Meditation helps me deal with stress. Whenever I experience a stressful experience, I can begin conscious breathing and my heart rate and blood pressure immediately drop. This practice helps ground me back into the moment and into my body.
9. Relaxation
Meditation alleviates anxiety and gives me a space to relax. The silent place of meditation is like a refuge, a place of peace and rejuvenation. A space that restores and renews me. It is both incredibly relaxing and energizing.
10. Prayer Remedies Helplessness
Sometimes the pain and suffering of our world can feel overwhelming. This is when prayer comes in. I pray for peace, for sustainability, for healing. Then I feel like I'm contributing to the well being of our planet.
Meditation is transformative. It is the ONE thing you can do to truly create lasting change in your life, connect more deeply to your true nature and be fully present in your life.
If you’re ready to start your practice, or even deepen it, check out my free meditation guide here!
AND share ONE reason YOU love meditation BELOW!
Why Archetypes Matter & How to Use Them
Since I was a girl, I’ve been obsessed with myths and legends, the hero’s journey and the fight between good and evil.
When I got into college, I discovered Carl Jung and his work on both the collective unconscious and archetypes.
Don’t stop reading because this sounds too heady – I promise it isn’t.
Recently, I dove back into learning more about archetypes because I realized they play a huge roll in our lives. They influence us in seen and unseen ways and I wanted clarity about which ones were influencing me and how I could both recognize and harness them.
This inspired me to read Caroline Myss’ book, Sacred Contracts. In it, she shares that we all have 12 archetypes playing out in our lives. I think of them like guardians.
Since I was a girl, I’ve been obsessed with myths and legends, the hero’s journey and the fight between good and evil.
When I got into college, I discovered Carl Jung and his work on both the collective unconscious and archetypes.
Don’t stop reading because this sounds too heady – I promise it isn’t.
Recently, I dove back into learning more about archetypes because I realized they play a huge roll in our lives. They influence us in seen and unseen ways and I wanted clarity about which ones were influencing me and how I could both recognize and harness them.
This inspired me to read Caroline Myss’ book, Sacred Contracts. In it, she shares that we all have 12 archetypes playing out in our lives. I think of them like guardians.
One of the things she claims, is that we ALL share four. Meaning that out of the twelve we all have the exact same four, (the other eight could be any of a list of over a hundred.)
The four we all have are: the child, the victim, the prostitute and the saboteur.
Before I get carried away, let’s back up.
What exactly is an archetype?
An archetype can be thought of as a prototype, a model or the original on which others things are built or influenced.
Carl Jung popularized the concept of archetype in his book, The Structure of the Psyche. He describes archetypes as being universal models of people, ways of being/acting (personality). He believed that these archetypes inhabit our dreams and, what he called, the collective unconscious.
“Archetypes constitute the structure of the collective unconscious - they are psychic innate dispositions to experience and represent basic human behavior and situations. Thus mother-child relationship is governed by the mother archetype. Father-child - by the father archetype.” Carl-Jung.net
We all share this collective unconscious. Meaning that everyone, regardless of nationality, race, creed or ethnicity, tap into this universal energy and are influenced by the same archetypes.
Have you ever seen tarot cards?
Many of the symbols on them are archetypes. Think about: the king, queen, prince, princess, magician (sorcerer/wise woman), hermit, seeker (wanderer), lover, gambler, midas/miser, monk, mother, father, etc.
How do archetypes show up in your life?
What Jung, Tarot card readers and intuitive healers (like Caroline Myss) say, is that these guides influence our lives. They affect how we respond in situations and motivate us.
As Myss says, “Archetypes are your energy guides to your highest potential.”
This is why I wanted to understand them more.
Here’s a more detailed description of the four we all share:
1. Child
Of course we all share the child. Why? Because we’ve all been one. It’s part of the human experience. According to Myss, there are different ways the child can show up in us.
Wounded, abandoned, neglected, orphaned, dependent – How did what happened to you as a child still play a role in your life or scar you? Are you still needy or expecting to be taken care of?
Innocent / magical /nature / divine – This is the purity of the child. How they see that anything is possible and are open to the magic of the world. When you can tap into this, you tap into pure creativity.
Our journey to health and adulthood is to overcome dependence and wounded-ness and move to independence, openness and channeling that creativity.
Going beyond the wounded/abandoned child allows you to connect in a healthy way with your own innocence.
2. Victim
We all know what a victim is and have all felt like one in our lives. We feel like victims when we have no power or control.
As we emerge into adulthood, we can shed the victim by creating healthy boundaries and by asserting our own power.
We do this by standing up for ourselves, speaking our truth, living our passion, etc. How you see yourself and your relationship with the victim archetype, is, according to Myss, a dive into self esteem.
3. Prostitute
I love how Myss describes this. Don’t think about it how we normally define the word. Instead, explore it as where you compromise your values or sell out.
A really easy way to see this is to tune in to the American presidential primaries. What is a candidate willing to sacrifice (in terms of values or beliefs) for votes?
For the rest of us, the prostitute archetype comes into play when our basic survival is jeopardized. Makes sense, right?
The prostitute, according to Myss, is present to test our faith. For when we genuinely have faith, we are not for sale.
4. Saboteur
I cringed when I saw that I had this one. Ugh.
In the negative, it acts to disrupt plans, dreams, intentions. It is how we get in our own way. For me, it’s about sometimes flaking out and not finishing things.
How does it show up for you?
In the positive, the sabotuer can be the impetus, the drive to push us forward, to help us listen to our own intuition.
Ultimately, the saboteur helps us see how we experience change in our lives and our willingness to deal with it.
Myss’ book, Sacred Contracts, really opened my eyes to how these four work in my life. It also inspired me to dive in and determine what my other eight were and understand how they influence me.
I’m infinitely curious about life, how to live it and succeed. The more we bring into the light and move from the unconscious to the conscious, the more power we have to impact our lives positively and fulfill our deepest wishes and desires.
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And here are some great sources for you about archetypes:
3 Ways Spiritual Work Helps with Life & Death
Last weekend I attended a memorial service for a woman I’d known for fifteen years. It’s a story you’ve all heard before. She was fine, couldn’t get rid of a cough, went to the doctor and received a stage IV cancer diagnosis.
As I sat in the crowd, surrounded by people who loved her, I was reminded of a memorial service I attended twenty years ago, when I had just begun my spiritual practice.
My brother’s best friend had hung himself. It was a tragedy and everyone was shocked. I happened to be in New York and was able to attend the service.
As I walked uptown to the venue, I was nervous. I’d known this young man well and was both shocked and saddened by the loss. What could I say to his family? Truth is, we’re all uncomfortable with death. We avoid thinking about it, looking at it, talking about it.
Then I heard my meditation teacher’s words echo as my feet hit the pavement. “We do spiritual work to deal with death.”
Last weekend I attended a memorial service for a woman I’d known for fifteen years.
It’s a story you’ve all heard before. She was fine, couldn’t get rid of a cough, went to the doctor and received a stage IV cancer diagnosis.
I sat in the crowd, surrounded by people who loved her, and was reminded of a memorial service I attended twenty years ago, when I had just begun my spiritual practice.
My brother’s best friend had hung himself. It was a tragedy and everyone was shocked. I happened to be in New York and was able to attend the service.
As I walked uptown to the venue, I was nervous. I’d known this young man well and was both shocked and saddened by the loss. What could I say to his family? Truth is, we’re all uncomfortable with death. We avoid thinking about it, looking at it, talking about it.
Then I heard my meditation teacher’s words echo as my feet hit the pavement. “We do spiritual work to deal with death.”
What exactly did she mean?
I contemplated her words the whole walk there and when I arrived, I understood.
1. We are Not a Body
The primary reason that we are afraid of death is because we think it’s the end. It certainly is the end for our physical bodies and for our egos, but not the soul. For that part of us is eternal.
When we believe that we are more than a body, death ceases to have that terrifying hold. Instead, we can see it as a doorway through which we walk. Some call it a release. And if you’ve ever seen a corpse, you know that the person you loved is clearly not there anymore.
We are spirit beings have a human experience.
2. Live Today As If it’s Your Last Day on Earth
I first read this idea in a Buddhist text. Initially, I thought it was morbid - this day, my last? Back then, I was in my early 20s, and my life sprawled out in front of me. But as I sat with the idea more, it dawned on me that the point was to truly live this day. Feel this day, embrace today.
It’s so easy to procrastinate and think, “I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll tell her next week.” But what if next week never comes? As Happiness guru, Robert Holden reminds us. “Procrastinate tomorrow.” And live today to the fullest.
Be one hundred percent in with everything and everybody.
One of the reminders we get when a loved one dies is to come back to that, how precious every moment of life is. And to remember to really live this day.
“It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up - that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
3. The Fear of Death Prevents Us from Actually Living
As I dove into understanding my life and purpose, I began to see how much I was afraid of living and this was intricately tied to the fear of death.
This propelled me into wanting to make peace with death, to greet it not from a place of anxiety but as an opportunity for a new adventure.
Truth be told, no one wants to suffer and the thought of writhing in pain, or experiencing some kind of horrific ordeal is not what anyone, including me, wants.
Yet all of us at some point, sooner or later, has to recognize that we will die. It is not an if, it is a when. And as we accept that notion, that part of us is finite, we open up more to life.
As Carl Rogers says, "You can't possibly be afraid of death, really you can only be afraid of life."
People frequently write and speak about the power of meditation and spiritual work to help us live more full and complete lives with increased awareness and presence. And one of the most significant ways this work manifests in our lives is in helping us embrace death as much as we embrace life.
It allows us to accept death as part of life’s sacred journey, to know that there isn’t anything to be afraid of, that death isn’t really the end but simply a doorway into the next reality. As Socrates eloquently stated:
To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils.